Dark Waltz- Chapter 35
A/N: Unedited and VERY late... for that, I apologize. If you need an explanation, please see the note at the end of the chapter.
Enjoy!
CPOV
Two days post transplant, and still no change in Bella's condition. No twitching fingers, no fluttering eyelids, no awakenings…
…and luckily, no deterioration either.
Nothing.
After the sickeningly anticlimactic reunion between Bella and her siblings and Edward's private meltdown with my wife, we were all more than eager to see some sort of change. Bella had been still for far too long now, and it was starting to get to all of us.
I, as a doctor, knew very well how these things worked- her heart would take a while to work at full capacity, her body would always be working against it and she would always be a little different than her peers. She would live, but she would be hindered.
For once, my knowledge didn't soothe me. It didn't even give me the minutest comfort. My profession had turned on me- it had become a double-edged blade. On one hand, no one was better suited than I to look after a sick child, no one in all of Forks could do a better job at giving her a shot at a normal life while still making sure she was healthy. On the other hand, no one knew better how quickly and drastically things could change. No one else in my family knew of all the bacteria creeping through our spotlessly clean home and all the nasty things they could do to her now that she was compromised.
At least she'd been moved to a more public room now. She was no longer occupying the bed directly across from the nurses station with gowns and gloves. Forty eight hours post-op, only a few hours ago, she'd been moved to a more publicly accessible room that allowed one overnight visitor.
I'd been given watch for tonight, giving my wife and kids some time to recuperate. I'd brought with me my newest novel and a change of clothes to occupy me and keep me clean while I kept a vigil at Bella's bedside. The lights were dim enough to promote rest, but bright enough to light up the pages of my book. I knew, however, as I read, that I'd be forced to reread it once my mind was able to fully focus… there was no way I could force myself to focus so intently on a book knowing where I was sitting.
I jumped up as the phone beside her bed rang, the shrill sound echoing through the white room. I leapt up and picked it up before it could wake anyone else on the floor, knowing exactly who it was.
"Hello?"
"Hey Carlisle," said Marcus softly. "How's things?"
"The same," I said, taking the entire phone unit to the other end of the room.
For some reason, I couldn't shake the idea that Bella was just asleep, not sedated.
"She's not awake yet?" he asked worriedly. "Isn't that a long time?"
"We've had people take a week or more," I admitted. "Two to three days is just an average, not a rule."
"Huh."
"How's the dog?" I asked gently, thanking God that Marcus had volunteered to oversee the doings of our unruly animal while we all stayed here.
"Just great," he sniffed. "He chewed the laces out of my work shoes a few hours ago."
My cheeks heated up in embarrassment.
"We'll pay for new ones," I assured him. "Anything else?" Marcus just laughed.
"Don't worry about my shoes," he said. "I tied him outside to get some exercise and he's doing just fine."
"Thanks again, Marcus," I said. Jake wasn't even allowed back at the kennel in Seattle after the stunts he'd pulled last time, and Marcus had been our last resort for dog sitting.
"No problem," he said. "Your dad wants you to call."
"For what?" I asked, stunned.
"He wants to know how she is," he said slowly.
"You told him?" I asked, knowing very well that Aro Cullen was not one to be left out of the loop.
"Yes, and he was a little pissed that you didn't," said Marcus rebukingly. "I don't think your mother was pleased that she had to hear it from me."
"Probably not," I agreed gently. Although my parents lived far away, they tried as hard as they could to be involved in my children's lives. When Bella had come to live with us, my mother had been frantic trying to get tickets down to Seattle before I'd persuaded her to give it some time.
Good thing too, since if those two had shown up on my doorstep to maul Bella, she'd have lost her mind right then and there.
Emmett might have gotten along well with my parents, but I doubted his shy, timid little sister would be the same.
"Dora wants you to call," he said. "They want to come out to help."
"Help with what?" I asked. "Esme and I have it covered."
"I don't know, Carlisle," said Marcus, sounding exasperated. "Your mother likes to help with everything. Maybe she thinks you need a babysitter?"
"I'll call her soon," I promised, sighing heavily to myself as the unanticipated conversation wormed its way into my schedule. "What about Uncle?"
"Caius doesn't know yet, unless Aro told him," he said. "Do you want me to call him too?"
"Call whoever you'd like," I said tiredly. "I don't really have the time to get into it with him."
Marcus laughed, knowing very well how his brother was. Marcus, I agreed with, but Caius?
Not so much.
"He's still family, though," I said grudgingly. "I guess he should know."
"Probably," said Marcus. "Where's Esme and the kids?"
"Gone back to the hotel," I said. "The kids were all tired and they needed to rest."
"You need to rest too, you know," he said. "Don't go overexerting yourself."
"I'm sleeping here tonight," I said.
"She's been moved?"
"She can have one overnight visitor at a time," I said happily. "Once she's awake and lucid, they'll let her have two if she wants."
"That's nice."
"I should go," I said. "If you talk to my mother, let her know I'll call soon."
"Will do," he said easily. "Keep me updated, Carlisle."
"I will. Bye."
"Bye."
The phone clicked softly as Marcus hung up, leaving me alone with Bella in the room once more, the dial tone beeping out of the phone at a steady rate.
I'd forgotten all about calling my worrying, sensitive mother back in Volterra. No doubt she and my father were having a fit, not knowing what was going on.
They loved all six of their adoptive grandchildren, the youngest and newest one included. No doubt they'd make up for years of missed Christmases and birthdays this year with some lavish presents…
…her birthday. Today was Bella's seventeenth birthday, and she was spending it in the hospital, unconscious and intubated. Esme and I had put some brief plans together for what we would have done for her, if she'd been back at the house. A few months back, we'd discussed flying my parents in from Italy and her family in from Florida to meet the new addition and celebrate with us. No doubt Alec would have come out, despite his and Esme's falling out.
Even if Alec would have brought his aggravating wife, he'd have kept her under control around the kids at least… it could have been a great day for everyone, if none of this had ever transpired.
…but there. There was no use mulling over could-have-beens. There was only sense in examining the present situation, and how we might make the best of it now that it had happened.
Gently, I slid the hard plastic chair closer to Bella's bedside, sitting the phone back on the small nightstand beside her. Once my chair was at an appropriate distance, I sat back down, gently taking the pale little hand in my own.
My hand dwarfed hers and when I squeezed it gently, the last thing I expected was for her to squeeze back.
But she did.
"Bella?" I asked, excitement growing in my chest at the very thought.
Another gentle squeeze before it slackened once more, not so much as a twitch coming from her.
"Can you hear me, Bella?"
Nothing.
"Sweetheart?" I placed her hand back down, watching her intently for signs of movement.
Her fingers twitched, and I felt myself smiling widely.
She was waking up.
"Squeeze again if you can hear me," I said eagerly, taking her hand once more. I held it close, desperate for any signs of movement.
She squeezed again, holding it for a tad longer than she had before. Almost as soon as it slackened, I felt her fingers wiggle as she acclimated herself to the feel of another's hand.
"Take your time, honey," I encouraged, elated by the fact that she could probably hear me now. Sure, we'd all spoken words to her over the last six days, but all of them had gone unheard.
She grunted, and I was quick to stop her. There was no way she was speaking with a tube down her throat, and as soon as she figured that out, she'd be sure to panic.
"Don't speak, honey," I warned. "You're at the hospital in Seattle, and they've got you intubated."
She stirred even more at the word "hospital", and I gently tried to soothe her.
The very last thing she needed was a panic attack in the cardiac ICU after undergoing a heart transplant.
"Eleazar's taking very good care of you," I soothed. "Esme and Emmett and Alice and the others were all here not two hours ago, but you were still asleep. Take your time to wake up."
Her eyelids fluttered and before long, they opened, revealing the glazed brown eyes we'd all been dying to see.
She tried to speak again, only then coming to terms with the fact that she was unable. Instead, she shifted her confused gaze to me, questions undoubtedly building up.
"You're in Seattle," I repeated. "It's September thirteenth and you've had some problems."
She glanced down at herself, determined to find the source of her problems.
"You had a bad episode with your heart," I explained, trying my best to keep my words simple and not too worrisome. "The paramedics took you from the house and you were airlifted here so Eleazar could take care of it."
She glanced down at the gauze on her chest and I saw the emotion rising- confusion, sadness, anxiety and then, more than anything, fear.
"Don't panic," I said, beginning to panic a bit myself. "Please don't. You're doing much better now."
She watched me questioningly, glancing up at the IV pole.
"You're on a nutritional supplement, saline, immunosuppressants and a morphine drip," I said quickly. "You'd be in trouble, otherwise."
She grunted again.
"Don't speak," I said again, resting my hand on her hair. "Just try to take it easy."
I looked around for the call bell, unable to locate it.
"Are you sore at all?"
She shook her head minutely, looking very tired.
"Tired?"
Yes.
She glanced down at her body questioningly again.
"You've had surgery," I said delicately, watching both her visible and physiological reactions. "It was a big deal."
She looked fearful again, and I fought with myself.
Did I tell her now, or let her find out later?
"You've had a heart transplant," I explained. "Your heart stopped working and they gave you a new one."
She stared at me, baffled for a moment before she closed her eyes and tried to speak once more.
"There's a tube, sweetheart, you can't talk just yet. Eleazar needs to make sure you're able to breathe on your own before they can take it out."
She shifted a bit, having very little energy to do much else.
I glanced at the pillow, determined to find that bell.
"Hold on, alright?"
She nodded slightly, watching me with wide eyes as I moved to the doorway, my eyes trained on the nurse.
"She's awake," I said, earning me a wide smile as the nurse made her way around the desk. She followed me back in the room, her eyes trained on Bella.
"Hello Isabella, I'm Marla," she said. "Do you know where you are?"
She nodded yes.
"Are you sore at all?"
She shrugged, glancing at me warily.
"Marla's your nurse," I explained. "She's been here all day."
Bella didn't ease up, but she did turn her attention back to Marla.
"Are you tired?" asked Marla, coming to examine the EKG machine's output. Bella nodded quickly and she smiled sympathetically, taking her free hand gently.
"You'll be able to rest soon," she said. "Just let me get Doctor D in here before you doze off so he can take a look at you."
Bella simply stared in wonderment as the kindly nurse left the room and made her way to the nurse's station to get a hold of Eleazar.
She looked at me again, her eyes teary.
"Everyone'll be glad you're awake," I said. "We've been worried about you."
She looked away quickly, blinking rapidly. I saw her glancing around the room, taking in her surroundings.
Her eyes fell on the large whiteboard, filled with Eleazar's instructions to the nurses.
She watched me, then looked back at the board.
Smart girl.
"I'll find you a pen and a paper," I said. "Hold on a minute."
She nodded briefly, fighting sleep and morphine once more as she watched me leave the room and head to Marla the nurse.
"Do you have a pen and paper she can use?" I asked.
"She should be resting," said Marla gently. "She doesn't need to be writing."
"She has something to say," I said impatiently, determined to give Bella whatever it was she wanted.
"Alright, but make it quick. She doesn't have much strength yet."
"I know," I chuckled, "but she's stubborn."
Marla wordlessly handed me a wrapped pad of paper and a pen.
"Be sure she washes her hands after," she said. "There's sanitizer on her nightstand."
"Thanks."
Quickly, pen and paper in hand, I made my way back into Bella's room putting the back of her bed up a bit and rolling her table in front of her. I gently placed the pen in her hand and directed her to the paper, watching as she tried her best to articulate words onto the page.
Jake?
"Jake's at home with Marcus," I said easily. "He's doing just fine. Marcus told me not twenty minutes ago that Jake had eaten his shoelaces."
She gave a feeble laugh and it warmed me to my very core.
Alice?
"Everyone's at a hotel resting," I said. "It's ten at night."
She nodded, looking very concentrated as she thought of whatever else she might need to write.
"Happy birthday," I said gently. "We've got presents for you when you come home."
When do I go home? she wrote.
"I don't know yet," I admitted. "It depends on how well you do and when you can be extubated."
Ex what?
"When they take the tube out," I said. "You need to be breathing and eating before you can leave."
The next word she wrote shocked me a bit.
Edward?
"What about him?" I asked, knowing very well I'd explained where the family was not a moment ago.
Is he okay?
"I'm sure he is," I said cautiously, not daring to tell her about his meltdown.
He cried, she wrote. I heard him.
"When was that?" I asked gently.
I don't know.
"He was a little upset when you first came out," I said, "but you were sedated then."
No, I heard him, she reiterated.
"He's fine now," I soothed. "He was just upset."
He was upset more than just one time, she wrote, her brows drawn into a frown as she scrawled slowly and sloppily. I heard him.
In that moment, I wondered how much Esme and I really knew about how Edward was dealing with this issue.
How many times had he cried without us knowing?
"Bella?" The familiar voice came from the doorway, giving Bella a little fright as she glanced over, taking much of her energy to focus.
"Writing?" asked Eleazar, amused. "Most people focus on resting."
I want to know, she wrote, flashing the paper at him. He nodded gently, moving the paper out of her way.
"Are you groggy?" he asked gently, checking her monitors and IV.
She nodded, her eyes dropping dangerously as she fought sleep.
"Sore?"
She shrugged, wincing as she tugged her incision site.
"Careful now," he warned, placing a soothing hand on her shoulder. "Don't move around too much."
She simply fell limp, watching him cautiously.
"You'll be feeling better soon," he said, moving his gloved hand towards her front. "I'll check the incision for signs of infection before I go and then we'll let you rest."
She tensed, glancing at me.
"I need to go put on some protective clothing before he starts," I warned. "I'll be back in a moment, unless you'd like me to go."
She shook her head quickly, forcing Eleazar to intervene.
"Careful," he warned again, making sure she hadn't misaligned her breathing tube. "Carlisle and I will step out to gown up and we'll be back in a moment."
She simply watched with wide, observant eyes as Eleazar and I left.
"She's very lucid," he said, impressed as he began to don the sterile clothing.
"She mentioned hearing things earlier on," I said easily, putting my gown on. "She must have been in and out of it for a while."
"Could be," he said simply, finishing up easily. "I'll redress the wound and then we should let her sleep."
"I will," I said quickly, knowing very well that no matter how much I wanted her awake and coherent, she needed rest.
The two of us went back inside and Bella's eyes widened significantly, looking torn between amusement and alarm. I went back to her side as Eleazar exposed her front, keeping her modesty intact by keeping her breasts covered. He gently peeled back the tape and gauze, exposing the angry flesh bit by bit.
Bella watched in horrified amazement as her chest was uncovered and the stapled front exposed.
"Looks good," he said gently, making sure she was showing no signs of infection. "I'll swab it and make sure nothing's going wrong, but it looks just right."
Bella looked positively green as she looked away, focusing intently on the ceiling instead of Eleazar's steady hands.
"It'll heal over," he soothed. "It'll be just a scar before you know it."
She grimaced at the mention of scars, her eyes drooping once more. Eleazar reapplied the gauze, disinfectant ointment and sterile tape before he covered her back up, gently drawing her blankets up closer to her chin.
"Get some rest," he said. "We'll see about getting that tube out in a few days. Have a good night, Carlisle."
"Thanks," I said gently, watching as he left. I moved towards the bins outside the room and peeled off the yellow papery suit before I moved back inside, making sure I sterilized my hands before I did. Bella, on the verge of sleep, gently straightened the pen on her table before I rolled it away.
"Here," I said, holding the hand sanitizer out to her. "You'll need to use this much more often now."
She looked at me, confused, holding out her hands. I gently squirted one blob of the pungent, clear gel into her palms and instructed her to rub them together.
She did so with only a bit of trouble, her eyes falling promptly shut.
"Goodnight, Bella," I said, smiling widely as her eyelids stopped shifting and she returned once more into oblivion.
A/N: Phew... finally a new chapter! I aim to write much more often now that school's coming to a close. You all know I was sick for a long while (thus, no writing), and after I got better (a few weeks ago), I spent most of my time getting all of my homework done. Now, I graduate high school next week (June 23rd) and I have my exams (supposed to start tomorrow, but my only exam is on the 21st). I've also had a bad few weeks despite not being sick, since we found my neighbour dead in his apartment (very gory and very sad... he was a sick man) and was interviewed by the police (because it looked so much like a crime scene and not the scene of a natural death). We had his wake and funeral earlier this week, when I planned on finishing this chapter. After that, there was a bunch of housework to do (I had, and still have, dishes and laundry coming out my ears!) and I have a family birthday out of town this weekend. I don't think my life has ever been this busy!
Anyways, I hope to have the next chapter up sometime after graduation (probably Saturday the 25th), though I can't make any promises. It could be sooner or a bit later!