"I have no idea what I should wear today.", I say as I'm walking out of the bathroom following my morning shower. Ever since we arrived home last night from Logan, Christian has begged me to take a few day off work. The reality of what happened with my mom and Elena finally came to the surface yesterday, but I need to work.

"Anything you wear will look good." He's standing in front of the mirror, tying his black tie. "Of course, I prefer you without clothes." He stalks towards me with a devilish smirk on his face. "But, I don't want you to get arrested for indecent exposure." His lips begin making tiny kisses along my neck. "So, are you sure you don't want to take at least the day off?"

"Christian.", I breathe while he continues moving along my neck. "I want to work. Besides, staying busy will help my mind stay off of what happened."

"Maybe talking to someone might help.", he says

"Like a therapist? I don't think I need a therapist."

"It's just a suggestion. I used to see one, but I haven't seen him in a while. After Cara died, I stopped going to our sessions. Some people may think that wasn't a bright idea, but I decided to do my own therapy of sorts and follow Taylor's advice to leave town. Meeting you helped me come to terms with what happened. Still, therapy is helpful." His playfulness from earlier has been replaced by what seems to be sadness.

"Christian, what's wrong?", I ask. He looks down and takes a deep breath.

"I've been thinking about going back to see my therapist, John Flynn. There's some things that I feel like I need to talk about, but I don't want to put them on you."

"What kind of things?" When he finally looks up, I see a small tear forming in the corner of his eye.

"Almost losing you.", he answers while wiping away the tear. My poor Christian. He may not have been at the house when everything happened, but he suffered too. "Just consider it , ok?"

"Ok.". I softly say. I finally decide to wear jeans and a white sleeveless that's I'm going to pair with a black jacket. "Let's get some breakfast. I'm starving." He nods his head and kisses tenderly. The butterflies in my stomach multiply as we stand there conjoined at the lips. I don't think I'll ever stop getting giddy when he's around.

"Come on woman, let's eat.", he chuckled while taking my hand and leading me to the kitchen. Gail is at the counter with a smile on her face.

"Good morning you two.", she says as we sit down at the table.

"Good morning Gail.", Christian and I reply at the same time. We instantly start laughing as does Gail. She walks over and places our breakfast of waffles and bacon on the table. Christian takes the syrup and pours it on his waffles before stopping to look at me.

"What is it? Do I have something on my face?", I ask. He moves over closer to me and puts his hand on my leg.

"Just the look of a woman who is probably having naughty thoughts about me using this syrup on her entire body.", he whispers in my ear. My panties are soaked.

"I wasn't, but I am now." He leans back in his chair with a pleased look on his face. It's obvious that he gets a kick out of arousing me at the snap of the finger.

"I can see myself pouring the syrup on you breasts and then gliding my tongue over them, taking in the sweetness. We'd have a sticky situation on our hands." Fuck! His verbal seduction of me is interrupted by the buzzing of his Blackberry. "It's my dad.", he says. "Dad, hey. How are you are? Yes, we arrived home last night. Is Mom there with you? Great, Ana's right here with me. I'm going to put you guys on speaker." I look at him and wonder what he's planning. His eyes go to my engagement ring, and I know that he's wanting to tell them our news. His eyes search mine for an answer as I nod. I'm marrying the world's most amazing man and want to tell everyone.

"Hey guys!", I hear Grace say. "How was your weekend away?"

"It was good.", I answer.

"Mom, Dad, there's something that we want to tell you.", Christian says.

"I have a feeling I know what it is or what I hope it is but tell us.", Carrick chimes in.

"We're engaged!" Laughter filters through the speaker.

"I knew it! Congratulations!"

"Yes, congratulations indeed. This is the best news. The two of you are going to happy a wonderful marriage. The love between you is so strong.", Grace cries. Soon, I hear Carrick sniffling as well.

"Thank you both so much. I feel blessed that I've met not only your son but the rest of the family as well. You've done nothing but make me feel welcome, and I greatly appreciate it."

"Ana, you're part of the family. We love you."

After breakfast, Christian and I kiss goodbye before Sawyer and I leave for the bookstore. I told Christian that I was fine without security, but he insisted. Knowing that he wasn't going to let up on the issue, I agreed. Haley is at the back set of shelves when I arrive.

"Hey Ana.", she says while walking over to me. "How was Logan?"

"It was perfect." I hold up my hand, showing her my ring. "Christian proposed, and I said yes."

"Ana, that's great. I know that I've only known you in a short amount of time, but you're my best friend. I want nothing but the best for you."

"Thanks. That's how I feel with you. When I came to Seattle, I was scared as hell. I had Christian, but I was afraid that I wouldn't have any friends. Then, I met you. Thank you for being a friend."

"Travel down the road and back again.", she giggles. It takes me a second to realize that she's saying the words to the Golden Girls theme song.

"Your heart is true. You're a pal and a confidant.", I add. Sawyer stops pouring his coffee and looks at us.

"And if you threw a party, invited everyone you knew.", Haley sings.

"You would see the biggest gift would be from me and the card attached would say, thank you for being a friend.", we sing together. We're both in tears from laughter by the time we're finished.

"I needed that.", I say as I calm down.

"Are you ok?"

"No, but I hope to be. What happened last week affected me more than I let on."

"I'm sorry. Anytime you want to talk, I'm here."

"I know, and I appreciate that. Christian asked me to consider talking to someone. I'm not sure if I should."

"I think that would be a good step. Sometimes talking to a stranger is the best thing. They have an unbiased opinion of the situation."

"I told him that I would think about it." I start working on building a new display for our children's books while Haley works on one for the autobiographies.

When it's time for me to take my lunch, I make plans to head to the deli down the street. Christian said that he had a meeting this morning, but I wonder if it's over by now. I decide to call him to see if he can join me.

"Hey baby.", he says.

"Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to have lunch with me."

"Baby, I would, but I'm on already on my way somewhere."

"Ok." He's quite for several minutes before speaking up.

"I'm going to see Flynn." Oh. "It was a spur of the moment kind of thing. Have you given any thought to seeing him?" I know ignoring what happened will only make things worse. Talking to Flynn one time couldn't be so bad, could it?

"I'll do it.", I answer. This is good Ana.

"All right. I'll see if he can come by the apartment so you will be more comfortable. When do you want to see him?" The sooner, the better

"Tonight."

When the work day is finally over, I have mixed feelings. I'm glad that work is finished, but I'm nervous about meeting with Flynn. Christian called after lunch and said that Flynn would be at Escala at six. Since I had to work till five, I hurry home to change and prepare myself.

"Relax baby.", Christian says while we're waiting on Flynn. "It's going to be fine. Talking with him today helped me, and it will help you as well."

"What does he know about me?"

"I told him about meeting and falling in love with you. Then, I told him that you've been through a lot this past month,which is the truth." A few minutes later, the sound of the elevator arriving turns my head. A tall, well dressed man enters the living room. "Thank you for coming.", Christian says as he shakes the man's hand. "Anastasia Steele, I would like you to meet John Flynn. John, this is my fiancé Anastasia Steele." Flynn smiles at me.

"Pleased to meet you Anastasia.", he says while shaking my head. I notice that he's British.

"Thank you. It's nice to meet you as well.", I murmur.

"I have some work to do.", Christian sighs.

"You're not staying?" I begin to feel more nervous.

"No, I'm going to leave you two to talk." He leans against my ear. "It's going to be ok." Christian kisses me briefly before going into his study. I'm left in the living room with Flynn.

"Have a seat.", I nervously motion to one of the chairs on the left side of the room.

"Thank you." He takes his seat as I sit down in a chair on the right side of the room. "I can sense that you're nervous about this, but I assure you there's nothing to be nervous about. I'm here to listen to you and help you."

"Ok."

"First off, I have to say that Christian looks like a completely different man. He seems happy which is something that used to be rare for him. I understand a great deal of that change is because of you."

"He's brought me happiness as well."

"Christian said that you've been through a lot of hardships in a short period." With my fingers knotted in my lap, I nod my head and begin thinking about everything that's taken place. "He mentioned that you lost your father."

"Yes, he passed away last month of cancer."

"You were close to him?", he asks.

"My mom left when I was fifteen, and my dad became both a mother and a father to me. I was lucky in having him as a parent. He was always there when I needed someone to talk to or when I needed a shoulder to lean on." I begin to not feel as nervous. Flynn has a kind look on his face, and he seems to be listening to everything I say. "When he was first diagnosed, I told myself that he was going to beat it. Hearing him say that he wasn't going to get better sent shock waves through me." I feel tears forming as I'm talking.

"You were aware of his imminent and were able to say goodbye, but that didn't take away the pain. No matter how much we try to prepare ourselves, it still hurts." A lot.

"I wish that I had more time with him, even if it was just one day, but I know that he's not suffering anymore. He's in a better place." As much as I miss my dad, I know this is true.

"After your dad died, you moved to Seattle with Christian.", he says. "I'm sure that was an adjustment."

"It was. I was completely out of my element at first. When I was in school, I was referred to as "Plain Ana." It was a name that I hated, but I felt like it fit. I often felt alone, but Christian helped me realize "Plain Ana" never existed. I'm more than that."

"Let's talk about your mother. I understand she showed up in Seattle. What were your feelings on that?"

"When she first left us, I wondered if it was because my dad and and I weren't good enough. Over time, I realized that we were better off without her. She was in Logan briefly before my dad died. While she said she wanted a relationship with me, I wanted nothing to do with her. I ended up finding out that she asked my dying dad for money which made me furious. Then, she had the nerve to show up in Seattle, claiming again that she wanted a relationship." I'm finding it easy to talk to him.

"You had doubts once again?"

"I found out that she sold stories about me and Christian to the newspaper. She teamed up with Elena Lincoln to sabotage my relationship. They started out with small ploys which didn't work. Then, things got worse." I begin thinking about that day at the bookstore, walking into the back room and having a gun pointed at me. My goosebumps have goosebumps as I see that moment in my head.

"Do you want to continue?", he asks. I know what's coming next, but I need to do this.

"Yes. I want to. I need to."

"All right. Let's revisit the day you were kidnapped."

"I had no idea that my mom would go to such extremes. She had a gun on me and forced me to get into the car with her and Elena. My brain began working in overdrive. I was certain that I was going to die. All I could think about was Christian and the life that we weren't going to have." Tears fall down my face.

"But you have that life. You didn't die."

"Only because my mom killed Elena. Hearing that gunshot and then seeing Elena lying there in a pool of blood...", I sob while looking down at the floor. "I watched my dad die, but it was something that I knew was coming and it wasn't.."

"Violent?", he asks as I nod. "Death is a traumatic event, no matter how it happens. Seeing someone die makes it clear that we can die at any moment. But when it happens in a violent way, it also takes away the security that we feel. It can cause you to be on edge constantly. Tell me about some of the things that's been going on with you."

"I've tried to divert conversations about what happened."

"Avoiding the issue doesn't help. In fact, it makes it worse. Your feelings will continue to build up more and more. Eventually, everything will come flooding out. What else has happened?"

"I've been jumpy, and I've also been having trouble sleeping. Yesterday, I thought I heard a gunshot but it was a truck backfiring. That's when I knew there was more going on than I realized."

"It's good that you saw that. You've been through an emotional tornado. The death of your father was the beginning of it, and the Elena situation was the culmination."

"How do I get past what I'm feeling?"

"You shouldn't expect things to get better overnight.", he says.

"I know."

"For starters, don't blame yourself. What happened was not your fault. Talk about your feelings instead of burying them. Also, keep your life as normal as possible. Don't change your way of life. Live and embrace the good."

"Ok." I've finally stopped crying.

After talking to Flynn for a few more minutes, I knock on Christian's door. He looks up from his chair.

"How are you feeling?"

"Emotionally drained, but I feel a little better." He stands and walks to where I'm standing, pulling me into his arms

"You're going to be ok baby."