Kitsune no Ken: Fist of the Fox

Written by Neon Majestic

(DISCLAIMER: The Naruto franchise and the characters therein belong to and were originally created by Masashi Kishimoto.)

OoOoO

CHAPTER 38 – Comic Plot

Naruto's eyebrows rose slightly at Hiashi's declaration. "Oh? Well, I'm already here, aren't I? Should we get started now, or would you rather wait until the night of the party?"

"We'll carry out the first test right here and now," Hiashi replied coolly, and then he reached into his pocket to pull out a small Rubik's cube, roughly two inches across, its colors all jumbled. "The first test is to solve this puzzle in the time it takes me to say the alphabet aloud."

"Hm..." Naruto's gaze returned to Hiashi's. "What's stopping you from rushing through the alphabet in less than ten seconds?"

"With the way the cube is now, I won't have to. Now…" Hiashi simply held out the cube, and Naruto took it. "A," Hiashi began, turning his back to the boy.

Naruto held the cube silently.

"B."

Naruto began to move, shifting the pieces of the cube around.

"C. D. E. F."

"Gee!" Naruto grinned, holding up the solved Rubik's Cube with a hint of pride. "That was easy!"

"Wha—?" Hiashi's eyes widened, but only slightly, as he turned and beheld Naruto's handiwork. Finished already? And… He quickly took the puzzle from Naruto and examined it. Flawless…perfectly done! He frowned. I underestimated him. "How quickly could you have solved that?"

"It was just a kid's toy, you know. I had it solved before you even handed it to me," Naruto shrugged.

"...Is that so?" Hiashi composed himself. "Well then, you shouldn't have any problems with the next test, particularly since you have until the night of the party to prove that you've passed it."

"Okay, let's hear it. What's the next test?" Naruto inquired.

Hiashi allowed himself a smirk. "Be in two different places at the same time."

"…what."

"Meaning, two geographically different locations at the same time," Hiashi clarified. "And bring evidence that you have done so. I'll wait to see it when you arrive back here on the 25th."

"Hmm…" Naruto frowned.

OoOoO

It was just past midnight, and even the light of the moon and stars was blocked off by ominous, heavy clouds that looked ready to unleash a downpour at any moment. The highway was sparsely lit by a few street lamps, but there was no traffic on the road except for a single black motorcycle.

The vehicle was clearly a racing model, as evidenced by the streamlined, armored frame and its sheer speed. An expert might have been able to recognize the specific make and model, but most wouldn't be able to see past the matte black paint that covered any and all logos the bike might once have had. In contrast to the bike's original color, this paint was a dull, lusterless black that was meant to reflect as little light as possible.

The rider of the motorcycle brought it to a stop with practiced ease and the assistance of a special braking system that certainly wasn't a stock feature. She turned the bike ninety degrees as it decelerated, skidding sideways a short distance before stopping completely.

The young woman wore a very obviously custom black leather jacket, with her arms and the front of her belly bared, along with shorts of the same material and a black half-skirt with red lining that concealed her left side but bared her right leg entirely. She wore black boots and fingerless gloves, also of leather, with a black fishnet mesh over the rest of her arms and legs. Her long, voluminous black hair was tied into a high ponytail, and she wore a black mask in the likeness of a fox that left her mouth exposed. She strode forward in the dim orange light, pulling a pair of black polypropylene batons, each twenty-six inches long, from twin scabbards on her back. These were yantok, blunt weapons most famously associated with escrima, and this young woman's weapon of choice.

"Hey now, don't get so aggressive," an older but still young man's voice rang through the otherwise stark silence. He stepped under one of the street lamps, exposing himself. As expected, he wore a custom business suit that was colored and styled vaguely like a jester's outfit, blue on one side and white on the other, with thin swirling designs of each color crossing the divide into each other. Both colors were looking worn-out and dull, and although he'd had this outfit for a while, it was an intentional effect and had always looked this way. His features were obscured by a sturdy, hard plastic clown mask with a broad grin full of sharp teeth, leaving only his icy-blue eyes exposed.

Of course, Shadow Fox had taken Mischief's mask off quite a few times, and she knew the face underneath well enough. Still, this was an unusually dark look for him. This mask was a rather blatantly evil image, in contrast to the creepy, yet friendly smiles his usual masks sported. "What do you want, Mischief?"

"The same thing I always want." He grinned behind his mask, chuckling momentarily. "You know what? This is the part where I crack a joke, and you don't laugh at it. Lighten up, Foxy."

"I asked you a question," Shadow Fox replied, stepping forward with her weapons held loosely at her sides. "What's your plan this time?" she pulled an old yellow flip-phone out of her pocket, tossing it aside. "You actually called me here, Mischief. I know you well enough to understand that you have a plan tonight, and it either begins or ends with you killing me."

"Kill...Kill you?" Mischief laughed while aiming an incredulous look at her. "And they call me crazy. Foxy, you're my favorite person in this whole city. Everyone else is...bland. Boring. Expendable."

Shadow Fox grimaced. "Expendable?"

"Tell me, Foxy, do you have a TV or something in that utility belt?" Mischief stepped forward again, reaching into the right-hand pocket of his jacket to pull out a red and white marker. From his left, he pulled out a new-looking touch-screen phone. "You might wanna turn it on."

Shadow Fox blinked behind her mask, but that was all the emotion she showed. Warily, she reached into one of the pouches of her black leather belt, pulling out a touch-screen phone of her own. It took her only a few seconds to access the television app. "What channel am I looking for?"

"Oh, it should be on just about all of 'em in a few seconds," Mischief giggled.

The Fox began to feel a growing sense of dread as she picked one of the news channels and waited. Meanwhile, Mischief raised his own phone to his ear, clearing his throat quietly.

"Hello there, Sogai City. I'm Mischief!" Shadow Fox froze when Mischief's voice rang out of her phone in real time, accompanied with an aerial view of the city, likely streaming live from a helicopter. "Now, I know I can't be the only one who's awake and bored tonight. I'd like to think that the show I'm going to put on for you won't be wasted, but just in case you're asleep right now, I'm gonna wake you up."

Oh, that's not good.

The Fox's eyes widened in horror at the sight of an orange flash near the top of her screen; a blossoming fireball that only grew brighter as the seconds passed. "That, ladies and gentlemen, that sound and-or light you just experienced, was an automotive factory."

"You bastard," Shadow Fox snarled, raising her batons as she strode forward.

"Ooh, looks like it's time for me to put us on speakerphone!" Mischief proclaimed gleefully. "Okay, Foxy, you're on! Say hi!" she froze again. "Oh, don't leave 'em hanging! After all, the employees who worked at that factory are listening, waiting for you to save their lives!"

"...What?" Shadow Fox growled. "They're alive?"

"Oh, yeah. Now pay attention, the game's about to start and I have to explain the rules." Mischief cackled. "Somewhere out there in Sogai is a skyscraper, and the employees from that factory are inside. The catch is, that tower is rigged to blow up as well. Now, I may or may not have a detonator. There may or may not be a timer on those bombs. And I may or may not have a small army of clowns watching the tower from all sides, ready to take down Shadow Fox if she gets near it. It's up to Foxy to make a guess and act accordingly."

The Fox lunged, crossing the distance between herself and Mischief in a blur of black. She aimed her first blow at his ribs with her right-hand baton, but naturally he dodged backward. However, she also happened to be dual-wielding the yantok at the moment, and her skill in escrima had trained her to attack with both sticks independently of each other. The momentum of her right-hand swing did absolutely nothing to delay her left-hand attack.

Mischief took a yantok strike to the face, giving off a loud cracking sound as her weapon struck his mask. He grunted in pain as he fell backward, but he laughed it off and rolled to his left as Shadow Fox attempted to close in on him. He scrambled to his feet quickly, popping the cap off the marker in his hand and aiming it at the Fox.

She tensed, recognizing the innocent-looking marker for what it really was. Mischief pressed his thumb down on the side of the marker, firing a thin stream of red liquid. This was a frighteningly potent acid; one that Shadow Fox had seen in action many times before. She leapt to the side of the acid stream, launching herself through the air.

With expert timing, she slapped her right palm onto the ground and curled herself up tightly, rolling to her feet. She had further practiced this move to make certain that she could freely open her grip on the baton in her right hand, letting it strike the ground as she did, then snatch it up again as she began to roll forward. She straightened, and threw her left-hand baton directly at Mischief. It struck the dead center of his sternum, knocking the wind out of the villain; he stumbled backward, but managed to right himself in time to see Shadow Fox's now free left hand dip into her utility belt. She withdrew a small grey sphere from that pouch, throwing it into the pavement at her feet, hard; almost instantly, the smoke bomb released its payload to fill the air with an opaque white cloud.

"...I really have to find a way to see through this stuff," Mischief grumbled, then glanced to his right where he saw a flicker of movement. He opened fire with his acid, but completely failed to land a hit on the Fox. "Foxy, why do you always have to spoil the fun? Now we have to go ahead of schedule!"

A moment later, Shadow Fox whirled toward the sound of an explosion coming from right nearby; her eyes narrowed when she realized that it had come from where she had parked her bike. Scowling, she dashed out of the smoke cloud to find her ride a flaming ruin in the wake of an RPG strike. Even worse, the shooter was perched atop an idling black van which was spray-painted with Mischief's signature graffiti style. He was wearing a clown mask, and he wasn't alone—the back doors of the van opened to release another half-dozen clowns, all armed with aluminum baseball bats.

Meanwhile, the driver of the van itself floored the gas yet again, forcing her to dodge to the side as it plowed into the white smoke behind her. The Fox considered what that could mean for Mischief, but before she could decide whether or not to head back into the smoke and attack him again, the six clown mooks jumped her.

Obviously, Shadow Fox was by far the better fighter, but they had six weapons to her one. It took about eight seconds before she had to block two strikes at once with only her one remaining yantok. The second struck her from behind, sending her to the ground hard.

To her credit, it was actually Mischief who landed that hit with her other baton. "Okay, now settle down," he commanded.

One of the dumber clowns actually continued to kick her while she was down, and took a burst of acid to the chest for it. He went down screaming, but he fell silent shortly after. "Idiot," Mischief grumbled.

Aware that the blow she had taken was nothing more than a painful distraction, the Fox glanced around at the six clown mooks left behind by Mischief, who had now returned to the black van that had been exposed by the fading cloud of smoke. "Hey, Foxy, let me show you one of my newest toys," the villain called.

She cast her gaze at his right hand, which held an obviously fake pie. The material comprising it, while shaped rather carefully into the likeness of swirling whipped cream, was in fact an off-white plastic explosive.

"Let me show you one of mine," she replied evenly, and drew something out of her utility belt with lightning speed. Instead of presenting whatever new weapon she had, however, she instead revealed a black-painted handgun that might've appeared totally ordinary if not for the grappling hook she promptly fired from it. The Fox was then pulled by the retracting hook to the top of a street lamp on the far side of the highway, leaving only the clowns to be obliterated by the pie-bomb that Mischief had thrown.

While Shadow Fox reached into her belt for whatever new weapon she'd promised, Mischief simply doubled over, laughing hysterically at the wreckage where his clowns had previously been standing. Naturally she took advantage of this opening, throwing a four-bladed shuriken at Mischief. The blade passed directly in front of him as he continued to laugh madly, where it exploded with a blinding white flash and a bang. Mischief fell backward and stopped laughing, dazed and disoriented.

Shadow Fox quickly descended from the top of the lamp and fastened a pair of handcuffs around Mischief's wrists. "You killed them," she observed dispassionately. "Everyone you brought with you tonight is dead, because of your own actions."

"Yeah," he agreed. "So?"

The Fox remained silent as she patted him down, searching for the detonator that she couldn't be sure even existed. When she found nothing, she stood up and left him face-up on the ground, with his arms locked painfully under his back. "Mischief...stop me if you've heard this one before," she panted. "A man walked into a bar, and said...ow."

Mischief took a moment to get it. "That's...ahaha...that's actually..." he began laughing again, even louder. "You, made, a joke!" he wheezed breathlessly. "I'm, rubbing off, on you, Foxy!"

With considerable effort, he calmed himself enough to say, "The bomb's at 350 Kama Street. The fifty-second floor on the north side."

She turned and strode toward the black van previously occupied by the clowns, since she would need it to reach the skyscraper in question. However, before she left she turned to address her foe one last time. "Why are you doing all of this? What was the plan tonight?"

"Give 'em a show. Duh." Mischief chuckled again. "I've got nine different helicopters filming us and streaming it to the news networks! It's all just a show, Foxy! Entertain us!"

OoOoO

Hinata's phone went off, and she gave a loud, startled scream as it tore her out of the world of Shadow Fox with no warning at all. "KYAAAAH!"

"Oi, Hinata!" Hanabi, passing outside just then, burst into the room in a panic. "What happened?"

"N-Nothing!" Hinata shouted back, her heart pounding in her throat. "My phone just startled me..."

"Oh, great. The heir to Hyuga Corp, frightened by her own phone. Lovely." Hanabi shook her head and walked off.

Sighing, Hinata picked up the still-ringing phone and answered it shakily. "...H-Hello?"

"Hello, Hinata-sama. It's Kabuto." He paused, and added with a hint of concern, "Are you alright? You seem... disturbed."

"It's nothing; the phone just startled me," she admitted. "I was really getting into this Shadow Fox comic, and..." she trailed off, shrugging even though he obviously couldn't see her. "So, um... what's up?" she asked this awkwardly, caught thoroughly off-guard by the context of the conversation.

"I wanted to talk to you about the party this Saturday," Kabuto replied easily. "Specifically, about Naruto-kun and his attendance."

"...Oh." Hinata frowned. "So do you think I shouldn't be socializing with Naruto-kun as well?"

"Nothing of the sort," Kabuto answered quickly. She could hear the easy smile in his tone, and a clicking sound as he pushed up his glasses. "I simply wished to explain a complication that we'll have to deal with before Saturday night."

"A... complication?" Hinata repeated, concerned. "What's wrong? How bad is it? And you said we."

"It would be best if I get straight to the point, Hinata-sama. Among other stipulations, Naruto-kun has been told to wear a gold tuxedo to the party, otherwise he'll be denied entry."

Hinata blinked, digesting this information slowly. "Um... well, thank you for telling me this but... what can be done about it?"

"Therein lies the problem. I can't think of any way to circumvent this and allow Naruto-kun to arrive at the party in proper attire... but there is a way we can make the most of this situation as it is. Hold on a moment. I'm going to send you a picture of the solution I've come up with."

"Hai." She waited a few seconds, then opened the photo Kabuto had sent her.

"What say you, Hinata-sama?"

She smiled. "I like it."

OoOoO

February 22.

It was a thoroughly ordinary Wednesday in Konoha High's English class, and around the right time of year to start the requisite, traditional unit on one of Shakespeare's works; this time, Terumi Mei had decided to go with The Merchant of Venice. She stood at the front of the class with her back to them, quickly jotting down basic information for the class about the setting of the story, particularly focusing on the social divide between Jews and Christians during the time-period, which formed the basis for much of the plot.

For a third time, she heard the soft rustling sound of a folded piece of paper being handed across the classroom, this time from left to right. She smirked subtly, knowing that whoever it was probably thought she was oblivious.

After finishing her next sentence on the blackboard, she turned with an amicable smile, just in time to see Sai unfolding the paper he'd just been handed. He flattened out the paper on his desk and began scribbling on it as if completely unaware that she was looking at him.

"Ahem." She cleared her throat.

Sai looked up. "Is there a problem, Terumi-sensei?"

"Not at all," Mei replied casually. "Unless, of course, you have an objection to coming up here and reading what's on that paper, to the whole class. In English, if you will."

At odds with Ino's faint but still quite noticeable blush, Sai nodded with a smile. "Of course, Terumi-sensei." He pushed back his chair, strolled to the front of the classroom, and cleared his throat. "'Holy crap, it's beautiful,'" he read from the paper, "'can I please keep this one?'"

"'Of course, but it isn't done yet.'"

"'Oh. Okay then.'"

He turned to Mei again, noting her confused expression. Rather than asking for the context of the odd conversation, she simply held out her hand and was further confused by Sai's obvious lack of hesitation to hand her the paper.

She flipped over the paper, and her eyes went wide at the sight of Sai's latest artwork. This one was a startlingly photorealistic portrait of Ino, who sat slouched forward over a desk that wasn't yet drawn, supporting her chin with her left hand. At this point, only Ino herself had been drawn, and there was nothing around her but blank white paper.

"Ah..." Sai smiled as he drew Mei's attention. "You were expecting us to be writing back and forth about something...suggestive, isn't that right?"

Mei blushed faintly, since he was so clearly right.

"Terumi-sensei, please try and keep your mind out of the gutter, at least while we're in class," Sai continued casually.

The class snickered, and suddenly the teacher was reminded of a certain incident a while back with Uzumaki Naruto. They were laughing the exact same way, only this time at her, their own instructor, and she couldn't fault any of them, for she'd brought it on herself. Without thinking, she looked down at Sai's outstretched hand and gave him back the drawing; he in turn went back to his seat and resumed drawing, but added, "I should have it done before lunch, and I've already read The Merchant of Venice, so everything on the blackboard is familiar to me."

"We're reading The Merchant of Venice this year? Cool!" The class' attention was quickly redirected to Naruto, who stood halfway through the open doorway with his right hand on the knob. "Uh, Terumi-sensei, why are you blushing?"

The class laughed again, but she recovered sharply. "Never mind, Uzumaki-kun. Would you care to explain why you're so late?"

"Sorry," he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "I had to take a trip all the way to Lightning County this morning. I got up really early for it, but on the way back the traffic was crazy."

"I...see..." Still off-balance from the situation with Sai and Ino, Mei hesitated. "And what'll your excuse be, the next time you turn up for class late?"

"Well...next time I'll just say I got distracted by a view of the breeze blowing your skirt up and that it took the paramedics a while to revive me," Naruto shrugged.

The class descended into hysterical laughter, and it took Mei almost a full minute to get them under control again. Even then, half of them continued to smirk and even giggle until the bell finally rang for lunch. Mei, meantime, made a mental note to give Naruto the worst punishment she could think of when the opportunity next presented itself.

OoOoO

Sai was the last to leave the classroom, taking a few seconds to put the finishing touches on Ino's portrait before following her and the rest of the students outside. "Here you go, Ino-san," he spoke up as he caught up to her and handed her the picture with a cheerful smile.

Ino held the paper loosely with awe, drinking in the detail of her own form so perfectly preserved in Sai's artwork. She noted with a hint of amusement that he had erased her bored frown and replaced it with a smirk. "Wow...do you really think I look this good?" she asked him without thinking, then blushed faintly as she realized what she'd just said.

"The beauty of the world in real-time can never be matched by anything a mortal can draw," Sai mused. "I try my best, obviously, but what I'm saying is that the real 'you' looks much better."

Ino blinked.

"Besides," the pale-skinned boy went on obliviously, "I'm going to do a second version of that one." He pointed to the paper in her hand. "Preferably on a larger canvas, with color, and I'm going to change the scene and its context. I want to make it unique, a scene that has never happened in this world. An artwork with its own unique soul."

Ino opened her mouth slightly, while still searching for some kind of reply to that declaration. She was, however, abruptly interrupted by another familiar blonde. "Yo, Sai, Ino-chan!" Naruto was suddenly standing to her right.

She turned to him with her head slightly tilted down, hiding her eyes under a jarringly dark shadow. "Eat with someone else today."

A drop of sweat slowly trickled down the back of Naruto's head, and he stepped away from her. "Sure, whatever you say, Ino-chan!" he held up his hands, then turned and left as quickly as he could without running.

Seconds later, recalling Ino's penchant for having disturbing bouts of fury over nothing, Naruto actually did start running.

OoOoO

Hinata looked up just in time to see a blonde-haired blur coming in her direction. "W-Wha...?"

For his part, Naruto heard a familiar, female voice begin to speak up as he dashed past her. He might've glanced back if he wasn't completely convinced that doing so would reveal Ino following him at a similar pace. It was an obviously irrational fear and he knew it; there was no way she was chasing him, and even if she was, he was Kurama the Fox. At the very least, he could withstand whatever torture she inflicted on him for... whatever it was he had done to aggravate her this time.

After a while, he reminded himself that running in the halls was against school rules, and he could easily get in trouble for it. True, the punishment wouldn't be too severe, but he was already far away from Ino...or whatever had possessed her.

For her part, Hinata slowed down from the brief chase she'd started of Naruto and stopped next to him, concerned and slightly winded. "Naruto-kun, what's wrong?"

"Gah!" he jumped as he turned to face her, but relaxed almost immediately when he recognized her. "Oh, uh, hey, Hinata-chan. It's nothing; I just really pissed off Ino...somehow."

He paused. "So, anyway…I guess I'll see you at the party Saturday?"

"Um…okay, then, Naruto-kun," said Hinata, feeling a bittersweet mixture as she watched him depart.

OoOoO

END CHAPTER 38

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NEON MAJESTIC: Well, another chapter is here. And this one was not originally done by me, so therefore, let me say a BIG thank-you to BlueWolf1923 for his help in ghost-writing this for me. Of course, he'll see that I made a few changes here and there, but it's still originally his handiwork, so give credit where credit is due.

Now, in case I haven't said it yet for many of you just coming on board, I'm going to say it here: I'm taking a particular tack so as to try and end this story as fast as I can, since I've been having a few arguments with my conscience recently due to the original content in the original Naruto series, the same kind of arguments that led me to prematurely end my previous two works of fan-fic, Velocity and The Flash 2055. I've already posted some of my rough-drafts onto my deviantArt account, and there's information on those on this story's trope page at TV Tropes.

As well, I'm turning this story into a "cookie-cutter fic," meaning that I'm taking sections from previous stories (including the said prematurely-ended stories) and rewriting them so as to make them part of this story proper. Those of you who've read those stories before, will therefore recognize those recycled scenes as you see them here, but I make no apologies for it and feel that it will work that way in any case.

Aaaaaaand I'll bite the bullet and make the admission now: The story's title, "Kitsune no Ken," was inspired by "Hokuto no Ken," a.k.a. Fist of the North Star. Nice series, that.

AAAAHHH-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-AT-ATAAAAAAHHH!

…sorry, I couldn't resist.

Next chapter—the Hyuga party comes up!