DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN TRC
Sorry about the wait guys, but with school and everything else started this will probably become my regular pace. This semester promises to be hell. :S
For those of you interested, I posted some drawings I did of Aisha. Nothing's amazing; I just do it for fun. And the pencil's sill pale, unfortunately. Here's the link to the album:
.com/albums/xx272/Lydiastone/CCI09232010_
Enjoy this chapter!
XxX
I let my fingers brush against the binding of hundreds of book as we stroll through the library, trying to act nonchalant. But in truth Mokona, perched on Syaoran's head, is guiding us towards Sakura's feather.
"I don't see any interesting books, how about you?" Fai asks, dramatically turning his head from side to side. All the shelves look the same here. It must be easy to get lost in this sea of books.
"Me… me neither," Sakura says, visibly more nervous than the mage. Kurogane looks away, scowling.
"You're obviously lying," he says sternly. Fai turns to face him, pointing to his exaggerated smile.
"Do I look like I'm lying?" he asks innocently.
"It's written all over your face," the ninja grunts.
"But I'm smiling from ear to ear!" the mage protests, making his mouth stretch wider to prove his point.
"You're too happy," I chip in. I agree with Kurogane; it's obvious that he's lying. Suddenly, he grabs the ninja's cheeks and starts forcefully stretching them into a smile.
"You too, Kuro-tan, give a smile, give a smile-" he sings. My eyes widen as I imagine the tortures running through Kurogane's head. But I can't help but join in.
"Yes, smile like you did yesterday!" I say. I hear the ninja mumble something that sounds comically like 'smirk', and can't stop myself from doing just that. Fai is still singing, not seeing his death approaching. I have to stop smiling when it's obvious Kurogane's fury will be real.
"You wouldn't want to look suspicious!" Fai tells the ninja. All we can do is stare in horror and peer in closer to see Kurogane's face. His mouth is contorted into a straight line, his eyes glaring, several veins throbbing on his forehead. Slowly, his face is turning red. "Wah…! You do look like your lying!" Fai exclaims joyfully. His face still caught in Fai's forced grimace, Kurogane holds a hand towards us.
"White manjuu, hand me my sword," he growls menacingly. I start fearing for Fai, but I'm mostly annoyed that our cover could be so easily blown by an idiot.
"You can't, silly," Fai says, still smiling, "if you carry your sword openly they'll kick us out." He finally lets go of the ninja's face.
"THEN WHY ARE YOU MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!" Kurogane roars, and before I know it my hand is shooting sideways and twisting the ninja's ear mercilessly.
"Right now, you're the one making noise," I remind him. "And if you dare blow our covers, I won't be so kind." At this point, if they find out we're trying to steal the book, we'll be arrested like criminals and thrown in jail. They might even send the watchdogs after us. Someone might get hurt. And, make no mistake, I like Kurogane and I feel bad for him, but if he brings any of this on us, I will be pissed. It's like I'm the only one who realizes there is actual danger associated with what we are about to do. I have the feeling that the watchdogs aren't the only things guarding this place. I finally let go of the ninja's ear. He sends me a puzzled glance, but seems to understand.
"But," Sakura says, worried, "is it okay to be here while the library's open?"
"They'll have increased security measures at night," Syaoran explains, "and we won't attract much attention while the library is open."
"If they catch us here at night, no matter our excuse, they'll throw us in jail for sure," I add.
"And if we go somewhere we're not supposed to go, we can just say that we got lost, or something like that," Fai says, looking in all the world like this is the most amusing thing in the world. Then he grabs my hand and starts dragging me along. I protest vehemently, but he manages to get himself heard over my voice. "See, if we just walk along like this-" he pulls me closer - "we're not suspicious at all, isn't that right, honey?"
"I'm not… Let me go or I scream!" I threaten. He just smiles.
"Now, now, we don't scream in a library, love," he teases, not letting go of me.
"Help!" I whisper to the others as Fai drags me away. They just follow us, with expression ranging from amused to shocked.
"Turn right," I hear Mokona say.
"Okay," Syaoran answers, and I hear his footsteps disappearing. Fai and I have to go back in order to take the same passage the others have disappeared into. I glare periodically at the mage, who either ignores me or answers me with an amused smile.
"Next, turn left." That's what Syaoran does, and we follow.
"Kuro-sama," I call, suddenly nervous. I can hear by Mokona's voice that we are getting close. The ninja turns his head to look at me. "I'm not limping anymore, am I?"
Kurogane looks at Fai, clearly signaling him to let go. I sigh in relief as he does. I take a few steps in the ninja's direction, and he nods satisfactorily.
"I can't see it," he tells me, and I nod with a smile.
"Good," I say. "Because you never know, we may have to run." He observes me critically.
"If we do, don't fall behind," he grunts, then turns away. I smile. For Kurogane, that's equivalent to telling me to be careful. I've learnt that over time.
I'm nervous. It's not that I'm feeling guilty – I knew that when we'd grab the book it would be thievery one way or another. From my point of view, we're taking back what was Sakura's to begin with. But I'm scared of what could happen if we fail. I shake my head. No, we're not going to fail. I think again of the watchdog's burning yellow eyes and bite my lip. I won't let them hurt us.
"Stop." I look to the wall in front of us. "Yeah," the fur-ball continues, "the feeling is definitely stronger here." I see his eyes open, but I still don't understand how the feather can lead us here.
"This is a dead end," I say cautiously, not wanting to hurt Mokona.
"There's nothing here," Kurogane adds, looking around.
"But I feel it here," Mokona insists. I sigh. There is magic energy coming from the wall, maybe a little more than usual, but in a place like Recort it's hard to tell if it means anything. There's so much magic here, coming from everywhere.
"Here, I'll try," Fai offers, walking over to the wall and running his hand against it. I remember Koryo, in which he did almost the same thing. That was the time he called me a witch for the first time. That was my first realization that I had magic powers.
The mage's hand runs over the rock wall, then onto the bookshelf directly to its right. "Ah," he says, interest piercing through his voice.
"What is it?" I ask. He turns to me with a teasing smile.
"What do you think?" he replies, stepping to the side. Frowning in concentration I approach the bookshelf, silently thinking that this is no time for a lesson. But I don't argue, because I'm curious. At first I only touch the wall with my fingertips, but soon my palm is laying flat against it. There's magic here, but it's hard to tell what it does. Then, remembering Fai's movement, I run my hand over to the bookshelf. To my surprise, it doesn't feel like I've changed surfaces. Not magically, I mean. I dig my fingers in the corner between the stone and the dark wood of the shelf.
"They're… linked?" I say, unsure of how to describe it. Upon further inspection, the magic presence does feel different on both surfaces, but it's almost as thought they're stitched together. "The wall and the bookshelf. Like stitching," I explain, under everyone's puzzled glance. Only Fai smiles like he understands what I mean. I think I see a bit of pride in his eyes.
"Good," he congratulates me, then turns to the others. "It's a magic barrier," he explains. I still don't see what that has to do with the wall and bookshelf being linked, but I shut up. Knowing Fai, he'll explain it sooner or later. "Kuro-chii, move the bookshelf over that way," he invites the ninja, mimicking the action of the shelf pivoting on its axis.
"Why me?" the ninja replies gruffly.
"Please Daddy!" Mokona squeals in Fai's voice. Then he turns and takes on Kurogane's curt tone. "Well, if it's what Mommy wants, then there's no need for consideration…" The men's reactions are opposites; where Fai smiles dumbly, Kurogane glares at the fur-ball, and several veins start throbbing. His fists clench and unclench, as though he's deciding whether or not to hurt Mokona. Fai laughs.
"Here, why not vent your anger on this bookshelf…" he offers again. This time, Kurogane doesn't need any prompting.
"Bastard!" he yells, punching his open palm with a menacing thump, then pushes against the bookshelf with all of his pent-up frustration. In no time, the shelf has shifted a good six or seven feet. I stare, impressed at his strength. But the sense of slow dissolving turns my attention back to the wall. The space between our bookshelf and the adjacent one has melted away to show the entrance to a subterranean cave. I don't understand; the wall seemed perfectly solid when I touched it…
"The bookshelves in this corridor formed part of a magical shield," Fai explains matter-of-factly. "When we moved the bookshelf, the spell was broken, and what lay beyond the barrier was then revealed." Which explains the stitching between the wall and bookshelf.
"That's unbelievable!" Sakura exclaims, impressed. The mage shrugs.
"It's very easy to understand if you've followed a bit of magical theory," he says modestly, smiling. It's that smile more than his words that convince me he's lying. I guess it all depends on your definitions of 'very easy' and 'a bit' – but, as far as I'm concerned, I know 'a bit' of magical theory and I wouldn't have been able to figure that out in years. Plus, he's wearing that smile. The one that's so fake I want to hit him.
Kurogane's noticed it too. I can tell by the way he looks at Fai.
"It's hard to admit it's that easy," I comment, looking curiously at the gap that now stretches between the wall and shelf. Until now, magic had always seemed confusing and elusive. Fai nods.
"It's that easy," he confirms. Then his expression turns serious and he looks away, body tensing like a dog on a trail. "But I'm afraid that the watchdogs may be able to sense that it's been tampered with and pursue us." Syaoran looks to Mokona for confirmation.
"Yeah," the fur-ball nods. "Sakura's feather's in there." I look once again to the cave gaping in the wall. There doesn't seem to be any light inside the cave; the only lighting is the one pouring in from the library. Large shards of rock protrude from the ground and hang from the ceiling, giving me the impression of teeth - an open mouth waiting to swallow us. I see that the ground is distinctly following a soft slope downwards. I gulp. Shit. We're really going underground.
The others hurry to file into the cave, but I hesitate, one foot inside and the other one out. I know it's foolish; things aren't more dangerous because they're underground. But I can almost feel the pressure on my chest already, as I finally take a deep breath and follow. The ninja turns around and stops, waiting for me. I give him a small smile as I reach him, thankful. He lets me go before him and then closes the march. Syaoran is leading. I don't know if anyone can sense my nervousness, but I'm not about to make it obvious by falling behind. So I'm grateful for Kurogane's presence behind me, stopping me if the thoughts of slowing down or going back become overwhelming.
The more we move forward, the heavier the air. Soon we turn, and lose the light from the library. It's so dark I can barely make out the shapes of the others in front of me. But then natural stone gives its place to smooth gray granite, and the walls become bordered by long, slithering dragon statues mirroring the ones in the atrium. Behind each dragon is an alcove, and from each alcove emanates a soft green light. I can now see the others, but the only sound is the one of our footsteps on the stone and our breathing in the damp air. The weight on my chest is still there, real this time, and every muscle in my body is tensing uneasily. The walls don't close around me; I don't feel like I'm choking. But I'm not comfortable here. I have the feeling that something should've happened by now.
"For something that is supposed to be such a precious treasure, the entrance doesn't seem to have too many watch-beasts," Kurogane comments, voicing my thoughts. Fai laughs knowingly.
"I don't think that's the case," he says lightly. That's when I hear it; the soft cracking of rock, all around us. I look, and there they are. The dragon statues, slowly moving from their positions in the alcoves, their eyes now burning yellow. "Look, they're coming," the mage continues with a smirk, and now everyone sees it. Ripping themselves violently from the walls, the dragons dive on us, swirling like snakes. They don't attack right away, preferring to herd us into a circle first, cutting us off both from going forward and running back. Their eyes seem to be burning into my very soul, but I don't let that distract me. They must be designed to scare people off.
"Hime, please step back," Syaoran orders, shielding her with one arm. His eyes won't budge from the creatures around us.
"O-okay," she stammers as Mokona jumps into her arms. Kurogane is already in a fighting stance, as though inviting them to come any closer. I also widen my stance and take a deep breath. I lock gazes with one of the dragons. It hisses menacingly, and then they all dive.
I lift my skirts and aim for the space between its eyes. When my foot connects I hear a crash, and a crater appears where my foot used to be. So the rock is soft… The dragon hisses, but I don't give it time to retaliate; my arm is already pounding against its neck, furiously, until it breaks off. I back away for a breath, and notice that both Syaoran and Kurogane are invested in their own battles. Sakura and Fai stand safely in the middle, looking on. It's because they're under the impression that they're safe that Fai doesn't notice the dragon swerving past an overwhelmed Kurogane towards them. My heart doesn't have the time to start pounding. I jump.
"Syaoran-kun, that's so cool!" the mage chants as I land directly on the dragon that was threatening him, completely oblivious. "Hyuu!" The beast jerks, sending me crashing to the ground. I roll to my feet and viciously sandwich its neck between my elbow and knee. Now my heart is pounding fast. There's no way I'm loosing Fai to any demonic creature. Not again.
"Hey, didn't that sound like a whistle?" the mage exclaims with a huge smile, turning around to face Kurogane and me. "Kuro-tan, Pinky-chan, listen!"
"Shut up!" I yell, kicking a beast away. I'm angry with him. For letting that monster even remotely close to him and Sakura. For putting his life in danger without fighting back. For making me do all the work.
"Shouldn't you be helping out?" Kurogane replies, using his elbow to dig a hole in one of the dragon's necks. Fai turns away, frowning, determinedly practicing his whistle.
"Hyuu! Oh, you three look like you have it under control," he says lighting. "Hyuu! Hyuu!" There doesn't seem to be any end to it. And now more dragons are joining the others.
I finally back away, panting. The rock may be soft but I still feel bruises forming all over my body from hitting it. I know that we won't be able to hang on much longer, and the dragon supply won't dry out. I don't think that they'd kill us; they'd want the thieves alive, if anything. But being caught is not an option.
Sensing our fatigue, the creatures pull back. They loom around us, their yellow eyes gleaming in the darkness. My suspicions are confirmed; they don't want to hurt us, if possible. Their goal is only to stop us so that the authorities can pick us up when the alert has been given.
"Wah! Seems like we're trapped!" Fai exclaims naively, like this isn't a potential disaster. My eyes are desperately searching for a weak point, an escape from this situation, until I realize that all the dragons seem to be floating in the air. Nothing blocks the ground. If we're fast enough…
"Run!" I suddenly scream, pushing Syaoran and Sakura in the right direction. My hand finds Kurogane's coat and I pull. "Run, run, run, RUN!" There's only a millisecond of confusion, and then everybody understands. We dash under the creatures, running as though much more than our lives depended on it.
"Well, it seems like running is faster than engaging the enemy," Fai comments, ducking under a stone dragon. I pretend not to hear the sickening crash of stone against stone as they chase after us, crashing into walls and each other to reach us. I lift my skirts with both hands and try to stretch my lungs to accommodate more air. I'm running.
Although I was the last to leave, I soon find myself dashing past Kurogane and Fai, pushing Sakura along because, despite being dragged by Syaoran, I don't think she's going fast enough. Under our feet the granite once again turns to bumpy, unequal stone. I see a light in front of us and run for it.
"Mokona!" Syaoran yells, seeing it too.
"Sakura's feather is getting closer!" Mokona answers, fear in his voice. What I thought was light coming from a room turns out to be an entity of its own. A bright, shimmering wall of light. It seems almost liquid, and I have no doubt that we'll be able to pass right through it. Over the shuffle of feet rises the mad hisses of the stone creatures, too close to my liking. I speed up, glancing over my shoulder to Fai and Kurogane. They're still out of range of the dragons, for which I am grateful.
The light gets brighter as it gets closer, and we run into it without having the time to think. Between a strange light and sharp teeth, I'd pick the light any day.
It tickles a bit when we pass through the light, and for a second I can't see a thing but white. But all the hisses have vanished, which means that the dragons can't follow us in here. Then the light dims a bit, and I look down at my feet in surprise. I'm standing on sand. My eyes search frantically, but my worries are unfounded. Everyone is here. I look back; only dunes of sand, as far as the eye can see. Only a small ripple in the air breaks the desert scenery. Probably the portal we just went through. I barely have the time to wonder how in the world we went from a subterranean cave to the middle of a desert, when I hear Syaoran gasp.
"The ruins of Clow country?" he exclaims in disbelief. I turn around to see two huge towers of stone the colour of sand. They taper at the top, and look vaguely like wings. One of the bricks forming them seems to be ten times my size. I look up to them, my breath still short from the cave. There's something odd about those towers, if only the fact that I have trouble believing they're man-made; magic seeps through the stone, clearly claiming them as its own. And then there's the fact that, despite the bright, cloudless sky above us, the weight on my chest hasn't withdrawn.
"Clow is the country Sakura and Syaoran came from, right?" Mokona asks from Fai's shoulder.
"Yes…" Sakura answers, looking up in disbelief to the towers. Syaoran frowns, visibly trying to understand this.
"Have we… come back to Clow country?" he asks in a whisper. I shake my head. The feeling from the light was nothing like the strange, uplifting feeling from Mokona's transport spells. And my body whispers to me that we are still underground.
"Mokona didn't transport us," the fur-ball confirms, shaking his head. Suddenly, Fai's voice rings from behind me.
"This is a memory," he says calmly, looking down to the sand at his feet. Strangely, his face is devoid of all smile. "A memory inside the Book of Memories. The book is causing it to appear with the power of Sakura-chan's feather. It's also able to set traps to protect the book using Sakura-chan's memories…" His face, his tone of voice… it all seems so strange. So… unlike him. He feels so far away. I have to say something to bring him back here.
"Wow, Fai, that's so great!" Mokona exclaims, cutting me off. "You figured it all out!" The mage's head snaps back up, and he smiles feebly. I sigh. At least I can thank Mokona for snapping him out of his seriousness.
"It's another type of magic," the mage explains. "If you learn a bit of theory, you could do that just like me." I frown at his strange emphasis on the word 'theory.' He did it back at the wall, too. But if it's only theory, then what he says makes no sense.
"Humm…" I start, debating whether or not to attack the subject. One glance to Fai convinces me that it's not worth it. Not to see him fall far away again. "So, let's go check those ruins out, huh?" I offer. Syaoran is already making his way there, trudging on the sand. Sakura follows him eagerly, Mokona on their heels. A soft cloud of sand rises behind them. Nobody else moves. Then I look back at Fai, and remember that I'm angry.
I slap him upside the head. "Watch out next time, will you!" I hiss. "I had to save your neck out there!" Fai looks back at me with puzzled eyes, rubbing the back of his head painfully.
"Ow?" he asks.
"One of those things nearly has you, and you're standing there like an idiot playing cheerleader! So of course I had to save your ass! And you don't even notice!" I exclaim, glaring at him. He just smiles dumbly. I want to slap that smile off of his face.
"Really? Well, good thing you were there, wasn't it sweetie?" he says lightly, like he doesn't really care. My whole body stiffens. My fists clench until my knuckles turn white.
"I. Am. Not. Your. Sweetie!" I hiss. My eyes are pricking. "And you're an idiot!" I turn away and start marching heavily up the dune to the ruins. Really, what's his problem? I'm just trying to save his life, and he acts like I shouldn't have. I sigh, and my heart clenches painfully. He's an idiot. He's even more of an idiot because he's convinced that we can't see right through him. He thinks we don't know, that we don't even suspect. But we know he's a liar. He's just an idiot liar with a fake smile. I shouldn't care. So why do I feel the urge to look back?
I force myself to calm down when Kurogane joins me. I hear Fai's feet shuffle behind us, but a safe distance away.
"He said that sensing magic was using magic," I blurt out. Kurogane looks down to me. I look up. "He said that," I insist. He nods. We both know. He was there when Fai explained it all to me.
"He says I'm making too big a deal out of it," the ninja says gruffly, looking out to the ruins, and I know he's confronted the mage about it. I shake my head. Why is he constantly trying to hide everything he does? If he's going to use magic, is it so bad if we know? Or is it…? I look back to Fai, who waves brightly, ignoring the fact that I was obviously angry with him. I force myself to smile back, apologetically. Because I realize that I don't want to be angry with him. And because I know that he lies to himself more than he could ever lie to us.
Kurogane's followed my gaze. He lets out a big gulp of air. I sigh. We're going to let it go, and we both know it. For Fai's sake.
When we finally reach Syaoran and Sakura, they are observing the ruins from their country. Sakura is softly running a hand on the stone.
"So these really are like the ruins in Sakura's country?" Mokona asks curiously. The princess smiles.
"It looks like it," she answers. "There were a lot of people working to excavate the ruins, and they were all good people," she continues, caught in her memories. "But there was one, an archeology teacher who traveled to many different countries; he was an extremely kind person." Syaoran's face grows glum as she says this, and I wonder if she's talking about his father. Of course she wouldn't realize the connection now. I smile softly to the boy, who manages a small, joyless smile in return. Sakura continues her story joyfully. "I would go out to play in the ruins, but my brother would always scold me."
"It was probably dangerous because of the excavation," Fai suddenly appears behind us, smiling. She looks over to him.
"Yeah, that's true, but…" she looks back to the ruins, thoughtful, "why did I always want to go back?" The painful look on Syaoran's face confirms that she would spend those times at the ruins with him. I want to hug him, but I know that to do so now would only embarrass him.
"Let's go further," I say instead, leading the way through the gaping doorway near us. Everyone hesitates and I have to turn around to look at them. "What? We're still here to find the book, aren't we?" They all look at each other, eyes a little wide, as though they had actually forgotten. Then they follow me inside.
The corridors are carved in a winding pattern, going from narrow to wide in the space of a few steps, and then going back to narrow again. I stay carefully in the middle, remembering that this is probably a trap set up by the book itself to ward off thieves. And now, the double weight of stone above me – both the ruins' heavy presence and the ceiling of the real-life cave I know is hiding up there - makes me even more nervous.
"It feels like the ruins emit an incredible energy," Mokona comments. "And the path is so long…!" I grimace. It's a good thing we'll just get transported out of here by Mokona, because running back all the way to the hidden doorway, with the alarms sounding all over the library, doesn't sound too appealing to me. I let Syaoran and Sakura lead the way now, knowing they must know this place much better than I do.
Finally, we stumble upon something that looks like a log, cut in half and turned so as to let its pale center soak the light. It's huge; it nearly towers above Sakura.
"This bench-like thing is huge!" Mokona comments, jumping on it from Fai's head. I notice something shiny on the bench, and tentatively pick it up. I turn it over in my palm, where it fits comfortably. It looks like some sort of sundial, made of light wood circled in bronze. I frown, wondering what it could be doing here.
"It looks like a clock," Fai says, peering over my shoulder. "But it's so small, huh?" I shrug. I have no idea how big a sundial is supposed to be. "Because we're in Sakura-chan's memory, maybe the things emphasized are those who made a strong impression on her," the mage adds, turning over to Sakura to see if she recognizes the small clock. She looks at it for a moment, perplexed, then shakes her head. I turn to Syaoran, but something in his eyes stops me from asking outright; he recognized the sundial. And now he's looking at Sakura with a mix of surprise and hurt, his eyes wide and questioning.
"Let's go, Sakura!" Mokona exclaims suddenly, jumping into the princess's hands. She catches him by reflex, taken aback by the unexpected gesture.
"Ah, okay!" she answers. Now she's leading the way, Fai close behind. Syaoran stays back only seconds, then rushes back to Sakura's side. I look again to the sundial resting in my palm, and wonder why it made such an impression on Sakura. Judging by Syaoran's reaction, it had something to do with him.
I carefully place the small dial on the wooden bench and turn to the others. I won't ask. Walking into someone's memory without intending to is one thing. Asking questions is another.
We follow Syaoran and Mokona through the corridor and down a flight of stairs. Controlling my breathing is now a challenge of all instants, but at least it distracts me from thinking about how deep in the earth's entrails we must be by now. I focus on simply putting one foot in front of the other, then breathing in. Put the next foot forward, breathe out. Stay straight. Don't stumble. Things are not more dangerous because they're underground.
"I can feel the surge of power from the feather down here," Mokona announces as I finally see an end to the long stairway. Another sigh of relief. At least now we'll stop going deeper in. I don't think I've ever been so far under the earth.
We walk into a huge circular room, the walls all in sand-coloured stone, the floor marked with a large circle, in which is shown an intricate design of wings. But no sooner have I seen this that the earth begins to shake. Magic forces swirl all around us, convincing me that this is not natural. Rubbles rain on us from the distant ceiling and a light pours in from the circle on the floor. Syaoran pushes Sakura back.
"What?" Mokona shrieks, hiding in Fai's neck. The wings split apart, and the part of the floor where the design stood now glides open like a door, revealing a black hole. Slowly, the rumble comes to an end, and the ground stops shaking. We all stare at it for a moment.
"It's pitch dark, isn't it?" Fai comments lightly, leaning over. Where the door was a gaping mouth, this is the stomach ready to swallow us. I can feel something waiting for us there; not threatening, exactly, but waiting. Ominously. "Do you remember where this leads?" Fai asks Sakura, who shakes her head slowly. Her wide green eyes are glued to the invisible bottom of the hole, visibly worried.
"No," she says softly.
"But I can feel the power of Sakura's feather coming from that place," Mokona says. I look down once more. Going even deeper in the bowels of the earth doesn't seem like a very good idea, but that's where the feather is. So we'll go.
As though confirming my thoughts, Syaoran steps determinedly to the edge of the hole, so close that for a moment I'm afraid he'll fall in.
"Syaoran-kun!" Sakura yells, probably thinking the same thing. But the boy doesn't lose his balance.
"I'm going," he says strongly, squaring off his stance. The princess runs to him and grabs his arm.
"But you don't know what's in there!" she protests. "I'll go!"
"Please let me protect you, hime," Syaoran says, gently pushing her back. As he says this, his gaze flickers to me, and I nod. Our common promise flows between us like a current, linking us.
"But!" Sakura exclaims, refusing to let him go. Syaoran turns to her with a reassuring smile.
"I'll be the one to go," he says gently, but allowing no reply. There's a short silence.
"Why?" she finally asks, looking up to him with shiny eyes. "Why do you do so much to search for my feathers?" The look in the boy's eyes in this instant should have been answer enough. Because I love you, they scream. But I think I'm the only one who can hear them.
Gently, Syaoran pushes Sakura's hand away and looks down the hole. "Please take care of the princess," he tells us. Not surprisingly, Kurogane steps beside him. The boy looks to him curiously.
"The guy who has the sword with the bat design doesn't seem to be in this world," the ninja says gruffly, his first words since we've entered the ruins. "There's no use to being here. We'll get the feather back, so that white manjuu can take us to the next world." I smile. Totally selfish at first, the ninja's words can't quite hide the fact that he wants to do this. He's as much a part of this quest as any one of us.
"Kurogane-san…" Syaoran says, but Kurogane interrupts him.
"Let's go," he orders. Syaoran smiles thankfully.
"Yes!" They jump.
For a moment I think of letting them go without me. Just looking down that hole makes me want to be sick to my stomach. But, as their shapes disappear in the darkness, I find myself lunging after them and smile knowingly.
"Syaoran-kun! Kurogane-san!" Sakura screams, diving for the hole, but Fai's hand stops her.
"Tsk tsk. Both father and son are so troublesome, aren't they?" he says. I look to him with a grin.
"And why is the big sister never mentioned?" I ask, gathering my skirts around me to keep them from flaring up when I fall, and jumping into the darkness. Without looking down. Before I can stop myself. My hesitation seems pointless now. Of course my place is with them.
My fall seems to last forever, until I can't feel that I'm falling anymore. At first I can sense Syaoran and Kurogane's presence under me, but then Syaoran seems to disappear. My fear is only fleeting, as I realize that Kurogane is still there, still falling with me. Something seems to be keeping us back, at least temporarily. Then Kurogane's presence disappears as well. Can it be that the magic in this place is making us land separately? To make us more vulnerable to whatever lies below…
I don't have time to wonder what could be waiting for us, because my feet softly land on something dark. I look around. Everything is pitch black. Then, in a bright flash, the world appears.
Things are still black, but now I can see a huge watchdog, flames burning bright, towering in front of me. I instinctively widen my stance, but the creature doesn't even seem to have noticed me. Its attention is focused on something else.
"Syaoran!" I yell, panicked, recognizing the boy as he is flung to the side by the beast's paw.
"Kid!" I hear Kurogane's voice not far from me. The ninja doesn't seem to have been here much longer than me, as he's not already engaged in the fight. We both run towards Syaoran, and the ninja doesn't express any surprise in seeing me here. I guess he knew from the beginning that I wouldn't let them do anything dangerous without me.
Slowly, painfully, Syaoran starts to rise. He stands up on wobbly legs before we can reach him. His clothes are torn, and there's a cut on his cheek, but that's not what makes me gasp.
His eyes.
His eyes look like they've frozen over.
"Kid?" Kurogane's voice is uncertain now, and he stops. I slow down.
"Syaoran!" I call, looking into his eyes for any sign of him. He glances at me, and I shiver. He's looking at me like I'm a stranger. No, not a stranger. An insect. Something insignificant, unworthy of his attention. Slowly, his eyes turn back to the watchdog, which hasn't moved since he's sent Syaoran flying. His mission is only to protect the book, not to rip us to shreds. Deliberately, the boy that I no longer know wipes a trail of blood off his cheek and steps forward. He leaps, directly onto the watchdog's head, sending a violent kick on its muzzle, then twisting and landing another one on his cheek. Kurogane and I can only stand where we are, looking at him as he strings devastating attack upon devastating attack. I almost find myself pitying the watchdog. Such free violence is not like Syaoran.
But this isn't Syaoran anymore.
Finally, after a howl that sends shivers down my spine, the watchdog collapses. The boy bends down and picks up a book that I haven't noticed yet, but that I recognize immediately: the Book of Memories. Smashing the glass with his bare fist, he grabs the sparkling feather and lets the rest of the book fall negligently on the ground. Syaoran would never have done that. Kurogane finds the force to speak before I do.
"Who are you?" he asks, voicing my question. The energy is the same, but this is not Syaoran. Something's missing. I look to him again.
His eyes are so cold.
Not dead, but not quite alive.
Like ponds frozen over by winter.
The watchdog's body begins to dissolve, and a high-pitch buzz attacks our ears. The alarm. The black around us begins to move, to shift, until finally it bursts open, showing us more darkness. We are now in an unknown cave, the place we really were in while Sakura's feather was playing tricks on us. Fai and Sakura are standing right beside us, just as surprised as we are to find ourselves here. Mokona's eyes are wide open. After barely a second of bewilderment, Sakura jumps forward.
"Syaoran-kun!" she yells. I'm about to stop her, to tell her that this boy isn't Syaoran anymore, but I don't have to. Upon hearing his name, the boy twitches and gasps, and his eyes fly around the room before settling on Sakura. I sigh in relief. His eyes are back to normal.
"Sakura-hime!" he exclaims, looking down at the feather as though wondering why it's there, then quickly handing it to the princess. It slowly penetrates her chest, sending ripples of power around her, and she falls. Syaoran – because it's Syaoran now – catches her gently.
"Syaoran, you're hurt! You need treatment!" Mokona says, but Syaoran shakes his head.
"I'm fine, let's hurry and move on to the next world!" He doesn't seem to remember what happened down there. I still can't understand his transformation. From the look on Kurogane's face, he's just as confused as I am. We both look at Syaoran and I bite my lip. It's hard to describe the weight in my chest, if it's only the fact that we're underground or if it's something else, something much more potent. I'm scared. I'm scared of that other Syaoran. When he looked at me, he looked… like he would have killed me. That conviction overcomes me. If I had been in his way, he would have killed me without a second thought. Crushed me like an insect.
"Kuro-sama? Raki-chan?" Fai asks, his voice oddly serious. His eyes are scanning our faces for any sign as to the reason of our trouble, but I just shake my head. Not now. Maybe never. But especially not now, when the alarm is ringing louder with every second.
"Mokona, hurry," I say. "They'll be here soon." I don't have the energy to yell it out.
"Okay!" Mokona says, and two wings sprout out of his back. He opens his mouth wide, and I wait for the wind, but nothing happens. The fur-ball seems panicked. "Oh no!" he exclaims. "The magic isn't working!" Fai chuckles joylessly.
"We've stolen the book but we can't escape," he realizes out loud. "They must have used magic to block Mokona's dimension teleportation." I look from him to Mokona in surprise. I didn't even know that was… then I mentally slap myself. Of course it's possible to block magic. I'm living proof.
The fur-ball falls back to the ground, and I catch him. "Well then," I say, more calmly than I feel, "we're going to have to run." Without a word, Kurogane picks up Sakura and flings her over his shoulder like a sack. Still seeming a little lost, Syaoran nods.
"Yes!" he exclaims. I look at him one more time. Now is not the time to ask questions. It'll have to wait. But nobody is moving.
"Then go," I order, my voice gaining its usual strength. I look to everyone. We don't have time for this. "Go!" Either they realize I'm right in being impatient or they're too afraid to cross me, because at that very moment everyone animates. Tucking Mokona safely in the crook of my elbow, I run after them. The path is shorter than I remember, maybe because now my feet are eating up the stone as though it barely existed. The rock dragons watch us fly by, hissing, but we don't leave them the chance to attack. Sooner than I had expected, the light of the library dances in front of us. So far, nothing has tried to stop us. Maybe, I think for a wild second, maybe they haven't gotten the chance to set up security measures. My hopes melt when we burst into the light. Growling above us stands a watchdog even bigger than the one protecting the book, if that's possible.
"It looks like they've been waiting for us since the beginning," Fai 'whistles' appreciatively. My teeth clench and I ready myself to jump. Finally aboveground, my chest feels lighter than a feather, and I have no doubt that we can do this. I send my conscience out to the watchdog and smile satisfactorily. It's a being of pure magic, so sensing its next move is easy.
"Jump away!" I order suddenly, before doing so myself. With a loud hiss, the beast opens its mouth and releases a river of flames on us. I land on a bookshelf, Kurogane under me, and Fai is somewhere on the other side of the aisle. But I can't see Syaoran.
"Syaoran-kun!" I hear Fai yell in alarm and strain to find the boy amongst the flames. What he was five minutes ago isn't important. Right now he's Syaoran, and I have to protect him.
"I'm fine!" the boy's voice rings out from somewhere on the same bookshelf as me. The flames are starting to recede. Through the smoke I can make out Syaoran's silhouette on my bookshelf, some way between me and the watchdog. I sigh in relief. The beast spews out more flames to replace the ones we've avoided, and I have to protect my face from the heat, loosing sight of the boy for a second. "The books!" he screams desperately as the flames run up the side of the bookshelf. But when they fizzle away, the books aren't even marred.
"The books aren't affected at all!" Mokona exclaims.
"The watchdog's purpose is to protect the library," Fai explains from the other side of the aisle. "So its magic cannot damage the books."
"That's wonderful," Syaoran sighs gladly and I can't help myself but be relieved. This is the Syaoran I know, who loves books and all mementos of culture. Whoever that other boy was, he's far gone.
"Watch out!" I yell in warning as the beast decides to spit out not a river of flames, but smaller balls of fire to aim at each of us. I don't know exactly how I know what it's thinking, as it doesn't do so in words, but the connection is easy nonetheless. My earlier observations about the secret door and the magic of the memory have made the meanings of some feelings clearer. I feel like a child learning to read a language for which it has still to discover all the keys; my translations are shaky, hesitant, but I'm gradually progressing.
I have to swing down to avoid a flaming projectile, carefully shielding Mokona from the fire, and soon I've joined Kurogane and Fai on the floor. There's nowhere to go here either, as the watchdog's huge frame is blocking the path towards the rest of the library. Avoiding the flames isn't so hard; and without anything to burn, they soon fizzle and die. But I'm afraid we won't be able to keep this up for long if we can't escape to somewhere Mokona can use his teleportation magic.
"Moko-chan, get my whip out!" I say just as Kurogane orders:
"Manjuu, give me my sword!" I frown at him. I don't know how he'll be able to fight with Sakura on his shoulder, but I don't ask. The fur-ball opens his mouth wide, but once again nothing happens.
"No good!" he cries. "It won't come out!"
"Looks like this type of magic has been blocked too…" Fai says matter-of-factly, but I want to burst. Not only are they cutting us off from our exit, they don't even give us a chance to defend ourselves! I know it's their job to think of such things, and technically we're the bad guys, but I hate them. If anyone gets hurt because of this, they'll pay dearly.
"Kid!" Kurogane yells to Syaoran, still perched on the bookshelf. "Hit its leg!"
"Yes!" the boy answers, running along the top of the bookshelf towards the watchdog's leg. His kick is quick and hard, right at the joint. The watchdog doesn't stand a chance, but I don't feel the same feeling of unease I had when the other Syaoran fought. This attack isn't to hurt. This is to protect.
Loosing balance, the watchdog crumbles, knocking down a large bookshelf in its fall.
"Run!" I order for the third time today, using the path made by the fallen bookshelf to circle the watchdog. Syaoran and Kurogane are already in front of me, but Fai is desperately lingering behind. I turn around, catching the mage by the arm and pushing him in front of me. "Hurry up!" I growl, shoving him forward. I'm not sure because of all the commotion, but I think I hear him laugh.
The alarm rings louder than ever. Suddenly, we hear Icy's voice boom across the library.
"The people who took the Book of Memories are trying to escape. I repeat: the thieves are trying to escape. Do not let them out of the library!"
"Kid! Run ahead!" Kurogane calls back, and it takes me a moment to realize he's talking to me. I look once more at Fai, who smiles reassuringly. He's no longer falling back, but I don't want to lose sight of any of them. "Kid!" The ninja's tone is urgent, and I know he must have a good reason for this. Nodding, I speed up until I get to his level. "Clear the way," he grunts, using his chin to point out the sea of books in front of us, people still walking through aisles and looking around to find the source of the commotion. Time is of the essence now: we can't afford to be slowed down by taking a wrong turn or bumping into people. And I'm the fastest runner. So I nod.
"Move out!" I scream, startling two studious-looking boys in front of me before running past them. I study each passage before engaging myself in it, trying to find the way we came from, making sure we don't get lost. I have to hold out my skirts with one hand and Mokona with the other, and my girdle is pressing hard against my ribs. But I don't stop. I look back often to check on the others, and everything seems to be fine. I soon recognize the way towards one of the side doors.
Because I turn back so often, I'm the first one to notice them. Five girls in black, flying on what appears to be small winged platforms and wielding wands. They wear the same uniform as the clerks, so there's no doubt in my mind that they're here to stop us. I slow down. Now that there's no people to clear out or turns to take, there's no way I'm running in front of everyone like a coward. One of the girl's wand lights up in blue sparks.
"Watch it!" I cry out as the first ray of light shoots out towards Fai. It explodes on contact of the floor, and before I know what I'm doing I'm running back towards the others, my heart pounding. This magic won't kill us, but if it hits any of us it's over. We can't drag one more unconscious person and get out of here. And I'm not letting any one of us stay behind.
"An exit!" Syaoran exclaims in relief as we see the light of day pouring in through an arched doorway. Now I'm in the back again, making sure no one falls behind. The explosions rain behind us, but by some miracle we've been able to stay out of the girls' reach. I start to limp slightly again, to the point where I can feel it. I haven't run this distance in a long time, and not after my injury. Now there's a slow throbbing through my right thigh. I try my best not to favour my leg, but that's a mistake; trying to avoid a burst of light from behind me I land badly on my right leg, and the shock runs like lightning through my ankle to my thigh, all the way to the pit of my stomach. I stumble, clutching my leg. For a second I think my wound's open again, but the skin is whole under my fingers. I close my eyes. God, it hurts.
"Aisha!" Mokona shrieks in my arms.
"Aisha-chan!" It's Syaoran, calling my name. I open my eyes. A ray of light explodes beside me, too close. Almost as fast as it shot up, the pain recedes to a sustainable ache, and I start running again, but the damage is done. They're going to catch me. I throw Mokona towards the others. "Go!" I order. He obeys, sending me a worried glance. The others are slowing down.
"No!" I scream. "Run!" I know I'm going to get caught. But they have to leave. Their efforts to catch us only confirm that once they do, we won't be allowed the luxury to escape. I can't do this to any of them. Sakura needs those feathers. Syaoran has to look for them and care for her. Fai can never stop, lest that man finds him, and Kurogane has to go back to Tomoyo-hime. For one second, my heart hurts. Can I let them go? I won't let them stay with me. But at the same time…
I'm scared to get left behind. Again. At the thought of it, my heart screams.
Not again!
My conscience stretches behind me, and something, a deep, primal fear, snaps. I hear the roar of fire and screams of pain, but I don't turn around to look. Tears pricking in my eyes, I'm running again. Fai's eyes are wide when he catches me, with fear or surprise I don't know. But no sooner do I run into him that I'm pulling him by the sleeve, clutching his wrist like I'm afraid to let go, until I realize that it's precisely what I'm afraid of.
We don't exchange a word as we run towards the exit, but I can't hear the girls chasing us anymore. I don't really want to know what happened to them, although the others are still sending me stunned glances. All I want to do is get out of here, despite the throbbing in my leg.
When we burst out into the sunlight, Kurogane stops abruptly in front of me. I look over his shoulder and gasp. The pool is no longer the calm, mirror-like pond that it was when we stepped in; now it's thrashing like an angry sea, swirling in shades of dark blue and green. I don't think the bridge will appear again this time. But something else is wrong…
"They've flooded the passage!" Mokona exclaims. The angry buzz of more explosions suddenly appears behind us, and more girls fly out the door towards us. I look again to the pool and frown. This isn't water.
"Jumping is our only choice," Kurogane says, already preparing to put his plan to execution. This announcement makes a shiver snake down my spine, not only because we'll have to swim. Because what is left of water below us screams out a warning so clear is would be stupid to disregard it.
"No! Wait!" I order, putting an arm out in front of Kurogane before he jumps. "This isn't water!" Fai gazes thoughtfully at the pool and, in one swift movement, throws his hat in the crashing waves. No sooner does it touch the liquid that it melts with a sound of frying grease. The mage 'whistles' appreciatively, but his eyes are grave.
"There's still a lot of magic designed to catch us," he says. The flying girls reach us, their wands buzzing. Just then, a watchdog appears on our other side, blocking any attempt to fly out of here – if we only could. It opens its mouth, ready to spew out some fire. Mokona hides in Fai's collar with a yelp. I bite my lip. There's no escape. Without weapons, we can't expect to win without any losses, and my magic has retreated somewhere I know I can't reach it to do anything. Why does it always refuse to work when I need it most?
Then, suddenly, Fai whistles. Not a fake whistle but a long, low note that stretches forever. And for the first time, I feel his magic animate, take shape, call out. Winds dance around him, and the mage rises nonchalantly from the ground, still letting out that strong note. Arcs of light rise from the ground and twist around us, forming a protective net. I can only stare in wonder. The watchdog unleashes his river of flames, but it bends away when it reaches our small bubbles. I look to Fai with wide eyes. For some reason, my heart is pounding.
"Fai…" I start to say, but he ignores me.
"Mokona, let's go to the next world," he says calmly, as though nothing has happened.
"But… I can't use the magic," the fur-ball protests softly. Fai smiles and looks up to his shield.
"You'll be able to in here," he assures Mokona. Hesitantly, the fur-ball spreads its wings and opens his mouth. Soon the wind picks up, and I feel the energy waiting to take us to the next world.
"It works!" Mokona exclaims victoriously. We start to disappear, but my eyes are locked on Fai. And Fai's eyes are locked calmly on the ground, with the phony confidence of someone who knows he's done something wrong and is trying to convince you that he doesn't care.
XxX
I'm still on my guard when we land, eyes trained on every detail like a hawk, but there's nothing much to notice here but stone and sand. So my gaze quickly goes back to Fai. His eyes give nothing away. I can't get over what I just saw. After refusing to use magic, after blatantly lying about using it, he just performed such an obvious demonstration of power that my fingers are still tingling. It isn't just the amount of power he had at his disposal that astounds me, it's also his control over it. That shield was perfect, even I could tell. Fai must have studied a bit more than just magic theory.
"Hime!" Syaoran exclaims as Kurogane puts her down on a flat rock. And then there's him. He doesn't seem to remember what happened when he was fighting the watchdog, and yet I can still see his icy glance when I look at him. Someone was there, but it wasn't Syaoran. That he could somehow change into someone else disturbs me. Actually, I don't know what to think.
"She's asleep," the ninja grunts, looking down at Sakura. Despite everything that's happened since she fell asleep, she still seems peaceful. Syaoran sighs gratefully, and I shake my head. Nothing makes sense anymore. I can't reconcile both visions of the boy.
"She somehow managed to stay asleep while we were running away…" Fai jokes light-heartedly. There's an awkward silence when he speaks, and we all look at him. He pretends not to notice.
"Fai…" Mokona finally says plaintively, "I thought you said that you would never use magic again?" The mage smiles, then whistles thoughtfully.
"Well, to compare their natures, this is different from the magic I've used before," he explains. "Magic using sound – it's a different type of magic." It sounds fake. And I know it's not true. He said spells were just catalysts – the magic itself does not change. He's just trying to convince himself that he hasn't broken his promise. Even if – and my heart beats louder as I realize this – he used it for us. He always refused to use magic even in the most desperate situations, and now he uses it. He lies about it, but actions speak louder than words - and I don't understand what the mage is trying to tell us.
"Magic is magic, isn't it?" Kurogane says gruffly, interrupting my thoughts. Fai looks to him.
"Perhaps…" he admits with a sheepish smile, shrugging. But now Syaoran sighs loudly, and I look to him in surprise.
"I'm sorry," the boy says sadly. "If I had paid more attention to the ways to escape from the library…"
"No," I interrupt him gravely. "You are not to blame for any of this." This declaration is accompanied by a meaningful glance towards the mage. This is nobody's fault but his own, and he knows it. But Fai ignores me, and reassuringly pats Syaoran's shoulder.
"Syaoran-kun, you put so much effort into everything," he scolds him lightly. "And besides, you retrieved the feather." The boy still looks down sadly, and I think I see confusion pass on his features. My gaze finds Kurogane's. We don't speak, but the current between us is clear; we'll talk about this later, when the others aren't around. We both have questions that the other might help shed some light on. And even if it amounts to nothing, I need to make sure that I'm not making up this feeling of dread.
That things are slowly but irrevocably slipping away from any small control that I might have.
"Right," Fai says in a dismissive tone, "what kind of place are we in this time?" He starts climbing the boulders around us to get a better view. I expect him to call out some comments, but when he reaches the top all we hear is silence.
"What's up there?" I ask, climbing after him, confused by his silence. But when I peer over a rock to see the horizon, I'm unable to utter a single word either.