Mid-January
"Welcome back, Lieu," Carisi said as Olivia made her way into the squad room around 10am that morning. She had just left the social worker's office, apparently having satisfied all of her inquiries about why she wanted Ed to adopt Noah. Now poor Ed was there, along with Noah, continuing what felt like an interrogation into their motives for being a family. It was frustrating, and not the way she wanted to start her first day back at SVU.
"Thanks," she responded with a nod and signaled for Fin to follow her into her office. He eyed Carisi and Rollins, wondering why she was acting like that, before following her and closing the door behind him.
"I want to say welcome back," Fin said with a little side eye look. "But you don't look too happy to be here."
Olivia just sighed as she began to get her desk back in the order she liked it. Clearly their temporary Captain didn't feel the need to put things back where he found them, which wasn't helping her current mood.
"Sorry," she finally said, sitting down and trying to appear more like the old Lieutenant Benson. "It's just been a long morning already…"
"Yeah? Coffee line long?" Fin said, trying to make her smile. It didn't work.
"No," she said. "Just left the social worker, answering all these bullshit questions about why Ed should adopt my son. Explain to me why this process is so fucking difficult."
"Ed Tucker is adopting Noah?" Fin asked, a little surprised even though he shouldn't be. She married the man, why was adopting the kid any different?
"Yeah," she said with the first smile he had seen since she walked in. "He is. Well, we hope he is. That Audrey lady was a bitch this morning to me. I can only imagine how it will go for Ed. At least Noah gets to talk to someone else."
"They're interviewing the four year old, too?" Fin asked, flabbergasted.
"Yep," she confirmed. "Ridiculous, right? But, I suppose I understand. Given what we see in our line of work...I just don't enjoy people questioning my parenting skills."
"Geez," Fin said. "Well, that explains your frowny entrance."
"Hey Lieu, Sarge, we gotta call - assault in progress - Central Park," Carisi said as he put his jacket on and tossed Rollins the keys to the squad car. Fin and Olivia stood right back up, grabbing their jackets as well.
"I'll drive," Fin said, looking at Liv and assuming they would take their own car. "Glad you're back."
"Wanna know something, Fin?" Olivia asked as they made their way to the elevator, trusting Fin more than anyone in her squad.
"Always, Liv."
"I'm not so sure I'm glad to be back."
Meanwhile, Ed was sitting in a terribly bland office in the Financial District being scrutinized by a snobby looking lady with red hair and a shrill voice. So far, most of her questions were borderline offensive, given the fact he had been Noah's Daddy, unofficially, for a couple of years. The whole process was infuriating to him, and he made sure that was known.
"Captain Tucker," Audrey said sternly. "You realize that I have to sign off on you adopting Noah. I'd appreciate your cooperation."
Ed just nodded and mumbled an apology, trying reign himself in for the sake of getting this over with, but the lady was pushing his buttons. First, she was prying into why he wasn't around when Charlie was growing up. She had clearly done her homework and dug up what had happened to the girl in college, then proceeded to use that against him in the interview. If throwing someone's biggest regret in their face was an Olympic sport, Audrey would win gold. As if that wasn't enough, now they were rehashing every single altercation he had while in the NYPD even though he was always cleared.
"I see that you retired after you shot a man. Is that correct?" Audrey said, her glasses down her nose and looking at him with piercing green eyes.
"I made that choice after an unfortunate chain of events," Ed said calmly. "I had complete support of the NYPD to return to work, but I decided to retire in order to be there fully for Charlie and Noah."
"Really?" She pressed. "Because from what I can tell, your retirement was part of a deal made with the man you shot."
Ed's eyes got narrow and he gripped the seat.
"That 'man' you are referring to stalked and raped my daughter for years. He was leaving her apartment, after attacked her again, and pulled a gun on me. In fact, he shot me first. I'm fine, by the way, in case you were concerned. My retirement had nothing to do with people forcing me out and everything to do with wanting to be a father to my children, ensuring that nothing and no one would ever hurt them again." He finally stopped, but his point was made. Even the social worker seemed to take in the growl of his voice as he spoke those words. She just nodded and flipped through a few more pages, clearly done pressing him on that topic.
"Tell me why you want to adopt Noah," she finally said, closing her file and picking up a notepad to try and take some notes. Ed was a little startled at the sudden change. The woman had been grilling him about every aspect of his past, and now she wanted to know why he was petitioning to adopt Noah?
"Because I love him," Ed replied simply. "I love him more than anything in this world. Noah, Charlie, and Olivia are everything to me. I spent years pouring my entire life into the NYPD, but Olivia changed that. She came along and with her came everything I had ever wanted, but never realized it. And because of her, because of Noah….I have my daughter back. After years of being alone, and pining for a family, I have one. I have a wife, a daughter, and a son. I want it to be official, so no one else can ever question whether I am that boy's father. But whether or not you approve this, Noah will ALWAYS be my son. And I will love him and provide for him and protect him. Along with his mother and his sister. No sheet of paper will ever change that."
While Ed was being grilled by the ever snobby Audrey, Noah was in the room next door playing with some blocks and talking to a lovely social worker named Karen. He was incredibly apprehensive about being separated from Ed, but once Karen pulled out the colorful blocks he very slowly began to build little towers and knock them down. She would laugh along with him, helping him feel more at ease, and as they continued to play with the blocks she began to ask him some questions.
"So, Noah," she said casually, as she added an orange block to the tower. "Tell me about your Mommy."
"Mommy Loo-tent," he said very matter-of-factly, adding a red block on top of the orange one. "She get bad guys. But she always come home. And she cuddle and read stories."
"Sounds like a good Mommy," the lady said kindly, stopping to watch how the little boy's face would react when he spoke.
"She da best Mommy," he said. "We a SUPER-FAMILY."
"Super Family, huh?" she asked, smiling a little at how the boy spoke so happily about his family. "Who all is in your Super Family, Noah?"
"It me, Mommy, Daddy, and Tar-lie," he said. "Tar-lie my sister. She make forts wiff me, and watch Pan, and let me eat ice cream for breakfus."
"That sounds like a great sister," Karen said, laughing a little bit. "Tell me about your Daddy. Is that Captain Tucker?"
"Yes," Noah nodded in confirmation. "I call him Cap'n when I was baby. But now I big boy and he Daddy."
"What kinds of things do you do with your daddy?"
"We go to park and he push me HIGH on the swings. Den we eat hotdogs and feed da birds. He read me lots of stories and never makes me and Tar-lie clean up da fort like Mommy does."
"He sounds like a fun Daddy, Noah." Karen said, before getting a little more serious. "Does your Daddy ever do anything to hurt you or make you sad?"
"No!" Noah yelled as he balked at the question. "Daddy say he always po-tect me and keep me safe. He not make me sad. Dat bad and Daddy not bad. He da best. Super-Daddy."
"What does your Daddy teach you?" the social worker asked, still trying to make sure everything was Kosher in the Benson-Tucker household before signing off. Noah seemed to stop building for a second and touch his hand to his cheek as he was thinking. Karen tried not to smile at the cuteness, but it was nearly impossible. The little boy was adorable.
"Well," he said, tapping his index finger just under his eye. "He teached me to be da best date."
"The best date?" Karen asked, not expecting that answer. "You are already dating?"
"No - I only four!" Noah said loudly, as he help up four fingers just to make his point. "I taked Tar-lie on a date when we in Ba Ba Dos. Daddy always bring flowers for Mommy when they go on date. And he hold her hand. And kiss her cheek. And open door for her. So Daddy tell me that I do that for Tar-lie. He say 'No-ah, you be gen-tel-man wiff Tar-lie, cuz that da rule.' So I say otay and picked her purdy flowers and held her hand and paid for da ice-cream, but she gived me money."
Karen just watched Noah as he explained his date and smiled widely. The little boy was essentially an old soul in a four year old body, just with his mannerisms and how he would speak. Karen was familiar with Noah's case from years earlier when Benson first became his foster mother. The little boy didn't speak much and was very closed off to everyone, except Olivia. But now he was thriving. It was as if he were a totally different, and completely normal, little boy. Amazed by the transition, Karen decided that was enough of an interview. There was no way she would consider denying this little boy his happily ever after. He deserved a lifetime of park dates with Ed, fort making with Charlie, and the unconditional love of Olivia Benson.
"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!" Noah yelled as Olivia finally made it through the door around 8pm that night. He took off from his play spot under the window and jumped straight into her arms.
"Oh, my love," she said as she held him close and smelled his freshly washed hair. "I missed you so much today."
"I miss you too, Momma," he said, snuggling right into her chest and playing with her necklace. "You and Tar-lie have same necklace."
"Yep," Olivia said, moving to the couch and sitting with him so he could curl up on her lap. "You and Daddy gave them to us last Christmas, remember?"
"I member," he said softly.
"How was your visit with Miss Karen today?" Olivia had been worried most of the day about how it was going. She had little time to text with Ed after he finished, but it was clear he was stressed about it. He only gave her short answers and finally just said "we'll talk when you get home". As Noah began to tell her all about building with blocks, she strained her head to try and see where exactly her husband was.
"Mommy," Noah said and used his little hands to turn her face back towards him. He was no fool, he knew his mom wasn't listening.
"Sorry baby" she said, kissing his nose. "Where's your Daddy?"
"I'm right here," she heard from behind and they both turned to see Ed coming towards them with his Bourbon in hand and sweats on his body.
"Hey baby," she said as he sat down so their thighs were touching and went to kiss her.
"Ewwwww," Noah began to giggle at them, causing his parents to smile and pull apart before attacking him with kisses. "Ah! Mommy! Daddy!"
The husband and wife finally relented and leaned back against the couch, Olivia's head on Ed's shoulder, and Noah curling back into his mother's chest, thumb in mouth. She watched as Tucker's opposite arm wrapped around their son and his hand rubbed at his little neck and back, as if he was afraid the little boy would disappear.
"You okay?" Olivia asked softly, covering Ed's hand with hers as they just lounged on the couch and basked in each other's presence. Noah was still aside from his soft breathing, just fingering her necklace, his little face turned towards Ed and his thumb in his mouth.
"Yeah," he sighed, still keeping his eyes on the little boy's face, watching as his eyes slowly drifted shut. "Just keep thinking about the interview…"
Olivia, cognizant of the fact Ed was enjoying their family cuddle, tried to move her head so she could look at his face.
"I don't care what that social worker says," Olivia informed him, firmly. She knew it hadn't gone well, despite his hesitance to bring up details. So she was going with some assurances. "You are Noah's father. You always have been and you always will be."
"It's not that," he said, stroking the little boy's head as he snoozed against his mother. "I know I'm his Daddy."
"Then what is it?" Olivia asked, now puzzled as to why her normally brooding, confident husband was so melancholy.
"This is my chance," he said softly, knowing that didn't clear anything up for Olivia. Ed cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm a lucky SOB to get a second chance at being a Daddy. I screwed up when Charlie was little. Noah is my second chance. My last chance. And I've never wanted to be more perfect at anything in the world."
"There's not such thing as a perfect parent," Olivia said, almost as a little sigh, trying not to burst his bubble. "We will make mistakes. It's inevitable. But we will love him. And support him. And protect him. He knows you are his Daddy. And you are Charlie's Daddy. It's that is what's perfect."
"I love you," Ed said, finally prying his eyes away from the four year old and looking at his wife. "And I love our family. Our perfectly imperfect family."
Two more chapters to go...hit that review button and leave your thoughts!