I'm looking through the notebook Anders gave me to see if there is anything that might make Mona's recovery easier. We will be needed back at Skyhold soon, and though it has only been three days I know every hour is precious. Though, in reality I would happily stay here for weeks to let her recover. As I look through her note book I find all the ways she has been trying to find me over the years. Sketches of the mask of Fen'harel. Extensive studies of the dreamers abilities and notes to keep an eye on a mage named Feynriel. Ever so often I come across drawing of a wolf with six eyes. Sometimes black, but most of the time it's white. It both warmths and saddens my heart as I see them. If only I had known she had been searching for me. Had I known what I do now I would have approached her in her dreams. I look through the names and smile as I see both Cole's and Wisdom's names right beneath Anders and my own. Some of the names I recognize from Varric's tale of the champion. Leandra being the one name I know she managed to save. But the list is a long one, and I can see the page has a few spots that have been wet at one point. Dried tears from the looks of it.

I hear noise outside. Varric and Anders in an argument again. Or rather Anders trying to get Varric to talk to him, while Varric is being very passive aggressive. Cole has attempted to help, but Varric doesn't let him. Since Cole has become more spirit Varric seems a little uneasy around him. Such foolishness. Cole is not less himself now than he was before. The only thing they actually do accomplish is waking Mona.

"Solas?" She murmurs as she sits up and looks for me.

Atish'an jumps up onto the bed and starts licking her fiercely. I hurry to her side and take her hand, gently shooing Atish'an of the bed.

"I'm here, vhenan . Everything will be alright," I comfort. After everything she has been through I am uncertain how she is feeling. As always she seems more concerned about my well-being than her own.

"Of course it will. You're here." She smiles with such warmth my heart swells. A wistful chuckle escapes me and I give her a soft kiss. If she only knew how helpless and frightened I felt. When I'm about to pull away she holds me close deepening the kiss. When she allows me to break away I rest my brow against hers.

"I don't know what I might have done had I lost you."

"You would have been fine." She cups my cheek and lets her thumb caress my cheekbone.

I pull away and look at her. Does she not know what seeing her almost die did to me?

"I think you underestimate how important you have become to me."

"Perhaps, but I know your strength. It would have hurt you, but you would survive." She gives me a quick soft kiss. "You always do."

"Of course…" I turn my head down towards the floor evading her eyes. She is right of course. I would go on, but my heart would have been torn from my chest in such a way I'm uncertain even eons would be enough for it to heal. I still feel the murder of Mythal keenly. Mona's death would...

Mona takes a gentle hold of my chin and turns my eyes back towards her.

"There is a difference between surviving and living, however. Whatever comes please remember that... I love you."

Regardless of my many conflicting emotions I can't help but smile. She has given me her heart so freely, and though I know I do not deserve it there is nothing in this world more dear to me.

"And I you, my heart."

Her eyes turn to the book.

"I haven't seen that in ages. I wondered what happened to it." She picks it up and looks through.

"I didn't mean to intrude-"

She gives me a soft kiss.

"It's fine." A fierce blush forms on her cheeks. "I'm a little embarrassed at the amount of poorly drawn wolves, but it's fine."

Her eyes turn towards the door and I hear it open. Anders walks into the cottage and releases a deep sigh as he sees her.

"Hi…" she greets meekly.

He rushes to the other side of the bed and kneels on it dragging her into his embrace.

"You are one daring woman." He burrows his face in her neck and closes his eyes. He then pulls away looking at her sternly. "What were you thinking?!"

"Well, good morning to you too, Anders. Good to see you are your usual delightful self." She gives him a humorous scowl.

"There is nothing 'delightful' about having to save you from attempting to kill yourself - again!"

They are quiet for a few moments before he rushes forward and pulls her to him in a tight embrace again. Atish'an presses against my leg and puts her head in my lap. Should I take this much comfort in the fact that her dog seems to prefer me to any other who cares for my heart?

"It's so good to see you! Thank the Maker you made it!"

"I'm happy to see you, too." Her embrace on him is tight - as if she never intends to let him go. "Thank you for saving my life," she murmurs softly before he pulls away. I feel suddenly out of place, but then Mona's hand reaches for mine without looking - interlacing our fingers.

"You're welcome." Anders smiles his eyes briefly looking to our hands. "So, what in the name of the Maker were you thinking? You tried to increase your connection to the fade before and it didn't work. What did you do to that thing?"

She looks at me for a moment - more hesitant than I have ever seen her.

"At first… but this time it wasn't supposed to increase my connection to it. It was suppose to shield my from it."

"You were attempting to make yourself tranquil?" I frown. A part of my wants to be furious, but I know her well enough to know there has to be a rational explanation. Anders has no such patience.

"You're kidding!"

Her eyes dart to him momentarily, but she turns to me again and answers my question.

"No. No, of course not." She strokes my cheek. "I was trying to see if I could make a device that limited the connection to the fade without severing it. When I realised Envy had somehow activated it, I needed to see if I could control it." There is a slight tremble in her voice. It's important to her that I understand.

"Why?" I keep my voice soft.

"Because, I was trying to find a safe way to prevent mages from becoming possessed. Imagine if there was a safe way to do it until they were old enough to control it." Mona does not look at me. She knows the rage that is buried beneath my calm demeanour. However, I have no intention of berating her in front of Anders. I can't fault her intentions, but for her to take such a risk with her own life...

Anders drops back onto the bed and stares at her. I cannot tell if he is pleased or offended. He simply looks at a loss for words.

"And you thought attempting this on yourself was the wisest cause of action?" I sigh, unable to hide my disappointment.

"What would you have me do? Use the Inquisition to kidnap mage blooded children and implant these devices in them? I could have an entire set up in a lab, where they would be watched in cages and studied around the clock." She raises an eyebrow that matches the sarcastic tone of her voice.

Anders puts a hand on her shoulder to get her attention. Both of us ignoring her sarcastic remark.

"If it worked it no child would have to be ripped away from his mother… but why you doing this now? Because of the breach?"

"It's what started it, yes."

"So, it had been dormant for years until you had that encounter with Envy." I deduce.

"Actually, it didn't even work until Envy. And immediately after I had no idea that it even worked. Not until I was able to interact with the fade, Wisdom…" Her gaze softens as she looks at me. "You, that I even suspected it was working."

That would account for her being able to dream with such focus. The only other thing I know that manages to do that is the mark of Fen'Harel.

"You could have told me you put raw lyrium in the blighted thing." Anders hisses.

"I would never implant raw lyrium into my skull." She rolls her eyes at him and seems a little offended. "Do you think me a complete idiot?"

Anders grins and she points at him with a scowl: "Not a word, feathers!"

My eyes widen as I look at her.

"There were crystals growing behind it, you know." Anders hands her the bowl with the small metal object and the small crystals. Atish'an sniffs in the direction of the bowl and then grumbles.

"That makes no sense." She rubs her forehead and for the first time since I have met her she looks truly bewildered.

"There was no lyrium in it. Not even some traces of dust?" I ask holding her hand a little tighter to offer her some comfort.

"Only a tiny amount of liquid inside the wiring."

"You idiot!" Anders hisses and her eyes dart to him with fury.

"Oh, come on, Anders! How many lyrium potions have you swallowed? How many templars have taken this stuff on a daily basis? Have you ever seen crystals grow out of them?"

I have never heard her sound so arrogant before, but I assume I can come of quite the same, when talking to those who are not able to comprehend my meaning.

Anger flares in his face for a moment before he sighs in defeat.

"Then what happened?" He crosses his arms.

Mona looks to me again with a pensive expression.

"The Profane? The fade? Or was it the rune all along?"

"Or when I cast that spell in the Crossroads. Possibly a combination." I turn my gaze from her feeling the shame that I was the possible cause of her almost dying.

"Well, I'll make sure to run a lot of tests before I implant the next one." She turns my head and smiles at me, while I give her a stern look.

"I can't believe I'm hearing this! Have you lost your mind?!" Anders cries, his eyes ablaze as he looks at her. Atish'an gives a short bark, but Anders just glares at the dog. I stroke her head to calm her and reluctantly she places her head in my lap again.

"Because I have to." Mona sighs.

She is omitting the question. But I know the answers Anders doesn't. It's purpose was to shield her mind from a dreamer. Either Felassan or myself. It was an attempt to find a way to protect the children of Thedas once I tear down the veil. She did this to help the people of Thedas to adapt to the changes that I will bring. Slowly adjust them to the fade.

"You did it for me." I state quietly and she looks at me. 'For me', 'because of me' - when it comes to Mona those words mean the same. Her heart is intertwined with everything related to me.

"Yes."

Anders gives me a pained look before getting up.

"Perhaps, I better give you two a moment. I'll just go talk to Varric - because that hasn't been awkward at all." He grimaces at Mona, who gives him a sympathetic look.

"I suggest bringing, Cole. He'll help."

He merely nods as he walk out the door his gaze turned towards the floor. I look to Mona. Her face is flushed and I can tell she is uncomfortable.

"Will you tell me what happened?"

"After Adamant I thought it has short circuited. I truly believed that it was just the rune and stress causing all of it. I don't know… sometimes my body just doesn't feel right - and I can't tell why. It's almost as if it absorbs everything. Maybe it's the runes, the lyrium… or something in the Deep Roads I don't remember… I just… Solas, I'm so sorry..."

I cup her jaw with my hand.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She gives me a sad smile.

"Because you would have told me to stop."

"You do not have to risk your own life - or do anything so drastic. Take the time you need to explore this safely if you must do it."

Despite my voice being soft she pushes away and gets out of bed. As she stands she crosses her arms across her chest.

"I don't have that luxury, Solas. The world is going to change, whether I like it or not - and I'm trying to just save… something… someone… anyone." She releases a deep sigh.

"What is it you want, vhenan ?"

"Do not ask me that question, Solas." She shuts her eyes tight and her voice is heavy with grief.

"That you do not wish me to is the very reason why I must."

She rubs her face and makes an exasperated noise.

"I want to see the veil fall. I want to see the magic return and the spirits free from the fade. I want to see Thedas as it was always meant to be. I want to share that with you. I want to see the miracles that you can shape. But just because I want it, it doesn't make it right."

She releases a deep trembling sigh.

"I want everyone to have a place in that world - not just elves. We both know that in the end, what you and I want doesn't matter. So, I didn't want to sour any moment I had with you…"

She turns to me, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. They are a weapon more potent than any that could ever kill me. I sigh with regret as I respond:

"What you wish for might not be possible..."

"I wished for you and you're here." She gives me a rueful smile that makes me release a breathless chuckle.

The door is pushed open and both Iron Bull and Varric walk towards her taking turns to embrace her.

"You scared us, Waffles." Varric shakes his head.

"Yes, but think of the story you get to tell." She winks at him and he grins.

"So, Boss, there is this arena here and I was wondering…"

As they talk I walk out the cottage and walk towards the edge of the cliff. I need some air to recover from this. Atish'an follows me on her own accord.

I sit on a cliff overlooking the Avvar village. I have been sitting here for hours in the company of my own thoughts. Now that my heart is out of any immediate danger I need time to absorb all that has happened. Atish'an is lying on the ground beside me as I sit on a rock. I cannot think of a creature whose company I enjoy this much - save for Mona and spirits naturally. It is all quiet and peaceful - in complete contrast to the battle raging inside my mind.

Unfortunately, Anders is the person to seek me out after a long while has passed. He stands next to me with his arms crossed.

"I'm trying to understand what happened to her. She never dealt with demons before. Only good spirits."

"The two are not so dissimilar. And she never dealt with any. She was merely subjected to them and resisted their influence over her."

"Is that what you call it? She nearly died!" Anders fumes in frustration. "Do you honestly not recognize the difference between demons and beneficial spirits?"

"They are the same. The Chantry sees black and white, but nature is, and always has been, grey. A spirit is a purpose. A demon is that purpose perverted. I would have believed you had come to that understanding on your own, considering..." I keep my voice calm.

He scoffs shaking his head.

"Spirits were the first children of the Maker, but He turned his back on them to dote on His mortal creations. The ones who resented this became demons, driven to take everything mortals had and gain back the Maker's favor."

"That is one story, yes." I agree. "Whether it is the right one is up for debate."

"Exactly, what do you believe?" Anders crosses his arms again and gives me a stern look.

"Cause and effect. Wisdom as its own reward, and the inherent right of all free willed people to exist." I reach down and stroke Atish'an's head as she makes a pleasant grumbling sound.

Anders' arms falls to his sides and he looks at me with a wistful expression.

"You sound so much like her… Mona I mean."

"We share many of the same views on the world, that is true. Further proof of the lacking knowledge of the circle. If a woman, with no magical ability, can have a better grasp on spirits and magical phenomenon than a highly skilled spirit healer trained in circle, it is a wonder so many managed to pass the harrowing." I point out - this time failing to keep my voice quite as even.

"Was that a compliment or an insult? It is hard to tell." Anders chuckles.

"You have gained remarkable abilities and proved you have great talent despite the boundaries put on you. That you still follow them now, that you are free of the Circle, is you own doing." I get to my feet and walk away before he can engage me in any further conversation. As much as I understand how and why Mona admires the man I find him increasingly frustrating. A frustration not made less by the fact that I can hear his footsteps right behind me.

He walks up next to me and point toward a circular structure at the top of the village. "They are down by the arena. That Qunari and Varric wanted to join."

"I don't doubt it." I manage a smile and Atish'an licks my hand.

Mona is standing at the edge of the arena looking down. She manages a smile as I walk over to her. After she greets Atish'an I kiss her cheek. Her normal lovely scent of vanilla and spice is replaced by a more earthy scent filled with herbs. His scent. Hardly surprising since she spent the past two days in his bed, but it still bothers me. She gives me a curious look, but doesn't ask. Instead she hands me a letter.

"Leliana wants us to stay put for a few days. She is sending Philippe along with a Professor Kendrick and some of the Inquisition soldiers. There is quite a lot to learn here about the previous Inquisitor. I'm not going to divert any serious resources to it until after we have dealt with Corypheus, but I'll wait until they arrive."

"And Samson?"

"Edward found the tranquil that was working for him. Dagna is researching the tools as we speak. I can't wait to see it, when we get home." She takes my hand at the last word and I feel her meaning. It's the first time she has called it something besides Skyhold. It's our home. I reach for her cheek and she leans into my palm closing her eyes.

"It's very cute, you two being all doe eyed and shit, but Solas, we need you to help us kick some ass!" Iron Bull all but roars from behind us with enthusiasm.

"I'm not interested." I smile as I turn towards him and Varric.

"Now Chuckles, do I need to remind you that you are personally responsible for me losing a lot of coin to the Herald? You owe me." The dwarf winks up at me.

"Yeah, even Cole agreed to join… if we can find him." Iron Bull turns around to find him and sees him talking to a woman not far away.

"Duty calls." Mona smiles giving me a nudge with her elbow.

"Edward is going to complain we did this without him." I point out and Mona giggles.

I kiss her cheek before following the others into the arena. On my way down Anders passes me giving me a quick nod before walking towards Mona and Atish'an. I feel a large hand on my shoulder.

"What's with the glare, Solas?"

I look up at Iron Bull, who seems uncharastically concerned.

"It's nothing."

"That's right. Whatever you're imagining it's nothing. Anyone interested in her lost that fight to you ages ago."

"Thank you." I can't help but letting a small chuckle slip.

"Now, let's go rip those Avvar a new one!"

He pats my back hard pushing me in the direction of the arena.

To our luck we actually manage to win the challenge and Mona is the first to congratulate us, when we exit.

"See, this is why I'm proud of my Inquisition!" She wraps her arms around my waist and gives me a quick hug.

"Aaw, thanks Waffles. Joining us for a victory round?"

"Yes, boss, want to see what swill they serve here?" Iron Bull grins.

"Thank you, but I'm not quite up for that yet." She smiles at him and then turns to me. "You go with them. I'll see you later?"

"Of course." I smile at her as she rubs my shoulder.

I only get one drink with my overeager companions. Cole is already gone to find some hurts to heal, when I make my way back to Mona. When I return to the cottage after the celebratory drinks I hear noises coming from the cottage. I look in the window and see Anders holding something in the air, while Mona is trying to reach it.

"Anders, give that back to me!"

"Void I will! You keep messing with these things that can kill you!" He hisses, though there is something playful about the scenario.

Mona groans resting her hands on her hips.

"Why is it that whenever any of you idiots risk your lives it's perfectly acceptable, but when I do all of you become suddenly overprotective?"

"Because you seem to have a deathwish. So, I'm not giving it back to you."

He holds it up in the air as she jumps for it. He really is quite a lot taller than her.

"I do not have a deathw-"

"Bullshit!" Anders sneers. "Don't you realise that there are people, who love you and depend on you?"

There is something burning in his voice as he says it and he looks down at her - his eyes not wavering for a moment. Mona either doesn't notice or refuses to acknowledge it. She reaches for it and he turns his back towards her to prevent her from getting it.

"People are responsible for themselves!" Mona jumps onto his back as she reaches for the small metal piece in his hand.

"Think you can take on a mage?!" He growls playfully.

"Bring it on!" The defiance in her voice becoming almost a chuckle.

He creates an iceflare that goes down her back and she squeals from the cold before laughing. He twirls her around on his back and she giggles still trying to get a hold of the metal piece in his hand. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before I go to open the door. Anders stops and looks at me - his face flushed. Mona grabs the piece from his hand and jumps off with a triumphant grin on her face. She then takes a few quick steps towards me and embraces my neck from the side. I put one hand on her shoulder and force myself to give a small smile as she pecks my cheek.

"That's cheating." Anders chuckles.

"It was strategic." She grins in return, then looks at me. "I asked Sunhair for another cottage, so Anders will actually be able to sleep in his own bed for once."

"It's no bother. At least it's better than Darktown." He gives rueful smile and Mona chuckles.

"Goodnight Anders. I'll see you tomorrow. And thank you for everything."

"You're welcome." He smiles and I bid him goodnight as well.

Mona says little as we walk to the empty cottage the Avvar have lent us, while Iron Bull, Varric, and Cole are staying at their tavern. I can feel how fatigued she is and in truth she should probably have spent the entire day in bed.

As we lay in bed she rest her head on my chest and it takes me a minute to realise I'm healing her as I run my fingers through her hair. Though the migraines don't seem present she has been through and ordeal. It might help her some either way. I should feel nothing, but relief - though that is hard when the scent from her is unfamiliar herbs.