"Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."-The Bible (King James Version), Proverb 16:18
Chapter Synopsis: At Lincoln's behest, the Loud family goes to the Michigan State Government Corrections Department to visit Lynn
The next day, the Louds head off on their arduous 165-mile journey to Muskegon, MI. After a few hours, they find it… the Michigan State Government Corrections Department. Vanzilla almost broke down…it couldn't even take a trip to the grocery store, let alone a 165-mile journey! They enter and talk with the guard.
"State your business here." The guard says gruffly
"Visiting an inmate." Lynn Sr responds
"Yeah?" He shoots back "Which one?"
"Lynn Loud Jr." Rita declares
The guard has a frozen expression, he then says this…
"Why would you EVER want to visit that…thing? Look, her crime isn't the worst thing, people who've committed mass murders are in here, they at least show SOME emotion. But HER? Nothing…just a dead stare…it's like…she's not even HUMAN…are you still sure about this?" The guard asks them
Lincoln approaches the guard…
"Yes, we're sure."
"Ok, it's your funeral. You don't have anything on you, do you?" The guard asks
"No." Everyone replies back
The guard leads them to the visiting area, he gets on his walkie talkie…
"Bring in prisoner 131164!"
A guard on the other side of the glass barrier brings Lynn Jr in the room, then moves toward the door, he stands guard.
"Alright, each of you gets 15 minutes."
The track Forgotten Legend from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney begins to play...
Luan and Lily approach the glass, Luan holds the telephone to Lily; Lynn Jr picks up her telephone and listens.
"How are you, sis?" Lynn Jr questions
"In, y did u budgen 'Inkin? Donut u wuv hymn?"
"I don't know what you're trying to say, Lily…"
"Lynn, why did you bludgeon Lincoln? Don't you love him?" Luan translates
"Lily…I know you don't want to hear this, but…no, I don't love Lincoln. I never have, and I never will." Lynn answers
"Y do u ate hymn?"
"Why do you hate him?"
"Because he's a blight on our family! A boy in a family of girls, what a joke!"
"Wat a bout hymn?"
"What about him?"
[Lily points to Lynn Sr]
"Dad? I love him."
"if u ate mails enuf too kyl tem, wood u kyl r dad?"
"If you hate males enough to kill them, would you kill our dad?"
"No, I wouldn't."
"Sew, u just ate 'Inkin?"
"So, you just hate Lincoln?"
"Yes"
"Did u want too kyl 'Inkin frum the tart?"
"Did you want to kill Lincoln from the start?"
"Yes"
Upon hearing this, Lily starts to cry. Seeing her baby sister cry, Lynn sheds a few tears. Whether they were fake tears or genuine, no one knows, but I think they were real. Luan calms Lily down.
Lisa takes the telephone from Lily, Luan moves from the seat and Lisa sits down.
"So, did you fix Lincoln's AC system?" Lynn questions
"No, I won't go along with your asinine revenge scheme!
"Fine, you slipped the protoanemonin into his I.V if he lived, right? That was our plan."
Lisa nods.
"Finally, it's over, he won't be able to hurt anyone else… but…me beating him up should have killed him…"
"Lisa…I know you hate me, but thanks. I knew you would do the right thing and made sure Lincoln was brought to justice. You have my gratitude."
Lisa hands the telephone to Lola and moves to the side.
"This is all your fault, you know." Lynn taunts to her
"Lynn, stop deluding yourself. We all watched the trial. Everyone saw you admit that you were the one that killed Lana." Lola confidently states
"You were the one who made the Trinity of Violence; By the way, Lincoln didn't come up with that name, Lana did, but…she has a point. Us 3 were harsh toward him."
Lola is done talking, she hands the telephone to Lucy.
"What ARE you?"
"Your sister, genius."
"No, a "sister" would protect their siblings, you didn't."
"Well Luce, you didn't brighten up Lincoln's day."
Lucy flashes a magatama at Lynn!
TAKE THAT!
…
("No psyche locks…I guess she willingly broke them during the trial…")
Lucy hands the phone back to Luan…
"I've got a question for you. Do you think the worst person can change? That everybody could be a good person, if they just try?" Luan postulates to her, reminiscent of a certain final showdown in a certain overplayed videogame.
"I've already tried to befriend everyone. Lana…was the only one who could make me feel something other than emptiness. I even tried to help you guys out in the past…but still, nothing happened. I still felt dead inside."
"Well…" Luan says "You killed one of our sisters and tried to kill our brother." Luan glances at her through the glass wall "It's a good thing the justice system caught you, because if they didn't…" Luan pauses "Kid…you are gonna have a bad time next April Fool's day, because I will NOT go easy on you at ALL! You might have a chance at dying during some of those pranks, and don't worry about our siblings. I would've told them where the pranks are, but not you…" Luan gives a cold, piercing stare
Y-o-u d-i-r-t-y s-i-s-t-e-r k-i-l-l-e-r...
"You think you're any better?!" Lynn challenges "Remember all the pranks we suffered through on April Fool's days past?!"
"We aren't so different! We both enjoy the suffering of others!" Lynn shrieks at her
"Schadenfreude and sadism are completely different. I derive pleasure if my pranks lead to a series of escalating mishaps that happen to be quite humorous. You on the other hand…you literally get off on our suffering! You are wracked with a perverted sentimentality, aren't you, you deplorable creature?!" Luan deduces
Hearing Luan tell off Lynn like that evokes a strong memory buried deep in Lincoln's subconscious. A memory he'd rather forget. May 3, 2016…Royal Woods Elementary had a video contest for their 5th grade classes. This contest was Lincoln's way of finally proving to his family that he is just as good as his sisters! But he couldn't beat a video of a hamster running around on a wheel. It somehow became a viral video within the 5th grade, it got at least 60 votes! While pondering about how to make a video that's better than Hamstacam, this happened.
"We've had the camera on all day! Where exactly is this comedy gold?" [beat] "Clyde? Are you listening to me?"
"Sorry, Lincoln. I was just worried that Lynn was going to accidentally step on that rake, resulting in a series of escalating mishaps."
"That's great, Clyde, but- series of escalating mishaps?!" [hides in a bush to film Lynn]
[bouncing a soccer ball off her head] "56...57...58...59..." [steps on the rake and gets hit] "Ouch!"
[The ball bounces off a pole and onto her face, sending her flying onto a trampoline where she bounces off and lands in the soda pool]
"That was hilarious!"
Lincoln realizes he was heartless that day, putting the contest over his siblings. To make it up to them, he humiliated himself to be on the same level as them again (though Lynn though he put himself LOWER than them with the embarrassing video). Luckily, his sisters forgave him and even gave him a trophy (though it WAS a pity trophy) for being a great brother! Although, the experience still haunts him to this day, and will always haunt him for the rest of his life.
Luan hands the receiver to Luna and walks away.
"Hey, dudette. What made you hate Lincoln so much?"
"He was born."
…
"Lynn…go to hell." Luna says in a tranquil voice. She's lucky there are guards and a glass barrier protecting her, otherwise Luna would beat her within an inch of her life for saying that! How dare she insult their brother in front of the one sister who's seen as his protector!
Luna angrily slams the phone into Leni's hand and storms off.
"A corrupted mind, an emotional turmoil, an empty soul…that's the Trinity of Violence… purple, red and black, the malevolent color trinity. A calm demeanor, A love of life, an inclusive personality… a Trinity of Virtues… cyan, sap green and white, the benevolent color trinity. But you… you've blamed Lincoln for Lana's death, you let your anger get the best of you time and time again, and with such a disdain against any moral principles! You are dead inside…but, you won't be able to hurt anyone else anymore." Leni succinctly deduced, leaving everyone speechless, their mouths agape, knowing that LENI LOUD gave such a profound statement!
Leni hands the telephone to Lori.
"You know…thanks to Lana, I became a better sister to Lincoln."
Lynn smiles "Well, I'm glad she was able to help you."
"Do you think Lana would have liked seeing you murder Lincoln?"
Lynn locks eyes with Lori and dejectedly looks down. It seems she is feeling remorse! No one, not even Lynn herself expected this!
"No…but, I have to make sure nothing like this happens again…for her…"
"Don't worry, you've already did it."
Lynn nods.
"By the way, someone wants to see you." Lori states to her
Lincoln emerges from behind his sisters and walks up to the wall. Lynn freaks out.
"AHH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! I KILLED YOU!" Lynn shrieks
"Lynn… I want to know…"
Lincoln taps his pointer finger to his forehead.
LOGIC CHESS; BEGIN!
The VR chessboard reappears, using the red and black instead of its usual blue and black design.
Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident begins to play...
16 black queens surround Lynn Jr in the shape of a tower!
"Why do you hate me?" Lincoln asks
"Because you ruined our family!" Lynn asserted with all the confidence and authority of a decorated war general!
Lincoln's feeble pawn charges one of the queens, but gets deflected away. Even when Lincoln reasons with her, his queen gets deflected away! She simply won't respond to him. The match is over…Lincoln can't do anything…no one can. Lincoln is heartbroken! Even if she tried to kill him, Lincoln still considers Lynn his sister! The other sisters comfort him and escort him outside.
LOGIC CHESS; COMPLETE…
With all the siblings having talked to her, the guard escorts her to her cell; Cell 47, G block…she is placed back into solitary. Lynn knows Lincoln is alive, that means her sacrifice was all for naught! She sings softly to herself…it sounds like Reminiscence: IS-7 Incident.
It... It's… It's over… it couldn't be, could it?
Is this the end?
I failed you, my sweet
I'm ashamed of my defeat
So, it's true?
The times that we shared;
That you made me care
Always smiling happily;
Our perfect family
It was because of him it ended so mercilessly
He took your life and shattered it violently
All his fault
I will make him pay for…
What he's done,
Lana...
He threw me off my game
Now nothing will be the same
Lincoln is the one to blame
He is our family's shame
Wearing that dumb squirrel suit
Is my plan to retribute
Why'd you have to interfere?
Lincoln does anything he hears
Because you broke the lucky streak
Your future was looking bleak
I'll always be by your side
Committing a fratricide
So, we'll finally decide
Our family will have clear minds
Now…
Suddenly, another voice joins in! It sounds so harmonious and peaceful… It feels familiar somehow…
It... It's… It's over… it couldn't be, could it?
Aren't you my friend?
Why do you act so dour?
Lincoln gives our family power.
Why refuse?
My sister, that's true;
I should be happy for you
Being infantilely brash;
Stop acting so rash
It was because of you he ended up in ICU
This murder plan, why'd you follow through?
It's my fault
I made Lincoln suffer…
My brother…
Lynn...
Lincoln suffers day and night
To try and end our pointless fights
He is the one who is right
He dispelled our sibling strife
Truly, there is no other
That's greater than my brother
I'll protect him till the end
This is why you will never rend
I knew that they'll go farther
If only they had a martyr
Lincoln, use my sacrifice
It'll be enough to suffice
End everlasting suffering
And enjoy the peace it'll bring
Finally, …
Lynn recognizes the voice! Lana's ghost materializes in front of her. Lynn breaks down crying.
"Lana…I'm so sorry! I just wanted you to stop helping him! I only wanted to scare you! I…"
"I forgive you…" Lana assures her "That was an accident. But…I wanted to grow up with them…you took that away from me…"
Lynn bawls uncontrollably. She takes a moment to compose herself and start talking to Lana again. This time, Lana speaks.
"Do you know what I CAN'T forgive, though?"
"What?"
"People who hurt my family."
Lynn realizes she messed up…bad! Lana continues.
"I saw what you did to Lincoln, I wanted to desperately save him from you, but…since I'm a ghost, I can't do that. I could have beaten you up then, but you'd probably ignore it and continue trying to murder him. Just, how…how could have you done this? My own sister?" Lana begins to tear up "I gave up my life, so that Lincoln could have a better one. Everyone else realized their mistake and wanted to help him, why couldn't you?"
Lynn tries to muster up the courage to say something to Lana, but can't…she's about to start crying again.
"I was in that ICU every day for 42 days, hoping that our dear brother would wake up…do you know what would have happened if he died? After everyone's done grieving, our siblings will get into a fight and even more dysfunction will corrupt the house! Luckily, I intervened enough so that either Lori or Leni will be the new peacekeeper if Lincoln died, but if I DIDN'T? Well, with no Lincoln, I would try to do his job, but no one would listen to me as well as they'd listen to him, so eventually, our bonds will shatter, and we'd hate each other. A "broken home", I hope that that will never happen to us." Lana clarifies
"So…you were trying to fix our family…" Lynn Jr reasons
"Yeah, and you were trying to destroy it since 2005." Lana quips sarcastically "You've hated Lincoln ever since he was born! I can't believe that you hate him that much!" Lana exclaimed
"He doesn't deserve a sister as amazing as you, Lana!" Lynn Jr yells at her
"No…Lincoln doesn't deserve a sister like YOU, Lynn." Lana asserts back
"…"
"Well, now I know what to do… Lynn… I disown you as my sister!" Lana shouts at her
Lynn is shocked! She knows that she tried to kill Lincoln, and that is an egregious crime to anyone, but to Lana, this is the ultimate betrayal! One of her family members attempting to take the life of another…unthinkable! Lana always understood the preciousness of life, which is why she was eager to martyr herself (even though she didn't WANT to die, she just wanted to make everyone get along and see the results) to Lincoln; He is the one keeping the family together (albeit very loosely). It doesn't help Lynn's case that Lincoln and Lana have a super strong bond to one another!
"You know, I used to admire you. I wanted to be like you…" Lana begins to state
"You…wanted to be like me?" Lynn asks, bewildered
"But now? I can't even look at you. How can I respect someone who is willing to murder their own sibling?! You disgust me…" Lana said with utter disdain for her former sister. Lana doesn't see her as a harsh, but well-meaning person. She sees her as a manipulative, violent sociopath who'll destroy anyone in her way to get what she desires!
Lana's sorrow gradually turns into a tranquilly serene fury. She still has a calm demeanor… she looks at Lynn with a smiling glare. It looks like Lana is happy, but that glare really means "you hurt my brother, I will get payback for him, you're fucked now!"
"Here's a parting gift from me to you, Lynn." Lana said as she hands her a small ghostly robotic thing "It's the SB-129 bot or Suicide Blocker: Mark 129." It prevents ALL forms of suicide! So, you can't weasel your way out of your punishment. I can kill you right where you stand…but no, death is too good for you. You'll suffer in here for the rest of your life. Here's another thing…" Lana elucidates
Lynn feels a searing pain on her feet, the letters "KR" are burned onto her left and right foot, respectively. She can feel a slight pain whenever she walks.
"To explain, here's an entry from one of my favorite video game series. "#229: Houndoom; The flames it breathes when angry contain toxins. If they cause a burn, it will hurt forever." Those KR marks, they'll make you feel like you have fourth degree frostbite. It also has a necrotic effect, it will encompass your feet until they become dead weights; Fitting, since that's what you see our brother as. If you try to amputate it, it will just move somewhere else, so don't fight it, just accept it. That freezing pain will never go away, so now you'll endure the pain Lincoln suffered when you shattered his hands!" Lana declares with finality "But…it feels like there's something missing…" Lana gets a psychotic smirk on her face, one that could rival Luan's April Fool's day face! I guess she does take after Luan. "Oh yeah…payback…you hurt my brother, so I'm going to hurt YOU!" Lana says sinisterly "You took away Lincoln's chances of being a father, so I'm going to pay you back in spades! Honestly, I'd be afraid if I was your kid, but I won't let such evil continue further. It's highly unlikely that you'll be able to reproduce in solitary, but I'll make sure that this evil dies with you!"
Lincoln has had the same thing happen when he fought Chandler. Lana is pretty chill when talking about the Loud siblings. she's hard to anger, but if you do…well it's going to end badly for you, because Lana is the second strongest of the Loud siblings (only behind Lynn Jr). A surefire way to make her mad is to hurt her pets or her family. But no one would be stupid enough to do…oh, wait…
Lana approaches Lynn menacingly…
"This is for spreading that rumor and forcing Lincoln into that ridiculous costume!"
Lana delivers a fierce left hook to Lynn's right breast. She recoils back, but seems to have handled that well.
"So, you have gotten stronger…congrats." Lynn compliments
"Your sycophancy won't spare you…" Lana assures her
"This is for depriving my family of me!"
Lana delivers a brutal right hook to Lynn's left breast. She winces in pain from the severity of the strike.
"Lana, I love you!" Lynn blurts out
"Maybe you should have shared some of that with Lincoln, no…you shared LOVE." Lana corrects herself
"This is for corrupting our family!"
Lana delivers a savage uppercut to Lynn's thoracic area. Lynn is sent flying and lands on her back. Lana approaches her…
"And this…this is for Lincoln…you bitch."
Lana stomps down as hard as she can on Lynn's vagina. The force was so strong you could hear the organs inside being squished! There's massive internal hemorrhaging on the vaginal walls and on both parts of the labia. There are major tears on the uterus and minor tears on the fallopian tubes. The ovaries and cervix were completely destroyed, and there is severe damage to the exterior, but it's covered by blood.
A horn beeps from outside. Lana recognizes it.
"Well, that's my ride…goodbye forever, Lynn."
Lana leaves to go with her family back to Royal Woods. Lynn is left bleeding on the floor of her cell.
"You really are the best sister ever, Lana."
That was the last thing Lynn said before passing out due to the excruciating pain. Oddly, she seems to have a peaceful expression while lying in that pool of red and white…
Author's Note: Before we begin the author's note, here's a comprehensive list of events from every episode of the Loud House that might prove Lynn is a sociopath or not. This list may be updated as new episodes come out, but here are the ones for the released episodes. If Lynn helps the Loud siblings with anything, there might be an ulterior motive for her behind the scenes.
01: Left In The Dark: When Lincoln gives Lynn the helium football, he says "for the extreme player who demands more." Lynn's response is "I demand more!" This means that she'll never be satisfied unless she's the best at whatever sport she's playing in. She's also a hypocrite, as when Lincoln inadvertently causes the blackout, Lynn mocks Lori for being scared of the dark, only for Lucy to blend in with the darkness, pop out, and jumpscare her, causing her to get angry.
02: Get The Message: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
03: Heavy Meddle: Lisa berates Lynn's lack of intelligence, which Lynn takes note of. But here's the sociopathic trait for this episode. To deal with Lincoln's bully problem, Lynn suggests fighting her, she even volunteers to teach him some self-defense moves. What a great sister, right?! Wrong, because she tests said moves on HIM. Lincoln's bully is the least of his problems...
04: Making The Case: Lynn's pride is showing again...she has TWO of the nine spots of the trophy case dedicated to her! Admittedly, Luna has 2 spots of the case too, but it depends if you think a gold record is worth more or less than 2 trophies and a certificate (spot 5) or 2 trophies and a ribbon (spot 7). For reference, Luna has 2 trophies in spot 1 of the case, and her gold record is in spot 3. Also, Lynn is the unintentional catalyst for this episode, as Lincoln's bad memory reminds us. This one is partially justified as Lynn (as well as the other sisters) ostracize him for humiliating them for the contest. Lynn admits that Lincoln's video of him humiliating himself to put him on the same ground as his sisters was way worse than the original video.
05: Driving Miss Hazy: The first of the "ulterior motive" episodes. Lynn helps Lincoln teach Leni how to drive. Not out of the kindness of her heart, but because she too was sick of doing chores for Lori. Although she had to buff out Lori's foot calluses so...maybe she had the most to gain from Leni getting her license?
06: No Guts, No Glori: A 2-for-1 deal on the sociopath special! First is Lynn teaming up with Lincoln and the other sisters to overthrow the tyrannical Lori for her ulterior motive. Later on in the episode, when Lincoln realizes her harshness was the only thing that brought balance to the Loud house with their parents gone due to a date night, he tries to follow in Lori's footsteps, only to be laughed at by the other siblings. Lynn even mocks him by saying "who do you think you are, LORI?!" Then she laughs.
07: The Sweet Spot: This quote from her sums it up quite nicely. "You're going to possess a bruise in a minute!" All Lincoln wants is the only good seat left in Vanzilla. It's not his fault Lynn Sr won't get rid of it because it was his father's father's van.
08: A Tale Of Two Tables: Actually, she's not that bad in this episode. This episode is eschewed.
09: Project Loud House: She tries to do sporty stuff with Lincoln and she doesn't attack him (well, she tried wrestling him, lucha libre style, but he dodged). This episode is eschewed.
10: In Tents Debate: An ulterior motive episode, although she and 4 others also have the same motive. To convince Lincoln to vote for Dairyland amusement park, she gives him a massage to convince him. Lynn is the strongest sibling...she is also not a trained chiropractor. What I'm getting at is that she could have broken some of Lincoln's vertebral disks, either on accident or on purpose! Luckily, because this is a kids show, Lincoln comes out of it fine. But just imagine if Lynn accidently made Lincoln a tetraplegic. She also turns his hot water cold to sabotage the other team.
11: Sound Of Silence: The 1st of the Fatal 4; Lynn makes Lincoln think he agreed to spar with her. Naturally, she kicks his ass. The original plan was that Lynn was going to march into Lincoln's room and tear the earbuds from him, presumably while they were still in there! This could permanently damage his cochlea and make him deaf for the rest of his life! Thank god Lola managed to convince her otherwise...
12: Space Invader: THIS EPISODE... this is why I think Lynn is a sociopath. It's nothing but Lynn being an obnoxious jerk to Lincoln without any remorse to him whatsoever! She doesn't even thank him when he gets her and Lucy to make up! Why do some people ship these 2, again?!
13: Picture Perfect: A rare role reversal where Lincoln is the antagonist of the episode. Lynn does nothing wrong here. This episode is eschewed.
14: Undie Pressure: She's conspires with the other sisters to make Lincoln lose the bet. She has no personal stake in this, she just wants to help Lola make Lincoln miserable. She isn't even bothered by Lincoln reading comics in his undies. Lola is the only sister that can't tolerate his annoying habit.
15: Linc Or Swim: Lynn chooses Lincoln to be her "chicken fight" partner, despite the fact that she knows he's weak, when compared to her. It's kind of telling when Lincoln's fantasy has her pair up with Luna instead.
16: Changing The Baby: Lynn wants Lily to be her sports buddy. There are many things wrong with this. One, Lily's a baby, so I don't think baseball is a safe sport for her...or any sport, for that matter. Two, and this is the most egregious, Lynn pitches while Lily bats. But Lily's wearing a helmet in that scene, I hear you say. My counter argument is that Lily's forehead isn't protected. There have been documented cases where people have died due to errant fastballs slipping past the safety equipment (most infamously, the Ray Chapman incident of August 6, 1920). Lynn might have KILLED Lily because of her carelessness. Luna and Lisa are guilty of this too.
17: Overnight Success: Lincoln is his own antagonist in this episode. This episode is eschewed.
18: Ties That Bind: This one could go either way. On the one hand, Lynn took Lincoln's betrayal the hardest, eating a Lincoln pancake to show her anger (Lincoln made that to bribe his dad into keeping him over his sisters). But she also vouches for Lincoln to stay along with the other sisters. This one is up to your interpretation.
19: Hand Me Downer: Ok, Lynn is justified for being angry here. Lincoln stole her bike to show off and got it lost. Lynn is cleared from suspicion on this one. This episode is eschewed.
20: Sleuth Or Consequences: Lynn mocks his Ace Savvy costume, insults him when he accuses her for clogging the toilet and possibly clogs the toilet at the end of the episode (though that last one is an insult to US, the viewers, for watching that episode).
21: Butterfly Effect: Dream episode, doesn't count.
22: The Green House: While all of the sisters waste energy in frivolous ways, Lynn's has the potential to cause most harm. She fills up a pool and freezes it to train for hockey. What does she use to freeze the water? The refrigerator. You know, the one where they keep all of their food. We don't know how long it took to freeze the pool, but if it was more than 4 hours, then ALL of their food would've been spoiled! And as we know from a future episode, the Louds only have $200 dollars to spend on 13 family members. Also, the refrigerator shouldn't have worked. Even though there's a plug sticking out of it, the cable wouldn't be long enough to get from the kitchen to the backyard where the pool is.
23: Along Came A Sister: Lynn helps the family keep Frances away from Leni, this episode is eschewed.
24: Chore and Peace: Granted, ALL of the sisters go on strike, but that was to stop Lincoln from screwing up the balance of chore duties within the Loud house. All Lincoln wanted was a less difficult chore, though as we see, all of the chores are equally hard. This one is another one that can go either way, depends on if you want to punish all of the sisters or not.
25: For Bros About To Rock: Lynn is her usual jerky self, but this time, it's not toward Lincoln, it's toward Luna! She calls Luna nuts when she tags along to the other sister's first concerts. Lincoln learns later on in the episode that it's because her first rock concert made her into who she is today.
26: It's A Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud, House: The 2nd of the Fatal 4; This episode is what happens in Viacom's office everyday, just replace the Loud siblings with Viacom CEO's and executives. As for the actual episode, the Loud siblings fight over money. All of them defend their rooms in different ways during the hunt for the money, but Lynn's is pretty brutal. When Lincoln asks for a status update on the whereabouts of the cash, Lynn yells at him to get out of their room and fires a tennis ball launcher like a machine gun at him! Lucy got hit about 5 times due to being in the crossfire. And this was after Lynn used Lucy to scout the laundry room to find said greenbacks. In that encounter, Lincoln startles her and made her drop Lucy, she later apologized to her after that, but she didn't apologize for the tennis ball incident. She also threatened to shove Lincoln down the laundry chute for snooping around.
27: Toads And Tiaras: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
28: 2 Boys And A Baby: Lynn does appear in this episode, but she doesn't do anything aside from looking miserable from going to Aunt Ruth's. This episode is eschewed.
29: Cover Girls: Lynn begs Lincoln to finish her spring cleaning so that she can hit the first ball shot from the batting cage's new pitching machine for good luck. Could this episode have foreshadowed No Such Luck by showing how serious Lynn is with her superstitions?
30: Save The Date: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
31: Attention Deficit: Lynn interrogates Lincoln about how different he looks. He admits he's been spending time at Clyde's and Lynn decides to tag along the next day. Also, she said that if her arm wasn't sore from the McBride's vaccinations, she'd punch him! One would assume this is a friendly dig in the arm, but knowing Lynn and how she gives her all into everything, she most likely would have punched him as hard as she could have!
32: Out On A Limo: Hypocrisy at it's finest. After Lincoln realizes he's been as big of a jerk as Lord Tetherby, he apologizes to Kirby, the chauffeur, and manages to get one last ride from him. Once he tries to repair the broken promise of taking his sisters to a fast food restaurant known as the Burpin' Burger, Lynn says "I thought he only had it for a day! We gotta put up with more of his attitude?" Ironic, since Lynn has a smug attitude most of the time within the show. It doesn't feel so good to be on the other side, doesn't it?
33: House Music: Lynn is okay in this episode. This episode is eschewed.
34: A Novel Idea: Again, Lynn is tame in this episode. This episode is eschewed.
35: April Fools Rules: Nope, all of the siblings run away from Luan. This episode is eschewed.
36: Cereal Offender: All of the sisters cause havoc at the supermarket. Lynn causes chaos by riding on a grocery cart saying "yippie ki yay, market shoppers" in a reference to Die Hard. Once Lincoln convinces her to eject, she lands on marshmallows, while Lincoln lands on pineapples, though that last one shows us that Lincoln kind of has bad luck...
37: Lincoln Loud: Girl Guru: All of the sisters eat his chocolate. How many bars did they eat if Clyde said there was enough chocolate for 84 pies?! But we're here about Lynn. In a flashback she attempts to asphyxiate, or at least annoy, Lincoln by covering him and releasing a Dutch Oven under the sheets.
38: Come Sale Away: Applies to every Loud sibling, but they sold everything in their house. I think even though that they live in the house, it would count as Rita and Lynn Sr's property, so technically, the Loud kids might have broken a law or 2...
39: Roughin' It: In a flashback, Lynn teaches Lincoln to lift a heavy trashcan. She lifts it and throws it...onto Lynn Sr. It's Lynn's fault for not seeing him, and Lynn Sr's fault for walking directly in front of the trashcan.
40: The Waiting Game: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
41: The Loudest Yard: An ulterior motive episode, but Lincoln convinces her to do it. Lincoln wants to just play video games and read comic books all day, but Rita wants him to exercise, so she signs him up for junior football. After a training montage, during which she makes him eat raw eggs, which would have killed both of them from salmonella poisoning, since Lynn drank them too. They go the park and meet 2 members of the opposing team, the Hazeltucky Hockers! After getting belittled by them, Lincoln convinces Lynn to take his place for the entire season. She's only doing this for the glory, she even admits she's doing 4 other sports at the same time. Problem is that Lynn only knows how to give 110%, so now the Loud family thinks Lincoln is a star football player. During the final game, their ruse is exposed. It all worked out for Lynn though, the coach wanted her back on his team next season!
42: Raw Deal: At Grand Venture State Park, Lincoln becomes hypochondriatic due to Lucy predicting that "his day will end in tragedy". Upon being annoyed that he's taking so long to hike up a simple trail, Lynn yells "Lincoln! Get your butt up here!" To which he replies "Shh! You wanna cause an avalanche?" Her response is to shout as loud as possible at him. Lincoln's fears are borderline paranoia in this episode, but what would have happened if Lynn actually caused a rockslide with her yelling? Lincoln would have died for real! Of course, it's just a normal trail, so there's no chance of that happening.
43: Dance, Dance Resolution: Lynn was so bummed out that Ronnie Anne didn't ask Lincoln to the dance, so she got him a date. Unfortunately, Luna, Luan and Lucy also got him a date. And worse, Lincoln didn't want Ronnie Anne to ask him so he could take advantage of the 2-for-1 deal at Gus' Games and Grub. Lynn's date is just a different character model with Lynn's personality. But maybe this is a good thing, cause Rusty hooked up with her, and he isn't exactly a ladies man, even if he claims to be one.
44: A Fair To Remember: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
45: One of the Boys: No difference between either boy Lynn and girl Lynn, even though this is a dream episode, I'm still counting it because Lynn pantsed him for no reason other than it amused her.
46: A Tattler's Tale: She teams up with Lincoln and the other sisters to stop an even greater threat...Lola.
47: Funny Business: Lynn got fired from Funny Business Inc. by throwing a watermelon at Luan during her juggling act. Luckily, Luan wasn't too mad, otherwise April Fool's day might've come early for her. Also, she and Lana laugh when Lincoln pratfalls. Lana is 6, and is close to the target demographic to find that funny. Lynn on the other hand is 13, she shouldn't find that as funny as Lana did, so my hypothesis was that Lynn wasn't laughing because of the pratfall, she was laughing because Lincoln intentionally hurt himself!
48: Snow Bored: She made Lisa take a sled ride operated by her. This is Lynn we're talking about, so of course she pushed the sled with all of her strength on the course she made. Unfortunately, the surface on the course was frictionless, so the sled sped down the track like greased lightning and ejected Lisa out! If she didn't land in the soft snow she would have died from the impact, as you can tell by the imprint left by her crashing into the snow, it went pretty deep...
49: The Price Of Admission: Lincoln tries to stay awake by having a basketball exhibition match with Lynn. She won 52-0, but Lincoln wasn't even trying. She's ok in this episode. This episode is eschewed.
50: One Flu Over The Loud House: Unintentional, but she infected Lana by drinking straight from the orange juice carton! Totally intentional, she knowingly got herself infected after Lori sneezed on her basketball!
51: Study Muffin: Admittedly, she's one of the tamer sisters, but like all the other sisters, she is obsessed with Hugh.
52: Homespun: In a flashback, she wanted everyone to cannonball into a hole filled with floodwater from a storm. First, we don't know how deep the water was. If it was shallow, someone could have broken a bone! Second, as Lori so abrasively, but honestly put it "Ew! I'm not swimming in grody basement water!" She's right, we don't know what pathogens are in that filthy water! They could have gotten infected with some terrible disease! Of course, Lori joins in once Lynn finds an earring that Bobby gave her.
53: 11 Louds a Leapin': Lynn's subplot within the episode is that she and Lucy are trying to abscond with their Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. Normally, you're supposed to wait until Christmas before opening them. Through this action, both Lynn and Lucy hath committed the sin of avarice (or greed, if you prefer the simplified version). Lynn so far has encompassed 4 of the 7 deadly sins. Those being wrath, pride, gluttony and greed. It's not looking good for her...
54: Intern For The Worse: You know how in the service industry when they say "the customer is always right?" Lynn both uses and abuses this. She demands that someone should get provisions for her and her baseball team, of which there are about 22 members, including Lynn herself and Margo. Clyde somehow manages to satisfy them all.
55: The Old And The Restless: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
56: Baby Steps: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
57: Brawl In The Family: The 3rd of the Fatal 4; All of the sisters get into arguments over petty things, while Lincoln unintentionally adds fuel to the fire.
58: Suite and Sour: Lynn has a competition with Lana to see who can reach the bottom floor first. They break both elevators (though Lana technically won by being 1 floor lower when the elevator broke), thus setting off a whole chain of events that gets the rest of the Loud siblings in trouble. She also breaks the fancy shower by accident.
59: Back In Black: She destroys Lincoln and Rusty's science project to force Lucy and Rocky to hang out. Even if Lucy wanted to hang out with Rocky, that was still a pretty jerky thing to do. Also notice that none of the sisters react to this, still being happy that Lucy might be able to be friends with Rocky. This shows what's more important to them...
60: Making The Grade: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
61: Vantastic Voyage: Lynn joins up with the rest of her family to convince Lynn Sr that Vanzilla is a pile of junk that needs to be replaced. It works, but now Lynn Sr is obsessed with the new van, so the rest of the Loud family conspire to get Vanzilla back. This is an ulterior motive episode.
62: Patching Things Up: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
63: Cheater By The Dozen: This one is a rarity among episodes, Lynn joins up with the siblings because they all care about Lori. Even though Lori beat her up with a stale loaf of bread one time, they still try to look out for her. This episode is eschewed.
64: Lock 'N' Loud: Lynn berates Leni for flirting with their fake burglar. Justified in that this would probably get you shanked in real life. Lynn also helps Lincoln pour congealed bacon grease on the "burglar" (really, just Lynn Sr in a hoodie). Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that they didn't know about bacon grease's explosive properties, as old WW2 grease drive propaganda tells us. Just light a match and...well they pretty much have a homemade bomb to attack the burglar with! As for the episode, Lynn does it to protect her family and her belongings. This episode is eschewed.
65: The Whole Picture: Lynn is nice to Lincoln...for this episode. This episode is eschewed.
66: No Such Luck: The 4th and final Fatal 4 episode; This episode is the one that catalyzes all the events that lead into Sycophant. Lincoln feels overburdened having to go to so many of his sisters' events back to back over a long period of time (we don't know how long exactly, but lasts AT LEAST a month). Once he tries to escape, he runs into Lynn who threatens him by brandishing a wooden baseball bat at him. If he didn't agree, Lincoln's head would have made a great substitute for a baseball. Luckily for Lincoln, he agrees. Lynn loses the match and when Lincoln tries to console her over her loss, the bitch claims that he's bad luck, even Lincoln thinks it's ridiculous! Next, when Leni tries to encourage Lincoln to go to her charity fashion show, Lynn claims that he's bad luck because SHE lost the game. Lincoln, just wanting some alone time, confirms it. Leni then spreads the lie around and everyone is afraid his bad luck will affect them. If Lincoln refused the lie however, it wouldn't have made much of a difference, because if Lincoln wouldn't have spread it, Lynn would have, until someone else spreads it around and we're back to the original outcome. At least Lynn acts genuinely afraid of him. Once Lincoln is kicked out of the house, he comes up with the plan to sneak into one of Lynn's baseball games to prove Lynn's superstition wrong. Once Lynn wins this game, she apologizes to Lincoln halfheartedly (though it's because she's never had to admit she's wrong before) and they all go to the beach to celebrate the success of their dad's work presentation. Lincoln isn't considered bad luck anymore...but only when wearing the squirrel suit. I'm neutral on this episode, but it made me realize what a heartless bitch Lynn really is. Also, I consider Lola to be a secondary antagonist in the episode, she's basically Lynn's mouthpiece, constantly reminding everyone that Lincoln has bad luck.
67: Frog Wild: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
68: Kick The Bucket List: One of Lincoln's activities was to prepare a sandwich with Clyde. Once Lincoln finishes it, Lynn comes in and comments on how the sandwich is 6 feet. Lincoln tries to eat a small portion of it, but when the camera pans to show Lynn, she's already eaten half of it! Lynn ate about 36 inches of sandwich! She's a carbo-loading glutton! Unless the sandwich was off by a few inches (Subway doesn't have foot longs, they have 11-inch sandwiches, what a rip-off!) she just ate the equivalent of 3 foot-long submarine sandwiches in a single sitting! How can a normal person even fathom that?! Also she belched into Lincoln's face just to be an obnoxious jerk to him.
69: Party Down: Lynn plays with the twins and isn't mean at all! This episode is eschewed.
70: Fed Up: An ulterior motive episode. All of the Loud siblings sabotage Lynn Sr's cooking so that he'll order pizza for them. Lincoln tries to cook for them to prove to Lynn Sr that it's possible to make more than 7 meals and it backfires horribly. After feeding everyone a nausea inducing potluck of miscellaneous food which was so terrible that everyone spit it back out, Lynn has the balls to ask if they can have pizza again!
71: Shell Shock: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
72: Pulp Friction: Debatable, but I think Lynn helped Lincoln retrieve his comic book from principal Huggins for the same reason Lola picked the lock to the detention room, to become famous if Lincoln managed to win the contest. On an unrelated note, how was Lola able to pick the lock if Lana couldn't in the episode "Frog Wild"? Also, Lynn managed to snag a raccoon instead of Lincoln's comic, but Lynn didn't intend for that to happen.
73: Pets Peeved: Lynn does appear in the episode, but the main focus is on the pets. This episode is eschewed.
74: Potty Mouth: Ulterior motive episode, but it's not HER motive, it's their parents'. The Loud siblings try to "delete the "D" word" from Lily's vocabulary before an interview between the owner of a prestigious daycare that their parents tried to get into ever since Rita was pregnant...with Lori. The attempt didn't work, because even though Lily was just trying to say "donut" (or doughnut, it has 2 different spellings), Charles steals it, causing Lily to swear for real. Even though it was censored, I think Lily said "fuck" when Charles steals her precious dessert. Bad doggy!
75: L Is For Love: Her idea of a love token is a jockstrap. Needless to say, it goes horribly wrong when her crush gets blinded by it and wanders, and somehow falls, into a trashcan. Obviously, she didn't intend for this to happen. She also agrees with Lana that Lynn Sr is a dork (although, have you seen the way he acts in the show, they're not entirely wrong).
76: The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
77: Out Of The Picture: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
78: Room With A Feud: It seems like she'd get along great with Lana, but no. Lana's snake slept on her lucky jersey and ate all her protein bars. Upon hearing this, Lynn snaps a hockey stick in frustration. Just replace said hockey stick with one of Lana's bones and you can see how terrible she can be. Apparently, Lynn is the most compatible with Leni, of all people! She also helped Lana move Lincoln back into his room while he was asleep.
79: Back Out There: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
80: Spell It Out: She interrupts Lucy's séance by practicing her crewing. She also stores her sports equipment in Lucy's coffin/secondary bed. Karma finally strikes her when she gets kicked off her crewing team because she couldn't direct them. She couldn't direct them because she lost her voice cheering for their grandfather's win at what is presumed to be the most epic shuffleboarding match of all time, at least, it should have been, if it was able to make all of the Loud siblings cheer hard enough to temporarily lose their voices.
81: Fool's Paradise: Luan terrorizes the Loud siblings again. This episode is eschewed.
82: Job Insecurity: This one applies to all of the siblings. They all agreed that they ruined many things in Lynn Sr's life. They listed off his workplace's "take you sibling to work day" (foreshadowed in "A Novel Idea), his 40th birthday, his college reunion, a roller dance competition, his colonoscopy and, in this episode, got him fired from the Aloha Comrade Hawaiian/Russian fusion restaurant. They thought that he was working a job he hates (being dishwashing), but it was actually him working his way up to his dream job (chef). Once the Loud siblings tell Lynn Sr this, he tries to reassure them that they actually make his life better. Luckily, Lynn Sr's cooking was so popular with the customers of the restaurant that head chef Sergei immediately promoted him to sous-chef (he said "co-chef", but that's because the only chefs working there that we see are Lynn Sr and Sergei himself).
83: ARGGH! You For Real?: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
84: Garage Banned: Lynn broke Lucy's bust of Edwin's fangs, and Lucy wants her to pay to fix it. She then promptly tells Lucy that Edwin isn't real and to get over it. It seems that even to Lucy, Lynn is an uncaring bitch. Edwin might not be real to her, but Lucy covets that statue more than anything (except maybe Lincoln). Lynn is roommates with Lucy, so she should know how important Edwin is to her.
85: Change Of Heart: Lynn threw a Frisbee that somehow hit Clyde in the nose, which sparks a series of unfortunate events that make Lori think that Clyde is crushing on Leni instead of her. This one is debatable depending if you think this was an accident or on purpose.
86: Health Kicked: This one applies to all of the siblings. The Loud kids want their parents to stop being lazy slobs (which kind of makes Rita a hypocrite in this episode, getting Lincoln to exercise in "The Loudest Yard", but the inconsistency is probably because Kevin Sullivan wrote this episode, while Bob Mittenthal wrote "The Loudest Yard") so they try to get them to exercise. It backfires, since now, all Rita and Lynn Sr do IS exercise, and they force their kids to work out with them for a solid week! Lynn helps in tricking their parents so the Loud siblings don't have to exercise anymore! Though, Lynn should be the one who enjoys exercise; I guess she can't take 7 days worth of intense training...
87: Future Tense: Lynn is pretty tame this episode. All she does is complain about being forced to be "well-rounded", just like the other siblings. This episode is eschewed.
88: Lynn-er Takes All: This is the quintessential episode to explore Lynn's character. The premise of this episode is that Lynn wins almost as much as Lex Luthor does in Superman 64! That's not the problem though...the Loud siblings can handle Lynn winning. It's her unsportsmanlike gloating they can't stand! She even gloats in everyone's face and calls them losers. She even shaves the word "loser" on the back of Lincoln's head! So, the other siblings team up to take her down. First, Lola challenges Lynn to a game of Pretty, Pretty, Pageant Queen, which Lola almost wins, but thanks to Lynn reading the instructions, finding a Phoenix Wright-esque loophole and some ridiculous luck (ironic, I know), she gets the auto-win condition of rolling 3 10's! Lisa even said the chance of that happening is about 1/1720 (it would have been higher if Lynn didn't interrupt Lisa to gloat about actually getting the instant win condition, thus telling us what the odds actually are). Second, Lana challenges her to a game of Plumbing Pro (a plumber themed Operation), Lynn messes up once, but after hearing that she gets 2 chances, she runs outside, self-motivates (and possibly harms) herself, and manages to pull out everything. Lastly, Lincoln challenges her to an Ace Savvy Trivia game, where Lynn proceeds to PSYCOLOGICALLY MANIPULATE him, to get him to mess up, and it works! They resort to using "The Settlers Of Cat-Land" (based of the game Catan) to beat her by not giving her anything. The siblings thought this would stop the gloating...it didn't. Now, Lynn turns EVERYTHING into a competition to regain her lost edge. The siblings decide that the only way for things to go back to normal is to play Cat-Land again and throw the game, which Leni does, hilariously. Lynn realizes that her siblings see her as both a sore winner and a sore loser, and does absolutely nothing with that information, as the episode ends with Lynn gloating again! The only difference is that she doesn't do it to her siblings faces! At least they're happy with this...
89: Yes-Man: She, along with the rest of the sisters, ask Lincoln for help to get money from their parents. They also held a SMOOCH themed rock concert as thanks for helping them. They even managed to get the real SMOOCH to make a custom song for him. Now THAT is dedication. The only thing I can think of that Lynn did wrong was using unnecessary roughness on Lynn Sr during their basketball game. This episode is eschewed.
90: Friend or Faux: Lynn's only appearance in this episode was having a friendly exhibition hockey match with Margo. She didn't do anything remotely mean this episode. This episode is eschewed.
91: No Laughing Matter: She got annoyed by Luan's constant pranks, but then again, wouldn't you if you had to deal with Luan for about a decade? Still, all of the siblings tried to cheer her up after she quit comedy (which happened because she overheard them venting their frustrations, they felt horrible when the found out she was listening. :( This episode is eschewed.
92: No Spoilers: She, along with Lola were tasked with making food for Rita's surprise party. In Lynn's case, she made a submarine sandwich with chiles and Montezuma hot sauce atop it. When she tasted it, she BREATHED FIRE from how spicy it was and STILL said it wasn't spicy enough! Lincoln calls her out on this, but Lynn got offended and would have beaten up Lincoln had Lori not broken up their fight.
93: Legends: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode. On another note, oh my god, Legends of the Hidden Temple! I loved that game show!
94: Mall Of Duty: Lynn does appear, but she had rugby practice, so she didn't have time to torment her siblings. This episode is eschewed.
95: Read Aloud: She, along with the rest of the family, tore into Lincoln for making them lose the reading contest. It's only until Lola intervened that they eased up on their harshness (Although, pizza was involved, so can you blame them?). This is a jerk moment for the entire family. Though 2 things bother me. One, the pizza was from A Chuck E Cheese rip-off, would it have really been that good? And also, why did Lola ruin some of the pizza's she made by putting pineapple on it (I know some people like it, but still...).
96: Not A Loud: Lynn herself doesn't appear, but a picture of her was pasted on her baby book.
97: Tricked!: Lynn helps the family get back at those 2 thugs that ruined Halloween for them. Coincidentally, the thugs are those 2 guys from the Hazeltucky Hockers football team in the episode "The Loudest Yard". This episode also revealed that the thugs' names are Hank and Hawk. But back to Lynn, this episode is eschewed.
98: The Crying Dame: She, alongside the rest of her family, can't stand that annoying singing Foxy lookalike doll (Its name in the episode is Fenton the Feel-Better Fox, but come on, it looks like Foxy from FNAF) and conspires with them to get rid of it. Like her family, she also realizes this is horrible because Lily is mesmerized by the thing. So, this episode is eschewed.
99: Anti-Social: Again, Lynn works with her siblings for an ulterior motive. But this time it's to stop Lynn Sr from cutting their internet (a fate worse than death). Unfortunately for the Loud family, this backfires horribly as Lynn Sr is now as addicted to the internet as the rest of his family. He even became one of those annoying people on Instagram that takes a picture of their food before eating it (his case is worse, he threw out a perfectly good pizza because he didn't get a photogenic picture). Worse still, he actually wanted to do stuff with them at the start of the episode. At the end of the episode, they break his addiction and they all hang out as a family. This episode is eschewed.
100: Snow Way Out: Lynn was going to disperse a noxious, and potentially deadly gas in her and Lucy's room, but this is completely unintentional on her part. This episode is eschewed.
101: Snow Way Down: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
102: Tripped!: Everything bad that happened in the episode all started when Lynn wanted to pass some old farmer who was going painfully slow on the road, which led them to crash into a ditch and kick off a series of events that would make Milo Murphy blush. Later in the episode, Rita insists that they help the farmer, since he had a flat further up the road. Lana seconded her idea and managed to convince the other siblings to help him out. Because this episode invokes Murphy's Law, Lynn Sr trips the emergency brake, which sends Vanzilla careening onto a car carrier, which drives off into the wild blue yonder. After several incidents involving performing a country blues song to raise money at an open mike night at the Mudflap Café, Leni accidently releasing a Sinaloa Cartel member, who looks like El Chapo's right hand man and Rita piloting a crop duster like a badass, they eventually get to the Weeping Willow Resort And Lodge, where they were planning to have their vacation, only to find out that they were 35 minutes late and didn't realize it because Lynn Sr broke his watch when the Louds were trying to reclaim Vanzilla. Just when it looks like the entire trip was all for naught, the farmer arrives and offers to let them stay with him as thanks for them replacing his flat. When Lola questions how he can do that, he reveals to them that he's not some random cherry farmer, he's Jerry Kling, the Cherry King. He is essentially the Jeff Bezos of the cherry industry and is so rich he booked the entire top floor. If Lana didn't convince them to help Jerry out, they wouldn't be able to have a vacation! This episode also proves to me that Lynn Jr and Lana are the antitheses to each other, since both of them are tomboyish, with the difference being that Lynn is an aggravator and Lana is a placator.
103: White Hare: She aids the sisters in interfering with Lincoln's hangout, and we all know what happened the last time the Loud sisters interfered with Lincoln's problems...since the episode even shows a flashback of it. Except it turns out to be a trick, and all of them wanted Lincoln to be himself at his hangout. This episode is eschewed.
104: Insta-Gran: One of the ways Myrtle tries to take care of the Louds is by doing stuff that would "make things worse". Lynn's case is the pettiest, as Myrtle took all of her dirty lucky jersey's to the dry cleaners and washed them, getting every stain out, to which Lynn replies "that's what made them lucky". Myrtle's response is "who needs luck with talent like yours"? Lynn's reaction is mild indignation. She also helps the siblings trying to get the smothering to stop by breaking up Myrtle and Pop Pop. She is the one the Loud siblings conscripted to send the Photoshopped picture to their grandfather. Also, this probably annoyed just me, but Lynn dresses up like a ninja while doing this and she says "hai" when doing something important. "Hai" means "yes" in Japanese. You don't say "yes" while doing something like bursting through a door (not even if you're Captain Falcon).
105: Roadie To Nowhere: Lynn makes a cameo appearance in this episode, and even then, it was to cheer on Luna and Chunk at the music competition. This episode is eschewed.
106: A Fridge Too Far: She fell victim to a blue paint bomb, but she did have it coming, as she tried to devour the chocolate cake that Rita hid under the couch. Presumably, she would have eaten the whole thing by herself, without sparing a morsel to anyone else. That cake was supposed to be used to celebrate if Lynn Sr got an investment from a famous food critic (which he did, by the way).
107: Selfie Improvement: Lynn ruined one of Lori's attempts to take a better selfie by hitting a baseball into her pink lemonade. When Lori chastises her for it, Lynn counter chastises her by saying she ruined her chances to score a double!
108: No Place Like Homeschool: As if waiting for the shower isn't enough torture, some of the siblings have to deal with Lynn practicing sports in the house (after all, what's the point of taking a shower if you're not sweaty and/or dirty?). She also tries to exploit the privileges of homeschooling just like the other siblings, even at the expense of Lola's sleep! Which leads to Lola being punished for helping her siblings! The other siblings feel bad and willingly withdraw from homeschool so that Lola can have a second chance, but wow. And we thought that Lola was the villain. It seems that Lola has gotten her redemption. Now we can only hope that the writers make one for Lynn. Otherwise, she might become the new villain, while Lola becomes an antiheroine.
109: City Slickers: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
110: Fool Me Twice: Lynn freaks out after her stunt double acts like a complete wimp and throws a tetherball match to Zach. She then laments her 300 win streak being broken (although, wasn't it broken when the siblings won "The Settler's of Cat Land" in Lynner Take All? If so, how did she rack up ANOTHER 300 win streak THAT fast?!). That being said, she didn't do anything malicious to her siblings (aside from the final revenge prank on Luan, although everyone conspired to pay her back after her improvised prank plan...) so this episode is eschewed.
111: Net Gains: This episode...this episode is the first one to try and rerail Lynn's character. She GAVE UP WINNING a championship basketball game, completing her FLIBBR (acronym for football, lacrosse, ice hockey, basketball, baseball and roller derby; It signifies which ones she won a championship for. Hopefully Lynn Sr was right about them not resetting each year) to have fun with her team (that Flip forced her to be on. Whether or not Flip knew Lynn was a great player, or just really didn't give a fuck about the game (he was in it to sell Flippee's™) but that was actually kind of smart on his plan). Bonus points for Lynn conning Flip to get better players, and then reverse conning him to try and fix her mistake. Her team got creamed 50-12, but at least it wasn't a total shutout. Pep and that other announcer from "No Such Luck" return in this episode. Thankfully, this seems to be an inverse to "No Such Luck". Maybe Lynn will start getting her own redemption arc, just like Lola did in season 2. But... one good episode isn't enough to make up for sixty-six bad ones...yeah, this episode is eschewed.
112: Pipe Dreams: Well, considering Lynn saved her parents' lives in this episode, it's safe to say that this episode's eschewed. On an unrelated note, Lynn's disgusted face, to me at least, is Nickelodeon's attempt to one-up the Yellow Diamond angry face meme from Steven Universe. Still not as good as the original.
113: Fandom Pains: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
114: Rita Her Rights: Lynn is just like all the other siblings in this episode. This episode is eschewed. On another note, does anyone find it disturbing that Rita is willing to resort to a reverse variant of Munchausen syndrome with her crime spree just to get away from her crazy family?
115: Teachers' Union: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
116: Head Poets Anxiety: When trying to help Lucy develop a thick skin, Lola complisults her by saying that she's been more moved by Lynn's farts than Lucy's poetry. It was supposed to be a double insult, but Lynn takes it as a compliment. What we're really here for is that when Lucy finds out about Luan's dream through Lincoln, she fakes being ill to not upstage her. When Luan goes to Lynn and Lucy's room to verify this, she fake coughs, to which Lynn replies, that was weak. Even though this is clearly shown to be fake, it brings up some disturbing implications in the future. What if someone had a dormant pathological disease and started showing emerging symptoms? Would Lynn say that that's weak, too?
117: The Mad Scientist: Admittedly, this episode is on the weaker side of the sociopath spectrum, as Lynn is just being her obnoxious self, but she at the very least the greatest nuisance to Lisa's work. While all of them annoy and interrupt her, they are a microcosm compared to her. Unfortunately for her, when all of them band together to do their decibel destroying activities, Lisa can't focus on her groundbreakingly revolutionary research!
118: Missed Connection: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
119: Deal Me Out: Lynn only appears in flashbacks, but she's unintentionally the reason Lincoln and Clyde met each other. Lincoln had to chase down a rebellious 7 year old Lynn and ran into Clyde because Lynn parkoured over him and as we saw in Ties That Bind, Lincoln can't parkour. She also ran over Lincoln's action figure by rollerblading on it, but we're not sure if it was because she's malicious or just not paying attention. This one is up to your interpretation.
120: Friendzy: When Lincoln abuses his friend card privileges, Lynn is the first victim of this. She and Margo were watching a baseball game when Lincoln and Clyde wanted to watch ARGGH!. Lynn actually would let him watch his show once they were done with the show, after 6 more innings. Granted, the show would probably be over by then, but its the thought that counts, right? This isn't good enough for Lincoln, who wants to watch the show now, so he overrides her privilege by using an ace up his sleeve (he brought Liam along), another friend! Since he figures that his 2 outnumbers her 1, he gets more privilege points. Thus forcing Lynn to adapt to his strategy. She tells Luna and the Louds bring more and more friends over to get more and more of those sweet privilege points. This episode is eschewed. #LynnDidNothingWrong.
121: Pasture Bedtime: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
122: Shop Girl: Lynn teaches Leni how to get the stuff she wants by football tackling the rabid Black Friday-esque shoppers out of her way. The Louds just don't want her to get taken advantage off, but Leni is just too much of an adorable cinnamon roll for the assertiveness lessons to stick. She even says that she's happy making other people happy. This episode is eschewed.
123: Gown And Out: Lynn gives a few annoyed glares and a snide remark to Lincoln about being a stage brother to Lola. Lincoln takes it in stride though, as he counters by referencing the events that happened in Toads And Tiaras, not to mention him being a stage brother is a natural defense to Lola. Although, it seems like Lincoln forgot his lesson in Toads And Tiaras and is turning into Gil DeLily, even though Lincoln is doing it because he wants Lola to succeed and not out of any malice or ulterior motives.
124: Breaking Dad: Lynn does appear, albeit esoterically within a cartoon fight dust cloud with the other siblings. Since this is just sibling rivalry, this episode is eschewed.
125: Ruthless People: Thanks to a termite infestation, the Louds are forced to relocate temporarily while their house is being fumigated (even though it won't do anything since Lana wants to rescue the admittedly cute termites). Half of the Louds will stay at Pop-Pop's while the other half will stay at aunt Ruth's. Since aunt Ruth's is a hell on earth to them. Lincoln, Luna, Lori, Lynn Jr, Lola and Lynn Sr beg the other members to trade spots for favors. It doesn't seem like Pop-Pop's was as great as they thought, so they call Leni to find out how miserable they are and she reveals to them that aunt Ruth bought a lake house as part of a timeshare. So, they decide to swap back, on the condition of even more favors. Only to find out the house was eaten by the termites Lana saved. So they're forced back into hell, I mean, aunt Ruth's house. Upon calling Leni again, they find out that Sunset Canyon rented out a cruise ship to cool off the seniors, since they couldn't fix the broken air conditioner.
126: What Wood Lincoln Do?: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
127: Scales Of Justice: Lynn does appear in this episode, but only as a cameo appearance. This episode is eschewed.
128: Crimes Of Fashion: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
129: Absent Minded: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
130: Be Stella My Heart: Lynn does appear in this episode, but only as a cameo appearance. This episode is eschewed.
131: Sitting Bull: Lynn's ulterior motive to get some babysitting money cost the entire Loud family 4 clients! In retaliation, the older siblings give her a seemingly impossible task. Babysitting the demon spawn known as the Fox quintuplets! They eventually fell bad for her and try to rescue her from being torn to shreds by them, only to find out she managed to keep them under control using her 3 step plan of asserting dominance, tiring them out and using a reward system. The older siblings apologize for giving her a hard time and Lynn apologizes for stealing their clients. She even begs and pleads with them to give her sisters another chance! It would have been a perfect candidate for eschewment...if she didn't attack Lincoln without any hint of remorse throughout the episode.
132: The Spies Who Loved Me: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
133: Really Loud Music: Her hallucinogenic song was just her bragging about how awesome she is. She also ended the song by using Edwin to perform a touchdown, breaking his nose. This gets her into a scrap with Lucy. But she and Lana did get to fire Kyle Marshall's effect cannons to stop the slimeball music producers from unplugging Luna's performance (they couldn't have just killed the broadcast?). I guess the two things counterbalance each other out. This episode is eschewed.
134: House Of Lies: She joins up with the other siblings to stop Lisa turning their home into an Orwellian truth telling haven. This isn't 1984, it's 2018 and Little Sister is watching you. This episode is eschewed.
135: Game Boys: She farts under the dinner table when Clyde is under there, but she doesn't even know he's in their house in the first place! This episode is eschewed.
136: Everybody Loves Leni: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
137: Middle Men: Lynn inadvertently ruins Lincoln and Clyde's middle school tour by giving them the advice that middle school is hell and to always expect the worst in people. They follow her advice and everyone sees them as huge jerks, which Clyde agrees with. She then reveals that she had a raw deal on her first day at middle school and her tough act is a defense mechanism so that no one would mess with her again. Sadly for her, Lincoln and Clyde had a way better experience than she did. Thankfully, she realized at the end of the episode that she was worrying about them for nothing. Since she was trying to help them, this episode is eschewed.
138: Jeers For Fears: She helped the other sisters try to desensitize Lincoln and Clyde so that they can survive the House of Terror and win the scare dare that they made with Chandler. This episode is eschewed.
139: Tea Tale Heart: She called dibs on, and most likely ate Lucy's breakfast while she was away at a poetry convention.
140: The Loudest Thanksgiving: Lynn wastes a can of chicken stock testing out her parachute pants (which she plans to use to store biohazardous excretions (she didn't want to possibly miss the Thanksgiving aftergame by going to the bathroom (gross))). The worst part is that the "Feast Force" "hired" by Lynn Sr (it was just Lola and Lana in their hall monitor uniforms) stopped Lori from sampling his mashed potatoes but didn't stop Lynn from wasting the stock. He even pointed this discrepancy in the episode. Obviously, she is on team Loud (the reason this is is because the Louds and Casagrandes are vying for where Lori and Bobby are spending Thanksgiving this year). In the end, the feuding families make up and have agreed for Lori and Bobby to rotate where they'll be staying for all future Thanksgivings (even though their feuding caused Lori and Bobby to have to spend the holiday at Flip's Food and Fuel). On another note, it's hilarious that the entire special was a thinly veiled advertisement for Flip's Food and Fuel.
141: Predict Ability: She made a joke about stealing Lincoln's breakfast burrito. While she is a jerk in this episode, it's not enough to count. This episode is eschewed
142: Driving Ambition: Recommended that talcum powder trick to Lori to help her golf better. This episode is eschewed.
143: Home Of The Fave: Lynn is only mildly indignant in this episode, and the event is totally unrelated to the Louds. This episode is eschewed.
144: Hero Today, Gone Tomorrow: The first Lynn centered episode in the Rubiner Era, it shows her as a narcissist, being the reason their team wins all the time; So when Margo perform a clutch play, she becomes jealous and almost destroys their friendship! She does realize it by the end of the episode and they made up. I also like the gag where the Double Belcher kept being renamed after each game. This episode is eschewed, but only barely. Compared to the Savino and Melded (Savino/Marshall) Eras, I think the Rubiner Era has stabilized the radical elements of the show. Yep, I think this will be a brand new beginning for everyone!
145: The Write Stuff: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
146: Racing Hearts: Lynn was apparently banned from the Astonishing Quest last year for her hyper competitiveness.
147: Stage Plight: It's very hard to spot her, but she does appear for a split second during the ending scene of the episode. Also, Mr. Coconuts can move and speak autonomously, so he should be reclassified as a Euclid class SCP (even if it is a joke SCP). Speaking of tangents, Mrs. Appleblossom is way scarier than Mr. Coconuts ever was!
148: Antiqued Off: Lynn makes a cameo appearance in this episode, yelling at Lincoln to stop hogging the bathroom. This episode is eschewed.
149: Cooked!: This episode shows only typical sibling rivalry. Because of that, this episode is eschewed. On an unrelated note, the best promotions would have been Lincoln and Lucy's. A mass communication array would have the highest potential to attract customers, since it has a broad scope. I wonder how the episode would have played out had they've teamed up...
150: Friended!: It's very fast and is only shown for about 2 frames in the entire episode, but Lynn (as well as the rest of the Loud sisters) made a cameo appearance in the episode. On another note, the pilot episode for Los Casagrandes looks great!
151: Power Play: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
152: Room For Improvement: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
153: Roll Model: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
154: No Show: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
155: Face The Music: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
156: Pranks For The Memories: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
157: Store Wars: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
158: Lucha Fever: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
159: Washed Up: Lynn helps their stranded family survive, this episode is eschewed. Also, her glutes are strong enough to destroy a tree! I wonder if she can win a competition against old Patrick "Iron Buns" Star!
160: Recipe For Disaster: Lynn doesn't appear in this episode.
161: Present Tense: Admittedly nitpicky, but Lori did point out if she destroyed the nutcracker, they'd be out of money (even though it didn't matter in the end) It seems this was an accident, so I'll eschew this episode.
162: Any Given Sundae: She was planning to football tackle anyone who got in her way. Only Lily with the force of a boxing glove spring was able to knock out Lynn! Never mind the fact she pulled a reversal on Luan to knock her out (she was going to prank some with the boxing glove spring in classic Luan Loud fashion)! Lily just might be the smartest Loud, possessing a blend of 50/50 book smarts and street smarts (whereas Lisa is 100% book and Lincoln is 100% street)! This episode also made me want to cause the complete specicide of the rock dove (one of those bastards knocked over the sundae that Lily was about to eat (though if I was her, I'd try to eat it off the ground while having a complete mental breakdown in a pathetic display of desperation)). Fuck pigeons!
Of the currently released episodes, Lynn only appears in 125 of them, being absent from the episodes "Get The Message", "Toads And Tiaras", "Save The Date", "The Waiting Game", "A Fair To Remember", "The Old And The Restless", "Baby Steps", "Making The Grade", Patching Things Up", "Frog Wild", "Shell Shock", "The Loudest Mission: Relative Chaos", "Out Of The Picture", "Back Out There", "ARGGH! You For Real?", "Not A Loud", "Legends", "Snow Way Down", "City Slickers", "Fandom Pains", "Teachers' Union", "Missed Connection", "Pasture Bedtime", "What Wood Lincoln Do?", "Crimes Of Fashion", "Absent Minded", "The Spies Who Loved Me", "Everybody Loves Leni", every Casagrande episode except Friended (of which, there are 8) and Recipe For Disaster. Of those 125, we pare out eschewed episodes, as Lynn was nice in those ones. Factoring out the eschewed episodes, we have 80 episodes left. Getting rid of the episode "Butterfly Effect", because it was all just a dream, knocks it down to 79. Thus, the final score of Lynn's sociopathic behavior is:
80/162 (includes Ties That Bind, Pulp Friction, Change Of Heart and Deal Me Out)
76/162 (does not include Ties That Bind, Pulp Friction, Change Of Heart and Deal Me Out)
So, in conclusion she has sociopathic tendencies 49.3% of the time if the debatable episodes ARE included. But if they are NOT included it becomes 46.9% of the time. She is good only 50.7% of the time! It seems that the writers recognize Lynn's behavior and are trying to rectify it, as the Rubiner Era has her obnoxiousness severely toned down! Now that the canonical diagnosis is over, let's get to the actual author's note for chapter 38.
Unfortunately, due to the author's death, the list will be forever incomplete...
Ok, so when Detroit went bankrupt a few years ago, the city had to transport their criminals elsewhere. Some of them ended up in this very prison. And yes, vile criminals who've committed horrendous crimes are incarcerated here. But enough about them, we're here for Lynn. Lynn's prideful façade is breaking apart! She's showing genuine emotions to Lily, Luan and Lori. When Lynn is talking about fixing Lincoln's AC system, she actually means that Lisa should rig his air conditioning with hydrogen cyanide (codenamed AC)! Once he dies from it, she's to blow the dangerous nerve agent out the window so it will diffuse. Lisa won't go through with it because that might kill more than just Lincoln. The 16 queens are in the shape of a rook, ironically, showing that she's too prideful to admit her mistake. Also, the fact that Lincoln can't do anything to break through is a reference to Quercus Alba, the final enemy in Ace Attorney Investigations: Miles Edgeworth. The fact that it states that Lynn answers with the confidence of a decorated war general cements the reference.
The SB-129 suicide blocker can't detect a certain form of suicide, which is suicide by cop. The robot thinks that because someone else killed you, it counts as a homicide and not a suicide. The "KR" marks are a nod to Undertale. Karmic Retribution is a poison-like effect that damages you over time. Lana really didn't want do to that, but Lynn pushed her too far by trying to kill Lincoln...
Originally, there was a Lynn vignette that was supposed to happen after this, but it was cut out because there wasn't enough substance. It would have detailed Lynn's prison life. The important part is that Lynn realizes she was a horrible person and she deserves to rot in prison forever. However, it makes her strive to be a better person. She even became a model prisoner in about 26 years! A wealthy benefactor even gives her money for the commissary. She even got to remodel her solitary confinement cell to a luxury prison cell a la Kristoph Gavin from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney! She chose a sports theme, of course. She even managed to get signed memorabilia in it, but no baseball bats, of course. Lynn eagerly awaits for the day when she can show her sisters how much she's changed, although she realizes that that day may never come. Even though she still hates Lincoln, she admits that she shouldn't have let it overpower her bond with the rest of her family. Maybe one day, they can reconcile...
With that, we are finished with Act 2! Act 3 consists of character vignettes that shows how the Loud siblings are readjusting to their normal lives after Lana's tragedy and Lynn's arrest. We're almost finished...