Summary: Why Quinn looks like she might cry in 3x9, "Extraordinary Merry Christmas," when Sue confronts the glee club for going back on their word to help the homeless.
Prompt: Power
Quinn has come to realize that regret is one of the worst feelings in the world. Watching Coach Sue walk out of glee club practice after discovering that they weren't going to help after all? It made her feel small. Weak. Terrible.
Once upon a time, it would not have made a difference to Quinn, who had grown up with everything a girl could want, in terms of possessions. After all, as a child, Quinn's problem had to do with overindulgence as much as a slow metabolism. Food was never a luxury. It was a given. She and her family tended to turn their heads when it came to poverty, hunger and homelessness. It was disgusting. But it was true. The Fabrays were nothing if not adept at ignoring anything that did not directly impact them.
Until Sam.
When Sam's family - who had been well-off - was suddenly not only jobless but homeless, too, Quinn could not ignore it. She had done what she could, helping Sam take care of Stevie and Stacey while their parents looked for work, and Sam delivered pizzas.
It had been eye-opening. Not only doing her own small part to help Sam's family, but watching him, and all of them, participate in church events for families who were homeless. ("At least we have a roof over our heads," Sam had said, serving others, when he completely deserved to be on the receiving end of all the serving.)
Seven months later, this was a test. Has she changed so very much from that selfish, self-centered girl?
No. Not really. She's changing, but not fast enough. Because she can't speak up in this moment, even having seen hunger, and poverty close up.
Regret is an awful feeling, but it doesn't stop Quinn from choosing to save herself from potential rejection every single time.
She needs to stop clinging to things that can never be, and realize the power she does have. It's not like Sam said at all. It's not really about staying a child. It's about growing up. She can't be a mom to Beth and she needs to accept that.
She tries…oh, she tries. It is like a bitter pill she can't quite swallow, but forces herself to anyway. Because it's what's best.
It's also why Quinn shows up at the homeless shelter. Even though Sam is the only other one to come, Quinn doesn't regret a thing. Because like Sam's family, no one is safe from poverty. Had Quinn kept Beth, this might have been them in a few years. Struggling to survive on minimum wage - maybe as a single parent - maybe not.
It's taking Quinn longer than she would have liked, but slowly, she is learning. If she can do even one small thing to make the world around her better, it's one small step in becoming the person Quinn wants to be.
"Thanks for showing up," Coach says, at the end of the night. And Quinn nods, taking tablecloths from tables, and throwing trash away.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be," she says.