AN: This is almost half a year late...I'd forgotten about this unfinished little annoyance I'd started in December - HAH! well, Happy (super early) Christmas in July!

051 : Ludicrous

The Guild was in an all out war against the holiday season. With festive garlands errantly hung everywhere in the colors of white, gold and red to support the snow, richness of the seasons, and of course the neccessary color of Fairy Tail itself.

Lucy was only one of many who were enthusiastic for the coming joyous days of this snow wonderland. In the past two years that she'd been at the Guild she'd was at first hesitant about the holiday season and the supposed wonder it brought to others. She had been bitter because of her Father who didn't even acknowledge the decorations that would customarily adorn their town or the way the maids would gossip about what to get each other. Lucy had gotten small trinkets snuck from her favorite maids and butlers, but she'd never once gotten anything from her Father.

But now that she was part of a family too many to count and after those two years, her icy heart towards the holidays had been melted and she couldn't be happier for the snow to come and for the presents to be wrapped and exchanged.

She was especially excited for this year, too, because their little ring of five (Natsu, Gray, Erza, Happy and herself) had agreed to do a Secret Santa theme. They had agreed to pick names out of a hat and get a present (under a certain amount of money too, they had many others to give gifts to) and somehow have their mystery person recieve their gift on Christmas Eve. Then, on Christmas day, they would come together and reveal who it was that got them the gift, if the recipient hadn't already figured it out.

They had also made the rule that gag presents were to be allowed. And maybe Lucy and Happy, with their playful faces and light words, had encouraged exactly that a little... ok a lot. The blond had pretty much demanded they might as well have as much fun with this that they could, and hey, this way she could spend less money.

Lucy thought she had lucked out pretty well, getting Gray. It had been simple enough, in a sickly humorous way. She had gotten him a self-piercing kit and with it a note that said, 'If you flaunt it around so much, you may as well put some decoration on it.'

Honestly, the teen didn't know where she'd gotten the idea, but once she had finished wrapping it, she did feel herself sink a little more into the insanity of their group and wished, yet again, that there was such a thing as brain-soap. Usually she needed it to forget things, this time she needed it to clean up her dirty mind.

Laughing at her sheer, overwhelming genius at present-picking, the blond actually almost did fall off the small rock-wall she liked to walk on. Ignoring the shouts of the sailors nearby ("We told you to watch out a hundred times!") she straightened her short skirt and continued marching to the party.

Her present for Gray was tucked under her arm at this moment, wrapped in sparkling silver paper with a big blue bow on top. When she arrived at the bustling party, she already knew how she was going to give the present to Gray in secrecy and so quickly made her way over to the bar - and so Mirajane.

"Hello Lucy, may I say that your outfit is quite adorable?" the sweet silver-haired model said as she handed a beer to a nearby customer.

"Oh, thanks, I asked Virgo to make it for me and then Cancer curled my hair," Lucy said with a giggle and spin, showing off her costume in its entirety. It was obviously Christmas themed as it had a white faux fur trim along both hems at the low-cut bust and short skirt, a thick brown, golden-buckled belt at her waist. Her hair was in emaculate curls and it seemed there were multiple shiny snowflake clilps hidden within the gold tussels.

"But I didn't come here to be praised," the teen suddenly remembered a she revealed her gift in all its glory to Mirajane, "I have a really big favor to ask of you."

"You want me to give this to Gray I'm guessing?" the bartender asked with a tilt of her head as she saw the large, capital letters of GRAY covering a large chunk of wrapping paper at the top.

"And you can't tell him it's from me, we're doing a small Secret Santa," the blond's grin only seemed to grow with each word. "So, can you accept this highly important mission for me?"

Bringing her hand up to give a salute, the older woman said with a serious tone, "Of course Lucy!"

With that taken care of, Lucy allowed herself to enjoy the party to her heart's content. Drinking (obviously spiked) eggnog and punch, not giving heed to the dreaded calories of the cookies she was munching on, avoiding missletoe at all costs, soaking up the compliments on her 'little Santa's helper' costume, and laughing it up with her friends that were more like extended family.

But, sadly, all good things must come to an end. For Lucy's case, the demise came in the form of a fairly small pink box that landed directly on top of her curled little head.

"Yeowch!" she said out in self-pity before leaning down and picking up the precisely wrapped gift, seeing her name neatly printed on a card attatched to the large, gaudy multi-colored bow in the middle.

"Oh, you got a gift from the sky Lucy?" Levi said with a slight squeal.

The blond wasn't as enthusiastically happy as she looked up, catching a glimpse of blue before it darted back out the door.

"Secret Santa, thinking you're so clever as to get Happy to deliver the gift, realizing that it illiminates one of the possibilities for me to figure it out, hohoho!"

"Wow bunny girl," Gazille said with no enthusiasm whatsoever, "I never knew you could make Santa's trademark laugh so maniacle. Good job."

"Oh, stop being facecious Gazille," Levi scolded with a slap to his arm.

Even though it obviously didn't hurt, the metal dragon master rubbed his arm and said, "I'm not being facecious, I'm being sarcastic."

"But that would mean you directly want to, 'tear her flesh,' to physically hurt her," Levi said with a finger to her chin; from being an obvious book-worm she would of course know the literal meaning of the word.

"Exactly," Gazille said as he lfited his head a little in pride. But before Levi could land a solid punch or slap to him, he ducked into the swarming crowd and out of sight.

"Hey, come back here you idiot dragon!" The short-haired girl said before she sprung after him, forgetting about the person next to her that was really the cause of their meaningless tiffle.

But it seemed Lucy didn't mind much as she was busily examining the box, to try and determine if it was a slime monster ready to jump out and ruin her outfit. After a few minutes of flipping and shaking, hearing nothing (especially not a ticking noise) she deemed it safe to open up. When she stared at the two articles in the box after opening it, she realized she was quite wrong.

- X - X - X - X - X - X - X -

Gray had been having an oddly entertaining time, even with that rain-girl following him. At parties, no one really minded if you were half-naked - a large amount of people gradually joined him as they continued to drink the punch, that he'd added his 'special' ice into of course. It as perfect, no one could guess that he had the ability to freeze the impossible and as it slowly melted, people would then slowly become more drunk as the party continued.

He was a freaking genius, baby.

So he'd been about to make it to the bar when a skantily clad Santa helper had stopped him. It took him a moment to realize that this wanna-be elf was Lucy. Oh, her and her silly outfits.

"Gray!" she said his name with such venom he felt immediatly responsible for something he didn't even know about yet. Anything to make her stop glaring her brown eyes that were usually so kind.

"W-What's up Lucy? Drunk any of the punch? It's quite de-"

"Shut-it," Lucy said, the ice alchemist immediately doing just that.

"Mind telling me what in your right mind it was to give me this as my Christmas present?" she demanded as she shoved over a small pink box.

Gray seemed to stare at it before his eyes flicked up to her and then back down. "What do you want me to do with this?"

"Look inside idiot - it's a present, you open the damn things!"

The teenager wondered what could be so bad that it was having the blond in such an uncharacteristically huffy mood before he warily tipped open the top, lifting his eyebrows in apprehension.

When he saw the contents of the box, he couldn't stop the laughter from erupting out of him.

"It's not funny!" Lucy hissed as she painfully slapped him in the arm (quite similar to Erza's punch actually) as she snatched back to the box. "Why the hell did you get this for me?"

"Me?" he asked in an incredulous voice, "I wouldn't have the gaul to give you edible underwear!"

Lucy glared at him with her brow tightly brought together, the face so serious it made Gray let out a giggle. "I'm dead serious, it wasn't me who got you that."

"Well it wasn't Happy either..." Lucy drifted off before she patted a fist in her palm as if in victory, "It's obviously Erza then. I must find her."

Gray shook his head as he watched her go, thinking that she was just as oblivious to it all as the person who'd given her the skimpy underwear. Or... he had been oblivious. But this was beyond what the black-haired teenager had to worry about. He was off to the bar, and then to see how his ice was doing.

- X - X - X - X - X - X - X -

"DAMN IT ALL!" Lucy yelled to the heavens as she sat on the grassy hill nearby the Guild, still being able to hear the music from the party that half the city was at. She had managed to find Erza in the mess of people and she had denied having Lucy as her partner, the blond hopefully not having to show the red-head the present like she did with Gray.

"Maybe it was Happy who gave it to me," she said as she rested her chin in her palm, "I mean, the only other person is Natsu and..." she drifted off to let herself get a good gut-wrenching laugh. Natsu. Thinking of this gift. It was comedic gold.

"Hey there Lu," said a voice over her shoulder before she watched a familiar figure sit down beside her.

"Hey Natsu," the blond grinned back, her teeth gleaming in the almost-darkness, if not for the street lamps that lined the road they were sitting nearby.

"So, did you get your present?" he asked nonchalantly as he wrapped his scarf around his neck more efficiently.

Blushing, Lucy replied with, "Yeah. Crazy."

"Hn? I bet it can't be that bad," he said with a fanged grin.

"Oh, it's bad," she corrected as she shook her curled head, "But I can't figure out who to punch for it. Both Gray and Erza denied it, and Happy dropped it off and he wouldn't risk that - so it can't be him."

"So what's your only other option?" Natsu asked.

Lucy was silent for a moment before gasping, "Of course! It's so clear now!"

Sighing himself, Natsu murmured, "Finally."

"Gray and Erza - one of them must be lying!"

Natsu's jaw hung open before he yelled a, "Jeez Lucy, you're not helping credibility to the blond race!"

"What do you mean by that?" Lucy asked in confusion.

"Obviously I'm the one who gave it to you."

Remembering how she'd gone over that fleeting idea just momentarily, the laughter returned and she said, "Yeah right. And I'm a guy."

"You're a guy?" Natsu said in alarm as his eyes widened.

"I'm kidding Natsu," she said, and he blew out a sigh of relief. "And you said I was being stupid. P-shaw."

"I am being serious - I gave you that stupid gift! You know how embarassing it was buying it - the clerk was asking me all sorts of questions!"

Looking over, Lucy did notice a slight blush in his cheeks despite the darkness.

"I still don't believe you. You probably don't even know what boobs are."

"I know yours are awesome."

"Natsu!" Lucy gasped as she crossed her arms, seeing where his eyes had trailed to.

"You do realize I'm a guy right?" the pink-haired teen asked as he moved on the grass to face her.

"And you do realize you're the densest guy I've ever known?" she easily countered.

"What will it take for you to believe me?" Natsu asked in exasperation.

Lucy's brown eyes narrowed in thought before she said, "Kiss me?"

No sooner had the words been said then she was thrown on her back, Natsu hoovering over her with a grin. The blond's eyes widened as she realized he was actually serious; "Natsu, you can't be-"

And then he soundlessly kissed her.

When they broke apart, Natsu whispered, "Now, are we going to enjoy the gift I gave you or not?"

- X - X - X - X - X - X - X -

"Where are they?" Gray asked in annoyance as he tapped his foot, head aching and eyes sore from the destroyed decorations that adorned the Guild. He shouldn't have a hangover on Christmas or have to stare at passed out people.

"Maybe they became preoccupied with something more important," Erza supplied as she looked from Happy to Gray, "You did say you haven't seen him since the party, right Happy?"

Gray shot up and his eyes lit up in rememberance, causing him to begin a fit of giggles.

"What is wrong with you now?" Erza sighed.

"Nothing," Gray said between a chuckle, "I just remembered what Lucy showed me last night. And then I just put two and two together."

"You saw what was inside?" Happy asked with interest, "Natsu didn't even allow me to see! Tell me!"

"Yeah, tell us Gray," Erza added.

"Oh no," Gray said with a lazy grin, "I'll let you two find out yourselves. You'll thank me."