CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

LEETEUK

Leeteuk sat alone in his room, wondering what the hell he was doing. The ceiling was nice to look at and all and may it forever be imprinted in his brain but, he needed to do something. He was getting married in a week, regardless, but his heart still ached. The fact that he did not love Donghae at all was still intact. And it hurt to see his brother sulking about, never leaving his room or talking to him. They still haven't had their engagement party, which was tomorrow. So what was he to do? Act like nothing had happened? Act like his heart wasn't broken?

He needed fresh air. He needed to get away from everything this house emanated. Eunhyuk had not left his room in ages and when he did, he wouldn't even look Leeteuk in the face. You could see the tear stricken eyes rimmed with red and tired, swelled and plump. His lips were tinted a darker red and his skin was paler. God, who knows how long he had been up crying all those nights. One thing for sure was that Leeteuk could not take it anymore. He didn't want to see his brother like this and he did not want to see Donghae end up marrying him, Leeteuk.

Also, he has not seen Kangin. He has tried calling him but no one answered- as if they had their phone disconnected. Leeteuk has not even visited the place and his stomach was begging for food. Work was probably piling up but his father would not let him leave the place. What was Leeteuk to do?

So, he developed a plan. In the middle of his thoughts he pulled out the oh-so-familiar red zip-up and pulled out his little satchel, filling it with things that he thought he would need. When the clock struck nine and the sound of the rain was becoming unbearable, Leeteuk opened the door to his room. The dark hallways shadowed with the moonlight, each step creaking like a ticking bomb. He had to sneak into the garage to get a car so he did not have to walk in the rain but when he found out the door was locked and there was only one way in, he had to walk.

He scrunched up his face and sighed, placing his hand on his face. "I cannot believe this," He whispered.

"Believe what?" A voice croaked.

Leeteuk snapped up and turned slowly towards the voice. It was Eunhyuk and he stood there blankly, with a cup of water in his hands. The same look across his face.

"Uh…"

"What are you doing Leeteuk?" Eunhyuk snapped, eyes narrowed.

Leeteuk turned towards him and gave him a confused look. "Since when did you decide you were going to talk to me?"

"Answer the question." Eunhyuk snapped.

Leeteuk sighed and walked up to Eunhyuk. "What is your problem?"

Eunhyuk scoffed and rolled his eyes. "You're asking me that? Really?"

"Yes, I am."

"My problem is you!" Eunhyuk spit through clenched teeth. He pushed Leeteuk in the chest with his free hand and shook his head with disgust. "You get everything you want. Your daddy's favorite son. And what am I? The second best? The one that has to stand behind the sidelines while you make the goal. The benchwarmer, the backup? What is it that I lack that you have? Huh?" Eunhyuk started pacing towards Leeteuk, making his older brother shudder from the dark hatred lingering in his eyes.

"You have this house, this job, the money and the love of my life. What else could you ask for? Would you like my life too? Woul-would that make you feel better?" Eunhyuk pouted. "To take away everything I've ever wanted." Eunhyuk gulped and took a step back. "Or is the fact that you hate me? The second brother that, seriously, just wanted to be happy. The one that just wanted to blend in and fall in love but no, my brother decided to ruin that for me."

"Stop it!" Leeteuk said, pushing his brother aside.

"No!"

"You don't get it Eunhyuk, do you?" Leeteuk cried. He was not quite sure why he was crying, or why he suddenly felt like falling onto the ground. Leeteuk just wanted those warm arms he had grown to love around him. But something, or rather someone, was in the way of his escape. "I did all this for you! So you could live that happy life that I wasn't able to have."

"What?"

"I have lived through this hell that you call a life. I stay up for hours working, on work and school. I do everything dad tells me to do because I don't want my brother to be put into a tough situation." Leeteuk coughed. "I didn't do this to ruin your life Eunhyuk. I did it because I love my brother."

Eunhyuk just stood there with wide eyes. They started to shiver when he stepped back into the shadow of the moonlight. "I didn't ask you too."

"But I did it anyways." Leeteuk sighed. "Now, if you don't mind. I have to go find the person I love," Leeteuk said.

"Y-you love someone?" Eunhyuk whispered.

"Yeah, I do," Leeteuk replied "W-what are you going to do?" Eunhyuk asked.

"Whatever it takes," Leeteuk said before he walked out of the house. He followed the wet path around the house until it reached the front and ran down the pathway. He was hoping no one would be at the gate and it seemed like his prayers were answered when he noticed none of them were there. Smiling, he typed in the code and rushed past the opening of the gate. His heart started to pound and his legs started to hurt from all the running but the more he ran and longer he did so, he felt better. He could not wait, even if he knew the consequences. Almost sliding around a corner and landing on his face, he finally stopped on the street. Some lights were still on and considering it was near ten, the store would be closing about now.

Taking in a deep breath, Leeteuk stepped into the view, dripping wet. He was shivering but when he looked into the light and saw Kangin, he suddenly did not feel so cold. It felt comforting to be looking at the one male that made him fall in love. He waited outside until the last customer left, still left in the rain. He was drenched, literally, from head to toe. His heart was racing still and he was afraid to walk in.

The last couple left and Leeteuk walked into the view, noticing Kangin whispering to his father. He pulled on the handle and let the sound jingle around the room while he closed it behind him.

"Sorry, but we're clos-" Kangin stopped when he looked up. His eyes grew wide and it transformed into a look of confusion. "What are you doing here?" He snapped.

His father started bickering behind the counter, asking who had walked in and caused Kangin to behave like a idiot.

"I wanted to see you," Leeteuk whispered, low enough for him to hear.

"Kangin! Let me see! You…idiot!" Kangin's father pushed past him and caught sight of Leeteuk. He smiled but then it faded when he took in Leeteuk. "Oh my," He whispered. "You're all wet!"

Leeteuk kept his eyes on Kangins, watching the male finally turn away. His father walked up to him with open arms but rethought his decision when he realized, once again, that Leeteuk was wet. Some of the water that hung on him was dripping onto the floor.

"What happened?"

"I walked here." Leeteuk forced a smile. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You don't need to be sorry." Kangin's father reassured. "Kangin!" He yelled.

"What?" Kangin droned.

"Take Leeteuk upstairs and get him a change of clothes. He'll catch a cold if he stays in these clothes."

"Good for him."

Kangin's father turned around and smacked his son right across the head, pointing for him to go, a glare in his eyes. "NOW!"

Kangin scoffed and started walking, Leeteuk following close behind. "Thank you!" Leeteuk bowed.

"I'll make you your favorite soup."

Leeteuk bowed once more and rushed after Kangin. They walked up the stairs and into the room, Kangin sliding the door open and dragging his feet into the room- as if he was walking to his death.

"Why are you here?" Kangin asked, not bothering the hospitable way of being polite.

"Like I said, I wanted to see you."

"Leave."

Leeteuk ignored his comment and sighed. "I'm cold."

"Then go home."

"No!" Leeteuk snapped.

"I don't want you here! Do you not see that?" Kangin's deep voice made Leeteuk's skin bubble with bumps, reminding him of all those nights they had spent together. The sensation, the softness, the murmurs, kisses, and hands. It was starting to make Leeteuk's skin burn with wanting while he watched Kangin with curious eyes. Kangin did not look shaken, more confident than that really. Kangin was just, really good at hiding his feelings. One thing Leeteuk hated about him, he was hard to read.

"But I want to be here, do you not see that?" Leeteuk took steps closer to Kangin and reached out, suddenly pulling his hand back towards his chest when Kangin spit and walked past him.

"I don't like liars in my house."

Leeteuk knew that part was true. That he had lied to win Kangin's heart but it was all for good reasons. "I'm sorry."

"No use apologizing. It's not going to help."

Leeteuk sighed, clutching the straps of his bag close to his chest, in hopes the stress would just shed off of him and onto the straps. He thought the conversation had ended but when Kangin looked at him, scoffed for the umpteenth time and paced his steps, the topic was starting once again.

"I loved you. I loved you with all my heart and it didn't matter to me that you were a guy. I could have cared less for that part because I believe love is love. That whoever you may love is just as great but Leeteuk, you lied. I don't like being lied to! You are a liar and a fake and I don't want anything to do with you!" Kangin pointed at him, a twist of disgust across his face. "You were rich? This whole time? And you were dating someone else?"

Leeteuk shook his head fiercely. "No," he whispered. "It was arranged. I had no say in anything."

"Really? Do you want to marry him?" Kangin asked.

"No."

"Why not? He's handsome. He has money, like you do. One thing you have in common. You have nice houses, another. And you both have the jobs everyone would want, would die for. So, what is it you don't like about him?"

"I don't love him."

"And why is that?"

"Because…he's not you," Leeteuk said.

Kangin froze and felt his heart jump a little.

"He doesn't love me in the morning. He doesn't make me my favorite soup the way I like it. He doesn't let me wear his clothes." Not that Leeteuk has tried. "He, sadly, knows how to fight when in reality, I like saving you." Leeteuk smiled at the memory.

"I like how you protect me even if I don't need it. I like how you can seduce me with your simple words while I fumble and turn embarrassed. You made our love so boastful and known to the whole world that I didn't mind the stares. I didn't mind you holding me in public. I can't love someone when they're not the original." Leeteuk shivered from the cold. "And besides, my brother loves him and he loves my brother."

Kangin just turned around and walked into another room, leaving Leeteuk alone. Within seconds he came back with clothes and tossed them towards his direction. "They might be a little big but I'm sure you don't mind." He mumbled.

Leeteuk unfolded the shirt and smiled, inhaling Kangin's familiar scent. "I don't mind one bit." Leeteuk walked towards the bathroom and flipped up the light.

"Just…take a shower," Kangin said, walking out of the room.

Leeteuk smiled and closed the door behind him. "I missed you," he whispered to himself, placing the clothes on the counter, shedding the heavy wet ones onto the floor. They flopped onto the tile and made a squishy sound. Leeteuk turned on the water and waited for it to warm, hugging himself close. His hair was drying and it was starting to curl all over the place, the way he did not like it. Luckily, the water warmed and Leeteuk was able to hop into the shower, giving a little moan at how amazing it felt. He must have stood there for a couple of minutes just soaking up the warm water until he actually decided to wash himself. Using the soap Kangin would use so he would smell like him later.

He hopped out and dried himself off, throwing the clothes on top of him. Somehow, it felt like home. Such a familiar place and all he wanted was to just stay here for the rest of his life. When he was finished he had walked out and into the living room, noticing Kangin setting bowls onto the table. And even though Kangin wanted nothing to do with Leeteuk at the moment, he would at least try harder.

Kangin was all he ever wanted, ever since they first met.

"Is that-?" Leeteuk asked, pointing towards the bowl.

"Yeah."

"Oh." Leeteuk scrambled over to the table and patted his hair down, afraid of the flyaway's. He watched Kangin pull out his chopsticks and pick up the noodles with them, stuffing them into his mouth without another word.

"Thanks," Leeteuk said.

Kangin just nodded and wiped his mouth, not bothering to look Leeteuk in the face. They ate in silence, more like Leeteuk watched Kangin eat in silence. He noticed some differences from the last time he had seen him. Kangin's hair had grown out, the ends flipping at the end while the bang flipped over his brow. His skin was different, in a way it lacked the brightness it had when they were together. Leeteuk frowned; it also seemed like Kangin had lost weight.

Leeteuk sighed and pushed his bowl forward. "Eat," he whispered.

Kangin looked up with confusion all over his face. "What?"

Leeteuk pointed at the bowl and tried a smile. "Eat it."

"Why?"

"Because, I'm not hungry."

"But my dad made it for you. It would only seem like the nice thing to just eat it. It's not going to kill you."

"I know, but I can always come back for more."

"Nope," Kangin said. "Eat up because this is your last."

Leeteuk grimaced and sighed, once again. "What is wrong with you?"

"You."

"I said I was sorry Kangin! What else do you want me to do?" Leeteuk begged.

Kangin dropped his chopsticks and looked Leeteuk right in the eyes, clasping his hands together. "Don't marry him. Do that and I will forgive you."

Leeteuk said "Done" before Kangin even had the chance to blink.

"Really?" Kangin smirked. "You're willing to give up everything that fast just to be with me. Kangin, the poor shop boy with no money of sorts and most likely going to take over his fathers shop. You want to marry someone like that? A person with no chance at a future at all?"

"No." Leeteuk shook his head. "I want to marry Kangin. The Kangin I love."

"And who is that?" Kangin asked.

"The person that's sitting right in front of me. The one person I love with all my heart and that will never change."

Kangin clucked his tongue and went back to eating, leaving Leeteuk to soak in his own confidence. Leeteuk really had the urge to smack Kangin in the face but he suppressed it. If it would hurt Kangin, then it would hurt himself. Through the tough and the broken, he would stay by Kangin's side. After this, there was no way he was going to go back home. He wanted to stay and he was going to. Kangin had no say.

"Are you done?" Kangin asked.

"Yes."

Kangin stood up, taking the two bowls and placing them in the kitchen, breathing deeply and trying to keep everything inside of him that buzzed with intense heat on the down low. It did not seem to help considering he was being reminded of Leeteuk every time. How much he wanted to give in but what Leeteuk did to him broke him. He wanted to love him, have his body for his own but it was difficult.

That was when Kangin felt something press against his back. He froze as his breath hitched.

"Don't move," Leeteuk whispered while he pressed his ear against his back, listening to the faint sound his heartbeat and smiling at how fast it seemed to be going; unless he was imagining things. Leeteuk wrapped his arms around Kangin and hugged him closer. He hummed and snuggled his head on the male's back.

Kangin wanted him to let go. If Leeteuk was going to hold on any longer, he was going to break, give in. He wanted Leeteuk so bad and he missed him so much that those tears that he found so unfamiliar were becoming a regular thing. Tears just randomly falling out of his eyes while he ate lunch, remembering Leeteuk was not there and he was going to have to eat alone. Or when he would walk out of school and just wait for no reason to then realize Leeteuk was not coming. It was troublesome and it was hard adjusting to everything without him, and just when he had gotten into the hang of things, Leeteuk decides to come back to ruin it all.

"Let go." Kangin tries to shrug him off.

"Why?"

"Just…let go!" Kangin spun around and slightly pushed Leeteuk back. When you looked into Leeteuks eyes you could see the faint growth of tears forming on the corners of his eyes. Leeteuk's chest dropped and his hands clenched. If they were going to fight, Kangin would lose. But that was not what had happened.

Kangin gave in when he looked at Leeteuk. He was submersed into it and took Leeteuk by the face, crushing his lips against his. It felt good, it felt right and it felt like love. Although Leeteuk groaned from how hard Kangin was being, he wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him even tighter, molding his body into his. Feeling Kangin move aggressively against his, his breath mingling with his own while Kangin's hands ventured towards Leeteuk's pants.

"You-your father." Leeteuk breathed when Kangin pulled away.

"I made him leave."

Leeteuk nodded, it was all it took before he pressed his lips against Kangin's again and it was not going to be for the last time. Because Kangin would always be Leeteuk's and Leeteuk would always be Kangin's. In mind, body and soul.

No matter what happened.