A/N: This chapter is dedicated to Rant; thank you for giving me the guts to write the story the way I wanted instead of staying trapped by how I felt I was supposed to. Your awesomeness knows no bounds :) x

~xXx~

Chapter 34

Alex couldn't look Gene in the eye.

"Something happened when I was back in the real world," her voice was quiet and slow, as though she was trying to detach herself from her words, "I was always going to tell you, Gene. Please don't think that I meant to keep his from you because that was never my intention."

"It would help if you'd tell me what the big secret was. I take it you haven't won the Reader's Digest star prize?" Gene asked but his heart wasn't even in his sarcasm.

"I'm trying to be serious, Gene," Alex said quietly.

"I know that," Gene said stiffly, "why do you think I'm making uncomfortable jokes?"

"Stop it, Gene, this is hard enough," Alex's expression grew darker.

Gene stared at her, unsure what she could possibly have done on the other side of the line that seemed to warrent such a reaction.

"Spit it out then Bolly," he said tensely. He was starting to feel extremely worried by her tone.

He watched as she stared at her hands, clutching her coffee cup.

"I'd been back there already for a long time," she said quietly, "almost three months had passed by since I woke up and I was missing you so much. It was painful to even think about you. I'd fought so hard to get back to you and everything I'd done had gone wrong. I was so desperate to get home, Gene, I was missing you and so, so lonely. And even though I tried to keep strong, I'd started to feel like I was never going to see you again. I thought I'd lost you forever and I was stuck in two thousand and twelve without you."

Gene wished for all the world that he wasn't stuck in a hospital bed with a drip in his hand and a bandage that made him look like Mr. Bump.

"Can we skip to the end before I start going crazy and gnawing on me drip tube?" he said. He wasn't sure where this was leading but the long-long version was starting to make him apprehensive.

Alex nodded slowly. She knew drawing it out wasn't helping matters. She was stalling, more or less. Postponing the moment. Delaying the inevitable.

"Robin was in hospital," she said quietly, "and it had been a while. The news wasn't very positive."

Gene waited for her to continue but she seemed to have hit a rut of words. She couldn't carry on. When a few moments had passed he said,

"This had better not be leading to some all-night X-Files quote-a-thon in his memory."

"Please, Gene, this isn't easy!" Alex drew in her breath, her expression becoming clearly overwrought and emotional, "I'm trying to tell you. Don't make it worse."

"Then get some words moving in this direction," Gene was starting to feel frustrated and wanted to get this over with but Alex's words would have to come at their own pace.

"Robin had been unconscious for a while, and Kim assumed… well it was easy to assume... that he wasn't coming back." She paused again, "she was convinced he'd chosen to stay with Simon. She was feeling so lost, Gene, she'd only recently found out she was expecting, and she thought Robin had chosen Simon over her and that she was facing the future alone. And she was feeling so insecure."

"Surely those metal rivets are enough to hold her together," Gene said thinly.

Alex ignored that.

"She was lost and insecure, and I was lonely and thought I'd never see you again," Alex's voice shook as she woke quietly, the words sticking on her throat. She finally raised her gaze to catch his eye. "It just… happened."

The silence that followed seemed to last for eons. Alex could hear a buzzing in her ears from how pure the silence felt. She stared at Gene, willing him to speak up. Surely he would respond; he'd yell or scream or say something completely inappropriate. The silence was unexpected. It felt like an ice age came and went before Gene finally said;

"Any chance that you are going to clarify exactly what happened, Drake?"

Alex bit ferociously on her lip. Her eyes flickered between Gene's and her hands, still clasping her cup.

"We," she whisperd, "Kim, and I," the words ceased again. She swallowed and dropped her head, feeling the heat rising to her cheeks. "I was… I was highly hormonal… I was almost six months by then, and I hadn't…" she flinched as she hard herself trying to justify what she'd done. There was no justification. Except for that, she'd wanted to.

"Stringer," Gene said bluntly.

Alex couldn't look at him.

"It was a very strange situation, Gene," she whispered, "I was very lost and isolated out there. I didn't belong there. Staying with Kim and with Robin, I felt as though I belonged at least. When you're on the other side, you need people who understand, and after Robin was shot we… Kim and I… it felt like it was the two of us against the world and we… I suppose, we grew even closer."

Gene's eyes were fixed upon her even though she couldn't look back at him.

"So you were, what?" he straightened his jaw, eyes boring into her, "going for a re-enactment of the Christmas dare, were you?"

Alex felt her eyes closing and a second wave of heat washed over the skin of her face.

"In a way," she whispered.

"You locked lips with Metal Mickey?" Gene's voice was edgy. She didn't look at him but she could picture his expression.

"Yes," she said quietly, "yes, and no."

Gene stared on.

"You locked more than lips?" Alex stayed still and silent like a child caught stealing someone's lunch money in the playground. Her silence overflowed with guilt and Gene felt his pulse quickening. There was a note of anger in his voice as he asked, "exactly how far into the Isle of Lesbos did you travel, Alex?"

"Gene!" Alex cried, finally looking up.

"At least you're looking at me face now," Gene said crossly, "you're telling me instead of yer coffee cup."

"I'm sorry," she whispered as her eyes closed and she wished that she could wipe away the anger on his face, "it's hard being alone in a place you don't belong any more, being away from someone you love. I was lonely, and so was Kim, we both needed someone, just for one night –"

"Can't be very comforting sleeping next to a bag of rivets," said Gene.

"Stop that," Alex told him crossly.

"Me fiancé's just told me she's been jumping ship!" cried Gene, "I'm not going to ask you if you enjoyed yer stay and to mark her performance out of ten!"

"It was one night –"

"One night too many," Gene found himself breathing so hard he was almost panting.

"I didn't think I would ever get back," Alex tried to explain, "we both thought we were alone in the world. I'd been waking up alone every morning for weeks and months and I craved warmth and needed someone to hold me and make me feel safe, just like you do. And she needed someone to help her feel better about herself when she was hitting her lowest point. It's not as though we were sneaking around behind your back, she thought Robin had left her behind for good and I couldn't see a way clear to getting home. We really needed each other that night, Gene. I'm sorry." She paused and breathed hard to catch her breath. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. I should have told you when I first came back." She looked him in the eye. "But I can't say I'm sorry that it happened because I'm not. I didn't regret it the morning after and I don't regret it now. I only regret that it's hurt you."

Gene closed his eyes for a moment, then looked back at her.

"This is the point," he began, "where I would usually storm the hell out and slam the door in rage. Since I can't move from this bed you'll have to do the walking out part." He turned his had away a little. "You don't have to do the slamming the door part,"

"I think we should talk about this," Alex said nervously.

"I don't. Out." Gene said bluntly.

Alex stared at him, ready to protest, but the she shook her head. It wasn't the time.

"Goodbye then, Gene," she whispered. She got to her feet and turned around, walking swiftly from the room without looking back in case she changed her mind, and in case he saw her cry.

~xXx~

The quiet, dark corner of the canteen hid her face away as she cried silent tears. She knew that, under normal circumstances, what she's done would have been straightforward cheating. It would have been wrong, very wrong, and something she would never have done to Gene in a lifetime. But it wasn't 'like that'. It wasn't some cheap or sordid one-night stand; it was something gentle and beautiful that came from the close bond between two friends who were going through something so strange and heart-breaking that they drew from each other the warmth and the strength they needed to help them survive the tough times.

She had started to think she would never be reunited with him. She'd started to think that the world had closed its doors to her. As much as she carried on fighting she thought she had lost the fight. She craved love and warmth, she needed someone to tell her everything was going to be alright. And Kim had been feeling the same way.

Constantly feeling as though she still lived in the shadow of Simon, Kim truly thought that Robin had chosen him over her. The more days went by, the more it seemed to be the truth. She hadn't known she was pregnant until after Robin had been shot and had never been able to tell him. Her late discovery coupled with her deep-rooted body-image issues had led her to feel ashamed of the changes her body was going through instead of embracing them.

Alex felt a tear fall from her eye as she remembered that night; both feeling desolate and in need of love, affection and intimacy; Alex's words attempting to soothe Kim's fears and Kim doing all she could to help Alex to feel less alone as the likelihood of ever getting home began to fade. Between a crush that Kim had kept hidden for years and a curiosity that Alex had never been bold enough to explore, the close friendship they had built over the last few, intense months had easily transferred into something closer. Both alone, lost, hormonal and starved of affection, things had just happened naturally. It wasn't forced, it wasn't sordid; it was pure and tender and beautiful and when they awoke in the morning neither regretted it but they both knew that it was one night, to never be repeated.

She should have told Gene as soon as she came home. The fact that she didn't would twist the knife of guilt in her guts for an eternity. But she could never say that she regretted it because it wouldn't be true. That one night was an oasis in the middle of the darkest months of her life. For that, she would forever be grateful to Kim.

~xXx~

Gene barely looked up as he heard a knock at the door.

"What is it, Shoebury?" he asked.

"I just…" Simon paused as he saw Gene's expression, "what's happened? Don't tell me someone's scratched your car?"

"Not in the mood Shoebury," Gene sighed, rubbing his face crossly.

"What is it then?" Simon asked. When Gene didn't reply he became increasingly concerned. "Shit, Gene, what is it?"

Gene seemed to indulge in facial gymnastics for some time until he managed to decide upon an expression. It was slightly angry, mostly guilty, and he finally looked Simon in the eye.

"Will you get me a dictionary, Shoebury?"

"What? Why?" Simon asked, confused.

"I want to look up 'hypocrite' and see if they've got me picture in there yet."

"What are you talking about?" frowned Simon, "is it time for your pills…?"

"Shut up, Simon," Gene closed his eyes, tilted his had right back and sighed as loudly as humanly possible.

"Come on, you might as well tell me what you're talking about, before I start knocking my head against the wall."

Gene grunted.

"Somehow I don't think you're a very appropriate choice of confidante," He said.

"Did you need a dictionary or just swallow one?" Simon demanded, "Confidante?" he frowned, "and why wouldn't I be a good one?" he pouted a little.

"Last thing I need is the infidelity police on me back," Gene mumbled.

Simon eyed him warily.

"What are you trying to tell me?" he asked, "is this anything to do with my mother?"

"…Is the other reason you're not a very appropriate choice of confidante," Gene muttered.

"Gene, spit it out!" Simon cried, "is that what this is all about? What exactly happed in your…. coma stuff? Oh god, you went and shagged my mother again, didn't you?" Simon started walking in speedy circles in horror.

"Jesus, Shoebury, you love to think the worst, don't you?" Gene cried.

"Then what happened?"

Gene closed his eyes and put his hand to his head, forgetting the bandage was there and wondering why his skin felt strange for a second. He sighed and finally looked at Simon.

"This goes no further," he said threateningly.

"It's a bit hard to spill your secrets around when you're talking in riddles," Simon said. He finally sank into the chair by gene's bed and folded his arms. "Come on, just tell me. You obviously want to."

"You'll sit and pass judgement," Gene said warily.

"No judging," said Simon, "promise."

Gene hesitated warily, but eventually gave a sigh and began to explain.

"Just discovered something," he said, "Bols… there's ben something she wasn't telling me. Something that happened on the other side, in two thousand and bollocks. Before she got back."

Simon looked at him cluelessly.

"What?" he asked, "I'm not following."

"Metal Mickey," Gene began."

"Kim?"

"Seems she's turning people left, right and centre," Gene said grimly.

"What?" Simon began to jibber comments of confusion but as he absorbed the look on Gene's face the truth slowly dawned upon him. "What? No, that's not very likely, is it?"

"Simon, she sat right where you are now and confessed to cleaning Stringer's carpet!" Gene cried.

"Alex?" Simon frowned, "and Kim?"

"Jesus, Shoebury, keep up," if Gene's head wasn't already throbbing he'd have started hitting it against the wall by that point .

"I'm sorry, this has just come as a bit of a shook," Simon shook his head, "I didn't think Alex would… I mean…" he paused as he thought back to Kim's time in the nineties; to a couple of comments and moments that made him wonder if she may have been harbouring a crush on Alex but Kim's sharp tongue had always cut down the questioning before it even began. He looked back at Gene, wide eyed. "Does Robin know?"

"I'm not an almanac, Simon, I don't have all the details at me disposal, I've only just discovered me fiancé's been taking an interest in metalwork!"

"Oh god, Kim's cheated on Robin and he doesn't know –" Simon leapt to his feet, his expression torn between horror that Kim had done such a thing behind his back and the sneaky notion that he might be able to steal Robin back if he learned one or two little facts.

"Settle, Simon," Gene told him crossly, "whether he knows or not, you're saying nothing."

"Oh Gene you can't be serious –"

"You already gave me yer word this wasn't going any further," Gene reminded him.

"Yeah, well that was before –"

"Simon!"

Gene's tone stopped Simon for a second. He slowed down, looked at Gene guiltily and mumbled an apology. His mind went back to something Keats had said. Shit, he really had seen things from the other side. What that meant about the word and Keats's role within it, Simon didn't even want to contemplate. He hesitated and looked at Gene.

"Wait a second," he frowned, "you said you were a hypocrite."

"I told you to look it up," Gene tried to cover.

"No, you meant it," Simon frowned, "is this still about my mum?" he paused, "Shit, it's not, is it? You've cheated again."

"Calm down, Infidelity Police, put down yer weapon, I've got me hands up. Bugger this, I wish I'd never opened me big flapping gob of doom now."

"Gene, what did you do?" Simon accused.

Gene hesitated. He looked at Simon cautiously.

"You're me resident expert on parallel universes, alternative version wotsits and multiple dimension crap, right?" he said.

Simon nodded.

"Apparently," he sighed, "Why?"

Gene hesitated again.

"Is it still cheating when you've bonked yer fiancée's past self from another sodding world?"

Simon stared at Gene. The look on his face was priceless; confusion, guilt and, also, the desperation to brag just for a second about his unusual conquest, even though Simon would rather have cemented his ears up permanently than heard one word about Gene's alleged prowess.

"You… cheated on Alex… with herself?" his tone grew high and squeaky as he tried to process the information.

Gene wished he had his flask, or failing that some of Simon's blue and white pills would have sufficed.

"That's about the size of it," he said.

Simon put his head in his hands.

"Your resident expert on parallel universes, alternative version wotsits and multiple dimension crap wishes to resign," he groaned.