The next day, Olivia dropped Joshua off at Mrs. Andre's house and drove to his school, trying to calm herself down so she wouldn't start screaming. She was fuming. She wasn't sure if it was homophobia or pure stupidity or simply that Joshua hadn't said anything about what had actually transpired, but their reaction was still inappropriate. She went in to the office and asked to see Ms. Ellis.
"Ms. Ellis is with another parent right now," the secretary told her.
"When will she be done?"
"I don't know," replied the secretary.
Olivia plopped herself down on a chair. "I'll wait."
The secretary raised an eyebrow. "Suit yourself."
She called the precinct and told Captain Cragen that she was going to be late coming in to work and she might not be in at all. He told her it was okay and to deal with whatever was going on and Elliot would be fine without her.
Finally, Ms. Ellis came out of her office. She gave Olivia a phony smile. "Ms. Benson, come in," she invited.
Taking a deep breath to calm herself, Olivia followed the principal into her office and sat down, crossing one leg over the other. She cleared her throat. "I wanted to talk to you about the . . . incident yesterday. I talked to my son about it and he explained to me what happened. The other boy was teasing him about him having parents who are homosexual. My partner was killed a few weeks ago, and this other boy told Joshua that she deserved to die and she was going to hell and he called her a 'dyke.' Even though I've communicated to him that hitting is never okay, no matter what the circumstances, I think that suspending him for three days is a bit . . . excessive."
"Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I'll be sure to discuss that with Matteo's parents; however that still doesn't give Joshua to right to attack him. He could have told a teacher instead of using violence," said Ms. Ellis in a clipped tone.
Olivia raised an eyebrow. "He did. He told Ms. Dwyer and she told him to stop tattling. I think maybe I need to have a discussion with her, too."
"I'll talk to her," said the principal quickly. "We'll make sure this doesn't happen again. You've talked to your son about positive conflict resolution?"
Olivia nodded. "He understands that what he did was wrong and he's not going to do it again. I told him that if a kid is teasing him, he needs to tell a teacher, and he said he would. My son's a good kid. He's never been in any real trouble before."
Ms. Ellis nodded. "Maybe a three day suspension is a bit harsh. He can come back tomorrow if he's ready to write Matteo an apology letter."
Olivia narrowed her eyes. "I expect Joshua will be receiving one from Matteo as well, right?"
Ms. Ellis nodded. "That's right."
Olivia tried not to look too pleased with herself as she shook the principal's hand, thanked her, and left.
She decided not to go back to work. She cleared it with Captain Cragen, then drove back to her apartment building.
She picked Joshua up from Mrs. Andre's and brought him back to her apartment. "You're home early," commented the little boy in a dry tone that mimicked hers, and she smiled to herself when she realized he'd been copying her speech patterns. It was kind of cute, actually.
"I didn't go to work, actually," she told him.
He looked confused. "Then where'd you go?"
She sat down on the couch and Joshua sat down beside her. "To your school. I talked to Ms. Ellis and I told her what happened. Both of you are going to have to write apology letters to each other, but you can go back to school tomorrow."
Joshua hesitated, then nodded. "Okay."
"Do you want to do that now, or do you want to have lunch and then write it?"
He shrugged. "Let's get it over with."
Olivia smiled. "Good boy." She settled him down at the kitchen table, handed him a pencil and a piece of paper, and added, "Do you know what you want to say?"
"I guess. Just say I'm sorry for hitting him and I won't do it again."
"Okay," agreed Olivia, tousling Joshua's hair. "I'm very proud of you, honey."
He sighed with the air of someone who bears the weight of the world on his shoulders, a weight that no eight-year-old should ever have. "I miss Alex," he said quietly.
"Me, too," said Olivia, matching his soft tone.
He met her eyes, sadness shining in his baby blues. "Can I tell you a secret?"
"You can tell me anything, Josh."
He lowered his eyes again and murmured, "Sometimes I get mad at her. For leaving." He chanced a glance at Olivia again, then added quickly, "I know I shouldn't. I know it wasn't her fault. But I can't help it sometimes."
Oh, Joshua. How could Olivia tell him that she sometimes felt the same way without agreeing with him? "I feel that way too, sometimes," she admitted. "But we have to remember that it wasn't her fault. She only left because she loves us and she wants to keep us safe. And we love her."
"I love her," echoed Joshua, snuggling closer to Olivia. "When is she coming back?"
Olivia kissed the crown of his head. "I don't know, honey."
He looked up at her, his eyes wide with apprehension. "What if she doesn't?"
Olivia sighed. "She will." But the words sounded hollow, even to her.
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