Yep, title from Genesis' song: That's All

For all you Sai fans out there (you seem to be many) - I don't want this to seem repetitive, but it is important -

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I Missed Again

35. Just As I Thought It Was Going Alright, I Find Out I'm Wrong When I Thought I Was Right

Kakashi tugs the glove out of his pouch to look at it, she'd been thoughtful enough to wash it, apparently; he averts his eye from it to Sakura still stood in the middle of the training field. It is, truly, a curious sensation having such turbulent emotions which seem to change with every breath – Kakashi is so used to his naturally even temperament that he's not entirely sure what the right course of action is.

His recent and rather upsetting revelation about his feelings for Sakura had forced him to think long and hard; the natural conclusion – he surmised, after assessing all the possibilities, probabilities and other such factors – was to stay well enough away.

It is both possible and probable that Sakura has no such feelings – or if she does, they would most likely be false, due to the role he's come to play – and that would be the ultimate problem. Known but unreciprocated feelings put enormous pressure on both parties and after he'd put so much into getting Sakura back into the team (and getting close to her), that the worst he could do would be to force her away again through something as – relatively speaking – insignificant as his now strong but turbulent emotions.

Once he'd decided upon this course of action, he'd worked to make sure that he'd had almost too much to occupy him so that he wouldn't just be left with nothing to fill the void so to speak. He'd gotten used to being around Sakura again, she was agreeable company to him and his generally solitary nature meant that he would feel the loss more keenly – but he isn't a master at evasion and concealment for nothing.

It wouldn't be too difficult, he'd supposed, to draw a wider emotional distance between the kuniochi and himself, he'd simply have to distract himself quickly by sparring with one of the boys. He'd work on steeling himself against her once he knew that he would be able to distance and distract himself.

Unfortunately, he'd had no such luck, he'd already procrastinated long beyond what was normal for him and when he'd eventually appeared it took every inch of the decades of self-discipline not to stare at her. It seemed, too, that as soon as he was in the immediate company of her, she seemed to draw all of his attention and focus like a paperclip to a magnet.

Apart from the completely alien feelings and actions he seemed to be taking, he couldn't resist them and what scared him the most was how good it felt just to give in to them and allow his eye to flick over to her momentarily and watch her twist out of the way whilst she sparred with Naruto. So graceful. What must she feel like to the touch? Fragile – seemingly, at least – he remembers that much from when he hugged her back then…

Perhaps somewhere, he knew this wasn't going to work – he'd gotten so close and been so honest with Sakura over the past few months that it would be a very obvious change for him to suddenly draw back from it. Then she was in front of him – teasing him with being so close but nonetheless out of reach – and then with that damn quip about Sai.

He knew she wouldn't stand for it if he'd forced her to listen to him and then, when their situations were reversed, to force her away and not to try and help him. He'd thought that he'd levelled the playing field – that he'd managed to achieve some sense of status-quo to give himself a chance to back away and to do what was right but he just had to be slow in leaving, didn't he?

He, after spending the entire training session feeling as though he wanted get closer, ever closer to her – suddenly recoiled could feel only anxiety and the desire to retreat to a safe distance to assess the situation when she stopped him. Shit, he runs a hand through his hair, maybe this would all be easier to cope with if I could even predict – to any degree of accuracy – what I'll be feeling in five? Ten? Two minutes maybe… Haa…

He can't understand how quickly he seems have been set upon by the emotions – wasn't it supposed to be a gradual process? Where one slowly comes to grasp their feelings? Not get bombarded with all of this confusing, turbulent, distracting and unending shit? I can't believe people actually seek this out… They must be mad…

He narrows his eye slightly as Sai appears in a swirl of ink a few meters in front of Sakura, wondering what on earth the boy could want with her, Kakashi tilts his haitai-ate up to be able to observe their lip movements. He knows this isn't right, but just long enough to grasp the gist of their conversation – just long enough-

'Ms. Beautiful, I was just observing your interaction with Hatake-san and I think I've come to some conclusions… Would you like to hear them?' What? When did he start using names like that for Sakura? He doesn't-!

'Go on then,' She looks more exasperated than plain angry – what's changed? Shit…

'I saw that Hatake-san was not nearly as open with you as he usually is – he seemed quite withdrawn, although it is hard to tell with him… I don't understand what that might mean – if he didn't want to speak to you, why did he stay?'

'You saw that too?' Sai cocks his head as Sakura averts her eyes slightly, eliciting a frown from Kakashi, 'I'm not sure if there's something wrong with Kakashi, he does seem a little off…'

'You do not know the reason for his condition?' What condition? A flare of anger accompanies the boy's words, although Kakashi has to admit: maybe he's suffering with chronic foolishness; the faint laugher of Sakura's interrupts his thoughts,

'I don't think Kakashi has a 'condition' – there might be any number of reasons why he might be feeling less than 100% or we could just be reading too much into his typically aloof behaviour,'

'Hmm… But you seemed to be acting strangely too. You showed greater facial expression to Hatake-san than to either Naruto or I today. You also seemed to exhibit an emotion that is quite rare for you… I think it was… uh… playfulness. I've read that this is a common emotion to display in front one whom you are sexually attracted to… Is this not the case?' Sakura blushes a brilliant red at Sai's last comment and doesn't meet his eyes but eventually musters a response, intuition tells Kakashi that he is privy to important information, but he isn't able to tell exactly how it's important;

'Uh, well, yes you are right – that is often an emotion displayed but… it's not as if you can judge it on something so circumstantial – just that emotion alone means lots of things,'

'What did you mean by it?'

'W-well… I suppose that by projecting an air of informality and amiability is often much easier in trying to gauge someone's emotional state, which is what I was trying to do,' Hmm, I should have known better, of course she wouldn't…

'Then why do you look… ah, embarrassed?'

'Because you're being so pushy! Why are you so obsessed with the idea that there is something going on between Kakashi and I?'

'Because when I observe the interaction between you two, I can see all of the signs listed – as stated by the book – of people who are attracted to one another, but are not admitting it,' Sakura's face fell into her hand, and Kakashi can easily imagine that a sigh is her primary response,

'Underneath the underneath, right?' An almost automatic smile finds its way to Kakashi's lips;

'What?'

'Never mind,'

'Was that one of Hatake-san's sayings? Apparently your attraction is-'

'What I'm saying is that you don't have all of the facts about us or the situation – and the book is only a guide in general – it won't necessarily work for everyone. You can't have a generic rule and apply it unilaterally, everyone's a little bit different and they all work in different ways.

'And stop calling me 'Ms Beautiful' only when you want something! I would have answered your questions anyway with you calling me as normal, I don't appreciate being treated so disrespectfully... See you later, Sai' With that, Sakura turns on her heel and began to walk away, Sai remains stock still for a few moments and Kakashi isn't sure whether Sakura has displayed the fact she is harbouring feelings for him or not.

Sai does, after all, really know how to push her buttons.

However, if Sai were way off, wouldn't she have just punched him? That was, after all, what she desperately wanted to do after all of the times he foolishly made mention of it during the mission – so… have her feelings changed, in one capacity or another, for him? Kakashi allows a great sigh to escape him just as a swirl of ink attracts his attention next to him, remaining cool, he turns to face the boy,

"Hatake-san, you witnessed the exchange between the Hag and I?"

"I did,"

"What do you think?"

"About what?"

"Do you think Sakura is sexually attracted to you?" I wish,

"…I wouldn't… know," Sai cocks his head again,

"You seemed to stutter, that is most unlike you… Are you feeling unwell? Or is it because the focus of the conversation is the Hag?" Kakashi doesn't answer immediately and Sai takes time to elaborate, "The book often says that if a conversation is focussed upon the one that another is attracted to, it can often make them very uncomfortable,"

"I'm… Just feeling a little under the weather,"

"Perhaps you should go and see the Hag, her medical prowess means that she is more than likely able to heal you and whilst you're there you can explain your attraction to her," Kakashi nearly choked on his own spit at Sai's lack of subtlety,

"Sai, there is nothing happening or going to happen between Sakura and I in this fashion, do I make myself clear?" His words end up almost being growled but Sai merely thinks for the moment, not looking in the slightest intimidated,

"What do you-"

"You will not speak of this topic again, understood?" He nods and is quick to disappear; Kakashi rises to full height and leaps down from the tree walking slowly away; although he isn't sick per se, Sai is right in that it is something (only) Sakura can heal.

But maybe Sai's lack of emotional clouding is enabling him to see what's hidden from Kakashi?