Chapter Thirty Eight
When Chris awoke again there was a weight against his feet, lifting his head up a little he saw 'Snuffles' on the end of the bed. To his left was Moony in an armchair, his Slytherin friends were on one couch that had been moved in and his Gryffindor ones on another. John was leaning against the wall having a conversation with Snape, he rubbed his eyes again, Mr and Mrs Weasley were here too?
Holy hell in a fucking hand basket, he was screwed.
He kicked at Snuffles, "Get off!" he muttered.
The big, black dog lifted its head and looked at him before changing back into Sirius, "Good to see you're awake." Sirius grinned, putting a couple of pillows behind Chris.
"What are you all doing here?" Chris asked.
"Well, Professor Dumbledore thought I might like to know my son almost died." Sirius said as if he were talking about the weather.
"It wasn't that bad. My arm turned black, it's not like my brain turned to mush and dribbled out my ears or anything."
"That's not the point!" Sirius shouted, startling everyone out of their sleep or conversations.
"What is the point then Sirius?" Chris shouted back.
Sirius took a breath and calmed down a bit, "The point is, you broke school rules and you put yourself in danger. So you're going to be punished Chris."
Chris gestured to his arm, "Don't you think this is punishment enough?"
Sirius shook his head, "Not this time kid."
"Sirius-"
"You're grounded." He said flatly, "John was kind enough to give us the necessary anti orbing spells, which we cast while you were sleeping."
"That's not fair!"
"Oh boy I haven't even started!" Sirius snapped.
"Sirius-" Remus started.
"Shut up Remi and let me finish!" Sirius glared at his friend, "You're completely grounded for a month. Which means, no orbing, no wandless magic and no leaving the castle unless it's for Care of Magical Creatures or Divination."
"WHAT?"
Everyone was watching them now.
"And, to make sure you don't do anything stupid," Sirius added, "Your friends here have all volunteered to take turns watching you."
"What?"
"There are spells in place to make sure that you can't go any further then the courtyard unless you have class but you have to be with whoever is looking out for you in those classes."
"You've made my friends my babysitters?" He snarled, "And you're trapping me in the castle? That's so unfair!"
Why weren't his powers working? By now things should be flying all over the room.
He looked down at his wrist and below the bracelet Hermione bought him for Christmas was the power inhibitor.
"How dare you!" Chris shouted at him, "While I was unconscious? That's not fair! Take it off me, now." He growled.
"No." Sirius said, crossing his arms over himself, "That's staying on your wrist for the next two weeks and if your attitude improves it will come off then."
"You are such an asshole!"
"Stop being a brat and realise what I'm doing is to make sure you stay alive!" Sirius shouted at him, "There is no more discussion about it. You're grounded for a month, that power inhibitor is on your wrist for the next two weeks no matter how badly you want it off right now. When the power inhibitor comes off you'll be able to orb around the castle but nowhere else. And you will be in the company of one of these fine people at all times for the entire month because, that's the only way you will be able to leave the castle. And no Hogsmeade trip either."
"I hate you!" Chris shouted, throwing a pillow at his father, "You're imprisoning me in the fucking school! I'm never speaking to you again!" He screamed.
"You've got no idea about being imprisoned Christopher. And you know damn well that you're getting what you deserve."
"Get out!"
"Chris your father's only doing what he thinks is right."
"Fuck off Uncle Remus." Chris snarled.
Remus looked slightly taken aback but Snape stepped in, "Your punishment is by no means over Mr Black. Once you are able to use your arm properly, which Madame Pomfery has informed me will be by Wednesday, you will have a week's worth of detention with the Weasley boys, Potter and Jordan and Mr Malfoy."
Chris cocked his head to the side, "Why?"
Snape sneered, "Well Mr Black, Mr Potter is nowhere near as good at Occlumency as you are."
Chris shot a glance at Harry and rolled his eyes, "But Sir why Malfoy?"
"Because Mr Malfoy neglected to mention he knew of your little prank. And before I leave I have one more thing to say."
"Sir?"
"Ten points to Gryffindor for the singing toad. Very creative." With that obscure remark and a really funny smile, Snape left the Founders' Rooms.
"Chris." Sirius said, "Look at me."
Chris set his jaw tightly and turned his head and stared stubbornly in the other direction.
"Fine. You don't have to look at me." Sirius sighed, "And I know you don't believe me, but this is for your own good. I love you and it's my job to protect you and Harry. And what I'm doing right now is to protect you, even if you can't see that now. Remus and I are going now. Hope you feel better soon." With that being said, Sirius and Remus left. They missed the silent tear that slid down Chris' cheek.
"Chris." Molly said gently. Chris turned to Mrs Weasley but didn't say anything, "Chris, Sirius loves you, and he's worried about you. We all are, and you need to realise that this is for your own good."
He humpfed stubbornly in response.
"And Harry and Hermione have agreed to watch you for the next couple of hours," Arthur said, " Draco and Blaise will be in when their time's over."
"Oh great," Chris said sarcastically, "Changing of the guards. Do you expect me to feel honored or something?"
Molly and Arthur left. Now it was John's turn, "Don't you think you're being a bit harsh kid? They're only looking out for your best interests."
"I'm so not talking to you at the moment John White." Chris snapped. "Did you even stop to consider what happens if Barbus attacks? Did you know he's taken over the Underworld? I've already been attacked by a darklighter and had the demon of rage trying to take down the entire school, do you have any idea how hard it was bind an entire school's magic?"
"Barbus attacks, you call for reinforcements. Something I want you to do even when you get your powers back." John said, "But don't go thinking you're completely defenseless Christopher Halliwell, your wand is a formidable weapon if you use it properly."
"Oh shove your pep talks up your long dead ass."
"Don't be smart, it doesn't help you any." John said, completely unfazed by Chris' attitude, "And you should apologise to Sirius and Remus. Molly and Arthur too."
"Bye-bye now John boy."
"Don't start Christopher." John warned.
"Don't you have a date with a cloud?"
"Oh, by the way, Piper told me to tell you to stop being a little bastard and behave yourself."
"She'd never say that." Chris countered, "Mum never swore at me."
"Well, not in so many words. It was more like, tell Christopher to stop being a little smart ass and a brat and do as he's told for once in his life or I'll come down and kick his ass personally."
"That sounds like her." Chris said, "Still, go away."
"Fine." John said, "I'll talk to you again when you're a little more reasonable." John orbed out. (A/N: The wards are set up so Chris can't orb.)
Chris moved his left arm so it was across his lap, crossing his right over it he glowered at the other teens, "Don't you have places to go? Other people to annoy?"
The Slytherins and Ron and Ginny stood up, "Good luck Potter, Granger." Draco said, "I can see you're going to need it." Draco said before turning to Chris, "Grow up Black, we'll see you later." With that the little group of Slytherins left.
"Yeah, see you later." Ron said, "Hope you feel better soon." Chris mumbled something unintelligible in response.
"You are being completely unreasonable Chris."
"Oh shut up Potter."
Harry stood up straight, "Listen to me Chris, you can't go treating people like trash when they do something you don't like. Sirius is doing his best to try and keep you safe and by the way you're acting you don't really give a damn. But we all do. Merlin Chris, you've gotten Gryffindor and Slytherin speaking to one another, do you have any idea how amazing that is?"
Chris glared up at Harry, "Whatever."
"No, not whatever, you owe most of the people who were in this room just now an apology! You might not like what Sirius and the others did but if you had of stayed out of the forest like I told you too, none of this would have happened! Do you know how worried Sirius was?" Harry ranted, "And Remus did nothing to you! If anything he told Sirius he was being too harsh! And you're acting like a bloody first-year girl with PMS! So like Malfoy said, GROW UP!"
Chris looked up from his hand, "Are you quite done Harry?" Chris said softly.
"For now."
"Good. I need you to get six things for me."
"You don't deserve anything at the moment." Hermione said from the seat.
Chris shot a glance at his girlfriend before returning to his charge, "Harry this is important, I need, my laptop, my mp3 player, my video camera, the book of shadows, Rowena Ravenclaw's potion book and for heavens sake could I please have a shirt?"
Harry swallowed, "Yeah, okay."
"Actually, you can't have a shirt." Hermione said, "Not yet anyway."
"Why not?"
"Because Madame Pomfery said she needed us to watch the blackness. See how long it takes it to start to leave."
"Yay." Chris said sarcastically.
"Stop acting like a child."
Chris ignored her and turned to Harry, "So it's a no to the shirt, but what about the rest of the stuff?"
Harry looked over to Hermione who nodded before saying, "What do you need them for?"
"Well the book and the potion book are because of a dream I had and the computer is because I need to work something out. Video camera because I had a vision and the mp3 player because knowing you two you're going to chew my ear off about my attitude for the next two or three hours and I might like some light relief."
Harry smirked at him in an almost Malfoy like way, "I'll get you everything but the mp3 player."
"Fine. The muggle stuff's in my trunk." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key attached to a long strip of leather, "This opens the desk draw on the desk opposite Salzar's portrait. I need the video that's in there and a fresh tape."
Harry took the key and left for the library, Hermione glowered at him.
"Oh what now?"
"Harry had a point you know."
"Oh really?"
"Yes really. Remus really did tell Sirius he was being too harsh on you. I thought he was being to harsh on you too but now I see you deserve it."
"Oh ouch." He said bitchily, "My girlfriend's got balls."
"That's uncalled for." She said sharply, "And if you keep being a jackass there will be no kind of touching, kissing or anything else between us at all for the next month."
Chris pouted and nodded, "Fine, okay. You play really dirty."
"Sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do." Hermione said, picking up a stray book, "Thought you might like to know the newspaper article was a success."
Chris frowned, "Christ, what day is it?"
"Monday."
"And Snape let you and Harry off Potions?"
"His idea, with a little prompting from your father."
"Can we not talk about Sirius for five minutes?"
"I'm back." Harry said, handing Chris back the key along with his laptop, video camera, tapes and the books he wanted.
Chris turned on the laptop and pushed it toward the end of the bed before flicking open the book of shadows.
"What are you looking for?"
"The Tribunal." Chris said, "It's a thing."
"What kind of thing?"
"Well, they're a neutral party, and there's this thing called the Circle of Truth. You touch it and it shows you the truth about things past. Like after my Aunt Phoebe had this vision about her being pregnant and there being no demons and she started using her powers to try and fast track her dating. It showed all the times she'd used her powers improperly."
"So?"
"So I figure if Sirius steps on the circle the Ministry can see the truth."
"Huh?" Said Harry.
Chris rolled his eyes, "The circle of truth would prove that Sirius wasn't working with Voldemort and that Pettigrew was your parents' Secret Keeper."
"Oh."
"But Chris, you know that to do that you'd need to convince Fudge to reopen Sirius' case, move the place for the trial and put Sirius in front of the Minister and the Aurors who would no doubt arrest your father on sight. Aside from that you'd need some pretty serious evidence to warrant even speaking to the Minister about the case. And the Minister for Magic probably would never listen to a sixteen year old in the first place!"
"I'm working on it Mione. I've got the finer details to work on!"
"Okay, okay."
"So I guess I have something I can work on while I'm being baby sat huh?"
"What do you want us to do?" Harry asked.
"Don't really care to be honest." Chris said frankly, "You guys could always have a look in the F library and see if there's anything about Ministry trials being moved."
"Oh no mister!" Hermione said, "Not gonna work. I'll go. Harry, you stay here with Chris."
Hermione left and Chris yawned loudly, "You tired?" Harry asked.
"Nope." Chris replied stubbornly, flicking through the Book of Shadows.
"You know, you don't have to act like a little brat."
"I know."
"So why are you?"
"Coz I want to."
"You know that's not really fair."
"That's life." Chris said, not looking up from the book.
"You can be a real ass when you don't get things your own way, you know that?"
"Yup."
"Why are you being like that?"
Chris gave him a look of 'you can't be serious' then went back to his work, knowing full well Harry was still staring at him, "Harry don't you have something better to do?" he asked without looking up, "Like Potions homework?"
"What did you want the potion book for?"
"You're not going to like that. So I'll save it until I get my powers back."
"I want to know now."
"Wormtail's hand."
"What the hell do you mean, Wormtail's hand?"
"The one he cut off."
"No."
"No what?" Chris asked.
"There is no way in hell!"
"Look, once I get my powers back we'll just orb to the cemetery, grab the hand and come back."
"It won't be there." Harry said, "Don't you remember, flesh of the servant?"
"Precisely Harry, flesh. Not the bone. The bones of the hand will still be in the cauldron. We orb in, grab the hand out of the cauldron, orb back, use the potion and-"
"Look, it's a stupid idea and we're NOT doing it!" Harry snapped, grabbing the Potion book and the Book of Shadows off the bed before Chris could protest.
"Harry give those back!" he yelled.
"NO!"
Hermione ran in, "What's wrong?"
"Take these back into the library and don't give them back to Chris."
"Why not."
Harry's eyes narrowed dangerously, "Don't give them back to him Hermione."
Hermione looked over at Chris who was glaring angrily at Harry, "Okay."
She disappeared back into the library and Chris threw a pillow (Well he wasn't going to throw his video camera or laptop was he?) at Harry, "You are such a fucking asshole."
"It's a stupid plan that won't work. And you'll get us both killed."
Chris rolled his eyes, "Orb in, orb out, it's not that complicated, even Crabbe and Goyle could do it."
"You know that house that was on the hill?" Chris nodded, "That was Riddle Manor. As in Tom Riddle, as in Voldemort. As in the guy who wants to kill me!"
"Don't you think I know that?" Chris asked, his eyebrow arching over his right eye, "I never said that it didn't come with an element of danger. But it's a simple plan and once the month's over I'm going to do it. With or without your help." Chris said angrily.
Hermione came back with no idea why Chris and Harry were glaring furiously at each other.
So after an hour and a half of furious glares, outright hostility and Chris playing Solitare on his computer Draco and Blaise arrived and after a quick word to the Slytherins Harry and Hermione left.
"Well Black, nice to see your attitude has improved." Draco smirked.
"Hmpf."
"What are you doing?" Blaise asked.
"Sulking."
"Why?"
"Because Harry took away my Book and my Potion book."
"Why'd he do that?" Blaise asked.
"Coz I made him cranky." Chris said, pouting like a five year old.
"You made him cranky?" Draco smirked, "Black you sound like you're five."
"Sorry Dray, not all of us have silver spoons up our asses." The pillow he'd thrown earlier was thrown back at him full force, "Draco!"
Doing a rather startlingly good impersonation of his father Draco looked down his nose and said, "Well Mr Black, perhaps you should refrain from making such rude comments and you will not have people throwing pillows at you."
Chris laughed, "You're such an ass Draco."
"Takes one to know one."
"Now who sounds like they're five?"
"Children, if you're quite done-"
"What?" Chris pouted, looking over to Blaise.
"I have your Potions homework Snowman. Ours too Draco."
"Oh be still my beating heart," Chris grinned, "Potions homework."
"What would you rather do?"
"Burn it?" Chris said innocently.
"Chris!" Blaise admonished before the three of them started laughing.
"What?"
"You can't burn your Potions homework, if we don't do it Snape'll kick our asses."
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
So, half an hour and three completed Potions essays later Chris, Draco and Blaise were talking before a grin spread over Draco's face, "I almost forgot. We bought you a present."
"What?"
Draco reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out Chris' mp3 player and watched the grin on Chris' face spread, "How'd you get it?"
"First years are surprisingly helpful." Draco said, "Especially if Draco Malfoy has his wand in his hand."
"Oh," Blaise said, reaching into the pocket of his cloak, "the first year grabbed these too."
Chris' grin threatened to split his face when he saw the chocolate, "You guys are the best friends a guy could ever have, I mean, really, threatening first years, what more could a guy ask from his friends?"
"Hey, we haven't finished with the surprises."
"No?"
"No." Blaise grinned, and from his other pocket came out a bottle of Fire Whiskey.
"Oh my you boys spoil me." Chris grinned broadly.
If Madame Pomfery had caught them during the next hour there would have been hell to pay but no, it wasn't Madame Pomfery, it was Ginny.
"Ginny!" Chris beamed at her, "How ya doin?"
Ginny eyed the two Slytherins suspiciously, "What did you do to him?"
Chris hid the Fire Whiskey bottle behind him, as Draco said, "Nothing Weasel-ette. Nothing at all."
"See ya Snowman. I'll give your essay to Snape."
"Thanks Blaise!" Chris grinned, waving at him like a little kid. Evidently the pain relieving potion and Fire Whiskey didn't go well together and Chris was essentially off his face, "Bye Dray!"
The Slytherins left and Ginny sat at the end of his bed, "How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Great!" he grinned, "You want some chocolate?" he held out the bag, still beaming like a little kid.
"Sure." She took the bag and had a couple of bits, "Chris are you feeling okay? You were really unhappy a couple of hours ago."
"I feel heaps better now Gin. I'll write to Sirius soon and tell him I'm sorry. Uncle Remus too…I was mean. I'm usually only really mean to demons. And listen to me, I'm rambling, that's what happens when I'm a little drunk. Don't think the Firewhiskey's meant to go with the pain relieving potions."
Ginny's eyes widened, "You've been drinking?"
"Maybe just a little." He confessed.
"Where is it?"
"Not telling."
Ginny walked over to him and saw the bottle hiding behind him, snatching it she went back to the other end of the bed, "Who gave you the drink?"
"The tooth fairy?"
"Try again."
"Um, maybe it was Blaise?"
"I'll kill him!"
"No! I like Blaise! He's my friend!" he blurted.
"Okay, you need to sleep."
"No sleeping! Not tired." He ruined the effect by ending the sentence with a long yawn and lying back into the pillows and closing his eyes.
Grinning, Ginny began to move Chris' stuff off the bed and put his blanket all the way over him.
"Sleep tight Chris."
Chris opened his eyes, "Wha-"
"Oh thank God you're awake!"
"Mum?"
"Yeah Sweetheart , it's me." Piper said with a smile, "You gave us quite a scare."
"What happened?" He asked.
"You fell, in the park. What were you doing so far up that tree in the first place? You gave your brother quite a scare."
"You're all dead. You're giving me quite a scare."
"Chris I'm not dead. You've been in a coma for a few days."
"That's not possible." Chris said, pushing himself up and wincing as he did so, looking down he saw a cast on his left arm, "What happened?"
"You broke it in about three different places, got a nice bump on your head too."
"What about Sirius? And Harry? And Uncle Remus?"
"Who? Chris what are you talking about?"
"Sirius. My real father! You had written the letter telling me that Dad wasn't my Dad! I want to know where Sirius is!"
"Chris calm down. I don't know who you're talking about. Your dad is your dad!"
Chris rubbed his forehead in frustration, "None of this makes any sense mum."
"Maybe it was just a dream." Piper suggested, "You know what you're like when you get nightmares, strange things happen."
"Yeah but it wasn't all bad. I mean, you were dead, and that was bad because I thought I was alone, but I wasn't. I had Sirius, Remus and Harry, he's like my best friend!"
"Better not let DJ hear you say that."
"Yeah, I had a girlfriend too mum! Her name was Hermione…and another cousin."
"Another one?"
"Draco. Funny SOB."
Piper nodded, "Tell me more about Draco."
Chris frowned, tell her more about Draco? "Mum, why do you want to know about Draco?"
"Well if there's more family out there I'd like to know about them."
Chris frowned, something was wrong here.
A doctor walked in, "Ah, Mr Halliwell, it's nice to see you're awake. Do you want to go home?"
Chris nodded dumbly, "Yeah, that would be nice."
Skip scene
Chris, with Piper by his side, walked up the steps to the manor, but something was wrong. It was…different somehow.
"What's wrong honey?"
Chris frowned, "Mum?"
"Yeah honey?"
"What's my nickname?"
"Honey."
Little Tiny Line Break # 126
It was eleven p.m. and Minerva McGonagall had taken over the watch of Sirius Black's son. Oh Merlin this boy was more trouble then his father!
Her eyes narrowed, the boy was getting distressed, she watched his hands, the right was curled tightly into a fist and the left was twitching violently. And the most disturbing thing was the shining green orbs on the bracelet around his wrist were glowing green and the power inhibitor was over a thousand years old and had been on the wrists of some of the most powerful wizards in history even Salzar Slytherin himself. was cracking, a bright green light emmiting from the cracks.
She ran to the fireplace to call Professor Dumbledore, "Albus! Albus you need to get down here! Bring Severus with you! Something's wrong with Black!"
"Be there shortly Minerva."
Minerva turned back to where Chris was lying on the bed looking worse then he did when he was infected with that poison.
Minutes later Dumbledore and Snape were in the room, "What's wrong Minerva?"
Snape walked into the bedroom and saw the boy, and rushed to see his right wrist, "Headmaster, the inhibitor is cracking."
Dumbledore was by Severus' side in an instant, "That's impossible. That bracelet was cast by Salzar himself…the magic is too strong."
"Mum, what's my nickname?"
"What does that mean?" Minerva asked.
"He's dreaming." Dumbledore said.
"So we need to wake him up." She said.
The three teachers could feel the power radiating off the boy in waves, whatever was going on inside that boy's head was serious.
Chris touched the door handle and a flash flood of images rushed through his mind, he didn't catch the cold, the ten of them had gone to the fair, it had rained as soon as he and Pen had bought fairy floss causing their hands to go pink and sticky.
They hadn't died. He wasn't alone.
But something was nagging him, this wasn't right, it wasn't home.
"Little brother!"
Chris looked up, Yup, he thought to himself, something's definitely wrong here. Wyatt's eyes are so not green.
Sirius was home. Wake the fuck up! Back to Hogwarts!
"Chris honey, is something wrong?"
Chris was so deep in thought he didn't notice he wasn't moving, standing stock still in the foyer Chris said, "I want to see the book."
"What book honey?"
"The Book of Shadows and stop calling me honey!"
Piper's eyes narrowed, "Don't' take that tone with me Christopher. And what the hell is the Book of Shadows?"
"You don't know?"
Piper shook her head, "No Chris. I don't."
"JOHN GET YOUR ASS HERE NOW!"
"Stop shouting Chris! Who's John? What's the matter?"
Chris backed away from Piper and Wyatt, "You're not real. You're not real. You're fucking dead and I want to go home!"
"You are home!" Piper said gently, "Please Chris, you're scaring me."
Wyatt wrapped his arms around his brother, "Come on baby brother, let's go sit down."
"Stay the hell away from me!" Chris screamed, "You're not my brother! You're not Wyatt! Your eyes have never been green!"
"What are you talking about Chris? Of course they are."
"No! They're blue!" He rounded on his mother, "And my nickname's not honey!"
Little Tiny Line Break # 127
Lord Voldemort was not happy. The boy was smart. He knew that what he was sending was false. How?
He needed to keep that boy out of the way.
Christopher Black was an obstacle Lord Voldemort did not want or need. And he would not stand for being annoyed by something he could get rid of.
So he'd play to the family side. Make him believe that his life here was just a dream. Or at least, that was the plan. But that wasn't working, the boy knew dreams from reality.
Little Tiny Line Break # 128
The cracks became more and more defined to the point of shattering and the teen sat bolt upright, his green eyes wide and bright, panting heavily.
"Black?" McGonagall said slowly.
"Where-"
Snape edged closer, seeing the confusion in the boy's eyes he said, "Halliwell?"
Chris frowned, "You called me Halliwell."
"That's your name isn't it?" Snape asked.
Chris smiled softly, "No. It's Halliwell-Black." He paused, "You know that Professor."
"You know where you are?"
"Hogwarts." Chris replied.
"Where in specific?"
"A room in the suite where Sirius and Remus stayed after I'd been demon hunting."
"And do you know why your arm's black?"
"Because of the Centaur poison that had been in my veins after I'd been shot whilst I was in the Forbidden Forest." He paused again, "Professor Snape, I assure you, I am fine. I know where I am, I know who you all are, I'm okay. It was just a bad dream."
"Black, your 'bad dream' almost shattered the power inhibitor on your wrist."
Chris looked down and saw the cracked bracelet, "Pity I didn't break the thing completely." He said off handedly. He yawned, "Professors, while I'm sure you're really enjoying this lovely chat would you mind if I went back to sleep? I have a thumping headache and sitting upright isn't helping any."
McGonagall smirked at him, "Before you go back to sleep I thought I would let you know I spoke to your friends about their choices in gifts to bring you."
Chris smiled, "I take it you spoke to Ginny."
"That I did."
(A/N: Chapter 38, we here at Crazy8ball's discount fanfic story center hope you enjoy the latest installment of 'What if you weren't a Halliwell? Stay tuned for updates of LSA2-Return of the Oracle and Mates? After the break.)
(A/N 2: Sorry, took the silly pills this evening.)
(A/N 3: I know Sirius' punishment was a little harsh but as a reviewer kindly pointed out he gets off stuff rather lightly...and I'm going to have fun making Chris all stroppy)