37 – Silence.
Silence. The terrible lack of sound envelops our car as My Elemental and I drive back from the hospital. I sit awkwardly in the passenger seat and glance at my wife every few minutes as she drives in silence.
I feel like a small child who is being driven home from school after a parent-teacher meeting, in which the parent discovered that the child had been setting fire to toilet rolls in the staff bathrooms. The silence is strenuous, dangerous. If you break it, you know that only shouting and punishment are to follow.
Kyla hasn't spoken a word since she thanked Carlisle for his time. Four brief words, a handshake, then silence. The silence worried me; it made me feel unsafe, unsure and anxious. Above all it made me feel ashamed.
I was the cause of this. I have done this to My Everything, and now she hates me. I know she hates me, who wouldn't if they were in her position. I would hate me.
I do hate me.
I hate myself for doing this to My Elemental. Knowing that I was the cause for whatever pain and absurd awkwardness that Kyla had been through and will go through as a result of my stupidity makes me feel ill. Nauseous, sick with myself.
Sick of myself.
I glance at Kyla again. She's frowning, as if trying to wrap her mind around a milestone. I know that this is a lot to take in, it is for me. It would be even worse for Kyla.
The silence deafens me, enveloping the car in a venomous, deathly quiet. The silence worries me, filling my head with conversations I could be having with Kyla right now.
Most of these conversations ended with both of us crying, and My Elemental leaving me.
I mean, why would she stay? I've single-handedly ruined her life, now. No more freedom, no more chance of a normal life. What possible reason would she have for staying with me?
As the silence progressed, continuing to lengthen during the long car ride home, my mind kept creating and pushing forward unwanted images, all of them involving Kyla kicking me out, or leaving herself. Various imaginings of doors slamming, tears falling, bags being packed and other horrible happenings made me feel nauseous as they crowded my head, all shouting out to be heard.
My Everything makes a small move, catching my eye and distracting me from the horrible thoughts in my head. I look up, only to realise that my time has run out; we have arrived back at our home.
Panic seeps into me, filling every spare crevice of my being. Every pore, every cell, every single part of me is consumed by terror and anxiety.
Without breaking the silence, My Everything moves to get out of the car. I tell myself that it's now or never, before reaching out my hand and grasping Kyla's arm. My Elemental turns to look at me in confusion, and I sigh, preparing myself for what is almost certainly the end…
"Look, Kyla, I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea that this would happen, and I understand if you hate me now. I won't stop you if you want to leave or something, because even thought I've done this to you, I still love you and want what you want. Just, please, please forgive me…"
Kyla sighs and stops my rambling by covering my mouth with her hand. She smiles at me when I look at her, begging for forgiveness with my eyes.
"Seth, I don't hate you, honey. Why on Earth would I hate you? And what possessed you to think I'd want to pack up and leave you?" She asks me gently. Hope slowly starts to rear its unforgiving head, but I clamp down on it, lest I get disappointed.
"But, but… Now your life is going to be all messed up, and its all my fault-"
My argument is suddenly silenced by Kyla's soft lips covering my own. I start to fall into the kiss, but then it is over.
"I still love you, Seth. This little… Adventure… Is only going to make us closer, you'll see." My Everything smiles, reassuring herself as well as me. I'm not convinced, and I try to say so, but Kyla waves away my comments.
"You're just going to have to deal with it, Seth," She smiles. "You're not going to get out of this. It's final. I'm not leaving, and you're going to help me through this."
My Elemental takes a deep breath, as if coming to a conclusion. She then smiles beautifully, and I'm sure I can see a brand new twinkle in her eye.
"It's official, Seth. I'm pregnant"
A.N. ~
God, this is so SAPPY. I can't believe I wrote something so lovey-dovey and mushy.
~shudder~
I have FINALLY finished this chapter; I've been working on it for DAYS…
Lena: She's PREGNANT?
There you go. This chapter, in a nutshell.
Well, I now have a Poll running, debating the Title of the newest Chapter. Please submit your vote, because I hold a great deal on my Chapter Names, and the new chapter won't be written until I get my votes…
Lena: vote, vote, vote, vote, VOTE.
…
Please?
The Poll shall close on the 1st of February, which is Next Tuesday…
That's exactly ONE WEEK…
Anyhow, hope you liked this chappie; let me know by reviewing and telling me how lame this chapter is :P
Just until next time!
Ja matta!
Jerome :P
And Lena xo