short drabble with a bad word. was meant to be fluffy ended up being angsty. enjoy.
Clarity
It's on their fifth night on Penny's ship that she feels it for the first time; that familiar feeling she has felt her entire life. She recognizes it instantly, the way it start bubbling in the pits of her stomach, slowly boiling with a raging heat until it start flooding through the rest of her, its bitter taste in her throat, the way it reaches her eyes with fire red determination and send that tingling sensation to her limbs. It was the unmistakable instinct to run. Her breathing gets heavy, accelerated, her chest heaves rapidly, violently, and her dilated panicked pupils scan her surroundings, desperately searching for the easiest way out.
She was off the island, on the way back to where she is a wanted criminal and she offered to pretend Aaron was her son.
What the fuck was she thinking?! That was clearly the dumbest idea she has ever had, and she has had her fair share of dumb ideas.
She shuts her eyes, clenches her fists and tries to steady her breathing. Fuck.
Count to five, Kate, count to five, she tries to tell herself.
One, she whispers under her breath, shaking, she turns to her right, lying flat on her back.
Two, her thumping heart slows down a beat.
Three, another beat skipped and it no longer feels like her heart is trying to jump out of her chest.
Four, the drumming in her ear quiets down and the bitter taste dissolves out of her throat; her muscles relax and the mattress beneath her feels soft again.
Five, his large, warm palm find her waist and he pulls her against him, his arm curling around her small frame and she turns towards him, their bodies flush, and she can feel her steadily beating heart through the thin fabric of her shirts, soothing hers with its calm beat. She opens her eyes and watches him sleep; eyes closed, lips slightly parted, his warm breath on her skin sends a shiver through her spine, and it is the most calming thing she has ever felt.
She understands it then. She no longer has a reason to run anymore. She has a reason to stay put.
A sated smile sits on her lips.
(She does not know yet that he will soon be the one with a hundred reasons to run, and run so hard, so fast, she might not be able to catch up).