Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Thanks to Jax713 for pre-reading and to mcc101180 for beta-ing.
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Happy Hour: a pathetic excuse for the people in this building to interact. It doesn't last one hour, and happy wouldn't exactly be my choice of adjective to describe it either. The term makes no sense, but at least there's beer— free beer.
Emmett and Rosalie are not here yet, so I'm in the corner, chugging from that red cup like there's no tomorrow. When they finally arrive, I've downed four of those suckers.
"You're here before us. That's weird," Rosalie says as they approach me.
"Thank you for the observation, Captain Obvious."
"What's his problem?" Rosalie asks Emmett, bitchfacing me.
"He's in a mood." Emmett hands me another red cup, which I start chugging immediately.
"Why?" Rosalie's tone is whiny, like I'm annoying her. Well, she can fucking leave for all I care.
"Lady problems," Emmett responds before I can stop him.
"Edward has lady problems?" Rosalie arches her eyebrows at him in disbelief.
"I'm standing right here!" My voice is louder than I meant it to be, but I'm fucking pissed. They always do this. They talk about me as if I'm not around— I hate it.
"So you like a girl, Edward. That's hardly the end of the world. I mean, this self-imposed celibacy was bound to end someday. I just wish I knew who she is, and what she has that my friends don't." Of course Rosalie would make this about herself… or her friends.
"It's not just a girl. It's his undergrad," Emmett announces, unable to keep anything to himself.
"You old perv!" Rosalie smiles, smacking me on my chest.
"I'm going to get fired." I tip my cup back for the last drops of free beer.
"No, you won't, you drama queen." Rosalie waves her hand dismissively at me. "It happens all the time! PIs hit on post docs, post docs on graduate students, grads on undergrads. What world do you live in?"
"It's like a jungle." Emmett chuckles.
"Shut up, Emmett," Rosalie snaps. "Good news is, now that there's this girl, you can stop with the emo bitterness. It's really getting old."
"Fuck you, Rose."
"Hey, hey now," Emmett intercedes and grabs my arm. "Let's go get another round."
When we come back, I'm still pissed at Rosalie. I've been planning my witty comeback since we walked away from the table. However, standing upright is taking most of my concentration, so my comeback isn't as effective as I'd hoped.
"For your information, Rosalie, this girl has a name. Her name is Becca. Shit. No, it...it's Bella! Dammit!" The heel of my hand connects with my forehead with a smack.
"She must be something special, Edward. You don't even know her name."
"Baby, stop. He's drunk, and he's had a shitty day."
"Why?"
"'Cause Bella is out with James," Emmett explains.
"Douchewand?" Rosalie sounds surprised, and they resume their conversation about me, as if I'm not here.
I stop listening and groan into my cup as I chug it down.
It's true though. I know it. James is with Bella tonight. That's the only possible explanation why he's missing happy hour for the first time since our first year. He is probably taking her to dinner and then drinks. Maybe she gets tipsy, and he holds her hand to steady her. He'll kiss her before she gets out of the car. I just know it. Maybe she invites him in, to her apartment. No, she wouldn't. Would she? He totally would sleep with her if she lets him.
God, I'm getting nauseated just thinking about it.
Out of all the undergrads in the department, fucking James Douchewand had to go after mine!
I hope Bella gets drunk and pukes all over him.
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A/N: Oh, Drunk Bitterward... he's fun to write. :)
PI: Principal Investigator of the lab, aka the boss.
Post-doc: PhD graduate doing post doctoral research before he/she apply for a faculty position.
More tomorrow!
Not to guilt trip you or anything, but if you read and don't click the blue button, the poor little thing feels left out... like it's not meeting its life purpose. Now, you don't want to make LittleBlueButton sad, do you?