Trust

Arthur threw another log on the fire, his eyes being drawn now and then to Merlin and Morgana sitting in each other's arms by the flames.

Morgana, for all her flamboyant confidence, seemed subdued and shaken. She sat in front of Merlin on the ground, her head back against his chest, her hands interlocked with his around her waist. Arthur suspected the helplessness inspired by the witch's bane had affected her deeply. Merlin had saved her again and Arthur knew how much that dependency annoyed her.

As for Merlin and the day's revelations....

"Maybe you should get some rest," his Advisor whispered into her hair. She nodded briefly then kissed him and went to their tent.

Merlin picked up the empty plates and threw them into the warmed bucket of river water he'd collected for that purpose. Since they have made camp, he had gone about his duties as though he was still Arthur's manservant and nothing had changed.

Arthur grunted reprovingly.

"You're my advisor, Merlin, not my servant," he said finally, sharply, "and if I understand what happened today correctly you're also the most powerful sorcerer alive."

Merlin simply gave him a brief toothless smile then kept washing up.

"Even warlocks need clean plates, Arthur."

"Gods, Merlin!" said Arthur, raising his voice in sudden anger. "Four years. Four. Years. It's been four years since we met and more than a year since you became my Advisor. You have lied to me all that time about who you are, about what you can do. How can I trust you now? How can you sit there being so... damn ordinary?"

Merlin just shrugged.

"Stop it," Arthur demanded, "just stop it right now. If it isn't bad enough you've lied to me every day since we met, I can't stand you sitting there pretending to be... subservient. From what I saw today, you could blast me to pieces with barely a thought.

"So... what? Explain it to me? Was it fun pretending to be my bumbling manservant? Did it make you feel powerful to humiliate me like that? Was it part of some grand plan to gain my trust so you could... what?

"Merlin! Look at me. What? Why....?"

Arthur stopped his tirade suddenly, lost for words. He looked down to the dirt then took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"I understand that magic is banned and that if I'd known.... if I'd found out at the beginning I would have turned you in. It's the law. And I respect and uphold the law. But after everything, after you nearly died saving Morgana's life, after you and I became friends, after I found out about Morgana's magic... why wouldn't you tell me then?"

"And why did you learn magic anyway? When did this start? Was it because Morgana has magic? Did you think she wouldn't love you if you weren't powerful like she is? Why would you dabble in something so dangerous?'

Merlin laid a piece of cloth on the ground to put the clean plates on to dry and then turned back to his Prince.

"Some people learn magic, Arthur, it's something they choose. I had no choice. I was born this way."

"That's not possible," interjected Arthur, "my Father...."

"Your Father is wrong, Arthur. Not completely, of course. We all know there are magic threats to the Kingdom. We all know magic corrupts some people as power always does. There are those as blinded by their hatred for Uther as he is by his hatred of them.

"But there are people for whom magic is not a choice. And no matter what he says, there are magical threats that we could not have survived without magic on our side. That's why I have hidden all these years. Because I couldn't take the chance that..."

"What? That I would have you executed?"

Merlin smiled at him then; one of his bright deep grins.

"Executed? Please. No, Arthur, afraid that I would have to leave Camelot and everyone I care about."

"If you cared about us, Merlin, then you wouldn't have lied to us. But at least you know that I would never have you executed."

"Arthur, you couldn't have even if you tried. Witch's bane can't bind me. Do you really think metal chains could? No true sorcerer with any real power could be executed by conventional means."

"But that means that..."

"I'm afraid so."

Arthur hung his head as he contemplated the hundreds of executions he'd witnessed since he reached his maturity.

"Were they all innocent?" he asked finally, quietly, subdued, restrained. Trying to ignore the small bits of his world coming down around his head.

"Since being a Druid is a crime, or consorting with a Druid is a crime, or having magic even if it is weak and you don't use it is a crime, or speaking out in support of someone accused of witchcraft is a crime, or letting a sorcerer stay in your inn overnight even though you didn't know they were a sorcerer is a crime then no, Arthur. They were all executed to the letter of the law and they were guilty of their crimes."

Arthur looked up at this Advisor's grim blue eyes; black in the firelight.

"Why didn't you tell me? How could you let innocents be executed when..."

"When what, Arthur? I've told you a hundred times. You told me I couldn't possibly know anything about magic and its insidious corruption. And anyway, even if you had believed me, what could you have done? This is still Uther's kingdom. You can change his mind about many things. This law is not one of them. I know that things will be different when you are King. So I protect the innocents of Camelot by protecting you."

"You protect me?"

"Yes, Arthur."

"You have got to be kidding me."

"Excuse me? You wouldn't be alive right now if it wasn't for me."

"Fine," the Prince said sarcastically, seemingly forgetting that a minute ago he was furious at Merlin for lying to him for so many years, "You protect me. When? How?"

"You know, Arthur, this has been a big day and that is a long conversation."

"Then bore me," he demanded.

Merlin grinned despite himself.

"I thought you hated the long version. Didn't you tell me you wanted my reports to be concise?"

"True," conceded Arthur. "So, 'Merlin protects Arthur', the abridged version."

Merlin nodded.

"So, the abridged version..."