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Disclaimer: CSI New York and its characters are the property of Jerry Bruckheimer and CBS. No infringement is intended. Eden Ashley is an original character. All mine.
For the first time since her rising from the dead and her arrival in the NYPD; Katy and Ashley have ended up working the same case. Katy as the lead detective and Ashley as the CSI obviously. Ashley and Hawkes had been called to a shootout at an abandoned warehouse, it had gang warfare written all over it, hence why Katy and her team got involved rather than Flack. It had been fine, Katy and Ashley work well together, they always had, and they managed to be uber professional, but still friendly at the same time, Ashley thinks a lot of that is down to Stella and Katy putting aside their differences; it really has made things a lot easier.
Ashley is currently sitting in her office, going over some lab results from said case, when Katy walks in, looking tired, it has been a long shift; they are now into their second day.
"Hey." Ashley smiles, she's usually the one that looks exhausted.
"What a day." Katy shakes her head.
"Two days! We got them though."
Now Katy smiles, they did get them, she had just come back from arresting six members of a rival gang, between the murders and the arrests; there are now about 11 less gang members on the streets, New York should be a slightly safer place, for tonight at least.
"I am officially allowed to go home."
"I've just got to finish this, and them I'm also free." Ashley has an idea. "Why don't you come back to mine; we could have dinner, and you can meet Elissa and Theo finally."
Katy's not sure and her facial expression conveys as much. "I don't know Eden, what would Stella think me just turning up."
"I thought you two got on really well when you went out?"
"We did." Katy reassures her. "But it's one thing me and Stella going out to clear the air, and another you bringing me home, to meet your children."
Ashley sighs. "Look the whole point of you and Stella clearing the air was so that you could become more a part of our life."
"I guess." Ashley can tell she's still not convinced.
"Look, I'll call her before we go okay?"
Katy nods, which brings out a huge smile on her ex girlfriend's face, which in turns makes her smile. Ashley reaches for her cell phone and makes the call immediately. Katy can't help but worry, truth is she's less worried about how Stella will react, more worried about how she will react to seeing Eden in her family environment, with her wife and her children, happy. What has she got to counter that with, 14 years of misplaced hope, a broken heart, and a non-existent personal life? She feels pathetic in comparison, and she not sure she's ready to see Eden's new life in all its glory. But at the same time, she knows she's going to have to confront it at some point. Why not bite the bullet now.
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Stella although a little apprehensive, had heard the excitement in her wife's voice, and didn't have the heart to do anything other than welcome Katy into their home with open arms. She's in the front room waiting for them to arrive; Theo and Elissa are in their bouncy chairs squealing with delight at the colourful mobiles hanging above their heads. Stella smiles, her children are happy smiling children and she loves it.
She hears the front door open and braces herself. Eden and a sheepish looking Katy wander into the front room, Stella calms a little obviously she's not the only one who's worried. Stella rises to greet them both.
"Hey. I've missed you." Ashley can't help it; she worked through the night and hasn't seen Stella or her babies since yesterday morning when she left for work. She kisses Stella on the lips, the older woman is careful to make sure it's just a peck, more than aware that this can't be easy for Katy. She moves past Eden; who heads straight for Elissa and Theo; to Katy, she greets her warmly.
"Hi Katy, great to see you again." She kisses her on the cheek.
"Yeah you too Stella. Thank you for inviting me."
"Anytime. I hope you like Moussaka?"
"Sounds Great."
Their attention is taken by a burst of laughter from the twins; they both instantly look over and see Eden leant over showering them both with big wet kisses all over their faces, and the babies absolutely loving it. As usual Stella's heart melts, as does Katy's, until she remembers that these are Eden's children, Eden and Stella's, and her heart sinks, she feels sick.
"Katy come meet them." Ashley has taken a break from kissing the babies, and summons Katy over. Katy takes a deep breath frantically trying to regain her composure. Stella looks at the red head, she can tell this is killing her; her heart goes out to her.
Ashley introduces Katy to the twins, well as much as you can introduce an adult to two 8 week old babies. Stella decides to intervene and give Katy a chance to calm down emotionally.
"Katy, why don't I give you the tour?"
Katy jumps up happy to escape and follows Stella out of the room, Ashley doesn't really think much of it, and just carries on playing on with the twins. As soon as they are out of the room, out of Eden's eye line, Stella turns back towards Katy.
"I know you've been here before Katy." Stella smirks; this apartment has been in Eden's family for years, she knows Eden and Katy have stayed here more than a few times when they were together. The reason Stella is stating the obvious, is to convey that she knows she doesn't need a tour. Katy gets this instantly and is grateful that Stella decided to take pity on her.
"Are you okay?" Stella's question is laced with genuine concern.
Katy nods, it quickly turns into a shake of the end. "I knew this would be hard, I've got to get through it."
"You know where the bathroom is if you want to take a second."
"Thank you." Katy heads for the bathroom, and manages to keep the tears at bay until she's on the other side of the door.
Stella waits until she hears the bathroom door close and strides into the kitchen, she shouts Eden on the way, and it's only a few seconds before her wife is in the kitchen with a confused look on her face. Stella is a little angry that Eden has been so insensitive. She is leaning against the centre island palms flat. She looks up at Eden.
"I thought you knew Katy?"
If Ashley looked confused before, she's really flabbergasted now. "I do."
"Then how is it that you can't see that this is killing her?" Stella is very firm and clear in what she is saying.
"What?"
"Do you think it's easy for her, to see you with the twins, to see us both living here with our family?" a week ago Stella never thought in a million years she would be fighting Katy's corner against Eden.
"Eden this is really hard for her. You have been so concerned about having her back in your life; you haven't stopped to think about what this is doing to her."
"She wants to be a part of our life too."
"Eden, she is still in love with you, and yeah she's trying to get over it, but this; this is too much too soon."
Ashley shakes her head, Stella is right she just assumed that Katy would want to be part of her life, and the truth is she really does want to be a part of Eden's life, but everything that, that comes with; Stella, Elissa and Theo, she probably isn't ready for all that. Ashley realises that she has been so lost in her own needs to have Katy in her life; she can't believe she has been so selfish.
It's at this point Katy enters the kitchen with a clearly rehearsed smile in her face, it doesn't stay there long, she can tell she has obviously walked into something, the tension is thick in the air, and Eden looks like she's just been thoroughly told off. It's her ex lover that looks up at her first; her eyes are filled with emotion, which in turn undoes all of Katy's hard work in the bathroom, she is now frantically trying to keep her own emotions in check.
"I'm sorry. If you're not ready for this I'll drive you home."
Katy looks over at Stella who smiles. She's grateful to the older woman, and decides now she's here she may as well try to take this next step, on her 'getting over Eden Ashley programme.'
"Actually, I'd like to stay if that's okay?"
Ashley smiles. "Of course. If you're sure?"
"I am."
The three women all put on an exhausting front for the rest of the evening, but the main thing is they managed to get through it. It had been excruciating for Katy. She realises fully for the first time, that Eden moved on. Yes it took her time, but she moved on and found happiness, real true happiness, without her. Not just 'Oh well Katy's gone, so I'll settle for this' happiness. The real thing, she's happier than she ever was with Katy. And this hits the red head hard.
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After the painful experience that had been dinner the other night, Ashley is feeling altogether more playful today. It's Saturday, and although she had to work this morning, she has the whole afternoon off, but better than that, her Dad, Mac, also has the afternoon off, and has invited her Stella and the twins for an afternoon stroll around Central Park. Which is of course lovely, but Ashley can't help but think there may be a little more to this little trip out, she has a feeling it may involve a certain Christine that her father has been gushing about recently, that combined with the fact that he is being very coy about this afternoon's activities.
The four of them are currently walking through the park, and Ashley smiles when she sees Mac, but is slightly disappointed when he appears to be alone, Stella smirks Eden had of course shared her thoughts on what she thought was going to happen today.
"Hi Dad, you alright?"
Mac picks up on his daughters sour mood, and doesn't understand it, he greets Stella with a kiss, and then Eden the same way. "I'm good, are you okay?"
He swoops down onto his grandchildren whilst his daughter considers her answer.
Ashley decides to be honest. "I guess I thought today was the big introduction."
Mac smirks. "Well, you may well be right."
That turns Ashley's frown upside down. She slaps Stella on the arm in an 'I told you so' manner causing the older woman to roll her eyes. Mac continues.
"I wouldn't look too pleased."
This causes both women to look at him in uncertainty. He starts to explain himself. "You see Christine was my old partner's sister. So she knows me from years ago."
He hopes this starts to explain things a little for his daughter and daughter in law, apparently not. "I didn't have a daughter back then. This situation." He gestures amongst the five of them. "Takes quite some explaining. So I thought the best way to get it all out in the open would be for us all to meet."
Stella can't believe Mac. "Let me get this straight, you haven't even told her you've got a daughter?"
Mac nods, Stella shakes her head in disbelief. Ashley needs to get things clear for her own mind. "So not only does this woman not know that you've got a daughter, she also doesn't know that said daughter is married, to another woman, and that you are the grandfather to twins."
Mac nods again. "Yeah that pretty much covers it."
"Oh man, you are in so much trouble." Ashley can't help but laugh, this is the kind of predicament she would expect Flack or Adam to get themselves into, not her father.
Stella is also finding the funny side. "I can't believe you thought this was a good idea." She looks at Eden. "I hope youre ready for an awkward afternoon."
Ashley exhales loudly, and nods. Something catches Mac's eyes behind the Bonasera's. "Well brace yourselves ladies, because she's here."
Both Ashley and Stella can't help but turn towards Mac's gaze, and they see a smiling blonde lady heading towards them. Ashley wonders how long that smile's going to last. The blonde makes it to Mac, and greets him with a 'hey' and a kiss. Before turning her concentration to the foursome who are obviously part of the group.
"Hi I'm Christine." Not backwards about coming forwards.
Ashley takes the older woman's outstretched hand, but doesn't really know what to say, how is she supposed to introduce herself. "Nice to meet you. I'm Eden."
Stella laughs as she watches her wife struggle; she takes Christine's hand next. "And I'm Stella; these two are Theo and Elissa."
"Oh, they're adorable. Are they yours?" Christine looks from Stella to Eden, when neither proffers an answer, she momentarily wonders if they have stolen the children. Mac decides an explanation is required sooner rather than later.
"I thought we could all go to the diner by the lake, grab a coffee, and give me a chance to explain everything."
Christine is really panicking now, who are these two women? Who are these babies, she has the horrible thought that they could be Mac's but why wouldn't he have told her about them, they are really young, why is he even dating her if he's just had children with someone else. She supposes all these questions will be answered over the course of the afternoon. With this thought in her mind she follows the party to the diner.
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They all settled down in the dinner, the babies both released from their numerous layers and their push chair are now delighting in life in their highchairs, they love being able to see things. Ashley and Stella are feeling a little more tense than their children, they know what's about to happen. Ashley has noted that Christine looks pretty pissed off already. She hopes her Dad knows what he's doing. Mac arrives back at the table with the last of the coffees, and sits next to Christine, he decides to get right into attempting to explain his rather unconventional family to this woman, a woman he is sure he is falling in love with.
"So Christine, you're probably wondering who everyone is, and why I asked them all here today."
Christine just nods, but she's wearing an expression that's screaming, 'you better tell me what the hell is going on here Taylor'. Mac continues.
"Well let me introduce everyone properly." He gestures towards Eden. "This is Eden, my daughter."
Ashley braces herself, she's wearing a smile, but she's ready for an inquisition. Christine wastes no time in presenting one.
"Mac I'm really confused. You never had a daughter when I knew you before." Christine isn't stupid, Eden looks around 30 years old, she would have been around, when her brother was Mac's partner.
"That's right I didn't have a daughter back then."
Well that doesn't help at all. "Mac I'm really struggling to understand what's going on here."
"I didn't know Eden existed until about four and half years ago."
Ashley decides to try and help him out a little. "And he didn't know I was his daughter, until like two years ago."
"You have a long lost daughter?" Christine tries to process the information she's been given.
"Basically yes. I will go into all the nitty gritty details, but for now all you need to know is that Eden is my daughter."
Christine accepts this, and then looks across to Stella and the twins. "And where exactly do these fit into all of this."
"Well Stella is Eden's wife." Stella is wearing a matching smile to Eden's previous one, clearly plastered on for effect, Mac carries on. "And these two little bundles of joy are their children. My grandchildren."
Christine doesn't speak, her mind is racing, she has a million thoughts and questions chasing each other around her brain.
"I know this must be a shock, but I wasn't really sure how to explain it all, so I thought what better way than to get you all together." Mac is panicking a little.
Once more Ashley needs to voice something. "I'd just like to get out, that me and Stella knew nothing about this until about 5 seconds before you arrived, so we've been ambushed too."
This makes Christine smile; at least she isn't being ganged up on. So it turns out Mac isn't the lone wanderer she thought, he's a family man.
"Wow so you come with the full package."
"Yeah. I hope that doesn't put you off too much?"
"Are you kidding, if it means I get to hang out with these little guys, how could I be anything but delighted?" She gestures towards Theo and Elissa, who also seem to have taken an interest in the conversation, they had stopped playing and seemed to be listening intently to the conversation the adults have been having, almost as if they had picked up on the tension in the room. Christine dives right in and starts playing with them, it's not long before they are whooping with delight again. Ashley raises her eyebrows at her father and smiles. Seems like he's played this all very well after all. I mean what woman can resist twin babies.
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Katy is not in a good place. Her dinner with Eden and her family had been well over a week ago, and she thinks she has felt progressively worse about her own life each day since. She has spent the majority of her time in bars drinking. She feels like such a hypocrite, bringing up Eden's drinking problem with Stella, and here she is creating one of her own.
She can't help it. She has just been kicked out of a bar due to last orders being called, but instead of going home to sleep it off, she found herself in the off licence near her apartment purchasing a bottle of dark rum. Now here she is sitting at her kitchen table, alone. All she can think is that everybody's lives including her own would have been better if she'd just stayed dead. It's this thought more than any other, that brings the waves of tears again. She empties her glass; it burns as it makes its way down her throat, closing her eyes as it goes causing more tears to spill over. She refills the glass.
Life is not going well, Eden doesn't want her anymore, a lot of the detectives in her precinct view her with suspicion, such is the popularity of Stella Bonasera amongst them, and her own mother can barely look her in the eyes. When she returned to Providence her mother was a shadow of the woman she left behind all of those years before. Her father had left, her parents' marriage unable to survive their daughter's murder. A new batch of tears, forceful, again she downs the brown liquid before quickly refilling her empty glass once more. Yes she can't help but think that the world would be a better place without her in it; indeed it was, before her return, she has come back and made everyone she loves miserable.
She decides there and then that she doesn't want to be the cause of so much pain for the people she loves anymore, and resolves to do something about it. She downs her drink again for Dutch courage as she makes her way towards the medicine cabinet in her bathroom to see what she can find.
She gets together quite a stash and lays them all out in front of her on the kitchen table. She refills her glass once more, and takes a deep breath. Content with her decision.
XXXXXXXXXX
Ashley is fidgeting in bed. It's starting to annoy Stella, it's close to midnight. But Ashley can't sleep, and she can't for the life of her think why, she's tired, but there's this niggling feeling, in her brain and in her chest that something terrible is happening. So much so that she's already been up three times to check on the twins, they are both fine and sleeping soundly. She has called Mac, he sounded sleepy but fine, she smirked a little when she heard Christine in the background asking who had called, it seems she is fully on board with the Taylor/Bonasera family situation. Way to go Dad.
She sits up in bed again, she can't explain it, she feels restless. Stella turns on the bedside lamp on her side of the bed at her wife's sudden movement.
"Shorty, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"I don't know, you know when you just get a feeling of impending doom, like something really bad is going to happen." Ashley tries her best to explain it.
"Well, I'm fine obviously. You've practically worn out the carpet by checking on the twins, so I assume they're okay?"
"Yeah. And I've called Mac, and he seems to be better than okay." She giggles at her own little joke. In the interests of getting back to sleep as quickly as possible, Stella doesn't ask.
"So everyone you love is accounted for?"
Ashley nods, she knows Flack and Adam will be fine, but she still can't shake this feeling. Then it hits her all of a sudden. Stella watches as her eyes go wide. "Katy."
Ashley reaches for her cell phone and calls her number right away. It rings and finally connects to answer phone. Ashley is really starting to worry now. "She's not picking up."
Stella assumes this is probably because it's gone midnight and she's asleep. But she knows this mood in Eden, and she knows she won't rest until she's sure Katy is okay. "Why don't you go and make sure she's okay?"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, neither of us is going to get any sleep if you don't." Stella jokes.
"Thank you." Ashley kisses Stella before leaping out of bed and throwing on some sweats, and frantically heading out of the apartment. The sooner she makes sure Katy is okay, the sooner she can get back to her beautiful wife.
XXXXXXXXX
Ashley made it to Katy's apartment building in record time, she runs up the three flights of stairs to her ex girlfriend's apartment, and starts to frantically knock. She doesn't want to be too loud due to the time; she doesn't want to wake the neighbours. But the longer the door goes unanswered the louder her hammering becomes. When it becomes clear that no one is going to answer the door, she stands back and contemplates her next course of action. She decides before attempting shoulder barging the door open, she will simply try the handle. She chuckles as her hunch proves correct and the door is unlocked.
She tentatively moves into the apartment. "Katy?"
No answer. She notices a light on behind the kitchen door, she moves towards it, that feeling of utter dread from earlier is back in the pit of her stomach; she places a hand on the kitchen door, and slowly pushes it open. She's not prepared for what she sees on the other side of the door. Katy is sprawled out on the floor; she sees a mass of pills and empty wrappers and containers all across the table. She goes straight into CSI mode; she calls an ambulance and the dives onto the floor to Katy.
Ashley knows there isn't much she can do until the EMT's arrive, but she puts Katy into the recovery position, and starts talking to her in the hope she will get a response.
"Katy, can you hear me?" No response, Ashley pushes her hair out of her face. "Katy its Eden, please talk to me."
A small grunt emits from the stricken woman, and Ashley will take it, that's her hope right there. Where the hell is the ambulance?
XXXXXXXXX
The ambulance did arrive, and Ashley had accompanied Katy to the hospital in it. Calling Stella on the way to let her know what's going on. Now she finds herself in the hospital waiting room, waiting for news. Her head in her hands, all she can think is 'this is all my fault'. She pushed Katy too far. She hates that Katy was this desperate and felt that she couldn't come to her. She can't believe she was so desperate she thought she had nothing to live for. Ashley's tears started as soon as she sat in this chair, and she can't seem to stop them.
Stella runs into the waiting room, she see's Eden and her heart breaks, she runs over to her wife and pulls her into an almighty hug, and comforts her as the sobs reverberate through her body. She eventually calms down and looks at Stella.
"Where are Theo and Elissa?"
"Mac's got them."
Ashley thinks back to her earlier phone call to her father, and the fact that he seemed to be in bed with Christine, and grimaces. "I bet he was really happy about being disturbed."
"He and Christine were both more than happy to help us out."
"What a mess." Ashley feels the tears coming again.
"How bad is it?" Stella has to ask. Her wife has been through so much in her life, the thought of her having to deal with losing Katy again doesn't bare thinking about.
"Pretty bad." It's all Ashley can manage through fear of the uncontrollable sobs returning.
They are disturbed from their embrace by a Doctor heading towards them. "Eden Bonasera?"
"Yeah that's me." She manages through the sniffles.
"You came in with Miss Peterson?"
"Yeah that's right." Ashley freezes she almost doesn't want to know the answer to her next question. "How is she?"
Both Stella and Eden hold their breath as they wait for his response.
"Well it was touch and go for a second, but we managed to get all of the drugs out of her system, she's a little groggy but she's awake, and she should be fine."
The relief actually pours out of Ashley. "Can I see her?"
"Of course." And just as quickly as he arrived the Doctor disappears.
Ashley stands up ready to head towards Katy's room, she looks back when Stella doesn't move. "Are you coming?"
Stella shakes her head. "No. I think you need to do this alone."
Ashley looks at her wife, causing Stella to smile. "I'll be right here waiting for you."
Ashley nods, grateful once again that she has this amazing woman in her life. She moves towards Katy's room and slowly pushes the door open, mirroring what she had done earlier in Katy's apartment. This time she finds Katy looking slightly more alive. Slightly.
Katy feels and looks rather embarrassed. She can't believe she's done this to the people she loves, again. She has spoken to her mother on the phone, and she is currently on her way from Providence. Ashley slowly sits in the chair at the side of the bed, and reaches across and takes Katy's hand in her own.
"How are you feeling?"
What a question. Katy's main feeling is one of stupidity, but seeing the red marks around Eden's eyes she feels remorse.
"I'm okay. You look like shit."
Eden smiles, stroking Katy's fingers. "Believe me, I look a damn site better than you do."
She looks up at Katy and the emotion in her ex girlfriends eyes, makes Katy start to weep, she can't help it the tears just arrived, but she is astounded by Eden's next words.
"I'm so sorry." More tears for Ashley.
"Eden, you have got nothing to be sorry for. I need to apologize to you."
"I pushed you too hard. I didn't realise how difficult it would be for you to be around me and Stella, I was just so desperate to have you in my life." Ashley bows her head.
"Hey, you listen to me. I didn't do what I did because of you. In fact your one of the main reasons I'm so ashamed of what I did."
Ashley looks up again confused. Katy tries to explain. "This has made me realise that I want to live. For you, for my Mom, but more importantly for me. I thought I was a hindrance, I thought life was better when I was dead."
"Don't you dare ever think that. I thought I'd lost you again tonight." The thought kills her.
"I'm going to head back to Providence with Mom." Katy tries to steer away from the obviously emotive, and explain her plans for the immediate future.
"Will you be back?" Ashley really hopes she will be, but will completely understand if the red head has had enough of New York.
"You can't get rid of me that easily Ashley." Katy smiles, as does Ashley at the use of her nickname. "I just need some time."
Ashley nods. "If you decide it's too hard to come back, I will understand. I just want you to be happy."
"I will be."
Just then Katy's mum, Mrs Peterson rushes into the room, she cools slightly when she sees Eden holding her daughters hand, and her daughter looking a lot more alive than she sounded on the phone earlier. Ashley takes this as her cue to leave. She leans over and kisses Katy on the cheek; she leans back and looks her dead in the eyes.
"Never ever believe that I think my life would be better without you in it okay. I have fought to have you in my life; I want you to fight too okay."
Katy nods, far too emotional to speak. "If you being a part of my life is too much, then forget about me. Do for you alright. It would hurt me to have to live without you immensely, but I would do anything to make you happy, and if that's what you need then that's what I'll do. I'll stay away."
This scares Katy. "No Eden, I need you in my life. I just need to get used to you being in my life in a different way."
Ashley nods, and moves towards to Mrs Peterson, she pulls her into a hug and whispers into her ear. "Look after her."
She looks back at Katy. "Keep in touch."
Katy nods, and embraces her mother. Ashley wanders out of the room, and back in the direction of her wife. Stella rises immediately.
"How is she?"
"She's a mess emotionally. But I think she's going to be okay."
Ashley places her arm around her wife, it's gone 3am and she is exhausted. "Let's go home."
Stella is more than a little worried about Eden's emotional state right now, but she guesses heading to bed is probably the best course of action for right now.
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Next time out, more Mac and Christine, Katy returns from Providence. Let me know what you thought of this chapter. Drop me a review or a tweet at Eden_Ashley_Chr