August fifteenth was just like any day to Kakuzu ever since he had come to New York. The only difference was that Hidan would constantly bug him. However, this year seemed to be the exception. In class he made sure to take his detailed notes as quickly as he could, daydreaming about what Hidan would do for his birthday. After school, he headed to one of his jobs at a cafe. One thing he loved about living in a city like New York was that he did not need to worry about gas.
Walking was so much easier for him and kept him fit. After work he headed for his dorm, his school bag held protectively to his chest. His dorm-mate greeted him from the television where he was playing a video game. Kakuzu set down his bag and pulled out his laptop, went to the desk, and shoved the other, beat up laptop to the side. He had a report to type up.
"Some guys called. Wished you a happy birthday." His roommate informed him, pausing his game.
"Hidan?" Kakuzu inquired.
"No, sounded more like Zabuza, Kisame, and their boyfriends." He replied, stretching.
"That's odd. They never call me..." Kakuzu blinked. "But no Hidan yet?" He heard the phone ring and jumped to his feet. "Hello, Hidan?"
"Er, no, Sasori." The caller replied awkwardly. "Happy birthday man. Hidan isn't out of school yet so..."
"Oh. Right." Kakuzu felt the urge to slap himself. "What did you call for?"
"To wish you a happy birthday. It's been awhile." Sasori replied with a drawl.
"That's all? I'm busy, Sasori." Kakuzu sighed.
"Sounds like a load of bull." Sasori scoffed. "Sounded to me like you were waiting around to hear from Hidan."
"I-I am not!" Kakuzu stuttered, looking at his laptop, his report not even started. "I was working on an important report I have to turn in tomorrow."
"But you don't have class tomorrow..."
"Shut up, Ares." Kakuzu glared at his roommate.
"Okay... well, I'm gonna let you go now. Got to pick Dei up from school."
"Wait, what about Hidan? Who's picking him up?"
"Kabuto. Who else?" Sasori scoffed, hanging up.
Kakuzu blinked, setting down the phone very calmly. Ares stiffened, slowly stepping back into the bathroom, closed the door, and locked it. A crash was heard and an angered shout followed.
"Fucking whore! What the hell's so great about Kabuto!" Another crash and Ares winced then sighed when the fit of anger stopped. "Ares, can I borrow your cell phone?"
"Why?" He replied.
"Um... I broke mine... and my laptop."
"Idiot."
–
"So where are we going, bitch?" Hidan inquired. "I haven't seen you in awhile."
"I know. I apologize for that. Orochimaru wanted me to come visit him for a little bit." Kabuto smiled slightly, picking Hidan up from school. "But I'm back now, so no worries. We were thinking of letting you come down to Missouri for winter break too."
"Oh, I don't know. I might have plans, man." Hidan frowned. "I don't know if Aoi and Dei are staying home for the holidays or what..."
"Why wouldn't they?" Kabuto stopped his car outside Hidan's house.
"I don't know." Hidan sighed, unbuckling. "Thanks for the ride."
"Call if you need anything!" Kabuto shouted before driving off.
Hidan waved until the beat up car vanished from his site then he darted inside. The house was empty; Aoi was at work and Deidara was no doubt on another date with Sasori. Shithead was the only other living thing in the house. He whined loudly and insistently, leading his master to his food bowl. Hidan sighed and filled the cat's bowl before heading to his bed. He glanced at his cell phone and the calendar, sitting up.
"Kakuzu..." He blinked, reaching for the phone.
He brought his hand back to his chest with a sigh. He grabbed his pillow and flopped back on the bed, holding the pillow tightly over his face. He could not call Kakuzu. He was tired of getting yelled at for interrupting Kakuzu's study. After a good half hour or so he sat back up, removing the pillow. He saw his phone and felt his eye twitch. In a flash the phone was in his hand, opened.
"C'mon, Kakuzu, pick up." He sighed, speed-dialing his boyfriend. "... Nothing..." Hidan slouched, groaning. "I'm an idiot for getting my hopes up. The fucker's so un-fucking-reliable!" He turned of his phone, tossing it in his bedside table's drawer. "Bastard..."
–
"I can't believe you don't even know your boyfriend's phone number by heart." Ares scoffed, scolding Kakuzu.
"Shut up." He groaned. "I never had time to memorize it!"
"That's pathetic man." Ares cackled. "You're a real shitty boyfriend."
"You're no better." Kakuzu glared.
"Well, what are you going to do about your report?" Ares smirked.
"I guess I'll just steal your laptop." Kakuzu sighed. "Though it's a shame there's no web cam on that piece of shit."
"Oi, if I find anything white or sticky on my baby, I'll kill you."
"You're sick."
–
"Let's see... Itachi told me to just browse the gay section... but I can't find it, hm." Deidara frowned, fingering the various book bindings.
"Find what?" A familiar voice from behind made Deidara jump, clutching his chest.
"Holy shit, Kabuto. What are you doing here, hm?" Deidara hissed.
"Looking for a book." Kabuto smiled innocently, picking up a book on safe sex.
"Uh..." Deidara blushed, eying the book. "Is that book any good, hm?"
"I think so..." Kabuto blinked, flipping the book over to read the back. "It's a book for beginners though Orochimaru claims he already knows what to do. I decided to get a book anyways." He smiled, a little creepily in Deidara's opinion, and looked along the shelves. "Hidan hasn't heard from Kakuzu in awhile. How are you and Sasori?"
"We're fine, thank you very much, hm." Deidara huffed, turning back to the shelves.
"Do you have plans next month?" Kabuto inquired.
"December? None that I know of... hm?" Deidara frowned, glancing at the other curiously.
"I see..." Kabuto smiled, grabbing another book before leaving.
"Weirdo, un." Deidara blinked, grabbing a book on marriage. "Wonder if this is any good, hm."
–
"Happy birthday, Sasori-danna." Deidara greeted the redhead at his door. "How was work, hm?"
"I made a new puppet since my old one sold for about fifteen bucks." Sasori replied, kissing the younger male's cheek on his way in. "Where's Hidan?"
"In the kitchen making a cake. Has Kakuzu called you, hm?" Sasori stopped taking off his coat in time to catch Deidara's worried look.
"Not since his birthday. I'm actually starting to worry." He hung up his coat and scarf, kicking off his boots.
"Maybe Kisame's heard something, hm?" Deidara offered hopelessly, pulling Sasori next to him on the loveseat.
"He's out at sea with Zabuza now." Sasori replied. "Itachi called me saying they wouldn't be back until sometime next month."
"Hey asshole, happy birthday." Hidan entered, casually greeting their house guest. "Dei, call me when the thingy dings." He added, going outside.
"Where's he going?" Sasori inquired.
"Oh, Shithead ran away a few months ago, un." Deidara said sadly. "Hidan won't give up his search though, hm."
"Any ideas why? I thought he was like Hidan's shadow."
"I think he got spooked by a storm. That or he's looking for a mate, hm." Deidara shrugged, leaning on Sasori.
"Mm, a horny kitty." Sasori smirked, kissing Deidara's neck. "I'm feeling rather horny myself." He whispered.
"Danna." Deidara blushed, playfully hitting his shoulder. "Don't make me give kitty a cold bath, hm."
"Kitty will be sure to pull you in with him." Sasori responded, straddling Deidara's lap.
"You're heavy, danna." Deidara flushed, moving his neck to let Sasori play.
"I am not, your knees are just weak." Sasori replied, planting a kiss over his lips.
"Jerk, hm." Deidara smiled, returning the kiss.
The couple continued to tease and caress until there was a ding. Rather than let Deidara up to check the cake, Sasori switched their positions. His hands rested on Deidara's strong hips, keeping him in place. Deidara squirmed and protested, wanting to check the cake. Sasori was stubborn though, sliding his hands up under his shirt to rub his back. Deidara's face turned bright red and his body developed a mind of its own, moving closer to the puppeteer.
"My puppet's back, it seems, no strings attached." Sasori chuckled. "My beautiful, strong puppet." He whispered in Deidara's ear.
"D-Danna... the cake... un." Deidara shuddered, placing his hands on Sasori's shoulders.
"The cake can wait." He replied, slipping Deidara's shirt up to expose his back and abdomen. "You're quite smooth..."
"Sasori!" Deidara whined. "Hidan-"
"Hidan's looking for his pussy." Sasori rolled his eyes, experimentally licking Deidara, earning a giggle. "Did that tickle?" The redhead practically purred, now running his hands up the blond's thighs. "Your skinny jeans make this easier."
"H-How so, un?" Deidara was no longer resisting.
"I can make out every curve." He emphasized the last word, grabbing Deidara's crotch.
A loud gasp was heard, overshadowing Deidara's low moan. The couple looked up from their heated cuddling session to see Hidan in the doorway. His violet eyes were wide, trained directly on them. Deidara's embarrassment became more pronounced and he jumped off the redhead's lap. Sasori cursed quietly, placing a pillow from the loveseat on his lap to hide the slight tent.
"Cannot un-see!" Hidan cried, running to the kitchen. "AH! The cake's on fire!"
"That's not the only thing on fire." Sasori muttered with a squirm and a glance to his lap.
–
"Ares, have my packages arrived yet?" Kakuzu grumbled, pacing his dorm.
"No." His friend replied from the bathroom.
"I'm gonna go walk Dumbass. Keep an ear out for them." Kakuzu sighed, calling to his dog.
After clipping the leash to the dog's collar, Kakuzu left the dorm for the icy outdoors. Dumbass trotted behind Kakuzu, his fur fluffed up against the cold wind. Kakuzu was also bundled up for the winter weather, frowning as his dog slowed to mark a hydrant. They continued on, stopping occasionally to let the dog sniff around or do its thing. It soon got too cold for Kakuzu to stay out and he looked at his shivering dog.
He sighed, scooping the dog up in his arms. Dumbass squirmed for a bit, lapping eagerly at Kakuzu's face. The man groaned at that, putting the dog back down. In a flash the dog was off. Kakuzu cursed and called him back. Dumbass stopped on the adjacent sidewalk then came racing back. A car swerved nearby, hitting a patch of ice.
"Hidan!"
–
"Hidan!"
"What, Dei?" Hidan sighed, sitting up in his bed, quickly wiping away his tears. "I'm busy."
"I was just letting you know I'm leaving, hm. I'll be back next year." Deidara giggled at his idea of a joke, ducking back out of his brother's room.
"Asshole..." Hidan sighed, looking at his pocket knife.
"Hidan, honey!" Aoi's voice sounded from the kitchen. "Come quick!"
Hidan jumped to his feet, wincing when the blade sliced his finger. He cursed, putting the finger in his mouth until he reached the bottom of the steps. Aoi was smiling, looking outside. Hidan went to her side, following her gaze out the window. He quickly brightened, rushing outside. Kabuto was in the driveway. However Kabuto was not what Hidan was interested in.
"Shithead! Where'd you find him?" He smiled, plucking the brown Persian out of his friend's arms.
"The shit head snuck into my car and was hanging around my place." Kabuto laughed. "I finally managed to catch the little bugger."
"Thank you, Kabuto-chan!" Hidan beamed, embracing the other silver hair, careful not to let Shithead go.
"I know you probably want a proper reunion..." Kabuto smiled, "But how would you like to come down to Missouri with me for Christmas?"
"Oh... I don't know. Mom's upset 'cause the bitch bailed with his asshole." Hidan glanced back at the house. "But I guess I'll ask."
"Cool."
–
It was just a few days before Christmas that Deidara had left to celebrate the holidays with Sasori's family. Now he was curled up comfortably with Sasori, watching the fire burn through the wood in the fireplace. Temari and her brothers were also in the living room, quietly chatting with each other. Kankuro was teasing his older sister about her young 'friend' whom landed himself in one of her advanced classes. Gaara stopped trying to converse with them when the conversation got a bit uncomfortable and instead observed his cousin.
Sasori had not revealed his sexuality or boyfriend to his grandmother Chiyo for fear of the old woman's reaction. However his cousins were well aware of what he and Deidara did when she was not around. This Christmas would be celebrated without Chiyo as she was in the hospital. Deidara had agreed to spend the holidays with Sasori in an attempt to distract him from the fact that she might not survive the year. The blond looked away from the fire, pulling Sasori's gaze down to meet his own.
"Danna, I need to call my mother, hm." He whispered.
Sasori nodded, pulling off the blanket and letting Deidara out of his grasp. Once the blond was out of the room, Gaara clambered off the couch, joining his cousin on the floor. Sasori quirked a curious brow from his position on the floor. After a little staring match, the older redhead sat up.
"Sasori, have you and Deidara had sex yet?" The room quickly fell quiet.
"Why do you ask?" Sasori finally managed to respond.
"Well, I've only heard people say how a man and a woman have sex..." Gaara murmured.
"Ah... well..." Sasori glanced at Gaara's siblings. "Well... I'll tell you about it tonight, okay?"
"Tell him about what, hm?" Deidara had returned with a cup of hot chocolate.
"Nothing, brat." His boyfriend replied, getting back into a cuddly position. "What did your mom say?"
"Something about being safe and that Hidan's having fun down in Missouri, hm." Deidara said, handing him the mug.
"I'm going to try and call Kakuzu again." Sasori sighed. "Shithead came home yesterday, right?" He pulled his cell phone from his pocket, dialing Kakuzu's number. "The jerk hasn't called any of us in ages."
"I'm not a jerk." Kakuzu answered, his voice sounding odd.
"Kakuzu, where the hell happened man? We all lost contact with you for like months. Deidara and Itachi were convinced you were just having an affair." Sasori joked.
"Now isn't a time for jokes." Kakuzu choked. "Dumbass got hit by a car."
"What?" Sasori's eyes widened, "Is he okay man?"
"What happened, danna?" Deidara inquired, setting the cocoa on the hard tile in front of the fireplace.
"Dumbass got hit by a car." Sasori whispered.
"They say he's lucky but I'm still worried. He sleeps most of the time and hardly eats." Kakuzu practically whimpered.
"Why don't you go ahead and call Hidan?" Sasori suggested.
"I don't know his number..."
"Seriously? That's pathetic..."
–
"Kabuto, Hidan! Welcome to my humble abode." Orochimaru greeted the two silver haired males.
"Hey, we live here too." A blonde woman with a rather large bust hollered from behind him.
"Did you bring a pretty lady, Oro?" A male with white hair questioned.
"Nope, just some male friends." Orochimaru said smoothly, leading the two inside.
Orochimaru lived in a two bedroom town home with his two college friends, Tsunade and Jiraiya. The three had met when Orochimaru and Kabuto had been kicked out of the Shinobi school district. He had gone to live in Missouri and attend school with Jiraiya and Tsunade. Kabuto had not been with him, choosing to stay in Illinois with some foster parents. Orochimaru had not said much to Kabuto about the long time the two spent apart.
"This is the room I share with Jiraiya." He smiled, opening a door on the second floor.
"Holy shit..."
Hidan felt his eye twitch as he saw what was inside the room. There was a blowup doll, for one, in the corner of the room. In that corner were posters of nude and scantily dressed women taped on the wall. On the floor were quite a few magazines and he was sure there were some condoms mixed with trash. Kabuto ignored all this though and went to the bunk bed on one side of the room, plopping down on the bottom bed.
Orochimaru followed then pulled on rubber gloves from the bedside table. He went to the corner and started to tidy it up. When he finished stacking and deflating he climbed the bunk ladder. He threw down some pornographic movies and other objects that made Hidan look away. Kabuto laughed, giving him the 'all clear' after a few minutes.
"What the fuck?" Hidan twitched.
"Jiraiya's a major pervert." Orochimaru laughed. "Thankfully he rarely brings his bitches home when I'm sleeping in here."
"Where will we be sleeping?" Kabuto asked.
"You with me, Hidan and Jiraiya on top bunk." Orochimaru grinned. "Unless someone wants to sleep with Tsunade."
"Hey, who's phone is ringing?"
"Mine. Hello?" Hidan answered and his eyes went wide at the voice on the other line. "Kuzu-chan!"
"Dumbass got hit by a car." Hidan's jaw dropped and his grip loosened.
"W-What?" He stuttered, struggling to catch his breath. "Is he okay?"
"Y-Yeah." Kakuzu replied. "How's Shithead..?"
"He gave a bit of a scare, disappeared for a few months. But it's all good. Kabuto found him at his house and brought the little shit back." Hidan started to pace the room, a roar of emotions flooding him. "What happened to your phone? And you haven't been online. I was fucking worried about you."
"I just threw a little tantrum, Hidan. Broke both my phone and laptop. But I got them fixed. Where are you now?" Kakuzu replied with a tired sigh.
"I'm down in Missouri for the holidays. Why do you care?" Hidan pouted.
"Why wouldn't I care?" Kakuzu snapped. "Why are you in Missouri? What about Deidara and Aoi?"
"Deidara's spending Christmas with Sasori while Chiyo's dying and Aoi wanted to sleep through Christmas day." Hidan replied. "Kabuto came over and invited me to spend Christmas with him. If you have a fucking problem with that then tough shit."
"Of course I have a problem with that but..." He sighed. "I guess there's nothing I can do about it." Hidan could tell Kakuzu was forcing his temper down. "You're happy and I'm happy with that. Just please be careful. I'll call you again tomorrow and Christmas day."
"Thanks. I love you." Hidan smiled faintly.
"I love you too." Kakuzu sighed before hanging up.
"So, the New Year party is gonna be here, right Orochimaru?" Kabuto asked his boyfriend.
"What about Christmas?" Hidan joined in, squeezing onto the bottom bunk.
"Well, just the five of us will celebrate that. So no big party." Orochimaru replied.
"Sweet."
–
On Christmas everyone that went to Akatsuki Daycare received a gift from Pain that Itachi chose. Sasori and Deidara made their gifts for Sasori's cousins and Hidan gave edible gifts to Orochimaru, his roommates, and Kabuto. Kakuzu talked to Hidan for two hours about nothing in particular and Jiraiya got a kiss under the mistletoe from Tsunade. They later needed a trip to the hospital to fix his broken jaw. That left the house to Kabuto, Orochimaru, and Hidan for the night.
"Harder, Orochimaru!"
Hidan spent the night in Tsunade's room, pillow over his head.
–
On the thirty-first of December, Hidan found himself making party entrees for Orochimaru's 'guests'. A good half a dozen were already at the house, up in Orochimaru's bedroom. Kabuto had decided to help Hidan prepare the food and beverages. Hidan was amazed by the amount of alcohol Orochimaru had bought for the party. He made a mental note not to let his own drinks or food for the night out of sight.
As the sun went down, the party population drastically increased. Hidan could not find any place in the house quiet enough to hear his phone ring, let alone answer it. He maneuvered past a group of young adults on the stairs and then entered Orochimaru's bedroom. He was not expecting to see what he saw and quickly backed out of the room. He then turned to Tsunade's bedroom, trying to expel from his mind the scene he had just witnessed.
He cautiously entered the smelly room and relaxed a bit when he saw Kabuto was in there alone. He frowned though as he saw that his friend was smoking something. Kabuto started coughing and Hidan rushed over, climbing onto the bed to pat his back. Once Kabuto stopped coughing long enough to realize Hidan was there, he sat up, putting his joint on the bedside table.
"Hey man, you enjoying the party?" He asked airily.
"No, I am not! What are you doing in here, bastard?" Hidan snapped.
"Smoking some pot. Want a puff?" He waved the rolled paper in front of Hidan, holding in another coughing fit.
"Ew, no! It fucking reeks. Where the hell is Orochimaru?"
"He should be here soon. He said he was gathering people for an orgy." Kabuto shrugged, taking another puff.
"What the fuck is an orgy?" Hidan coughed.
"Ask Sasori or Kakuzu." Kabuto shrugged again, spluttering off to cough. "I'm not too sure what an orgy is either..."
Hidan felt his eye twitch and he got off the bed, going to a corner of the room. He pulled out his phone and hesitated on who to call. Kakuzu would not want to be bugged by some weird question. He sighed and dialed him anyways. He was surprised when someone else answered Kakuzu's cell.
"Is this Hidan?" The voice inquired. "Kakuzu's busy right now."
"Oh... I just wanted to ask the shit head a question." Hidan replied, trying to name the voice.
"What's your question...?" Hidan figured it had to be Kakuzu's room mate.
"What's an orgy?" Silence.
"... A what?" Ares sputtered.
"An orgy!" Hidan shouted louder, thinking the party was making it hard for the other to hear him.
"Does someone want to have an orgy with you?" Hidan heard Kakuzu's voice in the background. "Geez man, chill. I highly doubt he's going to have one without you." Kakuzu's voice sounded again and Ares let out an exclamation of pain.
"JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS!" Hidan snapped, losing his patience.
"Dude, chill and smoke this." Kabuto said from the bed, giving him a weird look.
"Okay, okay. It's basically just group sex. Sex with lots of people." Ares sighed. "Kakuzu says to get away from where ever you are now if they're mentioning orgies."
"I think I already saw one..." Hidan twitched, remembering the scene he had walked in on earlier.
"Lucky basta—I mean... Happy New Year!"
"What did he say?" Kabuto stretched.
"I need to go home, Kabuto, I'm not feeling good." Hidan lied, pocketing his phone and backing up, only to bump into someone.
"Nonsense, Hidan, you just got here." Orochimaru's voice sent an unpleasant chill down Hidan's spine.
"M-My mom wants me home early though. Family emergency." He replied quietly, jumping when the back of Orochimaru's pale hand touched his forehead.
"You're just running a fever. Here, I'll give you some Tylenol." He smiled crookedly, pulling out a pill.
"N-No, I'm good." Hidan tripped, surprised when he did not fall to the ground.
"Come on kid, stop being a pussy." A strange man had restrained his movement.
"Thank you." Orochimaru sneered, pinching Hidan's nose and prying his mouth open, popping the pill inside. "You just need to chill and enjoy the party, Hidan."
Hidan struggled as he swallowed, kicking the man behind him and running over to Kabuto. Kabuto was laughing at what he had seen and told Hidan to calm down. Instead Hidan grabbed his arm, pulling him off the bed. He was going to try and get his friend away from the mess they had gotten into. However Kabuto resisted at the door. Hidan cursed and ran outside.
Inside the house, Kabuto seemed to come to his senses, taking Orochimaru outside. It was too late for Hidan to be out and he was a long way from home. The pair searched from the porch for Hidan. They saw him stumbling around in the street, appearing to have trouble walking. However that was not what made Kabuto shout; a car was speeding from the party, heading for Hidan.
The couple quickly ran out to the road, hovering over Hidan's body. Orochimaru cursed under his breath and looked around. Kabuto was shaking and pressed two fingers to his friend's throat, checking for a pulse. Orochimaru ran back to the house, getting into his car and pulling out to where Hidan lay. Kabuto gave a shaky sigh of relief and informed his boyfriend of Hidan's pulse.
"Get him into the car."
Orochimaru lifted Hidan's legs while Kabuto picked him up by the shoulders. Together they put him in the back, strapping him in place with the seat belts. Kabuto hopped into the passenger seat and Orochimaru sped off. He passed a hospital, raising questions from Kabuto.
"We can't take him to the hospital or we get in trouble. We have to dump him somewhere far away from us." Orochimaru explained calmly.
"What? No, we have to get him help!" Kabuto shouted.
"Well then we'll dump him at his house." Orochimaru shrugged.
"No one's there. Aoi is out at a party." Kabuto snapped.
"Then... Sasori's house." Orochimaru said, making a turn. "His cousin Gaara is an insomniac."
"Okay, that and Deidara's there."
Kabuto let some relief show as they pulled into the neighborhood. Sasori's house was the only one with its lights on. They stopped the car in front of the house and Kabuto jumped out. He dragged Hidan out of the car and set him on the side of the road. He wanted to ring the doorbell but Orochimaru had shouted for him to get back in. He jumped in and they sped off again, disappearing into the night.
This is the unedited version. An edited version will be coming soon. Hope you are satisfyed with this one for now. Once my beta has the time, this will be replaced. Feel free to revisit when the next chapter comes to see my detailed author's note.