A/N: Wooo! Another episode of "Male Pregnancy 101". Err…anyway…I just watched Family Guy before I wrote this chappie so whenever I wrote L's dialogue I could hear Stewie speaking in my head…which wasn't working out for me really well. Hopefully L doesn't come across as diabolical…because that's totally not my intention. L's supposed to adorable and huggable and lovable and not bent on world domination.
Disclaimer: I don't own L or Light…or any of the other characters that I decide to include in a few chapters because I don't love them as much as I love L and Light.
The next morning, Light woke up to find L already out of bed, which was normal for L in his pre-pregnancy state, but becoming rather rare as L's pregnancy progressed. Light didn't mind that L was up early, but he just hoped that L hadn't been up all night.
Light padded into the kitchen and found L awkwardly perched on a chair, his toes curling around the edge to keep his balance. L appeared to be deep in thought, but he roused himself when he heard Light enter. "Good morning, Raito-kun."
Light gave L a funny look.
L immediately glanced down at his shirt to see if he had spilled on himself. He looked at Light quizzically. "What's wrong, Raito-kun?"
"What did you have for breakfast?" Light asked.
"Nothing," L said, with a rather guilty look.
"What did you eat?" Light growled.
L licked at the corners of his mouth in case he had left any crumbs. "A chocolate muffin and a glass or orange juice," L admitted. "Is Raito-kun angry?"
Light still looked suspicious. "Muffins are fine, but are you sure that's all you ate?"
"I am positive," L said calmly. "I did not touch the cupcake in the fridge. I give you my word."
"Are you sure you didn't eat anything radioactive?" Light asked sternly.
"No, nothing radioactive." L glanced at his hands, faintly curious. "Am I glowing, Raito-kun?"
"Yes, yes you are. I think you better go have a look in the mirror."
L followed Light into the bathroom, looking rather excited. L glanced into the mirror and sighed disappointedly. "I'm not actually glowing, Raito-kun. You've lied to me."
"It's still weird. You look like you snuck out of the house last night and went tanning."
L leaned closer to the mirror. "Why yes, it does appear that way. I'm almost a whole shade darker. It's quite a strange thing to tan at night."
"Is this some kind of pregnancy thing?" Light asked.
"Oh, you might be right," L said thoughtfully. "My increased supply of blood may increase my skin's natural pigmentation. That's probably the best theory we have right now." He shot Light a dark look. "Much better than your theory of radioactivity."
Light shrugged. "I just woke up so I'm not thinking straight. So sue me."
"No excuse," L said cheerfully. "Raito-kun should always be alert."
Light crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay, seriously…did you eat happy pills or what? You're not radioactive, but you're so happy you're almost glowing. What the hell?"
"Is it wrong to be happy?" L asked with the same cheery tone.
"No, but I just don't get where it's coming from. Is it the muffins? If those muffins make you that happy I'll buy them for you all the time."
L started laughing and he politely pressed the back of his hand against his mouth to muffle his laughter, although he still looked obscenely amused.
Light frowned. "This whole pregnancy thing has been very emotional for you. You've gone on some crazy emotional extremes, from crying to laughing. You know, this is probably the first time I've ever heard you laugh."
"Yes, I suppose it is," L said thoughtfully. "Pregnancy is a first time for a lot of things. Hopefully most of them are pleasant experiences."
"Anything I go through with you is a pleasant experience."
L snickered. "Raito-kun is becoming so sentimental." He threw his arms around Light's neck. "I never realized how much you truly cared for me, Raito-kun."
"Let go of me, L," Light ground out. "You're choking me. Stop acting like Misa."
L let go of Light immediately and darted away from him, looking at Light with wide, shocked eyes almost as if Light had just sworn at him.
"What? What did I say?" Light demanded.
"Never mention her again," L hissed.
"Why do you hate her so much?"
L gave him an incredulous look. "Really, Raito-kun? Are you completely oblivious to the dynamics of our relationship? She's your old girlfriend and I'm your new…boyfriend. Doesn't that give me a reason not to like her?"
"Just because you don't like her doesn't mean she doesn't exist anymore. You can't make her go away just because you're jealous of her."
"Jealous?" L scoffed. 'What could I possibly be jealous of her for? She has a negative I.Q. She's clingy, she has a voice that shatters glass…am I missing any of her endearing qualities?"
"Then why don't you want me to talk about her? Are you afraid that if I mention her I'll forget about you?"
L sighed. "I am afraid that you will feel guilty about abandoning Miss Misa and you will not want to rid yourself of her. I do not want to be the man you cheated on your girlfriend with. You cannot maintain your relationship with Misa and raise a family with me at the same time."
"Where is Misa anyway? I need to go talk things over with her."
L's lips curled into a vindictive smile. 'You have not noticed Misa's absence for the past months?"
"No, I haven't. What did you do with her, Ryuuzaki? You better not have done away with her."
"Relax, Raito-kun. I didn't kill her. I merely sent her on a tour across the world. She will not be back until our baby is due to be born," L said gleefully.
Light stared at him. "You sent my girlfriend around the world and I didn't even notice?"
"It's because you're so infatuated with me that you forgot all about MisaMisa," L said happily. He embraced Light, who was still recovering from shock.