Sasuke's Point of View

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe her. I'd been sitting at my desk since the early hours of morning, desperately trying to figure out what in the world I'd witnessed the night before, but to no avail. I didn't have an answer, and it was becoming quite clear that I never would.

I couldn't explain her behavior. Briefly, I wondered if she could even do that herself. Was that the way she reacted every time someone died on her hands? Because if it was, then it would be impossible for me to understand how she was still alive after all the years she had been practicing medicine.

Over the course of my day, I tried to focus on work. I genuinely did, because I was already behind, what with not having done my scheduled share the other day because of her and her short dress and her antics and her apparent inability to deal with the loss of her patients. But I was distracted, constantly and for long periods of time, by the sight of her small form in her blood-splotched scrubs, by her disheveled hair and bruised knuckles, by the look in her eyes when I forced her awake. It was the most disarmed she had ever been in my presence, I was sure, and the closest she had come to trusting me in eight years.

Part of me hated the fact that it had only come about while she was nearly unconscious.

Another part of me was terribly annoyed that I was thinking about that instead of working through my steadily growing tower of paperwork.

Around lunchtime, I gave up. My mind was filled to the brim with her persona, and even though it had never worked before, I decided to pay her a visit: see how she was doing, what she was up to, maybe have a small fight or hell, lately even a quick fuck—have my fix of her with the hope that maybe then I would be able to focus on matters that were truly important.

I found her without much effort, in her office, sitting behind her desk, with a purple sweater on and, for the first time, without heels on her feet. She looked better than she had the night before. Her skin was clear, her hair was neat, and she'd even applied a tiny bit of make-up—she didn't need it, but even I couldn't deny the fact that her green eyes seemed even more beautiful against the golden eye-shadow. They were still dead, though, lifeless—and for some reason I failed to place, that was what truly caught my attention.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, without a greeting, genuinely interested.

She, on the other hand, scoffed. "Why do you care?"

My eyes narrowed. She always complained about me being an asshole, so why was it that, every time I tried not to act like one in her presence, she started calling me out on it, goading me and practically forcing me to stop?

"I don't," I snapped, my temper flaring. I'd come there to ensure she was alright and that was the treatment I received? "I'm simply trying to figure out if my hospital is in the hands of an incompetent fool who exhausts herself until she can't even stand upright, until she can't even heal a twisted ankle; a fool who can't even think straight, who thinks that throwing herself into the goddamn pool when ready to pass out is a good idea. Tell me, Sakura, do you see yourself somewhere in that concise description of mine?"

"Don't fuck with me, Sasuke," she seethed, suddenly visibly angry, and I saw the situation spiralling out of control after a mere minute of us being in the same room. "I may not be perfect, but what I do outside the confines of this building is my own problem. All you should care about, all you should judge me for, is my skill—as a medic and as a kunoichi. And I know I lost two patients last night—trust me, I'm well-aware of that—but guess what? Shit happens. Deal with it!"

"I am," I retorted easily, burying my hands into my pockets, "What about you?"

"I deal with it in my own way," she answered simply.

I had a feeling that either she didn't understand the extent of the problem, or she was being stupid on purpose, just to rile me up. I tried not to consider the possibility that, in this situation, my first assumption was most likely to be the correct one.

"By trying to commit suicide?" I snapped, more than annoyed now.

"What the fuck is your problem?" she shouted, outraged, as she abruptly stood up, slamming her hands flat on the desk. Her green eyes sharpened into a death glare, to which I quickly responded with one of my own.

"My problem," I started, my voice calm and steady despite the anger burning through my veins, "is you. I don't want all of this to be ruined just because you're depressed and can't see past that, can't look at the bigger picture and be responsible at least for once in your goddamn life. What—"

"What do you know about responsibility?" she yelled with a ferocity that almost startled me. "You've run away from everything that meant it! What do you know about how many people have died on my hands? What do you know about how many people have looked at me in the eye, begging me to save them, forcing me to make promises I couldn't keep? I failed them! All of them! What do you know about how many families I've had to ruin because I wasn't able to do what I, as a medic, was supposed to do? Nothing! You know nothing! All you've done was run from one place to another for all your life, being angry, not caring who you've hurt, not giving a damn about anyone other than yourself. While I? I've had to carry this weight on my shoulders all along. Giving up wasn't an option for me. Running away wasn't an option for me. I'm sorry, but not everybody is like you. Some people do care—and those that do would probably understand my reaction. But you don't, so stop preteding that you do. Being an Uchiha doesn't mean you're a God! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

Her words rang home, and they rang deep—but they made me see red, and I found myself with a question on the tip of my tongue that, any other time, would have been more likely to come out of her mouth and in my direction: did she think she was the only one who had suffered? Did she truly think that disregarding everyone's feelings hadn't come back to bite me in the ass in the end? Did she truly think that I wouldn't turn back time and do everything differently if I could?

"Then what would have happened if I hadn't gotten there in time, Sakura? Tell me!"

"If you hadn't gotten there in time, Sasuke," she hissed, "I wouldn't have twisted my ankle trying to avoid you. There would have been no one to anger me, and I wouldn't have exhausted myself trying to walk away from you. I wouldn't have felt the need to wake up, and I wouldn't have thrown myself into that fucking pool. In other words, if you hadn't gotten there in time, none of those would have happened! Because, really, can't you see? You are the cause of all bad things that have ever happened to me!"

Bristling, I opened my mouth to speak. I opened my mouth to yell and defend myself. I did it once, twice—stopped at my third attempt.

Because what could I do? Look at her in the eye and tell her that was not true? Lie to her face when we both knew the truth? She'd all but spelled it out for me only seconds before. Sakura had been a normal girl striving to be an average kunoichi. She'd come from a happy, loving family that would have probably supported her even if she failed in her quest. There had been no reason for which her life should have been complicated.

Until I came along. I broke her heart and placed a burden on her shoulders that shouldn't have been there. In a way, I was the reason why she was who she was now, whether in a good or bad way, only she knew. It was even my fault that she was there now, and that she'd had to add my two shinobi to the list of patients she hadn't been able to save.

I'd made an impact on her life. There had never been a doubt about that, and I'd never even entertained the idea that it had been a positive one. But, for some reason or another, I'd also never thought she'd ever scream it in my face like she'd done.

What could I possibly say to that?

Nothing, I decided, and with that thought in mind, turned and walked out of her office.

A/N: Happy Holidays, everybody! I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas and will have an amazing New Year's!