October 1 (story)

I do not own the characters of Twilight.

Thank you for everyone who voted. I have considered the fact that there are some for "yes" and some for "no". With that in mind, I present a chapter I hope pleases both sides.

Edward looked at me with mixed emotions. I wanted this. I was sure of it. I understood now what it was between us. I didn't plan on changing who I was or what I believed but I wanted to make sure he understood what he was beginning to mean to me. I needed to do this for both him and me.

"Bella, I love you. I don't want to push anything to quickly for either of us. Please understand there is nothing I would deny you but I don't want this to move that quickly." Edward replied.

"Go away, Edward." Suddenly reality was creeping up on me. I couldn't do this. I wasn't ready for this to happen.

"Bella, please, don't send me away."

"Edward. Go. Now." I hissed. I understood what he was telling me. I couldn't deny his reasoning. I needed him to leave. His scent, his looks, everything about him was pushing my feelings towards attacking him. I needed him to leave before I truly did something I was going to regret.

The look on his face killed me. He didn't understand that I was sending him away because of the best interest for both of us. I didn't know how to explain it to him without looking like an idiot. I just needed him to leave.

I turned over on my bed and pushed myself into my pillow. I needed to smother the smell away. I needed to clear my head. I heard my window close and turned over to find my room empty.

I threw myself back into my pillow. I cried harder than I had in years. I cried for what I had almost done. I cried for Edward. He had left thinking I was rejecting him because of his refusal. I cried mostly for myself and how the shit in my life had forced my into a mixed emotional situation.

I slowly came around and the crying stopped. I felt sleep begin to take hold of me. I welcomed it. My nightmares were something I had learned to handle. Reality was still a bitch.

I felt a cold touch on my hip and turned my head to find Edward staring down at me. I watched his eyes narrow slightly and his nostrils flare.

"What?" I asked with a shaky voice. His continuous star was really starting to scare me now.

"I can smell how much you want me. Don't deny me."

I turned away from him. I could feel the shades of red creeping across my face. I was scared and aroused at the same time.

"Shh. It's perfectly alright because I want you too." He answered my unspoken question with a throaty voice.

My eyes flew to his as he pushed his body against me. I could feel how aroused he was. He growled in my ear and I felt his fingertips as they tightened on my hip. His eyes had gotten darker. He had taken control and was becoming dominant and assertive. I wasn't sure how to react. I liked it but was terrified at the same time.

He leaned in and whisper into my ear, his breath tickling my neck and sending a shiver down my spine. "You want me, don't you?"

Even though is wasn't necessary I nodded confirming what he was asking. He took my hand and directed it to the bulge under his pants. My breath hitched in my throat, my hand cupped against his, feeling his thickness. I moaned softly, involuntarily and he chuckled sexily.

A dull ache began between my legs, and I felt my lips swell and dampen. I tried to calm my pounding heart. He knew! He knew everything I was feeling and from the look on his face he enjoyed the knowledge and the satisfaction it gave him. I felt him pulse beneath my hand and moaned again. He knew exactly what he was doing to me whether I welcomed it or not.

His lips that were still near my ear trailed kisses down my throat and up to my lips. I could feel the difference between his cool touch and the heat throughout my body. I opened my mouth and felt his tongue come to meet mine in a kiss full of passion and need.

He pushed me back onto the bed and twisted so he was holding himself effortlessly above me. I felt his fingers find their way under my shirt and held my breath as he reached up and found my hard erect nipples. Using a thumb and forefinger he pinched gently, twisting my nipples causing intense pleasure to course through my body.

"Please." I cried. Was I asking for more of him or asking him to stop. I could feel my juices coating my pussy lips and tried to hide it by clamping my legs tightly together. Unfortunately, all this did was intensify the feeling of pressure my clit was feeling. It hadn't even been touched and it was aching as though it had been rubbed raw.

"Please what? What do you want?" He asked against my throat. "This?" As he ripped my shirt and lowered his mouth to my nipple sucking me into him, latching on with his teeth and flicking his tongue over the tip.

"Oh my god." Was the only response I could give. I gave myself into the feelings that were pulsing through my body.

I felt him smile against my tit and his hand started its slow descent over my stomach leaving goosebumps along the way. He fingers tickled and teased as they made their way under my pants. Time seemed to stand still as I waited breathlessly for what was coming next. Then suddenly his finger was sliding between my lips. My breath caught in my throat as he ran his finger from my clit to my opening, parting my lips easily.

"Mmm, so wet." His deep voice stated. "I knew as soon as I smelled you that you would be."

His lips trailed an icy path down my body, following the part his hand had taken just moments earlier. I reached down and tangled my fingers in his thick dark hair. Once against my breath caught in my throat as he tore my pants away from my body and rested his mouth just above my clit. With a finger and thumb he parted the skin and slowly reached out with his tongue and tasted me for the first time.

Sensations seemed to explode within my body as I felt the tip of his tongue go on its adventure. My clit seemed to become larger and even more swollen as he rolled his tongue in circles. His fingers pushed and pulled in and out of me as if my body and his fingers were fighting a battle of dominance.

At some point he made his way back up, kissing my body along the way. I heard the growl come from his body again as he disposed of his clothes. "Beautiful." He said as he looked down at my naked body. I could feel the heat within my cheeks come to the surface.

In a flash he appeared between my legs. His mouth was immediately on my pussy and licking over the opening and onto my clit. I felt him suck my clit into his mouth, gently holding it between his teeth and biting down while his tongue flicked over it.

Just when I thought I was going to lose it, he inserted two fingers deep inside me, positioning them so that they rubbed against the sensitive area inside me. His tongue continued to assault my clit as he moved his fingers in and out of me. He began to lick my lips and clit in time with the movement of his fingers. As his fingers got faster and rougher, so did his tongue, until my legs started shaking uncontrollably. I reached down with my hands and tried to pull his hands and head away from me.

"No. This time is for you." He said in his deep mesmerizing voice. "Your pleasure will be first and then mine will be ours."

I groaned and continued to try and pull him up to me, but he took my hands and held them still. "Patience. I have waited a lifetime to feel your warmth and softness beneath my mouth."

Again he placed a kiss, this time with a little more pressure against my clit. His cold breath as he spoke made me hotter and I sighed. I knew I wasn't in control and wouldn't be allowed the control. I feared his control but he was loving and caring, not hurtful and mean.

"To hear the sounds you make and know that I'm the one causing them." He slid his tongue over my clit and my hips rose with a will of their own in time to his movements.

"To have you explode over my tongue and taste your bitter-sweet liquid" With that he buried his tongue as deep as he possibly could inside my throbbing pussy. I lost control of my body and soul now. He possessed everything I was.

Shuddering, with shaking legs and moaning deeply, I felt my body tense up and my inner muscles start contracting around his tongue. Gripping his hair and pulling his face in deeper, my hips bucked as I climaxed with such force that I felt the wetness flow from my body. I heard Edward growl in approval.

"That's what I've been waiting for." He stated as he greedily pushed his face into my pussy.

I felt him make his way back up my body, stroking softly on my stomach and then gently running his nails over my skin. Reaching my tits, he squeezed and massaged them, making me gasp and causing my nipples to peak once more.

He positioned himself between my legs and thrust himself forward with urgency and his cock entered me in a single fluid movement. With a breathless moan, I felt my pussy stretch to accommodate him as he filled me. Raising himself effortlessly above me, his eyes met mine. There was a hunger I hadn't seen before. I was scared again. I soon forgot being scared as he buried himself up to the hilt inside me and let himself rest there. Teasingly, he gyrated his hips without withdrawing, making me moan in frustrated pleasure.

Agonizingly he started to pull away and my inner muscles clenched in protest around him. He withdrew until just his head was inside and then he slammed down with such force it knocked the air from my lungs. Again he moved his hips back as though to retreat, stopping at the entrance. He pounded back into me causing my eyes to roll back.

I reached around him and grabbed his ass and locked my legs around his hips. With a throaty moan, he pushed harder and deeper than before. He impaled me again and again bringing me closer to my climax. I heard him inhale and knew he was taking in my scent. For a moment I remembered what he was and felt my heartbeat quicken. I didn't know if it was because of what his body was doing to mine or how vulnerable I was to him.

His thrusts into me were so deep that I could feel him in the pit of my stomach. His relentless pounding was gathering momentum and I could feel a warmth building in my very core. My breathing got heavier and the moans coming from my body were unnatural.

"Please, oh god, please." My pussy tightened around him as I felt him swell even more inside me. A few more hard strokes and I was free-falling into an abyss. Nothing made sense, nothing seemed real. I clutched against Edward as though he was thing only thing in this world that was real. That existed. My entire body seemed to explode with sensation and my pussy spasmed around him.

With an almost primal cry, he threw his head back and with one last thrust into me he unloaded. It was cold. Icy cold. I could feel his cock pulsate and twitch as it emptied into me. My pussy continued to clench and unclench around it. My heart was pounding so hard that is sounded within my ears.

Edward looked down at me as he tenderly ran his hand up and down my side. I shook at the goosebumps his cold skin left. I put my hand up to his face, running my fingers down his cheek. He reached up and clasped it with his own hand and brought my wrist to his mouth.

"Always remember, Bella." He stated with a defining tone. "You are mine."

I watched with euphoria as Edward bared his teeth and bite down into my wrist. I tried to scream but his hand covered my mouth, smothering my voice. I tried to pull myself away from him. I couldn't move. I shut my eyes against the pain. I wished the nightmare away.

"Bella? Bella, baby, wake up."

I twisted and turned. Opening my eyes, I found myself under the covers of my bed, fully clothes. I instinctively looked down at my wrist. No bite. No blood. No pain. I looked up at the face hovering above me.

"Edward?"

"I heard your heartbeat start fluttering like a hummingbird. You scared me. Were you having a nightmare?" Edward asked concerned.

"Yeah, I think so." I was still confused. I didn't know what to think. He didn't do anything. I knew it. I could feel it. My body hadn't been touched in that way.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Edward was practically begging. He was scared. I knew that just from the look on his face.

"No, I just want to sleep." I was terrified and excited at the same time. I knew the difference between my normal nightmares and this one. Edward would never hurt me. He only wanted to protect me from both myself and others. "You can stay."

"Only if you want me to." He answered honestly.

"I won't have said it if I didn't." I snapped smiling timidly. I wasn't sure if I really wanted him to stay but I didn't really want him to leave either.

He must have sensed something was not right. He smiled unconvinced and took up his statue-like stand near the window.

I rolled over, away from him and slowly found sleep take over again. I didn't dream the rest of that night.