Hey guys!
I'm sorry. It has been practically a whole month since I've updated. It's never been this bad before. Technically, it hasn't been a full month. But it's only 2 hours away from it! I was super stressed out about this chapter. However, I noticed that shortly after my last update, there were a couple of you who were continually attempting to urge me to update much sooner than usual, to the point that it was pestering. I wish that I had all the time in the world to update whenever I simply felt like it as well, but I have a life. I don't get paid for writing this story. I'm only paid by reviews. I do this on my free time. If I really wanted, I could (like many authors) easily drop this entire story, and forget about it. If you're that impatient to wait for updates, then read a completed fan fiction, or just go to the book store. Don't pressure me to update, based upon when you feel I simply should update. If you really wanted me to update as quickly as you wished, you would receive nothing but crap chapters. I take a lot of time planning everything out, editing, and making sure that the storyline runs together smoothly. If you try to rush me, believe me, you won't be happy with my updates. If I'm taking so long to update, that you begin to forget what's happened last, then go back and reread my last chapter. It's still there for a reason. Also, I will not write the story, based upon what you think should happen. I don't mind hearing your theories of what may or may not happen in the story, but don't rudely order me to write a scene, just for you. My story is on a very specific path. Everything in my story happens for a reason. For those who have not bothered me over such things, don't fret. It's not your fault. But for those who have, you know who you are. And the more you attempt to pressure me, the longer I'll take to update, due to writer's block. And yes, this issue was just one of many things that caused the delay for my chapter.
For those who didn't pressure me to update, I'm sorry that you had to wait such an awfully long time for me to update. This month was outrageously busy for me. Studying for finals, writing a 14 page essay, Christmas gifts (I hand made several, which took several DAYS to do, one. At. A. Time), attending several family parties, AND writing scene after scene in my story. Most of which ended up being future chapters, instead. Well, I guess I got a good start on those. I don't want to keep this author's note too busy, so I guess I'll get on with the chapter! And no, unfortunately, there are no songs for this chapter, as well. :(
Enjoy!
. . .
I found myself wrapped within the arms of my beloved parents. It was odd how even after all of these years I had spent away from my childhood home, only to visit every once in a while, I found myself submerged in old memories. An air, that only my old home possessed, caused me to think back upon all of the years I spent, growing up between the walls of this humble building. The years I spent with my parents. Home offered an extraordinary welcoming greeting, that nothing else could. My heart recognized an old comforting sensation upon walking through a familiar front door. And the moment I arrived there, I realized just how much my heart had yearned to be surrounded by the very place that I grew up in. To see the faces of my parents who raised me; the very first faces my eyes had ever been exposed to.
I longed to sink within the many memories my home possessed; wishing to relive those blissful years. The simple, yet cheerful childhood I experienced. Life had been so incredibly easy for me back then. Sometimes, I found self feeling rather jealous of my younger self. Back then, I didn't have to fret over the adult life. While visiting with my parents, it was easy to pretend that I still lived here, and that everything was still normal. Back before strange music began to play in my head. Back before I ever saw strange glowing eyes in the mirror, staring back at me, and only me. Back before I ever began to question my own wavering sanity.
My attempt to block reality from my mind didn't last long, for my parents desired to know what was new in my life. I didn't blame them for being curious. If I were a parent, I would be eager to know as well. Though I still couldn't help but to wish that they didn't have to ask, either.
"How are your grades?" My dad questioned. He had always been the very first one to ask that particular question.
"Fine." I reassured, which was true. "I have a 3.0 GPA still." My dad nodded, looking satisfied by my answer. My grade hadn't changed by much in years. I always had fairly good grades, even when I was in high school. However after the car accident, and suffering from sleep deprivation due to endless nightmares, I struggled with grades. It was odd how in high school, keeping an average grade wasn't a struggle. Though now, I had to work hard to keep up, due to something that had happened years ago. Many would think that such an incident wouldn't bother me by now. I had always done a good job at trying to avoid thinking about it throughout the day, but that didn't mean that it wouldn't slip into my dreams, or when my mind was vulnerable to haunting memories. Though even then, the dreams were finally beginning to leave me alone. However, with the strange hallucinations that were only beginning to occur in my life, I wondered if the damage had already been done. Had my mind already been infected with insanity; was there a way to escape it? Or was I simply fretting over nothing?
I still recalled the day I became a prisoner in my own apartment. When I couldn't evade from the invisible force that kept me from running from the room. When the familiar, disembodied voice spoke to me. That had to be the work of a demon, or my own inner demons. Perhaps I was schizophrenic. Voices, other strange hallucinations were just one of many symptoms of schizophrenia. The very idea of being schizophrenic sickened me beyond words.
Perhaps that strange thing that happened at the apartment was merely a dream, and you've been too tired to realize it. I tried to tell myself. I knew that that was a possibility. I could've easily blended both dreams and reality together in my mind, without telling a difference. The only thing that kept me from fully believing this, was the very fact that I had been getting much better rest as of recently. Surely, I would've thought more logically when awake, and been able to tell the distinct difference between such things. All I could do, was watch out for more warning signs; wait and see if such strange events would re-occur. Though with that thought that was pushed to the back of my mind, where it would remain, my stomach churned in uneasiness. Deep down, I knew that I had been waiting far too long already. Though that didn't mean that I wouldn't try to block it from my mind for now.
"Clare!" My mom exclaimed, cheerfully, yanking me away from my somber thoughts. "You look wonderful!" A bashful smile traced my lips, reassured that perhaps sleeping more truly had an advantage already, however, I also knew that it was in my mother's nature to always sweetly compliment others. It wasn't uncommon for parents to always think that their children were beautiful. Although, I began to accept that perhaps I looked decent enough if Erik was willing to go on a date with me. I was just glad that I hadn't had dark circles beneath my eyes in a long time.
Before I could thank my mother for her compliment, or acknowledge my fondness in the pretty violet shirt she was wearing, she cut my thoughts off once she grasped my face with both of her cold hands. "And you look so rested!" She gasped in awe. "Have you finally been getting good sleep?"
I nodded once she released my face. "Yes; the nightmares have finally been occurring less and less."
"That's great! Maybe with extra sleep, you'll be able to focus more in class - maybe you'll even make the dean's list. I know you've been struggling with these dreadful nightmares for at least six years now."
"I think it's been seven." My dad corrected. My mom looked at me with sympathetic green eyes.
"You poor thing." She cooed. "You haven't gotten a good night's rest since high school." Sad to say, it was true. I found myself nodding in agreement after calculating the years in my mind.
"That sounds about right." I admitted, feeling rather ashamed about it, even though I knew that it wasn't my fault. Dreams were not within my control, after all. I wasn't a lucid dreamer.
My mom hugged me again tightly, looking as if she wished that it would erase my seven years of restless nights; and the memory of the dreadful car accident. . .The bits that I could remember vividly, anyways. She was known for her compassionate nature. Other family members claimed that I was similar to my mother, however, I always thought that she always knew the right things to say. I didn't always. She was also a little more social than me. I was more of an introvert; just like my father.
Once my mom pulled away from the hug, she grasped my shoulders tightly, with a warm smile on her face. I felt the dark emotions that plagued my heart, haunted my mind, and torment the pit of my stomach, drift away due to her heartfelt personality. "Would you like some tea? I made some earlier."
I smiled and nodded. "Please."
Her lips stretched across her face again in a loving smile before she spun on her heel, her dark chocolatey brown hair tossing over her shoulder, as she whisked off into the kitchen. I sank to the cold, smooth leather love seat. I nearly shivered, despite the fact that my parents kept the house at a cozy temperature. My dad took his spot on a nearby leather chair, where he always sat when there was company. My old home was very contemporary, yet it hadn't changed very much since I left. In a way, I enjoyed it like that; everything would always feel normal while here; it was perfect that way. The only major difference that had been made here, was the alteration of my old bedroom. It was no longer a typical teenage girl's room; it was an office.
I wasn't stubborn enough to hold a grudge against them for that. After all, I had decided to get an apartment with my friends, where it was closer to my college, by at least an hour. It made no sense for my parents to keep the room as mine. They always kept an air mattress in the closet, incase if an emergency occurred, and I needed to stay with them. But it was my responsibility to move on in life, and adjust to living away form them. It was inevitable. Besides, I had already adapted to the adult life. . .For the most part.
My mom came back with two cups of hot tea. I was one to usually prefer coffee over tea, but here in my old home, I always chose tea instead for nostalgic reasons. "Thank you." I acknowledged, taking the steaming cup she handed me.
She sat down beside me with her cup of tea. "You're welcome, sweetie."
I gently blew against the surface of the carmel colored liquid, causing the steam to dissipate briefly, before it unavoidably emerged into the air again, seeping from the tea. After willing to cool it off, I took a small sip, testing it's temperature. The heat was tolerable. I deeply admired it's sweet taste, that had a slight bitter undertone mixed into it. I was about to take another sip when I noticed my dad's rather disgusted expression.
"What's wrong?" I questioned, playfully raising an eyebrow. "Don't like tea?" I teased, already knowing the answer.
"No," He chuckled, shaking his head a little and causing his short, thick red hair to shudder as he did so. "You know me. I would take coffee over it any day. . .Or a coke." He then rose from his seat. "In fact, I think I'll get one now."
"You do that." I said lightheartedly, as he left for the kitchen.
As soon as my dad had left the room, my mother gently placed her cup on top of the coffee table. "So, tell me," She said, turning towards me. "have you met any cute boys?" I quickly pieced together that she had been patiently waiting for my dad to leave to ask that particular question. The thought of Erik entered my mind, and I felt the blood rise to my cheeks, and I knew that it was too late to hide it behind my cup that I had raised to my lips. My lips tugged up into a bashful smirk; deceiving me. I knew it was too late to hide it once she grinned knowingly.
"Well I know that look!" She giggled. "What's his name?"
"Erik."
"Erik. . ." She echoed, fondly. "Tell me about him."
Where do I begin?
"Erik? Who's Erik?" My dad questioned once he returned, with a Coca-Cola in his hand. My mom was trying not to look overly amused for being caught, as my dad reclaimed his spot on the chair. My mother exchanged a look with me that said; You're in for it now, as she grabbed her cup and sat back in her spot, sipping her tea. I knew that she expected me to explain who Erik was to my dad.
My father had a tendency to act bitter towards the idea of me dating. He always had been. When my mom first explained it to me, she told me that my dad simply didn't want me to grow up. He had always longed for me to remain as a sweet, optimistic six year old child. Of course being told this as a teenager, I felt rather guilty; as if my inevitable aging was somehow my fault; as if me growing up was deteriorating his happy life.
My mother had laughed at my childish concern, and reassured me that that was not the case. Though even now, I, deep down inside, couldn't help but to feel shame for having to move out and go to college; for being interested in dating; for growing up. However, time never ceases, after all. It relentlessly moves forward, never feeling mercy for all yearning individuals. Everyone simply had to cope with the years that fleeted by, and accept that before they knew it, they would be old and frail. I knew - I always knew that I had no control over growing up. Though my heart would never cease feeling pity for my poor father.
My dad gazed at me from his chair, expecting an explanation. "Erik is a boy from my college." I explained. "We're going on a date this Sunday."
"Ooh, and you have a date rearranged, too!" My mom cried, sounding utterly giddy. "This is great! Say it's great, Matthew!"
"It's great." His voice sounded rather dry, but he looked at me with a weak smile on his face. I could tell, that as much as he wished I wasn't old enough to date (Hell, even old enough to drink - for at least a couple of years now), he was still happy for me. My parents knew that I had been struggling with finding a decent guy; or at least someone who clicked with me.
"I was going to tell mom what a nice guy he is." I explained. "He's such a gentleman."
My dad nodded slowly. "That's good to hear."
"So what does he look like?" She asked, sounding eager to know.
The mask. My mind whispered, uneasily. What would they think of it? I knew that they wouldn't understand. I wondered if it was best to inform them about his curious concealment now, or not mention it at all.
If your dates with Erik excel into a relationship, then surely, they would meet him in person eventually. My mind reminded me. Do you really want to risk them finding out about his mask then, or prepare them for it now?
"Well, he's very tall. I'm guessing at least six foot." I began, qualm filling the bottom of my stomach, while I mentally debated over how to handle this situation. "He has neat, slicked back dark hair, ivory skin, and the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen."
"Ooh," My mother cooed. "he sounds handsome!"
"He is." I blushed a little, though I was still trying to make up my mind over whether or not it was best to tell my parents about Erik's mask.
Don't. My mind whispered. That is a stupid idea. You know they would never understand. Get to know him first before introducing him to your parents. I pressed my lips in a straight line, as if to keep my thoughts to myself. My mind was made up then, and I was grateful that I hadn't followed through with telling them. It was best to not inform my parents about his mask - not yet. Besides, it was just a date; Erik and I were not serious. Perhaps one day we would be, but only time would tell.
"So what else is he like? Do you two share any interests?" My mom asked.
"I'm not quite sure yet." I admitted. "I was planning to find out more about him over dinner."
My father then jumped into the conversation again, after taking a swig of his Coca-Cola. "Where are you having dinner?"
"La Shay's."
"Hmm. . ." He mused, sipping his drink again. "We haven't been there before."
"We should go there sometime, honey!" My mom suggested to my dad, in an upbeat manner. "It would be fun!"
"We can go there if you want." He agreed. "I've been interested in trying their food." His lips curved up when he saw her smile lovingly at him. I hoped that one day, I would have a great relationship with someone; a similar relationship as the one my parents had. Rarely did they ever fight like how most parents did. It was quite sad how many marriages were eventually ruined. I often feared, that if I ever fell madly in love with someone, that they would be the very one who would eventually bring misery upon my life. I almost couldn't fathom how such strong bonds could be torn down. Unless if they truly weren't strong to begin with.
"Well, I'm so happy for you!" My mom beamed happily. "You'll have to tell us all about him after your date!"
"I will." I promised. "I'm looking forward to it."
I brought the cup to my lips, tasting the delicious tea. The dying steam gently brushed my nose. As I sat there, relishing the time I spent with my parents, and looking back upon my childhood fondly, a thought rose in my mind. I vaguely recalled watching the Phantom of the Opera back before I was ever involved in that dreadful car accident. I hadn't touched the movie since. It had been long enough, that I couldn't collect many scenes from the movie in my head. It was odd how so much information of the story had disappeared from my mind, after neglecting it just long enough - even though I used to watch it frequently. I was positive that the movie was not at my apartment - I had already checked.
"Mom, dad," I said, gaining their attention as I placed my cup back down on the coffee table. "Do you still have my Phantom of the Opera movie here?"
. . .
Ahh, it looks like she's planning to watch the movie! That is, if her parents even HAVE the movie. What do you think will happen next? And what did you all think of Clare's parents? Like them? Hate them? Is it a good idea for Clare to go on this upcoming date? You'll find out soon! And yes, I'll probably update much sooner than I did last time.
Thank you for reading! Review and tell me what you thought of the chapter (as long as it's nice)! And if you have not checked it out yet, don't forget to look at Drowning Series on face book!