Chapter 37 Declared

EPOV

"That's a six hour ride Em, even if we left here at sun up the whole day would be wasted getting there." Jasper made a good point.

"I agree. If we only go as far as Capitol State Forest we can knock two hours off that easily and we can have a good run at the trails both days." There was no way Bella would be able to hang on to the back of the bike for six hours straight. Four was pushing it too, but it was better than six.

"Ok. But if we go to Capitol we take the Northern trails, not the Southern. I'm not running down Jaz again if he smells a snack like last time. That shit stings dude." Emmett was referring to our last hunting trip into the Capitol Forest Park. The Northern half of the park was designated for trail bike and four wheel drive users while the Southern half was designated for horses and hikers only. They'd strayed a little too far south last time and Jasper had fled into the forest after some hikers. Emmett had had to retrieve him – Carlisle and I had gone on foot further north in search of bigger game and the two others had gone off on their own on the bikes – and had ended up with a nasty bite mark to his left hip. Jasper had apologized a hundred times since, but Emmett still smarted over it.

Jasper grimaced and Emmett said sorry for bringing it up, again.

"I'm going to book a cabin on the edge of the park for me and Bella, what are you guys wanting to do for the night? Or shouldn't I ask?"

"Don't worry about Rosie and me, we're gonna rough it." Emmett laughed.

"Same." Was all Jasper said. They bumped fists and I waited, the teasing would begin in earnest again in a second.

"So, Ed, this is your big night huh? You want us to walk you through it or you got a plan?" Emmett had the most evil grin on his face I'd ever seen. I wasn't convinced this would be the big night, Alice had seen us on my bed in my room, not in a cabin beside the forest six hours from home. There was no snow on the ground now either, I'd checked the weather forecast and there was none heading our way either. So it wasn't going to be this weekend.

I wanted to ask Alice if she'd seen anything new but had been too embarrassed.

"No plan. I'll take it as it comes."

"That's what she said!" Both Emmett and Jasper yelled this out the minute I'd finished speaking. Now they were bumping fists and slapping each other on the back.

I just hung my head and cringed. This was going to be a long, long weekend.

Carlisle was late getting home tonight which meant that I was now late getting to Isabella.

Alice was patrolling round Bella's house when I got there and nothing untoward had gone on, so I knew she was safe but I hated wavering from our normal routine and I just wanted to see her for myself now. I would normally have been there by now but I needed to get into the safe and Carlisle was the only one who could open it. I knew the combination, he couldn't hide it from me in his mind, but I would never go into it on my own.

He'd sighed and smiled indulgently at me when he saw the package I had retrieved from the inner sanctum of the huge vault. I didn't say anything and other than his sigh neither did he. He knew what I'd taken out and he also knew why. He wished me good luck and went to find Esme as I ran out the study door.

The covers were all wrapped up in her impossibly beautiful legs when I slipped into the bed beside her. I untangled the blankets and straightened them over us both as I pushed my way along the length of the bed and took her in my arms.

She rolled over and slung an arm across my side and buried her head in the nook between my arm and my chest.

"Hey" she murmured sleepily.

"Hey." I replied into her hair. She was so warm, so soft. Her scent assaulted my senses in every way as I drank her in. she was delicious. She shifted herself up closer to me, pressing her full length into mine, stretching languidly. I could feel the heat of her skin through my clothing and I groaned as quietly as I could. It was a heavenly torture being able to hold her this way every night.

I began humming her lullaby into her hair and waited for her familiar sleepy breathing to take her over.

I lay there all night burning. My thirst was bearable, controllable welcome even. The burn from my desire was tolerable and in a strange way pleasurable in itself.

The tiny blue-ribboned box in my jeans pocket however burned into my skin.

BPOV

After a brief human moment I launched myself into his lap in the rocking chair and kissed him thoroughly. This had become our morning routine of sorts.

He would come to me in the night and lie beside me for as long as his control could hold out, then he'd retreat to the rocking chair and watch me sleep. We never really talked about why he moved to the chair, we both knew it was because I spoke his name and sometimes even propositioned him in my sleep, but neither of us felt the need to dissect it. It was what it was. I wanted him.

When I woke up I would excuse myself and use the bathroom, clean my teeth and brush my hair and then we'd sit in the rocker and say good morning properly. This usually ended with Edward prying me off him and insisting I get myself ready for the school day while he ran off home to shower and change.

I couldn't help myself. I had wanted him before but now that he was acting more his age, and dressing like it too, I had turned into some sort of nymphomaniac!

Ok, that was the wrong word. Since we weren't having sex I couldn't be a nymphomaniac, but I had no idea what word was used to describe someone who couldn't control themselves near their boyfriend and wanted to have sex with him all the time. I'm not sure when I went from being 'I'm not ready for anything more Edward' to being 'give it to me big boy' but I had. If I was honest it was probably around the time that Edward 2.0 arrived, but didn't feel like admitting I was that shallow.

It was obvious that he'd not hunted the night before because the purple shadows under his eyes were wide and dark, as were his eyes. He'd told me that he'd gorged himself on Sunday night when the whole family had hunted together but that it had worn off pretty quickly after our little reunion make out session in my kitchen yesterday morning.

"Will you hunt tonight?" I asked him after untangling my lips from his.

"No, I'm fine actually. You are quite good at recognizing my thirsts though aren't you? What gives it away? Is it just the eyes?" He was grinning and the plural of 'thirst' wasn't lost on me, though I chose to ignore it, for now.

"Sometimes it's your eyes but mostly it's how quickly you put a stop to our kissing. The faster you pull away the more you need to hunt. Today it's your eyes. I thought you were hungry because your eyes are so dark this morning, but you say you aren't. Is something wrong?" I ran my thumb over the shadow under his eye and he turned his head to kiss my palm. I felt his icy tongue sweep across the crease and shivered.

"Not at all. I'm not thirsty but I am hungry." He looked smug.

"Hungry? Would you like me to make you something?" I was teasing him now, though I had no idea what the difference between him being thirsty and hungry could be. He ate nothing so it didn't make any sense.

"Very funny Isabella. I'm not hungry for food." He said it in a deep, gruff voice and I felt the instant jolt of desire pool between my thighs.

He slid his hands to my waist and gripped each hip firmly, twisting me sideways. I slid a leg on either side of him and straddled his waist, letting my legs dangle over the edge of the rocker. I had no doubt he knew of my arousal because his eyes got impossibly darker as he pulled me to him and devoured my mouth with his. His tongue invaded my lips and lapped at my teeth. I sighed heavily and let myself fall onto him. I threaded my hands into his hair and tugged it gently as I felt his palms cup my bottom.

I could feel his erection against my centre and I stifled a moan when he used his palms to pull me onto him more firmly. I could also feel something hard and sharp against the inside of my thigh, what the fuck was that? I took one hand from his hair and patted the front pocket of his jeans. It was a small, sharp square box. I pulled my mouth from his and sat back a little so I could see him better.

"Um, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?" I laughed as I said it but his eyes widened in shock and he put his hands on my hips again and pushed me off his thighs so I now sat further back on his knees.

"You should get ready for school now. I'll make a quick sweep of the woods go home and change and collect the car. I'll be back by the time you're ready to leave, ok?"

"Ok. Did I say something wrong Edward?" I stood up and sat on the end of my bed.

"No Isabella. We just needed to stop, that's all, it's just a coincidence that you made your little joke at exactly the same time I was preparing to say stop. That's all. I'll see you in an hour or so all right my love?" he ran his finger across my cheek and smiled down at me. I returned his smile and nodded.

He was out the window and running before I had time to draw breath. What a strange coincidence. His reaction had been so strange. Whatever he had in his pocket was none of my business. For all I knew it was his keys. He'd over reacted that's for sure. Perhaps what he'd had in his pocket wasn't so innocent? I laughed at that, Edward never did anything that wasn't well thought out, calculated without being calculating. He was also very, very good at distraction. He'd covered his shock by turning the situation to his advantage. Mmm. I'd just been played. Like a fiddle. What a shit.

EPOV

Fuck. Bastard shit bloody fuck mother fucking fuck. Yep, that about summed it up perfectly. Fuck.

I'd forgotten about the box in my pocket and had let my lust rule my brain for the split second it took to spin her around so she could straddle me.

Of course she'd feel it in my pocket, you couldn't miss the bloody thing. Its one thing to have something thick pressing into her…never mind. The bloody box was obvious in my pocket because the edges were sharp.

I'm an idiot. I should've left it at home.

Fuck.

"What the fuck Ed? What happened? What's the danger?" Jasper was racing towards me down the yard as I came up the driveway from Bella's.

"No danger Jaz, sorry." I slowed from my run to a jog and met him mid driveway. "I've fucked up. Fuck." I spat. I ran my hands through my hair and cursed some more under my breath.

"What happened, what did you do? You're trembling, I thought we had wolf trouble." He stood watching me carefully, trying to calm me by absorbing my anger. I could feel a cool calm begin to envelop me and I nodded my thanks at him and offered my fist, which he bumped with his.

"Thanks Jaz. Shit. I so suck at being a teenage boy dude."

"I don't know, I thought you were doing pretty well. You went from freak to chic in forty-eight hours, that's pretty fuckin cool dude." He was laughing now.

"Yeah, that shit was easy. You change your clothes and get a hot car and everyone thinks you're James Dean. It's the other shit that I'm fucking up left right and centre." We were walking back towards the house now. I sat on the bottom step and he sat beside me.

"You mean with Bella? I thought that was going well too. The lust rolling off you two when you're together is pretty intense to say the least. I've always felt your feelings for Bella but I've also felt what she feels for you Edward, you've got nothing to worry about, you know?"

"I know she loves me Jasper. I don't doubt that. And you know I love her, it's not in question. Shit, this is embarrassing and hard to talk about." I really was embarrassed to have to explain what I was feeling with him. I didn't want him to tease me and I didn't want him to tell me to 'get with the times' like the others sometimes did. "If we are going to spend the night together this weekend, regardless of anything physical happening between us, I want her to know that I am committed to her, that I want her forever. I can't ask her to marry me yet, she's too young and this is all too new for her to make that decision yet."

"You know how I said that you and I were more alike than we had thought? Would it help if I told you that I understand why you don't want to go too much further with Bella?"

"What?" I practically screamed. I was so shocked that he knew what I was getting at without me having to say it. If Alice had been telling secrets I'd kill her!

"Calm down dude. Alice didn't tell me squat, I'm a guy, I know what you're going through. Let me explain, right?" He waited for me to nod and then he continued. "I knew I loved Alice the instant I met her in that café. I don't know how, don't really care how. I just did. I wanted her, I wanted to be with her. It made no sense but I didn't care. We fell into the physical side of our relationship right away and it was fantastic. Better than I'd ever hoped actually. It was like she was made specifically for me. She was everything I wanted. But I was like you Ed, I'd been bought up to be a gentleman. I felt the worst kind of shit for not offering her something more permanent before I took what she offered to me. It wasn't just the idea of a nice wedding for Alice to organize that made me marry her, I had to marry her because she was mine in every other way already, except the one that mattered to me the most. In the eyes of god. Pretty stupid for a hundred and something year old vampire to give a shit that our union hadn't been blessed eh?" He laughed quietly to himself, lost in thought for a moment.

"I took her virginity, like you'll take Bella's and you want that to mean something. I get that. I don't know if you've thought about marrying her before but I know enough about you to know that you'll wrestle with the idea of having her before she's yours in every possible way first."

"It mattered to you that your marriage was blessed by god?" I asked.

"Yeah, it did. I knew it didn't matter so much to Alice though, so she did it for me mainly."

A soft flighty voice called out from the house then, "You tell yourself that Jaz, I did it for the pretty dress and the ring." And we all laughed at that.

I ran my hands through my hair one more time before I admitted, "I got my mothers' eternity band out of the safe last night and I have it in my pocket. She felt the box and asked me what it was. I hadn't planned to give it to her yet, maybe in a few days, maybe at the cabin, and I panicked and made an excuse and distracted her from it. I should've left it here but I wanted it with me, it was stupid. Now she knows I'm hiding something and it will all be ruined if I am forced to explain it. I should've just given it to her this morning when she found the box. Now its going to seem trite and an after thought because I've been caught out."

He seemed to think about that for a few minutes before he replied.

"Right, so you got caught with the box in your pocket? No big deal. She might think you're hiding something but all girls recognize a jewelers box when they see one, or in this case feel one, so she probably figures its something for her. It must be important to you too or you wouldn't have panicked and tried to distract her. This is fixable. Take her somewhere nice after school and explain to her why the ring is important to you. Give her the ring and let her decide whether she kicks your ass. You've got nothing to lose, right?"

He made good sense. I didn't have anything to lose. I didn't doubt what Bella and I had and I knew that me being caught with a gift for her wouldn't be something we'd quarrel over and I had no reason to be worried.

"Thanks. I'll do that. I'll tell her, she'll accept the gift, happily ever after right?"

"Right."

BPOV

The box was gone from his pocket when he collected me for school. I knew this because I pulled him tightly to me on the front porch and used my hip to feel for it.

The day had been fairly uneventful really, just another boring Tuesday at Forks High. My classes had ground on, morning tea had been animated and lunch had been amusing. Alice had instigated a twenty questions game designed to make Ben admit that he wanted Angela. It descended into hysterics because nobody would take the questions seriously.

As we headed out of the cafeteria Alice had asked if I wanted to go shopping with her and Rose after school, I was about to say sure – I wanted more books anyway – when Edward butted in saying we already had plans.

While we walked to our respective classes he asked if I would like to go with him to the meadow after school instead? I'd said sure thinking he was just saving me from shopping with Little Miss Visa.

Edward ran to the meadow through a light drizzle of rain, he set me down next to the rock where I'd asked him to visit me at night. We were almost completely under the protective cover of the forest here at the edge of the clearing.

I pulled myself up onto the rock and he took a position between my legs, his hands on my hips. He was impossibly handsome today in his long sleeved tee and low slung jeans. I wanted to take a better look at the cuff on his wrist but could tell from his expression that we were here for a reason, this wasn't a social visit so to speak.

"What gives, Edward?" I was smirking up at him through my lashes, knowing he just needed a nudge.

"Witch" he breathed down my neck as he lowered his lips to my ear.

"No distracting me this time Edward." I pushed him away and he grinned at me.

"I have something for you." He said it very quietly, almost in a whisper, I could tell he was nervous.

"Can I see it?" He nodded and took a small black satin pouch out of the front pocket of his jeans. Aha, the box was gone but the contents remained, sneaky sneaky Mr Cullen. He took my left hand and laid it open, palm up, on my thigh and placed the pouch in it. He left his hand on top of the pouch though.

"Before you see what's in there I want to explain to you what it means to me and why I want you to have it before we go away at the weekend, alright?" He had taken a small step backward, away from me, though I could still feel his legs between mine.

"Ok" I ran my thumb over the satin bag, I could feel the circular item inside it and knew it was a ring. My heartbeat doubled instantly. Edward reached down and rubbed his thumb over my bottom lip, making me release it from within my teeth.

"Don't panic Isabella, I'm not going to ask you to marry me, yet." The very pointed way he'd said 'yet' made my heart race faster, if possible. "I know you know it's a ring now. Please take it out, I'm dying for you to see it. You look and I'll talk, ok?"

I nodded and slid my finger under the flap of the pouch. I tipped the ring into my palm and held my breath. The first thing that struck me was that Edward wasn't speaking. The second thing was the weight of the ring itself. It was tiny but it was heavy, and it was beautiful. I rolled it around a few times in my palm and then I looked up at Edward. He was smiling down at me and his angels face was serene. I looked back down at the ring and slid my index finger into it up to the first knuckle so I could roll it around and see all of it properly.

It was gold and had a wide, flattish band. The band was covered in pitch-black stones that were set in a neat row round around its entirety. It was gorgeous, I loved it.

"This is for me?" I asked quietly.

"Yes. It was my mother's eternity band. If you look inside it you'll see the inscription is still there."

I held the ring up to my eyes and read the faint engraving, 'Forever Yours'. I sucked in a deep breath and could feel the tears spring into my eyes.

"That's so lovely Edward. But I can't take it. It was your mother's, you should keep it with you."

I tried to put the ring in is hand but he shook his head pointedly.

"No Isabella. My father gave that to my mother the day I was born. He wanted her to know that he'd love her forever. When they died I inherited what was theirs. This ring is mine to give to you now. It means the same to me as it did to my father. It isn't usual to give this to you before an engagement ring or a wedding band, but I know we aren't ready for that just yet. Will you wear this now Isabella? I need for you to know that I'm yours forever. "

I looked up into his beautiful face and felt the tears spill down my cheeks as I nodded. He took the ring from me then and held my left hand in his and he slid the ring onto my ring finger, it fit snugly, as if it was designed for me instead of his mother. I looked down at it and choked in a sob. It was beautiful. He was mine, forever.

I threw my arms around his neck and kissed him over and over again.

He drew away from me and I dried my eyes on the back of my sleeve then went back to staring at my hand as the stones shimmered in the little amount of sunlight there was in the meadow. Edward came and sat beside me on the rock and he took my hand into his and ran his thumb over the ring, smiling to himself as he did.

"It suits you, you know?" and I nodded my reply. It did really.

"I love it Edward, thank you." I thought about the fact that I had nothing to give him to show him how I felt. I felt sad about that. "I wish I had something for you."

"You've agreed to wear my ring Bella, you've given me so much today already, I need nothing else." We smiled at each other and then returned to the ring. It seemed neither of us could get enough of looking at it on my hand.

"Will you tell me why you needed to give this to me before we go away this weekend? I'd like to understand that part."

"Aah. Well, that part is complicated. It sounded so easy to explain this morning but now that you're wearing it…"

"Did you practice this with someone Edward?" I giggled.

"Yeah, actually I did. I didn't mean to, but Jaz caught me before I came to collect you this morning and we got talking and he sort of had some good ideas and made a fair bit of sense, and well, it just seemed a lot easier then without you there to distract me."

"I'm distracting you? That's funny Edward. It's usually you distracting me." I giggled again, he was quite absurd sometimes.

"I must confess something so that what I want to say makes sense. The vision that Alice showed me, the one you guessed during our game the other night, there were more details, um, available to me than just what I let you guess."

"Like what?" I was interested now, I sat straight up and held my breath.

"Not too much more, I didn't see anything really. After Alice showed me the vision I asked her for a time frame. I'm not proud of that, I asked before I really had time to rethink what I was asking, I meant no disrespect to you Isabella. Alice told me that within the month, that there was snow on the ground when you'd be, well, when we'd be like that in my room."

"Ok. There's nothing wrong with that Edward. You didn't need to confess that to me. You could've just told me that."

"I know that now. It might seem confusing to you, but let me finish, you'll see where I'm headed soon enough." I nodded and he continued. "You agreed yesterday that I should reserve only one room at the resort for this weekend. I didn't want to assume what you wanted that to mean, but it did make me think about I wanted for us before we took that step."

"We don't have to plan anything Edward, I don't care if anything happens. I just want to be with you, if that means we sleep side by side like we do now and nothing happens for a year or more that's ok too. If it means we do something more that's ok too. I'm ready when you are, so when you're ready you'll let me know, I know that."

"That's not quite where I was heading. Let me try again. I have wanted to give this ring to you for a decade. I've wanted you to know how I feel about you before we go away this weekend, before what happens happens, or doesn't happen whatever the case may be. The two things are connected but I don't want you to think I expect anything from you this weekend because I gave this to you." He rolled the ring round and round my finger, his cool fingertips tickling the underside of my hand as they slid over my skin.

All at once it made sense. The old Edward was here with me today. The one that was born in 1901, the one who grew up to be a gentleman.

"Are you declaring yourself Edward? That's what it would've been called, isn't it? Declaring yourself to me?"

EPOV

"Have you been studying out of school Isabella?" I couldn't help the smug grin that came to my mouth then, it was obvious that she'd done some research into the social proclivities of the era in which I was raised. It was a most wonderful gift to me. That she'd bother meant so much to me. This beautiful girl had spent time learning about my time.

"You might have changed your car and stopped shaving but you are still the same Edward underneath, aren't you?" She giggled.

"You noticed huh?"

"Yeah, me and all the other girls in the school." She harrumphed and I crushed her mouth with mine.

"I suppose I am declaring myself, yes. I'm yours."

"I'm yours too Edward."

I had her home before Charlie arrived from his shift, but only just. I couldn't bear to let her go today. She was wearing a ring that I'd given her!