Part III, Chapter VIII: Guidance
[In which Rey's plan goes slightly awry, and Luke tells his nephew to listen to the dark side.]
~o0o~
Kylo Ren opened his eyes lazily. He felt profoundly at peace, perfectly quiet, perfectly calm. He was lying on his side, and curled into him snugly, skin on skin was Rey, fast asleep, breathing calmly. They were both stark naked. He had his arms around her, his face buried in her hair. She had her legs tangled in his. He could feel her slow, steady heartbeat pulse against his arm.
It was a perfect moment.
And he knew then that he had dreamt of this exact scene, months ago, when he had just captured Rey on Ahch-To. Not a dream then - a force vision. A promise of things to come, though he had not understood it at the time. Had he always been headed for this point, even then? Had the force led him here? Where was it leading him now? More importantly, where was it leading her?
Time flowed back. Someone was coming, he suddenly realised.
There was a noise at the door, and an instant later it opened - no surprise there, since he had not bothered to lock it. What was surprising was that anyone would be brazen enough to march into Kylo Ren's quarters without knocking or waiting for permission.
It became a little less surprising when he realised it was General Hux, followed by a squad of guards all dressed in white, face obscured by masks and half-helmets. Divinators from the Respite, Kylo Ren realised instantly, pushing himself up in his bed and instinctively laying one hand protectively on Rey's shoulder. What were they doing here already?
"Ah. I can see you wasted no time in picking up your lessons with her right where you left off, Ren," Hux said with an insufferable smirk at finding confirmed what he had long suspected. "Anyway, terribly sorry to interrupt, but an escort has arrived sent by the Supreme Leader to pick up your little toy, highest priority."
He felt Rey's anger rise, dark and hot, as she shrunk back against him under the blanket, and he hurriedly sought to calm her through their bond to avoid escalating the situation. But really, he was not faring much better at quelling his own fury.
"You will leave my quarters immediately and wait outside," Kylo Ren both ordered and force-compelled the men. The General he hardly expected to comply - not only were they evenly ranked, but Hux had trained himself to withstand mind tricks. But to his great irritation, the squad of Divinators behind him made no move to obey, either.
"I gave you a distinct order, soldiers," he growled, pressing down on the group with the force for good measure. But they would not budge, and Kylo Ren realised that they, too, must have been trained specifically to withstand force coercion. Trained by Snoke, most likely, which told him the Supreme Leader's patience was well and truly up, as was his trust in his disciple when it came to Rey.
"We are under direct orders from the Supreme Leader himself," the leading Divinator informed Kylo Ren. "We are to take the prisoner with us, immediately, no delays. The transport pod is waiting outside your quarters."
Hux's triumphant look at him and his unabashed stare at Rey was almost too much to bear. Scowling, Kylo Ren reached for his trousers next to the bed and slipped inside under the blanket. Rey, too, had gone for the nearest piece of clothing which happened to be his own black tunic.
This is it, he heard her think, and felt her anxiety spike, though she had probably not meant to communicate it.
Remember the force bond, what I told you earlier. If you find yourself overwhelmed, use my knowledge and my power on top of your own. I will do all I can to help. Kylo Ren told her, increasingly growing nervous as their situation began to really sink in. Rey would be taken away, right now. No time to prepare her, to smuggle her saberstaff into the pod alongside her, to teach her how to lower her life signs to fake being sedated, no way to place a tracker on her for him to follow- wait. He had a tracking device on hand, had he not?
In a moment of clarity, Kylo Ren reached for his own belt and, as Rey disentangled herself from the blanket and got up from the bed, handed it to her.
There's a tracker inside. Put it on and don't let anyone take it off.
She met his gaze thin-lipped and wide-eyed, and took it silently. While she was still busy securing it on her, one of the Divinators stepped towards Rey and without further warning, jabbed a syringe into her neck. The last glance Rey threw Kylo Ren before her eyes rolled up back into her head was one of panic - this was not going as she had planned, they both knew it. Once sedated, there was no reason for Snoke to let her wake up ever again, and the First Order had quite the advanced knowledge on sedatives. Not even Luke Skywalker had been able to beat the drugs in his body during his imprisonment on the Finalizer.
I'll be fine. Her last clear thought reached him before she folded up - brave despite herself to the last minute. She was caught by two Divinators and carried outside.
Kylo Ren slipped into his boots and a shirt, grabbing his lightsaber. He needed to arm her somehow, unseen. He could not hope to smuggle her staff into the pod at this point, it was too big, too obvious. But the handle of the Skywalker saber was just slightly larger than the length of his hand.
Think. Find a way.
The Divinators were just putting Rey into the pod outside Kylo Ren's quarters when he emerged, with Hux looking on in satisfaction as Rey was strapped down with the pods' restraints. Kylo Ren saw one of the guards put an IV needle inside her arm, securing it with medical tape.
"I told you you wouldn't get to keep her, Ren. Your personal interests have jeopardised the supremacy of the First Order long enough," Hux said smugly, but Kylo Ren ignored him. He put down a small, towel-wrapped bundle inside the pod.
"I believe the Supreme Leader also told you he required me to send along this sample," he told the leader of the Divinators evenly.
"Ah, yes. We were just about to come to that. The Supreme Leader will be pleased to hear of your ready cooperation."
Kylo Ren narrowed his eyes, and he let the force snake around the man's throat. He would not be talked to like this, least of all by someone who was about to take Rey into the rancor's den.
"You reek of insolence. Do not presume to reward me for good behaviour when I could crush you where you stand."
The Divinator flinched visibly and gasped for air. Happily, the force still instilled the sense terror in the guards' minds that Kylo Ren's mere presence failed to, currently lacking mask and hood and having been caught in a rather embarrassing situation. No one, not even Hux, spent a thought on inspecting the package he had placed next to Rey while he emitted waves of pure murder.
Glaring menacingly for good measure, Kylo Ren let go of the man's throat and stepped back. The pod's lid closed on Rey. But just before it did, unseen, Kylo Ren reached out with the force and pulled the IV needle out of her arm again. Here was to hoping that the effects of the first injection would wear off during transport.
The Divinators saluted to both him and Hux, and then hurried off with their cargo down the corridor. Kylo Ren watched them go, careful to keep his face absolutely blank under Hux' triumphant smile.
"Don't pine after her too long, Ren, it was fun while it lasted, wasn't it? There is a High Command meeting scheduled at 1400 hours. You'd best get your head straight until then."
"Thank you for your concern, General. I will make sure to be prepared."
Calmly, Kylo Ren turned back into his quarters. He got dressed fully - plain dark clothes instead of his usual robes - gathered Rey's saberstaff, and finally placed his helmet, his outside face for many years, onto the desk in the middle of his room. He would not need it anymore from here on.
Then he made his way to the Anthelion's Hangar Bay 3, where he knew Hux' command shuttle was parked, ignoring the curious looks he earned from passing crew - curiosity that changed into astonishment and hurried disinterest in those that recognised him as Kylo Ren.
Sure enough, the shuttle's records still held the frequency of the position sensor on his belt - Hux had used it to track and save him after he had nearly died on Starkiller Base, after all. Kylo Ren picked up a datapad, copied the tracker's frequency and called a map of the galaxy onto its screen. The scanners did not pick up anything right now - also not surprising, since the Respite escort had most likely already gone into hyperspace. But he had a lead now, and as soon as the scanners did pick up a signal, he would be on his way.
Before that, though, he needed to make one other trip.
~o0o~
The Resistance Base on D'Qar had seen quite a busy couple of weeks. Only a short while ago, the Resistance had gained an unexpected victory over the Finalizer during the battle of Ahch-To. In its wake, the supposedly captive Rey had shown up in a stolen TIE fighter, only to vanish again one day later along with the little droid BB-8, without a word to any of her friends. Then, informants had brought reports that the First Order's largest prison, the Fortress,had suffered some kind of attack - and shortly after that, a First Order command shuttle had showed up over D'Qar with none other but Luke Skywalker on board, BB-8 trailing proudly behind as the legendary Jedi made his way across the airfield towards his sister.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, the Resistance was still in a buzz two days later, and even less surprisingly, rumours were running wild among those who were not as well-connected with the principal figures in these events. But D'Qar was about to receive an even more unexpected visitor.
Luke and Leia, holed up together in the General's study, felt it before the TIE fighter was spotted over the Resistance base. Later, Leia would not quite remember how she hurried outside, her own heartbeat pounding in her ears as she watched it land under the careful scrutiny of the guards. Luke had told her what Ben had done, but a part of her still thought it was a dream.
It was really him, though. Her long-lost son, come home.
Absolute silence fell on the airfield as the tall, dark-haired man emerged from the vessel. Few here had ever seen Kylo Ren in person, and fewer still knew of his personal connection with the leadership of the Resistance, so to most people, this man was a stranger. But with the way Luke Skywalker walked up to meet him, and the way General Organa was rooted to the spot, slumping slightly against the frozen figure of Chewbacca behind her, even the most clueless spectator realised they were witnessing something incredible.
"Poe," Finn murmured, half leaning on his crutch, but more leaning on the ace pilot next to him, his soft address almost being drowned out by BB-8's staccato beeps.
"I know," Poe Dameron replied hollowly, feeling rather weak himself as he stared at the protagonist of so many of his nightmares across the distance.
"What the hell is going on?"
~o0o~
Whatever the rumour mill was saying about who he was and what he wanted, Kylo Ren was glad to find that when he left his mother's study hours later - late at night, feeling many things, but primarily exhausted beyond belief - nobody assailed him for information. Either they dared not, or they had no words.
Or so it seemed at first. It turned out there were two people waiting for him down the corridor, after all - the two men who, aside from Rey and his own family, he had made to suffer most: the pilot Poe Dameron, and the stormtrooper defector. The traitor, Kylo Ren shook his head slightly as he walked towards the inevitable confrontation. A traitor like himself.
"That is Rey's saberstaff," FN-2187 stated, staring hard at him and the staff Kylo Ren had slung across his back. The man was still leaning on a crutch after the injury to his spine Kylo Ren had inflicted, but tried to stand up as straight as he could. Kylo Ren could pick up anger and anxiety radiating off the man, even without going anywhere near his mind.
"Where is she? What have you done to her?" FN-2187 demanded aggressively.
How come you are walking around this place as if you own it? How come the General has not locked you up in the deepest cell we have? Those were other questions hanging in the air, but clearly not the ones concerning FN-2187 the most. He felt too strongly for Rey to care about anything else, Kylo Ren could tell that, too.
"What has she told you?" Kylo Ren replied, fighting down the sudden spark of jealousy he felt at remembering how Rey, too, had always been filled with a happy glow whenever she thought of this man. Now was not the time. Anyway, it seemed from FN-2187's reaction to his question, Rey could not have shared much about her time with the First Order with him.
"I can make a good enough guess, you son of a-" Finn started, and swallowed the last bit, probably less out of respect for him rather than for General Organa.
The trio stared at each other wordlessly for a moment, until - incredibly to both Finn and Poe - Kylo Ren looked away.
"It is not my story to tell."
He could not bring himself to say more, or to utter an apology to the two men for what he had done to them. It would have sounded wrong, shallow. Now was not the time for this, either.
Unimpeded by further addresses, Kylo Ren made his way outside, briefly checking his datapad to see whether the signal of his tracker had reappeared. Luke was out here, somewhere. It had been hard for him to find words for his mother, and just as hard would it be to find words for Chewbacca, who was not disposed to forgive him as easily. The wookiee was avoiding him, that much was clear, as unable to face him as he was to face Chewie in return.
It was strange how Luke, of all people, was easiest to talk to. Kylo Ren found him out on the airfield in his own command shuttle - the one he had told Luke to commandeer after the events at the Fortress. The Resistance had not been idle. Rey showing up in a TIE fighter had been one thing, but the personal shuttle of the Supreme Leader's right-hand man was not only fitted with the First Order's most advanced technology, but also held a wealth of information in its logs and computers. In the few days it had been on D'Qar, Resistance technicians had set to work to pick it apart, dismantling and studying it and stripping it of every piece of intel. Kylo Ren sighed softly as he took in the extent of the damage. This shuttle would not go anywhere in a hurry.
The overly eager technicians were not around now, but his uncle was, sitting in the pilot's seat and evidently enjoying the feel of the shuttle's controls in his hand. As Kylo Ren climbed aboard, he turned around.
"State of the art, really. I have to say, Ben. If you had told me the First Order offered such nice rides, I might have been tempted to join you after all."
"Please, uncle," Kylo Ren said softly. "It is hardly appropriate to joke about this."
"Suit yourself," Luke shrugged. "I thought you'd appreciate a little light-heartedness after all the heavy talk. Chewie was here earlier. Left when I told him you were coming. He does not know how to deal with you. Unlike Leia and myself, he does not understand what the dark side can do to people like us."
People like us. These words helped Kylo Ren more than any feeble joke might have. Truth to be told, he had not been entirely sure why he had come to D'Qar at all. Maybe a part of him was sure that, when the tracking signal appeared, he was going off to his demise, and he wanted to set at least some things straight before the inevitable.
"I gave mother the frequency upon which to pick up on the tracker's signal to the Respite, as well as information and locations of the major First Order bases and ships. She will give me time to settle things. After that, she is free to do with the information as she pleases."
Luke nodded distantly. Kylo Ren knew that, however much his uncle had been drawn into this matter, at his heart he still wanted to stay out of the conflict between the First Order and the New Republic. This was not his battle to fight - not really. No matter how much Leia hoped for it, all Luke wanted to do was to help and heal those closest to him, not to lead them into war.
"What are you going to do once you get to the Respite?" Luke asked.
"Save Rey." Kylo Ren's answer came without thinking, but Luke shook his head.
"Not good enough. Think. There is a reason you came here, to D'Qar, to me. You are sure in regards to Rey, but you are wavering in regards to yourself. You are still looking for guidance."
His uncle was sharp as ever, Kylo Ren realised. Yes, it was true. At the core of it, there was one simple truth.
"I am not ready to face Snoke. I don't know how."
"Well, it is not strength in the force you lack," Luke remarked.
"No, not that," Kylo Ren agreed, and that, too, he knew to be true. He was strong, stronger now than he had ever been. "It is… how should I put it? Conviction, perhaps."
"You feel like considering your heavy sins, you are the last person in the galaxy to call Snoke out on his."
Once more, Kylo Ren was taken aback by how astutely his uncle knew to break his own convoluted thoughts and worries down to a simple few words. He nodded silently.
"Ben. I'm going to tell you something which you will find odd," Luke said. "It is this: when you are standing before him, I want you to listen to the dark side."
'Odd' was an understatement for what Kylo Ren considered Luke's words to be.
"Don't gape at me like that. It is really quite simple. You are so focussed on atoning for your own crimes that you are forgetting the ones that have been committed against you. I want you to face those first, before facing Snoke. Leave your own guilt at the door. Don't make it about politics. Don't even make it about saving Rey - she must face her demons on her own now, just as you did."
"But I made her-" Kylo Ren protested, but Luke cut in sharply.
"No! I told you, there will be no time for guilt when you face Snoke. This is about him, and yourself. Confront him with what he, personally, has done to you, personally. The dark side will help you see it. It will tell you to feel rage. To take revenge."
Kylo Ren stared in amazement at the Jedi.
"And then, of course, put it aside," Luke said with a wink. "Choose compassion. I only just got you back, after all."
It was this moment that the datapad lit up and gave a soft notification sound. Kylo Ren's eyes snapped towards the map, zooming in. From deep within the Unknown Regions, a signal was pulsing softly.
"Well, this is it. I shall leave you younglings to it," Luke said, getting up from the pilot's seat and turned to leave. "You can't help Rey beat her own inner darkness, but you can help her find closure. Show her a place to come home to, and so the force wills it, she will claw her own way back to the light. That is where she really belongs, after all."
Thank you, uncle.
Kylo Ren was only just beginning to make sense of Luke's words, but he had no more time to contemplate them now. Snoke was bound to find the tracker on Rey eventually, would understand what he had done, would realise his betrayal by seeing her wield his saber if he had not caught on to it already by way of his unaccountable absence from the Anthelion. In any case, he needed to get to the Respite as soon as possible, before Snoke destroyed the tracker and moved his station to some other location. Since his command shuttle clearly wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, the TIE fighter he had arrived in would have to do - the hyperdrive ring he had used to get here was still in orbit around D'Qar.
Luke had already vanished somewhere when Kylo Ren emerged from the dismantled shuttle and made his way across the dark airfield to the TIE fighter parked a little ways off. As he was about to climb inside, he felt Chewie draw up behind him. The wookiee emitted a questioning moan.
"No, not really." Kylo Ren replied without turning around. "I will do all I can to save her, but I don't expect to make it back."
He could probably have dodged the blow, but decided to take whatever Chewbacca felt he needed to dish out. The force knew the wookiee deserved to rip him apart. It was only for their past history, and him being Han Solo's son, that he came out on the other side of that punch alive. Chewie growled as Kylo Ren picked himself up and finally faced his father's oldest friend.
"Yes, I do deserve that, and worse," he admitted. "But I have to go now."
Chewbacca moaned again, accusingly, and Kylo Ren found himself bristling at the insinuation.
"Good enough to get me to the Respite," he said. Yes, piloting was but a means to an end for him, and he had never understood neither his father's nor his uncle's obsession with flying, but it wasn't like he was going off to a starfighter battle. The wookiee crossed his arms and, with another moan, nodded curtly into the darkness. Kylo Ren was dumbfounded.
"No. I'm not taking the Falcon, and you are not coming. This is something I have to do on my own."
The wookiee was in his face so fast and close he was forced to take a step back instinctively. Right.
"You will stay safely here on D'Qar and-" The mind trick Kylo Ren attempted on Chewbacca served only to enrage the already irritated wookiee further. His punch this time was even more forceful than the first, and Kylo Ren saw stars for a moment as he slumped against the hull of the starship. Chewbacca's growl was low and threatening.
"Right. The Falcon it is."
Chewbacca moaned, sounding a lot more satisfied.
And so it happened that Kylo Ren boarded Han Solo's ship once more, briefly spending a thought to the last time he had done so on Starkiller Base. It felt like a lifetime ago. But he had decided - he was going off to fulfill his grandfather's legacy, and what better ship to use to this end than his father's?
Ben Solo's fingers instinctively found their way across the Falcon's control board where Kylo Ren strained to remember. As Chewie sat down in the co-pilot's seat next to him and the Falcon took off, he could have sworn he felt a flash of Han Solo's presence behind him.
~o0o~
[to be continued]