#50
Just hold on
— ZOEYGIRL34
"I don't - think I can do this," he chokes out. Shame flares hotly inside him. And a fear that he is trying desperately not to show her.
"No." Her grip tightens, fierce and painful, but the burning sensation in his fingers is worse, the cramping overwhelming. "No, Castle. You just hold on."
"Kate-" he tries.
"Don't you dare. Don't you dare."
Two bare handholds on the rock face with Kate above him, lying flat to the ground to hang on to him. But he's stones heavier than her, and there's no way - there's no way out.
He wants to tell her to turn her head. Don't look. It's that imminent. He's going to lose his grip. She won't be able to hang on to him, the toeholds have already crumbled to dust.
"Kate," he starts again. His forehead sheens with sweat. Through his palms runs a terrible pain, his grip clawlike. "Kate, honey-"
"Don't you dare give up," she hisses. "They are nearly here. They're so close."
She suggested they take this path, try to head off their suspect as he dashed through the woods. Terrain the man obviously knew far better. Castle was skidding over the drop before he could put on the brakes. She's going to blame herself, for the rest of her life, and it guts him to know that.
"Do not do this," she growls. "Do not say good-bye, don't look at me like that. Just hold on. Hold on, Castle. This isn't how we end. We are just beginning."
He doesn't want her to look. He presses his forehead to the rock, trying to push past the cramping in his fingers, the agony in his palms, the thump and sway of his body against the side of the cliff.
It's been such an amazing life with her. He feels pathetically, desperately grateful for having had her for all this time.
"Don't do this," she gets out. He lifts his head and meets her eyes, the tears sliding down her face. "Don't do this. Please. Castle. Just hold on. For me. Please, Rick."
"I love you," he says, the words rushing to get out even though he told himself he wouldn't do that to her. But he does it anyway, because he's always wanted those to be his last words.
Her face crumples. "No. No. You are not-"
Strong arms come over the cliff, grip the back of his shirt, his bicep, and they both gasp, terrible relief practically crushing him. He finds a place to wedge his knee, despite the pain, and the boys grunt and haul him back up.
He's on his hands and knees, gasping, when Kate throws herself at him, dragging them both back down to the earth.
"Don't you ever do that again," she cries into his ear.
"Never. Never," he promises, breathing her in. Safe.
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