I had loved having company for two weeks, the constant activities and entertaining and always having something to do… But I also loved waving them away. It was so nice to just be around family again without having to constantly worry about others having fun or being content. But I had to admit that it had been fun.
The day after Margaret left it was blisteringly hot, the sun beating down made the air hazy and even breathing became a bit difficult. Cynthia and I were sitting on a blanket under a giant oak tree, trying to keep cool in the shade with our fans and the ocean breeze, but nothing was working. Rebekah came over to find us and together we decided to take Cynthia swimming. It had been such a relief to feel that nice cool water, to dive under the waves and escape the unbearable heat while we splashed and raced. Sometime later we saw Simon and Elijah walking down the cliff path toward us and waving for us.
"What are you ladies doing?" Simon asked, laughing at our appearances as we stood half in the water and they waited just beyond the water in the sand.
"And just what does it look like we're doing?" Cynthia fired back.
"It looks as thought the three of you decided that jumping into the ocean would be a good idea"
"Well we are cool and having fun so it is better than any idea you've had today". After some bickering back and forth between the siblings and much persuasion on our part we eventually got Elijah and Simon in the water with us. It was a surprisingly fun afternoon with friends- no pressures to be proper or expectations, just five friends.
The day after we went swimming was still hot, but much more bearable. My father and Elijah decided to take Simon down to the docks with them. They said it was just to show him the ships and talk with the crew but Rebekah said otherwise.
"You know the real reason for the guy's little venture don't you?" Rebekah said as we ate our breakfast in the dining room waiting for Cynthia to come down
"To show Simon the business?" I guessed
"Don't be so naïve dear," she said, "They are testing him"
"Testing him?... How?"
"They are taking him down to the docks to test his instincts for business and his work ethic"
"Why?" genuinely not understanding
"For you!"
"Why would Elijah go along with that!?" I ask, panic slightly evident in my voice. It made no sense! I knew how Elijah felt about Simon, and it wasn't a positive thing
"I didn't get a chance to ask him before they left this morning" she answered, and she even looked a bit put off with her brother. But we had to halt our conversation when Cynthia came bouncing into the room. For the rest of the day while the guys were gone we gave all of the puppies a bath, which really just turned into a great big water fight. We then dried off as we laid in the sun and read poetry aloud to one another, to which my mother came running out lamenting on our pale complexions and made us move under the shade. My father, Elijah and Simon returned just before dinner so I had no chance to ask him about their adventure privately but they did talk of the experience in a positive way, much to my disappointment.
It was decided that the next day we would spend the morning picking fruit and filling baskets with our fresh picks and fresh loaves of bread from the kitchen and we would travel down to the village. The children at the orphanage were very excited to see us again, especially Elijah, whom they proceeded to climb all over as he tried to carry his baskets through the door. Rebekah, Cynthia and I couldn't contain our laughter as we watched him struggle through the door. One of the little children, a little girl with bright red hair probably about 3 years old, had climbed all the way up to his shoulders but suddenly lost her grip and started to fall backwards to the ground. I am not sure how Elijah did it but he spun around and was able to catch her just before her head hit the ground.
"Oh my goodness!" I gasped as I ran forward and took the little girl in my arms, "Are you alright darling?" I crooned to her. She wasn't crying but I could see her chin quiver and her eyes fill with tears as the fear of what could have happened caught up with her. Everyone else entered the orphanage to give the little girl some air. I hugged her close to my breast and whispered to her until she was smiling again, the incident forgotten in her mind. Elijah came to stand in front of me and stroked the little girl's cheek with his thumb and smiled down at her.
"You gave me quite the scare little one" he murmured and the girls smile grew even brighter and she held her hands out for Elijah to take her. My heart swelled watching him with her; she wrapped her little arms around his neck and laid her head down on his shoulder. At first he looked at me with a little hint of apprehension in his face, but it quickly melted away as she laid her cheek against him and then his face broke into an adorable smile and he looked down at her.
"I think someone has taken a fancy to you" I say with a smile as I gently stroke the little girls back and she smiled at me.
"Well I hope she is not the only one" he murmured quietly back to me and my eyes shot to his face to see his warm eyes looking intently back into mine, face serious. I open my mouth, either in shock or to come up with some sort of response I am not sure, but I am saved by Cynthia as she came back outside.
"Those children are absolutely adorable!" she declared with a smile, "Of course poor Simon is simply standing in their surrounded by children, entirely out of his element… quite the stick in the mud sometimes" she snickered. I glanced through the door and she was right, while his smile seemed genuine as he beheld to chaos around him, his posture was extremely stiff and uncomfortable. I shook my head. We ushered him and Rebekah out so we could deliver the rest of the fruit and bread to the rest of the poor. When Elijah tried to put the little girl down she screamed and clung to him so the head caretaker said he could take her with us on our other visits. Everyone was so grateful for our visit and the elderly women we visited loved coddling the baby and it gave Elijah a nice break. We walked back to the orphanage slowly, the little girl holding onto me and Elijah's hands as she waddled between us. Handing her back over to her caretaker had been hard and I couldn't help the little tear that escaped before I quickly wiped it away.
"Are you alright?" Elijah asked me quietly as we returned to the horses
"Oh yes… I just- I don't think it makes sense returning her to an overcrowded orphanage when I am returning to a home with more than enough rooms and love where she could grow up taught and happy. They do the best that they can but they have entirely too many children for that small building and with only the three of them there…" I sigh
"Want to know what I think?" he asked
"Always" I smiled
"I think you have an exceptionally big heart, and your passion for helping is one of the things I love about you" he said seriously, no hint of a smirk in his features.
"Oh? There are other things you love about me then?" I joke to cover the wave of emotions his comment had given me. We hadn't had many moments together with the house full of guests, but I missed the closeness I used to feel with him and this moment made me realize that it hadn't gone anywhere.
"One of many" he winked. He lifted me into the saddle of my horse, hands lingering a bit longer than necessary on my waist and causing my cheeks to flush, but all too soon his hands were gone and we were all on our way back to the estate talking about how much everyone had enjoyed the day.
At breakfast the next morning my father had quite a surprise for us.
"So the other day when Elijah, Simon and I were at the docks I spoke with my captain and he agreed to take you kids sailing today" he beamed around the table at us and we all broke out into excited chatter.
"Oh my goodness! I cannot believe I am going to go on an actual boat!" Cynthia squealed excitedly. And I shared her excitement, surprisingly as the daughter of a merchant Lord I had never set sail on a ship.
"It is great fun" Rebekah said and I was surprised that she had been on a ship before. "Oh, my family and I traveled to France when I was a bit younger and I remember it fondly" she explained
"Oh that sounds wonderful" I say, dreaming of how wonderful it must have been to travel.
"Short journeys are… but I can't say I envy those embarking on these exploratory journeys that last months on end" Elijah said.
"Yes I don't envy our crew venturing to India" my father replied. But I did! I didn't say anything though, I know it bothered my mother when I spoke of traveling and adventures. So after we had all finished breakfast we quickly prepared to leave. My father rode with us down through the village and down to the docks to introduce us to the captain.
"Well its right good to meet ya!" he said to all of us, "But that canna be little Caroline! Such a lady now!" he exclaimed as he pet the top of my head and I blushed bright red. I had known him since I was born and he was one of the warmest people I knew and his crew both respected him and loved him as did my father. He went over some basic sea terms we should know and some rules while on board and then we were all welcomed on board the ship. We spent all day on the waves, each taking turns steering the wheel and helping to control the sails… everyone except Simon. After about ten minutes at sea Simon began to feel ill and after about thirty minutes he began to throw up over the side of the boat. We offered multiple times to return to the docks for him but he kept refusing, saying he didn't want to spoil everyone else's fun.
"Well it's not surprising that Simon gets sea sick as well" Rebekah said sarcastically as she came to stand beside me, leaning on the railing overlooking the water.
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't Elijah tell you how it went the last time they came down to the docks with him?"
"No, he didn't say a thing…"
"Oh well… I guess every time they asked his opinion on something he didn't have any idea what was going on"
"Well that is not too outside of the realm- he has never been exposed to the merchant trade before"
"But it wasn't just his lack of knowledge on ships and trading, a lot of what they asked him had to do with common sense Caroline… Elijah said he got the impression that your father was not impressed with him"
"Oh… well neither of them said anything to me"
"Hmm… well I don't see much traveling in your future if he is in it" was all she said as my mouth dropped open, and she nodded in Simon's direction before moving on to sit beside Cynthia at the helm of the ship. The sun began to set and I remained at the railing, watching the waves turn pink and thinking. What she said made me fill with even more dread at the slim possibility of being linked with Simon. I didn't even notice when we docked because I was so deep in thought; but Elijah came over and laid his hand on my arm, his eyes questioning. I didn't want to talk about my depressed thoughts so I simply proceeded him off the ship. Watching everyone walking down the gangplank was extremely comical because none of us had our land legs back yet, but by the time we dismounted back at the estate we were all back to normal.
The next day was the final day of the Knightsly's stay and my father took Simon and Elijah hunting with the Merton boys; they left before breakfast and didn't return until midafternoon. I was surprised that Simon was prepared for a day of hunting after the day he had yesterday. But I was very pleased when Vanessa arrived and the four of us spent the day playing cards at a table in the garden waiting for the men to return home with their game. I watched Vanessa as we played… I had only known her a short time but I thought that I could see a slight change in her. She seemed a bit more cheerful and a bit more outspoken as we all laughed and played hand after hand of cards, and that cheerfulness only increased after the men returned home. They had managed to catch three hares, and the cook planned on making a hare stew for dinner tonight for everyone. They came out to greet us in the garden and they joined in our card game until the sun began to set. We all retired to the sitting room for drinks to wait for our informal dinner. Ever since the men returned I noticed that Simon never left Vanessa's side and Vanessa hadn't stopped smiling since they returned, and this wasn't the first time I had noticed an affinity between the two… Rebekah seemed to notice as well because she caught me staring and raised her eyebrows in surprise. Dinner was finally announced and everything was delicious and there was much happy chatter around the table as the wine flowed freely. The Merton's departed soon after the conclusion of dinner and everyone retired early because Simon and Cynthia needed to be on their way early the next morning.
It had been very fun to have them here and I would miss their company, well Cynthia's anyway, but I was also happy to wave them away the next morning. I knew I wouldn't have long to miss them either because they had also agreed to return at the end of the month for the Harvest Ball. It was to be a masked costume event and Rebekah and I immediately set out to think of our costumes. The next day Rebekah and I were in the library looking through books to get inspiration for our costumes when Mary came in to tell me that my parents wanted to see me in my father's study. I immediately got a nervous pit in my stomach. The only other times my parents had called me into the study had been for a tragedy in the family or because I was in trouble, but I couldn't think of anything I had done wrong. I took a deep breath, knocked on the door and opened it slowly.
"Caroline dear, come in come in" my father smiled and gestured for me to sit in a chair by the fireplace. He took the seat opposite me and my mother stood behind him, both wore matching expressions of contentedness.
"Am I in trouble?" I ask, unable to stop myself, but I was relieved to see that both of my parents looked shocked.
"Of course not dear! Why would you think that?" my mother asked
"Well I don't usually receive a formal summons…" I explain
"Oh no, it is nothing like that… we simply have some news to share with you" she smiled
"Yes- we have just received a letter from Cynthia and Simon's parents… obviously thanking us for hosting their children for two weeks and to also confirm some rather exciting thoughts I am sure you have been having" my father smiled
"What are you talking about?" I ask, fearing that I already knew the answer
"They have agreed that Simon will begin to court you when the two of you are at court next Spring" my father announced, beaming across at me and I couldn't help the horrified expression that I felt forming on my face.
"What!?" I squeaked when I could finally speak
"Next Spring when you arrive at court you and Simon will officially begin courting. I expect that a betrothal will not be far off because you have already developed a familiarity and-"
"No!" I interrupt him, jumping to my feet, and my father looks shocked
"No?" he asks, his tone quiet
"Father I- I cannot! I do not love Simon!" I try to explain
"Dear, do not fret. Marriage grows love, it is rarely there at the onset" my mother tried to comfort me as she came around the side of my father's chair and grasped my arms.
"But mother-"
"There are no but's Caroline. Simon is a perfectly eligible bachelor-" my father started to say
"In fact dear, there has already been talk at court that he will be the most sought after courtship for the young maidens this season" my mother interrupted excitedly. I could see why that would make her happy, for her only child to round up the most eligible young man at court before she even arrived…
"He is from a good family who are already terribly fond of you, he is handsome and kind… he may not have much of a business sense but that doesn't matter much when he will inherit his father's title. You will be a countess and comfortable for the rest of your life" my father finished. And there was that word… comfortable. I didn't want to have a comfortable life, and that would be all I would have with him. There would be no passion, we would never fight and he could never inspire feelings of love in me- but we would be comfortable.
"Is comfortable enough father?" I ask quietly, and he studied me. I am sure he could see the silent desperation in my eyes and I saw his expression soften. He leaned forward and grasped my hands in his as my mother moved aside.
"Caroline, I am not going to be around forever. I want to leave this earth knowing that the two people I love most are taken care of and happy and secure… that is what Simon will give me" he said gently and I felt my heart breaking. My father was looking at me with such vulnerability and I knew that I would do anything for him.
"Alright father…" I say as a tear silently slides down my face. And with that I see everything I had ever wanted ripped away from me. I wanted freedom, I wanted to travel, I wanted excitement and passion… I wanted love.