37

September 28, 1997

Harm caught Tally in his arms. "Hey, you. Did you have fun with Grandma?"

Trish had taken Tally out for a few hours to the playground and some grocery shopping, so Harm could accompany Mac to Vera. Judging by the fact Mac seemed completely drained by the time she'd reappeared, it had been an intense conversation. He'd hugged her close, and sent her to bed the second they'd gotten home where he read her another chapter, so she could fall asleep.

"I did!"

He hugged the little girl. "What did you do?"

"We went to the playground. Pippa and Rose were there too, with Auntie Andrea and Auntie Leslie." She looked eagerly around the room, obviously looking for Mac. "Where is Momma?"

Harm shook his head while grinning. Of course she was more excited to see Mac than she was to tell him how her day had been. "Mommy went to take a nap."

She switched gears again. "What's for dinner?"

"Mommy's favorite pasta." He'd decided comfort food was in order tonight. "With salad."

Tally scrunched her nose when she heard the mentioned vegetables. "Aw, Daddy… Do I have to?"

"Yes, you do. You need to get big and strong, so you need your vegetables. It's not up for debate."

She narrowed her eyes at him, ready to contradict. "Is Momma going to eat the vegetables, too?"

"Doesn't she always?"

"Mmm." She chewed on the thought. "Maybe a little bit."

"All right." Harm high-fived her. "Good girl."

Tally looked around. "Can I go see Momma?"

Harm checked his watch. "Go see if she's awake yet. But be quiet, Talls. If she's still asleep, let her sleep."

"Okay, Daddy." Tally slid down onto the floor and skipped to the bedroom. Carefully, she pushed the door open and peeked in.

Mac was lying on her back with her eyes closed, but her head turned in the direction of the door when she heard it open. Vera had been fair but tough on her; she'd asked questions Mac didn't want to be asked. But it meant they were making progress. And like he'd promised, Harm had been there for her when her session was over, ready with a hug, tea and chapter to read so she could actually fall asleep.

If she was completely honest with herself, she liked it. But the biggest part of her was still scared that he was going to break that particular promise the first chance he got. She wanted to trust him, and she did for the most part, but she was afraid to rely on him, because she had been disappointed so many times before.

"Momma?" Tally whispered. "Are you awake?"

Mac smiled. Nothing like Tally to distract you from your misery for a while. "Hi, honey. I'm awake." She patted the space next to her. "Come sit. Did you have fun?"

Tally settled onto the bed and snuggled close, then launched into a tale about her adventures on the playground. Mac loved to hear her talk and see her excited. It took her mind off things she didn't necessarily want to think about.

"…and now we're home."

"So I see."

Tally smirked. "Are you done napping? Daddy is making pasta. The one you love so much."

"Is he now?" Mac stifled a yawn.

"The one with the spicy sausage and the…" She thought of the word, and when she couldn't find it, she shrugged. "The funny pink fishy things."

Mac laughed. "Prawns. The funny pink fishy things are called prawns."

"Those. And he's making salad, too."

More quiet laughter. Harm wouldn't be Harm if he wasn't making something healthy, too. "Of course he is."

Tally wasn't having it. "Do I have to eat the salad?"

"You do. At least a little bit, Talls."

She wasn't done trying to worm herself out of it yet. "But I like the pasta so much better."

Mac brushed hair out of her face. "I know. But the salad is good for you, so we'll eat some salad too. Daddy puts a lot of effort into making dinner; the least we can do is eat a little bit of everything he makes."

Tally sighed, giving in. "All right." She paused, leaning into Mac's touch. "Momma?"

"Mmm?"

A frown passed over Tally's expressive face and she plucked on the bed sheets. "Grandma said that maybe you were going to be a bit sad when we got home. Are you sad?"

Mac sighed. If they wanted Tally to always be honest with them, she might as well set the right example. Honesty it was. "I am. A little bit."

Tally's eyes grew wide. "Something I did?"

"No, honey," Mac soothed. "Never something you did."

"Then why? Are you still scared of the scary man?"

Mac let her breath out. "Not the scary man himself; I am scared of what he did."

Tally's brows knitted together again. "Daddy said that he wasn't allowed to come close to us again."

"He isn't." She tried to simplify. "Sometimes knowing something doesn't mean that you feel that way. You know that he isn't allowed to come close to us, too, right?"

"Yes."

"And you still rather sleep with me and Daddy instead of in your own bed, right?"

Tally nodded. "It's safe."

"Exactly. Staying with us is safe. So I'm trying to feel safe again, too. The scary man did things that he wasn't allowed to do. And what he did made me afraid. Afraid for you and your safety, afraid of Daddy's reaction, and my reaction. And sometimes when something really scary happens to you, the only thing that helps is to talk about it. To talk to someone who helps you make a bit more sense of what you feel. Every now and then a doctor can explain why you're feeling what you're feeling better than you can explain it to yourself. And that's okay."

Tally seemed to follow along. "So you're talking to a doctor?"

"I am."

"Can't you talk to Daddy?" Daddy was the safest place on earth. Surely, he could help her feel safe, too?

Mac's hand was still raking through Tally's hair. "I do talk to Daddy. And that does help. But what happened was so scary, that I need the doctor, too."

Tally shifted on the bed and stretched out next to Mac. "Is that where you and Daddy went? Why Grandma and me couldn't come?"

"Grandma and I," Mac automatically corrected. "Yes, it is. Daddy had to wait out in the waiting room for me to come back, and waiting an entire hour is no fun for you. We thought you'd have more fun at the playground with Pippa and Rose."

"I did," Tally confirmed. "But you should have fun too. Taking a nap is no fun."

"I will. The nap was necessary because I was really tired. I'll have fun with Aunt Teagan tomorrow."

Tally looked up. "Where are we going with Aunt Teagan?"

"You're not going anywhere, unfortunately for you. It's only me and Aunt Teagan."

For a moment, Tally looked confused. "Is Daddy going with you?"

"No."

"Grandma?"

"No, Grandma isn't either."

"Momma, you can't go without Daddy or Grandma. Somebody has to stay with you!" she protested, clearly distraught.

"Shh." Mac caressed her head. "Aunt Teagan is going with me. We're going to visit a museum and get some coffee. We'll be with the two of us."

It wasn't going to be sufficient. "But that's not enough!"

Mac's voice became stern. "Yes, it is. Aunt Teagan and I will be fine. Honey, you can't keep on protecting me. That's not your job. Your job is to be a kid. And I can't stay inside forever. What do you think will happen when I have to go back to work? Are you going to be like this, too?"

"They have guards at work," Tally argued. "Daddy says the Marines on the outside keep you safe."

"They do."

"There won't be Marines at the museum."

"There will be Security guards at the museum," Mac countered. "This isn't a discussion, Tally. What's different from you going to Aunt Andrea's or with Grandma this afternoon?"

"Daddy or Grandma was with you."

"Well, Aunt Teagan will be with me. And you're going to have to learn to be okay with that."

Tally's lower lip stuck out and she looked pleadingly, but Mac wasn't giving her an inch. "Please be careful?"

"Always." Mac pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Both girls looked up when the door opened, and Harm's face showed. "How are my two favorite girls?" He was getting used to this. Mac and Tally had something together that he couldn't rival. Every now and then he'd catch them together, sitting, hanging somewhere, heads close together, deep in conversation. And every time he made a mental picture, trying to savor the moment.

Tally looked up. "Hungry!"

Tally's appetite and preference for meat, most of her facial expressions and her timing on everything made more sense now that there was Mac to tie them to. His daughter had been somewhat of an enigma until her aunt showed up, because most mannerisms weren't his, and hadn't been Di's either.

"Go wash up. Dinner is almost ready."

Tally clambered off the bed and ran out. Harm offered Mac his hand to help her up. His eyes lingered on her face. Mac raised an eyebrow at him, wiping the corner of her mouth. "What is it? Did I drool?"

Laughing lightly, he shook his head. "No, no drool. Just thinking that you're really beautiful."

She blushed right up to her hairline. "With a split lip and bruised cheek? Thanks, Harm, but I'm fairly certain I've looked prettier than this."

"Prettier, maybe. Doesn't mean you're not beautiful now." He tilted his head to the side. "You sleep okay? Are you feeling okay?"

"Better now," she smiled. "I actually got some sleep, which was nice." The look in her eyes turned hesitant. "Did I say 'thank you' for today?"

He winked. "You can cook tomorrow." More serious, he added: "You did, Sarah. You're welcome."

Tally stuck her head back in. "Come on! Grandma says the pro… pra… Funny fishy things are going to be overcooked!"

Laughter bubbled up from inside Mac as she followed Tally to the dining table. "Prawns, Tally. They're called prawns."