Sunday morning, Stephen arrived very early in snuck into bed with his sleeping wife. When he put his arm around her, it scared her and she jumped. "Oh, Ste, you scared me!"
"Now lass, who else would be sneaking in here and cuddling with yeh?" Stephen asked with a chuckle.
Caylin rolled over to face him and smiled. "No one if they know what's good for them."
"That's right!" He cupped her cheek and softly kissed her. "Ah really missed yeh, me love. Ah have been so worried about yeh."
"I missed you too, baby. I am glad you are home. I needed you."
"Oh, love, Ah'm so sorry…"
"It's okay. You are here now. That's what matters." She lay her head on his shoulder and curled up next to him. She dozed off for almost an hour before she heard Aidan starting to cry. She went to get up "no, love, yeh stay there. Ah will get the lad."
Stephen stepped across the hall and picked up his crying son. "Oh, me boy, why are yeh crying? Yeh need changing, do yeh?" He laid the baby on the changing table and quickly changed his diaper, before picking him up and bouncing him gently. "Ah will take yeh to yer Mummy, but yeh got to not cry." He soothed Aidan until he was quiet and took him to Caylin. "Love, do yeh want me to make him a bottle or are yeh still…"
"Yes, I am still breastfeeding while I can. I started pumping too, before they start me on that medicine. Come here, love." She took the baby out of Stephen's arms and sat back against the pillows. Once the baby had latched on, she started talking to her husband. "Ste, Mum and Dad are coming down this afternoon. They are supposed to be here sometime after mass."
"What fer?"
"Well, Mum insisted on being here for my biopsy, even though I told her she didn't have to."
"How upset was she when yeh told her?"
"Very. She is so terrified of me getting sick again. I know how hard it was for her watching me suffer through all the procedures and chemo and not being able to help me. I didn't understand why she acted more grieved over my sickness than even I did until I became a mother myself. As trying as it was for me, I know it was painful for her and my dad as well. And I know I wasn't the best sick person. I look back on the things I said to them, and my nurses and cringe."
"Yer parents know yeh didn't mean those things and yeh weren't yerself, love."
"I know, but I even got mad that she was crying again and told her I didn't understand why she was so upset; she wasn't the one dying. I am ashamed of how I acted."
"Yeh shouldn't be. Yeh were very sick and scared. Ah know yer folks don't hold that against yeh, love."
"You know, you were the only person I never yelled at or kicked out of my room. You were the only one who could ever make me feel better. The only one I was always happy to see. You truly were my ray of sunshine and hope: my angel. When we came here, I was even more miserable and hateful because I didn't have you." She had to fight back her tears; something she was doing a lot lately.
"Caylie, yeh have me now. Ah will never leave yer side as long as yeh need me. Not ever again."
"I know. And I know the doctor believes I will be fine. I was fairly confident when I left his office, but I don't know why, after I talked to Mum and Dad, I just became so insecure. It brought back so many bad memories and I can't seem to shake them."
"Love, they are just memories. That isn't going to happen again. Yeh are going to be fine. Ah do believe that. We are going to have a long life together, just like we said. By the way, Drew sends his love. Told me to tell yeh he would say a rosary fer yeh."
"He is such a sweetheart. I am glad he is your best friend."
"Me too. He said he would come by just as soon as he got back to town."
"That will be good. Aidan likes him. And of course the girls do" she said with a chuckle, glad the subject was changed.
"As long as they don't try and kiss him, they can think he's handsome all they want, yeah?"
"I agree. So Paul was okay with you taking time off?"
"Yeah, he was fine with it. He gives yeh his best, hopes fer a speedy recovery."
"You make sure you thank him for me the next time you speak with him."
"Ah will."
The twins had gotten up and went downstairs and saw that their father was home. They went back up and were standing outside their parents' door, trying to see if they were awake or still sleeping. They heard voices so they softly knocked on the door.
"Mama, Daddy?" Alli asked.
"Come on in, girls" Caylin answered.
"Yeh lasses are up early." Stephen stood up and kissed them both on the cheek.
"We just woke up, Daddy. We were going to make breakfast for everybody before Mass. We are still going to church this morning, aren't we Mama?" Andi replied.
"Of course we are, baby. Your dad and I will be down as soon as Aidan is done."
"Okay. Do y'all want pancakes? I know they are your favorite, Mama" Andi asked.
"That would be great, Andi."
"Okay, we'll holler at you when it's ready. Come on Al." The girls left their parents' room and went down to the kitchen to start breakfast.
Caylin smiled "my sweet girls. They have hardly let me do anything around here. They have been cooking and cleaning, and trying to take care of their brother too. They don't want me exerting myself or something. They don't want me upset so anything I say, it is like law. It is sweet but I don't want them so worried about me."
"Well, of course they're going to worry about ya, love. Yer their mum."
"I know, and they are scared they are going to lose me. Everyone is so scared for me that I almost wish no one knew about it."
"Caylie!"
"I'm serious, Stephen. Anyway, doesn't matter. I think Aidan is done. Let's go get some breakfast."
"Lass…"
"Ste, I'm fine, just a lot on my mind. And I don't really want to talk about it anymore, okay?"
"Okay. Whatever you want, me love."
"Right now, I want you to take your son so I can go to the loo and I will meet you downstairs." She handed the baby to his father and got out of bed. She went into the bathroom and shut the door, leaning against the sink. "God help me. I don't know what I am going to do with my family. Give me strength."
Stephen went downstairs with the baby and put him in his bouncer. He joined the girls in the kitchen to see how it was going. A few minutes later when Caylin came down, they were setting the table. "Mama, you want some coffee?"
"Oh, no thank you. A glass of milk sounds good."
"Be right back." Andi went to get the milk while everyone else sat down. When she brought it back, they said grace and started eating. After breakfast, everyone went to get ready for church, and Caylin put Aidan in his Sunday best. He had blue and black plaid pants with a shirt that had a built in vest. Stephen chuckled that he looked like him.
"He does! He has to be a handsome boy like his Daddy!"
Caylin put him in the carrier and strapped him in. She went to help Stephen with his tie. "You know, you clean up really well, Ste. And you smell incredible."
He smiled brightly, his dimples showing and his cheeks flushing. "Cheers. Yeh know yeh do too. Yer so gorgeous. Ah feel blessed to stand beside yeh."
She fixed his collar and smiled "we look good together, baby." She stroked his cheeks and brought his face close to her. "Kiss me."
He complied, pressing his full lips to hers. His hands roamed down her back and gripped her ass. She gasped and jumped. "Stephen Farrelly!"
"Sorry lass, Ah'm just a man. How much longer before we can start making love again did the doc say?"
"I think we have about three more weeks to go, but we may have to veer away from that slightly. I miss feeling you."
"Oi, yeh best stop talking that way or we will miss Mass" he told her with a chuckle.
"Hey, I wasn't the one who grabbed your ass now was I?"
He nodded "okay, yeh got me there. Are we ready?"
"Yell and see if the twins are ready. If so we can go."
He stuck his head out and called out "yeh lasses ready?"
"Yes Daddy" he heard them yell back. He picked up the carrier and Caylin followed him downstairs, the girls shortly joining them.
After church, they couldn't believe the people that came up to them and bragged on the baby. Everyone was in agreement that he looked like Caylin. And was more and more every day. She asked to speak to the priest alone and he agreed. He smiled down at the baby "he is you made over, Caylin. Okay, follow me and we will talk. Do you need to confess?"
"No, I just need to talk" she told him. When they were in his office, she told him everything that the doctor had said, and everything that happened in the past.
"I am sorry to hear that, but it sounds like they caught it early, which is good news. Tomorrow is never guaranteed, but trust in the Lord that he will take care of you. I will pray for you and your family, and if you need anything, don't hesitate to call."
"Thank you. I just needed someone to listen."
"That is understandable. Your family is just concerned that's all."
"I know, but I feel like not only am I worrying about my health, I have the added stress of worrying about all of them too."
"Concentrate on getting better. You know God will never give you more than you can handle. You are obviously a strong woman and can handle this. Remember Psalms 18. The Lord is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies. The sorrows of death compassed me, and the floods of ungodly men made me afraid. The sorrows of hell compassed me about: the snares of death prevented me. In my distress I called upon the Lord, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears. As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the Lord is tried: he is a buckler to all those that trust in him. For who is God save the Lord? Or who is a rock save our God? Do not despair Caylin. You were brought through the fire once; have faith that you will be delivered again."
"Thank you so much, Father. Well, I had better go. Everyone is waiting for me."
She stood up and he stood up and took her hands. "Pray with me before you leave." They knelt down in the floor and prayed for angels and saints to entreat on her behalf. After talking with him, she felt better, like a weight was lifted from her. His words really struck a chord with her and she knew she would survive this. She hugged him, before walking out and meeting her family. They were sitting on the back pew, patiently waiting for her to return. Stephen rose to hug her and was glad to see the peaceful look now on his wife's face.
"Everything alright, love?"
"Everything is great. Let's go home."
When they made it back to the house, James and Ana were waiting for them. Ana hugged her daughter tightly as soon as she saw her. "I am fine, really Mum. But I am glad to see you." She reached up and hugged her father too. The girls hugged their grandparents and they all filed in the house.
They had a lazy afternoon following lunch and Ana held the baby while James was out back with the twins and their horses. They had an early dinner since Caylin couldn't have anything after midnight, and they went to bed early since she had to be at the hospital at 6 am. Ana insisted on going with her and Stephen, so James said he would take the twins to school.
Caylin woke up before her alarm and went ahead and took care of the baby before getting in the shower. She slipped in each of her daughters' rooms and kissed them goodbye before they took off towards the hospital.
While she checked in, she left the baby with Stephen and her mother. They took her back and started her IV, reviewing the procedure with her and looking over her chart to make sure her consents were signed. "Mrs. Farrelly, you will be sedated during the procedure but not completely under. What I mean is, you will be under what we call conscious sedation, where you can follow commands but you won't remember any of it. He will also use a local anesthetic at the puncture site."
"I have had this before. I understand."
"You have?" the nurse asked her.
"Yeah, when I was 15."
"Oh, okay. Which side, do you remember?"
"The left, and of course I remember. I was in a lot of pain afterwards."
"Sorry, that was a stupid thing to ask."
"It's okay. It's a figure of speech anyway" Caylin sighed.
"This one may be a little different. We use a CT machine to guide so there is less chance of missing and having to do it again. So you know no showers for 24 hours and to take it easy afterwards?"
"I know."
"Okay. I am going to start some IV fluids and we will be ready to send you back soon."
Caylin sat on the gurney, nervously waiting for them to come get her. She was dreading the pain, but wanted to get it over with. About 20 minutes later, another nurse came and got her and gave her some medicine through her IV, said to relax her. She remembered them moving her to another table, but soon she was out. The next thing she knew, she was waking up in the recovery room with a stabbing pain in her back. "How do you feel Mrs. Farrelly?"
"Are you kidding me? I just had a hole bored in my hip. How do you think I feel?" Caylin snapped.
"Okay, let me get you some pain medicine." The young nurse quickly came back with a syringe and gave her some morphine. They let Stephen come back to see her because she was crying. He tried to soothe her by smoothing her hair and speaking softly to her. After an hour, they decided she could go and gave him her discharge papers and prescription.
"When she starts to wake up, I would probably go ahead and have her take a pain pill before it gets too bad. No aspirin, naproxen or ibuprofen because of the risk of bleeding. If the pain or bruising gets worse, or it starts bleeding a lot or she develops a fever, call her doctor."
"Okay, thank you." They wheeled a still very drowsy Caylin out to the car and helped her in. Stephen drove them home and carried her up to bed before leaving to get her prescription filled. "Ah will be back soon. She is still sleeping. There is breast milk in the fridge if yeh have to feed the baby."
"Alright, lad. We'll be fine." She made a bottle and told James she was going upstairs to sit in the nursery with the baby. She didn't want to wake Caylin, but she wanted to be close if she needed her. She silently prayed her rosary and held her grandson.
Before Stephen got back, she heard Caylin starting to moan. She put Aidan in his crib and went across the hall to check on her. Caylin was starting to cry again and it broke her mother's heart. She climbed in bed with her daughter and put her arm around her. She stroked her cheek and her hair, and quietly spoke to her. "Mummy?" Caylin cried.
"Aye, lass, Ah'm right here. Yer alright."
"Mum, it hurts so bad" she said as she curled into a ball.
Ana rubbed her back "Ah know, love. Ste will be back soon with yer medicine. Oh, a leanbh luachmhar Ah would take yer pain away if Ah could."
Thankfully, Stephen soon returned and took his wife a bottle of water and her medicine to take. It killed him to see his wife hurting and not being able to fix it. Once she had gone back to sleep, Ana whispered "let's go downstairs and let her rest for a while."
"Okay." He reluctantly left her alone and took Aidan back down with them so he didn't wake her. Caylin slept most of the day, with them giving her pain medicine every time she awoke. The twins crept in to see their mother just to make sure she was okay, but left her alone to rest as well.
James told Stephen, "We are looking at houses tomorrow. I know we have been picky about where we wanted to live and what kind of house we wanted, but now all that don't matter. We are picking one out for sure tomorrow. Ana and I can't stand being away from all of you and with Caylin being sick, we want to be here."
"I know that will make Caylin and the twins happy. I am glad you are going to go ahead and move down here."
"I have never been this far away from my daughter, all her life. I know I have made so mistakes but I love that girl and would do anything for her. The thought of losing her is incomprehensible. I won't let my feelings overshadow hers. I know she felt like we didn't think enough about how she felt because we were worried about how we were dealing with it. That won't happen again. Anything we have to do, we will. She comes first."
A/N A leanbh luachmhar – my precious child