dedicated to: rhyrhy, romeaynce, &&veroxion. (I DONT DESERVE YOUR GUYS' LOVE DDDx)
prompt: fmylife(dot)com.
rating: M
story: drabble thirty-eight. sasuke's pov.
FML o38: Today, I was shopping at a supermarket. As I was about to pay for my items, I noticed the cashier was very cute. Trying to be nice, I smiled. She smiled back and said "Hello, how are you?" Instead of saying 'I'm good' or "I'm okay", I said "I'm gay". FML.

note: i decided to do one chapter: sakura's POV. 2nd chapter: sasuke's POV. 3rd chapter: third person. and so on and so forth. REPEAT until we REACH THE ENDDD.

summary: Today, while shopping for tomatoes, I noticed that the cashier was very pretty. Trying to be friendly, I smiled. She said, "Hi, how are you?" Instead of saying the usual "I'm good" or "I'm okay," I accidentally said "I'm gay." FML.

.o38.
by
SasuSaku Forever and Ever
(aka; ohh, &&xena/-x- XENAPHOBiiA -x-/Xenaphant)

Tongue Tied

.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to show my face in here. Ever. Again.

No, seriously. You think I'm joking. I'm totally serious about this. Me, Uchiha Sasuke, sexiest man in all of Konoha (and the Naruto world) has ruined his reputation by saying two words that have destroyed the reputation he's worked so hard on building.

And it was all because of a girl. You know, I've seen lots of pretty girls out there who stalk me and want me to get in their pants, but they haven't really been my type. What with all the screaming and the "Sasuke-kun!" and the ""I LOVE YOU BEAR MY BABIES" and everything…I mean, really, girls can be out of control sometimes.

So, they obviously aren't the right ones for me. But you know how those sappy romance fics go (not that I haven't read them. No, seriously, I haven't. My mom made me watch some stupid rom-coms, rom-drams, and rom-trags with her when I was growing up. I hate to say it, but Black Swan was hot. Seriously. First of all, The Kids are Alright was about…a lesbian couple. Black Swan was about dancing lesbians. There's a difference).

(Anne Hathaway said that at the Oscars. And she, too, was gorgeous in Love and Other Drugs).

Anyway. So, I literally had a "love at first sight" moment. I was buying tomatoes, just picking them out and sniffing them and then putting them in my bag and in my pants (you know the joke about the guy who put the potato in the back of his Speedo? I'm doing it right and putting it in the front, except it's a tomato). Tomatoes are my favorite fruit/food. And they are not vegetables, despite what you all say. Science proves you all wrong.

Then, when I went to check out my tomatoes, the cashier (her nametag read Sakura) looked at me, gave me a smile with her pretty, straight white teeth, and her eyes literally shone in my face. I don't know if it's possible, but her eyes were even brighter than Gai's smile, which was pretty darn shiny. I was going to go blind from the rays.

"Hi," she said, being friendly. Smiling (or, at least, I tried...I ended up just giving her one of my trademark smirks, because honestly, when I smile, I swear, half of my face decides to twitch as if I had a stroke), I decided to be nice back. "Hey."

"How are you today?" she asked as she grabbed my bag and started scanning them to give me my price. I fiddled with my wallet and the unused condom that's been sitting in there for three years. I know that's not healthy, but you know, I can still dream.

I looked up and noticed how actually stunning she was. Like, she didn't deserve to be in a cashier's place. She was supposed to be on the runway for America's Next Top Model. My mouth became tongue-tied and I couldn't form my words right. Pussy got my tongue.

(Maybe mine could go in hers?)

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you okay?" Apparently I was flushed bright red and fiddled with my collar, loosening it.

Usually, I'm supposed to be the one in the situation she's in, where the girls go head over heels for me. But something drew me to her, and I couldn't speak right. I was going to respond with either "I'm okay" or "I'm good." But instead, I said, "I'm gay."

She paused for a moment and dropped my tomatoes quicker than a blink of an eye. To be honest, I don't know what dropped faster—the tomatoes or my pride.

Either way, I wanted both back.

"Uhh…" she began.

"I didn't mean that, I swear, I wasn' talking about that and I promise you that I'm not gay. I love girls and I love porn too and I love women and tits and anything with a pussy and…" Okay, I was really high now. I hate my life. Honestly. FML, because now, everybody was staring at us.

…

It only takes 5 minutes to ruin a reputation.

I'm not sure who said that, but I read it in the Reader's Digest, so someone mfamous must've said it. Maybe it was Donald Trump, for all I know.

.

.

.

You know, when you're stuck in a situation like this you don't know the best way to get out of it. I just stood there, motionless, my hands at my sides and my tongue sticking out and staring at her face (and taking a quick peek at her cleavage. Yum, yum) and becoming redder and redder. Seriously! She was waiting to be licked.

But that wasn't the current problem. The current problem was me. I know, shocking, right? I think it's one of those "it's not me, it's you" speeches.

"Uhm, okay," she said, blinking a few times. Everyone else seemed to dissapate, but I couldn't keep my eyes off her. Great, the one girl I actually show interest in thinks that I'm gay and it's all her fault. If she weren't so god damn pretty, maybe this would never have happened and I could go and keep living the bachelor life, trying to find the right girl but then watching them all flock to me like hungry pigeons. But I already knew that she was the right girl.

"Wait, Sakura-" Looking at her nametag (though I already knew her name, those breasts were just so nice...) "I, uh. It's just that..."

She looked at me weird, as if I was a bug on her that she wanted off. She gently pulled her arm away from me and I was hovering over the cashier counter, looking at her with my eyes and trying to take it all in. I don't know what was happening, but all I knew is that she was some sort of she-devil. Locking me into her spell and dragging me...was that possible? How could somebody so innocent make me want to jack off with vaseline and my socks?

"You know what? Can we just forget this whole thing? I have customers in line and my boss is watching..." Sakura nervously looked behind at the man who was stomping his foot impatiently, eyeing her over, along with me. "That your boyfriend?" he called from across the store. I saw that he was looking at me and ready to get his bodyguards to shove me out the window.

"No! He's just...a customer," Sakura said, gritting her teeth. Ooh, did she like me? Denial, denial, denial...she thought I was smexy. Which was perfect, because I thought she was, too.

"Well, let him leave. He's holding up everybody." Her boss turned away and Sakura sighed in releif. I noticed a pniching feeling in my arm and looked down to see Sakura gripping my wrist.

"Sorry," she mumbled once she realized what she'd done. Pretty soon, the customers behind me were grumblign and moving to the other lines, complaining about how "teenagers should take it somewhere else after their job." "It's just been a long day."

"I know what you mean," I said. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing. Nah, I actually didn't know what it meant, but I could pretend to make her feel better, right?

Sakura rolled her eyes and looked at me. Then, she looked down at her feet, where the tomatoes were all broken and mushed. Damn, and I had spent time trying to pick out those tomatoes!

"Sorry," she said again. "I'm just...new to this. It's my first week and I've never really had a job before, so..." she looked behind her to see where her boss was. "Please don't tell him this, but you can go ahead and get more tomatoes for free. I'll pretend to cash you and then you can leave. I really don't want to cause any more trouble right now, and to be honest, you're kind of making me uncomfortable."

Me? Uncomfortable? I know girls have felt self-conscious whenever they were with me because, well, I am a sex god, but her? Noooo way. "Can we just talk?" I said.

She looked behind her again and saw that nobody was getting into her line. "Fine," she said, sighing deeply. I knew that she wasn't exactly interested but I smirked. Hopefully I could make up for what I've done.

I'LL FACE MYSELF

AND WHATEVER PAIN MAY COME

I'LL BRACE MYSELF!

Linkin Park is amazing. It just so happened that it's my ringtone. But it didn't ring.

.

.

.

"I'm Uchiha Sasuke," I said, introducing myself. I held out my hand for her to take because I wanted to feel her smooth skin against my fingers. She took it, and I felt a jolt. Especially in my...uh, crotch area."You already know who I am," she said, laughing nervously. "My full name is Haruno Sakura."

Wow, she was the whole package. A pretty name, a pretty face, and a pretty body, too.

Could I ask for anything else? Oh yeah, her under me while we're doing it in the dark.

(Making forts. Duh).

I guess I stared at her for a little too long, because she turned away and said, "I think you should go now. This may lower my paycheck." I growled. Screw the money. I could give her my whole wallet if she would just talk to me for at least five more minutes.

"Keep talking to me. I'll pay for whatever you miss."

"But-"

"No buts. You're interesting and I want to have a conversation with a girl who doesn't fawn all over me while I'm looking at her."

Of course, I was the "girl" in the situation and fawning all over this Sakura chick, but she didn't need to know that. She looked at me, sighed, and said, "If I lose my job because of you, I swear, I will hunt you down."

I gave her a smirk. "Fine, whatever." Then, I took her wrist and said, "Can you leave for a few seconds? We should have a sit-down talk. My legs are fucking killing me."

She squealed as I dragged her away, but had enough time to put the "Sorry, this lane is closed" sign on the counter. We went over to the cafe nearby and I made her sit down whiel I ordered two coffees. One for me and one for the lady.

I like my coffee black. I drink it like that. All black and no sugar or cream.

After all, I am a man.

.

.

.

Okay, maybe it was a little sexist of me to give her a double chocolate mocha frappucino. She's a girl, right? She likes that stuff? But then I forgot that girls also like to watch their calories, and knowing how many there were in that grande cup...

"Give me some of yours," she commanded, holding out her hand for my cup. I looked at her over the lid and raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? This? Tch, sweetheart, you could never drink like I do. It's pure black."

"That's what I like."

I didn't know if she was lying or not, but if she was, she was doing a pretty good darn job of it. Her arm was still outstretched and sighing, I handed the cup over. Waiting until she tried it.

She would hate me when I laughed at her puckered face.

"Knock yourself out."

Then, she did the unthinkable. She tossed her head back (mm, look at that neck!) and drank it in three gulps, hot and burning, her throat moving as she swallowed. I gulped. Not only was I impressed with her ability, but I was also getting hard from looking at that neck...

Maybe I could be more sexist and be her Edward Cullen? Bite, bite.

Speaking of which, I could give her the same birthmark I have on my shoulder with the three commas that line up weird.

.

.

.

"Aah," she said, sighing in relief. "That was good." I was still in shock. How could such a girl behave like that? It was like she changed automobile cars in her freetime and swore like a sailor while smoking pot and skateboarding up and down ramps.

She looked at me and laughed. "What, you've never seen a girl drink like this? Honey, I was born on coffee."

"Oh."

I couldn't say anything else. I was thinking about the time in the future on what was going to happen. She goes to my place (or me to hers) and then we go take off our clothes and get the sheets and make "forts."

And I also thought about how I first met her. You know, this would be a great story to tell our kids someday. If we have kids. I don't know, she might knee me in the balls once I tell her that we're going to go make forts.

I really wanted my tomatoes, too. The fact that she licked her lips and looked at me wasn't helping at all. I mean, seriously. Her lips were either naturally shiny or her lip gloss was poppin', and the boys all wanted to meet and chase her after school...I know I wanted to.

I feel like I'm going offtrack here. I wanted to talk to her not only because she was freakin' gorgeous, but also since I wanted to prove to her that not all gorgeous men are gay. It's honestly her fault for being so pretty or else I would never have embarrassed the Uchiha name.

She tapped her fingers against the table and looked at me. "So, Sasuke...are you really gay?"

Here comes the bomb. I sputtered all over the table and she looked at met funny. Apparently I disgusted her. "No! Of course not!" I said. "I told you, I love women!"

Sakura laughed, as if she thought I was lying. "I know you're lying, sweetheart. I'm studying psychology and you're obviously denying it."

"I am not!"

Great. Now I sounded like a little kid.

But honestly, I was telling the truth.

"Mmhm." She wiggled her eyebrows and got up to go back to her shift, taking the coffee cup with her to the trashcan.

"Wait, Sakura-" I began. She looked back at me and said, "It's a shame that you're gay, Sasuke. You're honestly really attractive."

"I know I am, but that's not the point. It's just that...you're really pretty, and..." Wow. Tongue-tied again. This pussy has really got my tongue in her claws. I sound like Hinata whenever she's talking to Naruto. "I'd like to get to know you more, I guess."

Sakura paused, took in the information, and looked at me with her shiny eyes. The light burned, and I swear, my retinas were about to be lit on fire or something.

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh," I repeated. Once again, the whole store was looking at me.

I grabbed her wrist again and held her to my chest. My lips were at her ear. "I swear I'm not gay."

She pushed me away and I expected her to slap me, but she didn't. "Whatever makes you feel better about yourself, Sasuke." She gave me a smile and poked my forehead, like Itachi used to do.

"You have to believe me."

"Or what?"

"Or..." I thought of a threat. "Or I'll kiss you!"

Her eyes widened and she looked away from me. "You wouldn't."

"I'm a man of my word." Then, I swooped in like a Prince Charming and kissed her full on the mouth, my tongue going over her lips and tracing the outline. Mm, it was lip gloss. I smirked and she gasped, so I used the opportunity to sneak my tongue in like the little snake I am, and found hers. She, surprisingly, played with my tongue too, and her hands were grasping the front of my shirt, clutching as if she would drop to the ground. But it was okay. My hands were securely on her waist and I wouldn't let her fall.

Finally, she pulled apart for a breath. "Wow," she said. "Just...wow."

"You better improve your psychology skills, Sakura-chan," I teased, tickling her chin. She frowned, but she pressed her fingers to her lips, which were tingling and slightly swollen. She said nothing.

"Haruno!" her boss shouted from the other end of the store. "Get your ass over here right now!"

She looked at me sadly before she trudged over to her boss's office, and I said, "Wait."

"Yeah?"

I slipped a card into her cleavage (she squeaked) and made sure it was tucked right in her bra. "Call me."

She nodded and gave me a small wave before heading towards the devil's cage. I stood there, while everyone watched us, and smirked, congratulating myself. She was mine. Or at least, a step closer to being mine.

Now she was the one who was tongue-tied. Literally.

And, as I looked at my watch, I realized that I still had some time to get the new tomatoes to replace the ones that she dropped.

lol, i felt like i wnet rly off topic here. i just got out of school yesterday and i have a party and everything but i wanted ot opst this before it was too late nad stuff. i wanted this to be better but i tugess ths will have to do lol.

well i hoep you like it. it's not my best work but it's good enough i hope lol. have fun with your guys' summer or finish the school year with a BANG lol

love from xena x3