Kurt was in a sour mood on Thursday, a sentiment that was apparently shared by the rest of the school. Wes was continuing to be a tyrant about Regionals, going so far as to criticize the diets of some Warblers, and nothing David could do reigned his boyfriend in, which put David in a foul mood as well. Blaine hadn't so much as looked at him, Chris had apparently taken Kurt's advice about watching March Madness but the team he had chosen to bet on had lost, Charlie was still dealing with Lucas… everyone in the school was either bitter or angry, and Thursday was lousy because of it.
Warbler's rehearsal was tomorrow, and they were way past the point of going to bed angry, but the one attempt Kurt had made to talk to Blaine had been foiled by the person he was angriest at: Rachel. When Kurt had stopped by Blaine's dorm to talk to him, Blaine had been on the phone with her, laughing about something. She was on speakerphone, and judging by the slight slur of her voice, she still hadn't given up her most recent vice: alcohol. Rachel and alcohol were a terrible combination, but Rachel and Blaine as a couple were even worse.
Still, Kurt had to admit that he could see the connection. They were very similar, Blaine and Rachel, and they obviously got along well, Rachel telling Blaine about an interesting Glee rehearsal throughout which the New Directions had tortured a hungover Mr. Schuester. Rachel and Blaine bounced off songs for Regionals, though Kurt could easily tell that none of the songs mentioned would ever be used by either show choir, and they were simply testing each others' musical knowledge.
Kurt had no idea how long he had stood outside Blaine's door after classes, listening to them talk and ignoring the curious glances from everyone who walked by, including a tyrannical Wes and moody David. The thought that Blaine and Rachel could actually have a relationship, a long one, was what finally drove Kurt away from his eavesdropping spot. There were short jokes and musical trivia and Love Story quotes, and Kurt didn't want to think anymore about what all of those things meant. Maybe he should call Rachel, and figure out when their bet was going down. He couldn't wait to serve her that slice of humble pie.
To: Rachel
'I don't suppose you're backing out on our bet, are you?'
From: Rachel
'Never. I just need a time to do it. We had the most lovely conversation today…'
To: Rachel
'So I heard. What about tomorrow?'
From: Rachel
'I thought you and Blaine weren't talking? That's what Blainers said. And tomorrow? So soon?'
To: Rachel
'"Blainers?" Really? You should like Charlie. And yes, tomorrow, why not? Too afraid to kiss him without alcohol in his system?'
From: Rachel
'Considering how much Blaine loves Charlie, I don't see why that's a bad thing. And fine, tomorrow.'
To: Rachel
'You're obviously not around whenever he threatens Charlie's life, which is fairly often. We have Warblers practice tomorrow, so Blaine will be at the Lima Bean after. Three thirty, don't be late.'
From: Rachel
'You obviously have forgotten how much everyone in the New Directions threatens my life, even though they love me. And I won't be late! I'll prove to you that we have chemistry…'
To: Rachel
'Sure, Rachel.'
That response tied up pretty much everything, and the bet was on.
When Kurt got out of the shower on the big day, Friday, he found Chris teaching Pavarotti the whistling from The Lazy Song. "I see you've finally warmed up to my bird," Kurt said with a grin as he straightened his own tie and then checked on Chris'.
"He's a cool dude," Chris said with a grin, sticking a finger through the cage (something he had been afraid to do before), "though I don't think he likes my singing."
"I can't say I blame him," Kurt said, whistling to Pav himself and receiving a cheery answer.
"You're in a good mood."
"While it terrifies me that you say that, because whenever you acknowledge my happiness it quickly goes south, yes, I am in a good mood. By the end of today, everything will have been resolved."
"Between you and Blaine?"
"Yes."
"How?"
"Rachel's going to kiss him. Blaine will figure out that he's gay, and everything will be right in the world again."
"While I'm totally with you on the whole 'Blaine's gay' thing, it can't end there, dude."
"You couldn't remind me any more of Finn if you tried," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes. "I will start waking you every day with a bath of cold water if you ever call me 'dude' again." Chris' eyes widened, and he nodded rapidly. "Why can't it end there?"
Chris stared at Kurt for a few seconds in confusion before saying slowly, "That doesn't solve anything."
"It solves everything," Kurt argued. "Whatever's happening between Blaine and Rachel stops, I get both of my best friends back, and Blaine stops denying his sexuality."
"Kurt, he compared you to Karofsky and accused you of being biphobic. I mean, I don't want you to be mad at him, but he did, and he told the whole school about some girl named 'Bethany.'"
"Brittany," the countertenor corrected, "and I don't care about that." Kurt dismissed the incident only because he wasn't embarrassed. Blaine hadn't told the actual story, he had only mentioned that he had dated Brittany. If Pink Houses or flannel had been included, Blaine would be dead already.
"And like I said, I'm on your side, but you kind of were an asshole to him. Shouldn't you two talk it out?"
"Do roommates always act as consciences?" Kurt asked dryly as he grabbed his messenger bag, headed for breakfast, "Because if they do, I think we should really get Charlie one."
Wes was still being rather tyrannical during lunch, but Kurt had to face him anyway, because he had been the one who imposed the rules before realizing he couldn't follow them. How the hell was he supposed to beat Blaine to the Lima Bean after rehearsal? Three thirty sharp was exactly when the rehearsal ended, which meant that in order to meet Rachel on time, he would have to ask for a favor. And this wasn't even the kind of favor he could just slide in through David. He actually had to talk to the despot himself.
"Wes, can I talk to you?" Kurt asked during lunch, approaching where the council was sitting at the head of the Warblers' tables. Kurt wasn't exactly sure how to differentiate the head of a round table, but it was obvious to everyone.
Wes turned from his critique of Thad's diet to look at Kurt, giving him a strangely clinical up-and-down. "You need to eat more," was Wes' comment. Kurt took that as a yes, even though it didn't very much sound like one.
"I was wondering if I could leave rehearsal a little early today." Kurt decided to be direct, hoping Wes would respect his respect for Wes' valuable time. Or something like that which made sense only in Wes' mind. Kurt decided to ignore David's laughter.
"Why?" Wes asked, instead of yelling at him, which was at least a good sign.
"I'm sure you've heard about-"
"No, no he hasn't," David interrupted Kurt. "He and Blaine had a fight." Wes waited, patiently, for the rest of the explanation. "That's all I know."
"We had a fight about Rachel, which is a long story, but the bottom line is that I need to meet Rachel at the Lima Bean before Blaine gets there, which means I have to beat Blaine out of rehearsal by at least fifteen minutes."
Kurt wasn't sure if it was the desperation on his face or how annoyed David seemed to be with his significant other, but Wes showed mercy for the first time during the week. "Fine. You may leave at three fifteen." And with that, he went back to supervising the Warblers' carbohydrate intake, or whatever he had been doing before.
Griffin had stopped with the ring of hockey players during classes, but Kurt was still avoiding Blaine. He wasn't ready to face his best friend yet. Unfortunately, he had to acknowledge the truth in Chris' statement. Blaine and he had been cruel to each other, hopefully both out of anger and both remorseful, but Kurt could only speak for himself. Still, he needed to talk to Blaine about what had happened, because he didn't really want to hurt Blaine.
Kurt mentally braced himself for the afternoon as he walked to rehearsal, not taking the shortcut he had been using since his first day, preferring to keep in the company of Michael and Thad and avoid running into Blaine. Luckily, he had already done the most terrifying part.
Kurt took a seat in one of the arm chairs when he got to rehearsal, Michael sitting at one of the empty chess tables and avoiding Jeff and Nick, who weren't actually taking up a whole couch, considering they were lap-sitting, but rather making people not want to sit next to them through sheer impropriety. Thad went up towards the council, where Blaine had taken his seat, talking to Wes, who had a stack of papers in his hand that Kurt was willing to guess was sheet music. They had been talking about Regionals for a few weeks, maybe the council had finally made a decision.
"Sit down, Blaine," Wes said finally once enough of the Warblers had gathered for rehearsal to begin, banging his gavel impatiently and provoking a few jokes about whether he pounded David that hard. "Very funny, Kendrick," he practically growled, and apparently he had heard that. "David, pass these out," he said impatiently to his boyfriend, who obeyed with a roll of his eyes.
"Guess that answers that question," Michael muttered, making Kendrick laugh and offer him a fist bump.
"Ke$ha?" Blaine was the first one to ask. "What, have you been talking to the New Directions?"
"Have you?" Wes asked in surprise, and then everyone started snickering. "Silent," Wes demanded, banging his gavel again.
"One in particular," Blaine muttered, and Kurt's stomach turned at the lovesick smile that appeared on his face. Blaine was adorable when he was besotted, but Kurt was getting really tired of it.
"Well, yes, I have. Also one in particular, Miss Lopez, and she informed me, accidentally in a conversation about her lover, Miss Pierce-"
"Wait, Kurt, you stole her from Santana?" Kendrick asked with a grin. "Naughty." Kurt sighed, because he had been expecting that to pop up in the conversation at some point.
"I don't even want to know," Wes said, banging his gavel for the third time in as many minutes. "Anyway, Miss Lopez informed me that they were performing Tik Tok at an assembly today." Kurt mentally groaned, because assemblies where the New Directions performed never went well (he couldn't help but think of the Britney incident), and singing Tik Tok for Alcohol Awareness Week had the potential to be the worst yet. "So, I found a suitable counterpart for the Warblers."
"C'Mon?" Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow. "Wasn't this popular for like… a week?"
"Blaine, if you don't want to sing it, we will happily give it to someone else. I'm sure your perpetually tipsy romantic interest would be very disappointed in you." That caused a few giggles, which had surely been David's intention.
"'Romantic interest?'" Blaine asked with a raised eyebrow. "Are we Sims now?"
"I've kept that family alive for generations!" David objected, Wes hiding his smile behind a hand, and there would always be things Kurt didn't understand about the Warblers. He had no idea how Blaine had gotten so informed so fast.
"Kendrick, the bridge will be the most difficult part for you, considering the range of the notes," David said as he handed the beat-boxer his sheet music.
"I'm sure Kurt can help me out," Kendrick said with a grin, and Wes mused on it for a second before nodding, looking upwards like he was having a Scrubs fantasy moment.
"Sounds perfect, actually. Blaine, would you like the lead?"
"Happily, Cap'n." Oh, damn, that was cute. Perhaps a touch nonsensical, but so cute.
"Jeff, Nick, Trent, and Michael, you may start, with line four." Kurt got his own sheet music just as they figured out their first note, and wow, only Wes could make a catchy Ke$ha song so complicated. "Charlie, I will pretend I didn't see you," the tyrant said coolly as Charlie slipped in, late as always.
"Technically, I'm honorary," Charlie said with a grin as he shamelessly sat down on the couch with Jeff and Nick, which wasn't even the last seat in the room. "I should have a special, honored arrival time, marked in the minutes by David as 'whenever the hell the honorary Warbler feels like showing up.'"
"Right," Wes said tolerantly, and Kurt had always wondered how exactly Wes resisted the urge to strangle him. "Nice hair," he added before starting to assign various Warblers different lines.
"I thought it was time for a change." No touch of the vulnerability Charlie had been showing for the last few days was visible in his flippant comment.
Kendrick hopped into the armchair next to Kurt's and showed him what he had been talking about, in terms of the accompaniment, and that was high even for Kurt, but he was sure he could manage it. David had made a good call, countertenors were very helpful for a cappella songs.
"Line four, go," Wes said calmly, and the Warblers he had picked out for that line began.
Ahhh, Ahhhh-h-h, Ahh-h-h-h-h-h, Ahhh-h-h-h-h-h-h
Saw you leaning against that old record machine
Saw the name of your band written on the marquee
It's a full moon tonight so we getting rowdy
Yeah, we getting rowdy, g-g-getting rowdy
Wes had been right about the song, the unique background made it the perfect mix of a cappella music and the pop music the Warblers enjoyed so much, even if Blaine wasn't such a good rapper. And sitting next to Kendrick was interesting, he could do such amazing things with his voice.
Feeling like I'm a high schooler
Sipping on a warm wine cooler
Hot 'cause the party don't stop
I'm in a crop top
Like I'm working at Hooter's
We been keeping it PG
But I wanna get a little frisky
Come gimme some of that yum like a lollipop
Let me set you free
Kurt tried not to see the similarities between the verse and the week (ignoring the weird part about crop tops and Hooter's that should never be sung by a male), because frankly Wes had absolutely no idea what was going on with Blaine and him and hadn't chosen the song purposefully... Well, he never knew with Wes. It was a toss-up whether Wes was paying attention to the rest of the world or just the Warblers' business, and the closer they got to Regionals, the less Wes cared about real life.
C'mon 'cause I know what I like
And you're looking just like my type
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Now, don't even try to deny
We're both going home satisfied
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Write our names on the wall in the back of the bar
Steal some bubblegum from the corner Maxi-Mart
Yeah, we laughing like kids, causing trouble in the dark
Causing trouble in the dark, t-t-trouble in the dark
Feeling like a saber-toothed tiger
Sipping on a warm Budweiser
Touch me and give me that rush
Better pack a toothbrush
Gonna pull an all-nighter
We been keeping it kosher
But I wanna get it on for sure
Come gimme some of that yum like a lollipop
Baby, don't be scared
C'mon 'cause I know what I like
And you're looking just like my type
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Now, don't even try to deny
We're both going home satisfied
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
I don't wanna go to sleep
I wanna stay up all night
I wanna just screw around
I don't wanna think about
What's gonna be after this
I wanna just live right now
Doing Kendrick's job was not easy, the notes were high and faded strangely (electronically, which made sense for the song but was very hard to reproduce vocally). The good news was that, as good as the song sounded, Wes was frowning. Apparently, it was not Regionals material.
I don't wanna go to sleep
I wanna stay up all night
I wanna just screw around
I don't wanna think about
What's gonna be after this
I wanna just live right now
(C'mon)
C'mon 'cause I know what I like
And you're looking just like my type
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Now, don't even try to deny
We're both going home satisfied
Let's go for it, just for tonight
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon
The Warblers looked pretty pleased with themselves when the song ended, Kendrick giving Kurt a rather rough clap on the back, but Wes was still frowning. "No, no, no, it's all wrong. The harmonies are fantastic, the song choice excellent, but the combination… dismal." That sentence had to be another one of those things that only made sense in Wes' head. "We have little time before Regionals, there can't be this disconnect. The number one thing we should decide on is not arrangement, or even songs, but length of the performance. The New Directions performed two songs at Sectionals, we only performed one. Even though our numbers involve more intricate planning, we have been working as a unit for several years with very little in the way of addition." Kurt didn't take that personally. "We should be able to plan numbers with ease, and thus we should expand the length of our performances. All in favor?"
The vote was nearly unanimous, so Wes banged his gavel and David scribbled down the quick tally in his little book of 'minutes,' which he was supposed to have read at the beginning of the rehearsal. Apparently, Wes had made so many rules for himself, he was starting to slip. "Now the question is two or three songs. All of two…"
The Warblers had almost finished deciding on all the details of Regionals that weren't song choice (thankfully they didn't have to argue over wardrobe, or they'd never get anything done. After witnessing an hour of Warbler democracy, Kurt could understand why Wes acted like a dictator at times. He was much more efficient), when David, Wes' personal time clock, gestured abstractly to Kurt. When Kurt raised an eyebrow, Wes impatiently said, "Kurt, it's three fifteen. You are dismissed." Kurt nodded to the council as he stood up, ignoring the whisper from fellow Warblers and heading out of rehearsal hall, trying to remember the most efficient route to the parking lot. He had been at Dalton for months, but he still had a little trouble navigating when his mind was elsewhere. He shoved the sheet music for C'Mon in his messenger bag absentmindedly, since David had never collected it after Wes scrapped the song.
Rachel was waiting for him at the Lima Bean, and Kurt chose not to comment on her outfit. Red sweater, black-and-red skirt, and black stockings with black flats, it wasn't the worst thing she had ever worn. Though the red coat with fur edging was a little excessive, both for the red and for the temperature in early March. "Hello, darling," Rachel said with a smile, giving him a hug as he joined her in line.
"Hello, Rach," he said, allowing himself to be hugged and then insisting on paying for both coffees. It was the least he could do when she was about to get her heart broken.
"So, you said he comes this way at three thirty," Rachel began as they sat down at their table.
"Like clockwork, for his post-rehearsal medium drip," Kurt relied, clutching his own coffee with both hands and trying not to get nervous. There was no way Rachel and Blaine had chemistry.
"I just can't wait to lay one on him," Rachel said, far too excitedly considering she was talking to someone who also had feelings for Blaine, and Kurt knew from experience that gay men did not like kissing girls with lipgloss on. It was sticky and strange.
"I've got a bad feeling about this, Rachel." In every way. "I mean, I don't mean to be a scold, but I don't want you to get hurt either. There's no victory in this for me either way." He loved Rachel, despite her attitudes about… well, everything, and she was finally happy again after Finn, something he was actively trying to take away from her. Maybe he didn't have the right to call her a bad friend.
"Who cares about you, buddy?" Okay, maybe there would be a little bit of victory in this for him. "I may get a new boyfriend out of this who can keep up with me vocally and, in the future, give me vaguely Eurasian-looking children."
Before Kurt could comment on the likelihood of Blaine ever giving Rachel children, the man in question walked through the door. "There he is, dreamy as ever."
"Okay. Wish me luck," Rachel said with a smile, and she looked so excited. Kurt's stomach was in knots.
Rachel strode right up to Blaine in line with confidence, and Kurt could only see her back but he was sure she was smiling all the way. "Hey, Rachel. What's going on? We-" Blaine managed to say, and he looked genuinely happy to see her. Maybe there really wouldn't be any victory in this for Kurt. He was ending both of his friends' happiness by… by what, pushing them to be honest about what was going on?
He needed to stop overthinking it. Luckily, Rachel didn't give him the chance to do anything stupid, like object, kissing Blaine square on the mouth with no build-up, grabbing his shoulders. Kurt took a sip of his untouched coffee as he waited, acknowledging that he had absolutely no control over the outcome of the action.
Rachel was the one who pulled away, and Blaine looked kind of awestruck. Kurt took a deep breath. "Huh." Blaine was nodding. "Yup. I'm gay." Kurt held in a sigh of relief and a smile. "One hundred percent gay. Thank you so much for clearing that up for me, Rachel." Kurt couldn't see his best friend's expression, but he was sure it was devastated. Only Blaine could make breaking someone's heart sound so positive. "Listen, save my space in line, will you? I gotta go hit the restroom." Rachel just stood there, not saying anything as Blaine left. As soon as Blaine turned his back, Kurt stood up to talk to Rachel.
"That was hard, wasn't it?" Kurt asked.
"Are you kidding?" Rachel looked similarly awestruck, and everyone's facial expressions were being very misleading today. "That was amazing. I am speechless." What? Had she not gotten the message? Or was Blaine just a phenomenal kisser? "I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay. That is songwriting gold! Oh!" Rachel grabbed Kurt and kissed him on the cheek. "Okay. I have to go compose, but thank you. Thank you!" she squeaked as she walked out, and… what just happened?
"Talk to you later," he called out just before Rachel left, and she turned and waved at him again before rushing off. "And that is why I love her, I guess."
"Oh, hey," Blaine said awkwardly as he returned from the restroom, and shoot. "I… Rachel just…"
"I was here," was the stupidest thing Kurt could have said at the time, so of course he said it.
"Oh, so you…" Blaine didn't finish the question, but he obviously expected an answer.
"Technically, it was her idea."
"I see," Blaine said slowly. "We… we should talk. Do you want…"
"I already have coffee," Kurt replied, gesturing to the table he and Rachel had abandoned, which still had two coffees sitting on it.
"Oh. So this is why…"
"Yes."
"Okay. I'll grab my coffee and we… we can talk." Kurt nodded, mentally groaning at the awkwardness between them which had come back at full force. He threw out Rachel's coffee (she was in such a songwriting frenzy Kurt was sure she wouldn't come back for it… and why was she writing songs anyway? a new facet of the old crazy?), and then sat back down at the table, waiting for Blaine.
Blaine got his coffee and sat down just as Kurt was finishing up his own. Blaine took a sip, but neither of them knew how to start the conversation and silence descended over the table, the awkwardness tangible even in the loud coffee shop. "I'm sorry," Blaine finally said, and so it began.
"So am I," Kurt said with a sigh. "I know what happened with Rachel was… confusing, for you, but you have to understand how frustrating it is for me."
"How frustrating what is?" Blaine asked, and apparently they were being frank in this conversation.
"You," Kurt answered. "You, all the time. You're frustrating and confusing and maddening and… I didn't think it could get any worse until you did something like this. And with Rachel, of all people."
"Why does that bother you? She's one of your best friends!" Blaine objected, and okay, they both needed to cool down a little.
Kurt took a deep breath. "As you know, Rachel and I haven't always been friends. But more than that, Rachel is the person I compete with for everything, solos, attention, and especially boys. After the first time you two met at Sectionals, I gloated to her on the phone that you would never be interested in her, the one person with whom there was no contest."
"I'm not your property, Kurt." Blaine managed to say something very passionate in a very calm voice. "I know you're my connection to Rachel and the New Directions, and we're very close, unusually close, but I'm not your property, or your play-thing, and I can't just be around to be the foundation for your self-esteem and your pride."
"I know that," Kurt said, even though he also knew that was exactly what he had been doing with Blaine, placing all his pride on the fact that Blaine liked him more than anyone else, "and I'm sorry, but you have to understand that it hurts to hear Rachel talk about dating you and singing with you and the mildly-Eurasian children you'll have together!"
The conversation paused for a moment as Blaine seemed to process that. "I'm not even going to ask."
"You probably shouldn't," Kurt murmured, because he hadn't intended to slip that into their conversation.
"Kurt, you're my best friend, and I love you, and I will do anything to support you and help you and make you feel better, and I hope you knew all of that, but the fact of the matter is that it has to be a two-way street. I know you couldn't understand, but I was struggling, and I needed you to be there." Blaine sighed. "Look, I lashed out, during our first conversation-"
"And so did I," Kurt admitted.
"And I shouldn't have dragged Karofsky into this, but I was just trying to hurt you. And I don't want to hurt you, Kurt! I don't, but you hurt me too, and you know that." Kurt didn't say anything, because there were only so many variations of confirmations. "I told you, right after we first met, when you told me that story about Brittany, that I wasn't going to look down on your for dating a girl once. Those exact words, Kurt, but you did exactly that to me, even if you were more bothered by the particular girl I chose."
"I… I don't know what you want me to say, Blaine," Kurt said finally, trying to process Blaine's series of speeches. "Do you expect me to justify what I said to you? Because I can't, and I'm sorry that everything got out of hand and that I got angry and 'lashed out,' like you said, but…" Kurt had so many things he wanted to say, things he wanted to put out in the open, but that he couldn't, not without damaging what he was trying to rebuild. "I'm sorry, Blaine. I'm really sorry."
"That's all you have to say?" Blaine asked softly, and Kurt was willing to bet his best friend knew he had so many things he wanted to say.
"Yes, that's all I have to say."
For some reason, Blaine started chuckling. Before Kurt could ask why, the tenor explained himself, "We are a terrible couple. I mean, absolutely awful. We just… we can't seem to stop hurting each other! You've hurt me, and I know I hurt you more than you're wiling to admit." Kurt didn't say anything. "God, what is wrong with us?"
"We can't seem to stop… stumbling into land mines," Kurt said, because that was the best explanation he could come up with. Blaine had a point, even if he didn't want to think too hard on that fact.
"I'm sorry, Kurt. I really am. I shouldn't have accused you of being biphobic and I shouldn't have brought Karofsky into this. I just… we're too good at hurting each other, we just know too much."
"I'm sorry, too," Kurt said honestly, even though nothing really felt resolved. "I'm sorry that I was so unsupportive of your confusion about Rachel."
"And I'm sorry I hurt you." Blaine left the comment completely open-ended. "Can I ask you something, though?"
"Of course."
"Do you really think that being bisexual is just a way guys in high school creep back into the closet, beard in hand?"
"I think you're using too many metaphors," Kurt said, making Blaine smile, "and… I don't know. I mean, yes, there was a point in my life when I thought bisexual was just being too afraid to admit one's sexuality one way or another, but then I think about David and… there are obviously other people like him, people that are conflicted in that way and try to hide in their straightness, so… maybe it's really the opposite? I don't know, Blaine, I don't really understand it."
"I kind of got that," Blaine said with a chuckle, and then winced when Kurt kicked him under the table. "I deserved that."
"You did."
"Maybe you should talk to David about it. I'm sure he would be better at explaining it to you, considering he's actually bisexual."
"At least you're admitting that you're not."
"Shut up. Another coffee? We can talk about that terrible number."
"Yes, please."
Kurt and Blaine spent a while talking at the coffee shop, and while Kurt felt better about what had happened at the beginning of the week, he still wasn't sure that anything was really resolved. Maybe things would never be resolved. They had dinner at the Warbler table, and everyone seemed relieved that they were talking again.
Blaine walked Kurt to his dorm after dinner and gave him a hug that was maybe a little too tight and a little too long to be casual, but Kurt didn't ask and Blaine didn't offer. So Kurt shut his door on his best friend and sighed, leaning against it.
"The great Klaine wars are over?" Chris asked. "Wes will be pleased."
"Why will Wes be pleased?"
"Because now he can hang up the banner. Before, it would have just made things awkward."
"I'm not even going to ask." Kurt sighed and leaned a little heavier against the door, just thinking through his conversation with Blaine. "Do you think there's such a thing as truly bisexual? Being equally attracted to both men and women?"
"Isn't that kind of a given? I mean, it's the 'B' in your precious LGBT," Chris teased.
"Just answer the question, Barbon."
"Shouldn't you talk to David about this kind of thing?" Chris asked, and for the first time since they had become roommates, he sounded a little uncomfortable with the question.
"I'm just asking for your opinion, Chris," Kurt said coolly, hoping that he wasn't pushing Chris. His roommate tolerated a lot of things going to Dalton and dealing with all of the Warblers, there was no need to add Kurt to the list.
"Well, yeah. I mean, I don't see why not. There are a lot of things weirder than the idea of someone being equally attracted to both men and women, and yeah, I'm sure a lot of people say that just because they're questioning, like Blaine, or some people that use it as a stepping stone to coming out because immediately identifying as gay can be scary, but there are also probably a lot of people that feel that way and try to repress one side of themselves because choosing to act straight or gay is easier, right? More accepted, either way? Plus, it wouldn't be hard for them to act one way or another, to feel legitimized, even if they're not being honest."
"You are being far too logical."
"You're supposed to be logical about this stuff, Kurt. If people were logical about LGBT stuff, the Bible wouldn't really be an issue."
"Ignoring that you call LGBT issues in society 'stuff,' I suppose you have a point."
"I mean, I don't buy into the whole 'everyone's bisexual a little bit' thing, because no, not everyone's bisexual. Imagine if that were true, there would be almost no gay relationships on the planet!"
"I… I don't follow."
"Okay, you're gonna slap me for this example, but imagine if Blaine were actually bisexual, he would probably just chose the easy route and pretend to be straight. There are so many people who are so afraid of who they actually are, and so many people who are treated like dirt for being the way they are, that if there was a way out, if everyone really was bisexual and could pretend they're not anything different from 'normal,' there would be only a few strong enough to admit to same-sex feelings. Now, you could also make the argument that if everyone was bisexual and could acknowledge that fact, there would be no more homophobia period, but a lot of people would have to have identity crises and go against Biblical ways and… there will probably always be homophobia. Just like if everyone was biracial, there would still be racism, because some people will always think they're better than all others."
Kurt stared at his suddenly philosophical-roommate for a long time, and then shook his head. Not in negation, but just trying to clear it. "Christopher, you make me want to go to bed at seven thirty. You know that? I'm actually going to bed right now, just because of that speech."
"Probably a good thing, you're gonna be so mad when you see that banner, you'll need all your patience." Chris suddenly transformed from philosopher back to Kurt's normal roommate, leaning back, pulling out his laptop, and plugging in headphones. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Chris."
Blaine knocked on Kurt's door at six thirty in the morning. Kurt was already awake, but he was kind of glad that he had gone to bed so early the previous night. The last week had been stressful, and he felt… recharged. "You'll never believe what the idiots have done now," was Blaine's opening comment when Kurt answered the door. "Come with me," he said, grabbing Kurt's hand and leading him down the hallway with no regard for the fact that he was in his pajamas.
Blaine dragged Kurt all the way down to the entrance of their dorm, and pulled Kurt in a 180 with a flourish to show him the banner that had been so alluded to. 'Congratulations, Klaine, the Dalton Academy Warblers' Best Gay Couple of 2011!'
Kurt stared up at the banner for a few minutes, then sighed. "No wonder they didn't want to put it up while we were fighting," was his only comment, and he alarmed himself by how accustomed he was to the antics at Dalton. The school was finally starting to feel like home, he mused to himself as he walked back up the stairs, leaving his best friend staring angrily at the banner.
"I can't believe it," Blaine was still fuming about the banner as they sat down to breakfast.
"The question is really why it bothers you so much," Charlie said as he finished up his oatmeal, his diet having improved under the watchful eye of Wes.
"The question is how you're still surprised by what happens here," Kurt corrected as he sat down next to Charlie with his breakfast, slipping the crazy boy a piece of sausage while Wes wasn't looking, trying not to think about the hypothetical dog Finn was urging Burt to buy as he did so.
"The question is where you get custom-made banners," Thad said as he sat down next to Wevid to join their image of council solidarity. Thad began asking Wes questions about where he had gotten the banner, apparently hoping to get some for the basketball team for states, so Kurt turned to his best friend.
"I think I'm going to do it."
"You wanna be a little more specific before Charlie wakes up fully and has the chance to say 'wanky?'" Blaine asked coolly, having ignored Wes' diet restrictions all together and starting in on his pile of syrup-soaked pancakes.
"I think I'm going to ask David about bisexuality," Kurt clarified, and Blaine nodded, holding a hand over his mouth as he talked and ate simultaneously.
"I thig thas a goo ideah," Blaine said nonsensically. "Unhersaning ih awas beer."
"Finish your bite, I can wait," Kurt said, because even though he'd gotten the gist of the first part, he had no way of making sense of Blaine's sentence.
The countertenor waited patiently while Blaine chewed, swallowed, and then repeated his statement. "I think that's a good idea. Understanding is always better, especially for such a sensitive topic."
"I swear you didn't say all of that the first time."
Blaine laughed and shook his head. "No, I didn't, but I think you should talk to him. I'm sure he would be happy to broaden your perspective."
"I mean, I would talk to Wes, because I know him a little better, but-"
"But you're not sure Wes actually identifies that way, despite his announcement," Blaine finished his sentence," and to be fair, I'm not sure either. Wes' relationship with the female species is long and complicated. Relax. David's not going to bite your head off. Frankly, I would be more afraid of Wes. He can be very protective of his Dave, who also isn't big on the definitions."
"You know, for someone who suggested I talk specifically to David, you're making it sound like a bad idea."
"I would talk to the both of them. Ignoring that slight awkwardness that comes with being alone in a room with a very tactile couple, I think talking to both of them will give you better perspective."
"I hate it when you're right," Kurt said, getting up from the table and approaching the council. He ignored the curious glances of many Warblers and focused on Wes and David. "May I have an audience with you guys later? I have a question?"
"Sure. Thad, when are you-"
Kurt interrupted the Head Warbler at his misconception, probably not the best idea considering David's expression. "Not the council, the two of you. I have a… personal question for you."
Wes looked ready to ask, but David squeezed his boyfriend's hand and smiled at Kurt. "Sure. How about we talk in the secret room, third floor of the library, in about half an hour?" Kurt nodded, thanked David, and walked back to Blaine.
"I don't suppose you know where the secret room on the third floor of the library is?" he asked, noticing Wes and David leave quite a bit early and not thinking too hard on why they might have wanted the delay.
"Oh, grasshopper, you have so much to learn."
With Blaine's directions saved on his phone, Kurt navigated through Dalton's winding library, walking up the South stairs to the third floor, finding the eighth row of bookshelves on his left side, and then following the row from the beginning to where it turned to a tunnel, trying not to wonder exactly how stable the structure was. Supposedly, people came up to Dalton's secret rooms all the time, they couldn't be a hazard.
Kurt found the room after a three minute walk, marked X32, and walked in. David and Wes were already there, and they had pulled three chairs into a circle. When Kurt walked in, they were pouring over the book David had that contained the official minutes of the Warblers.
"I think we made a good call with the two songs, but the problem is that we don't want to make the set list too repetitive, in style or tone. I know Blaine loves his pop music, but we should do something a little different, while trying to keep away from music traditionally covered in a cappella versions…" Wes was saying, but David stopped him with a hand on his arm.
"Stow Regionals, sweetie. What's up, Kurt?"
"I wanted to… I'm not sure how much you guys know about my argument with Blaine."
"It involved a woman, a close friend of yours if I've heard correctly, and Blaine questioning his sexuality… a sentiment I'm almost positive you don't share," Wes said coolly, both informing Kurt and trying to figure him out all at once.
"Blaine thought that he might be bisexual, and during our argument, I realized I don't really understand the topic, and now I'm trying to."
"That's very admirable of you, Kurt," Wes said with a slightly condescending smile. "I will admit that I'm in a hurry, I have to meet with Thad and my banner guy in a few minutes, but-"
"Wes, stop talking," David said with a little smile, a statement only he could make and not be killed for. "Do you have a specific question, or are you just trying to understand the general…" David trailed off, gesturing for Kurt to sit, since he had been standing only a little out of the doorway, clutching the strap of his messenger bag out of sheer awkwardness.
"More the latter," Kurt said as he sat down, leaning his messenger bag against the leg of his rather comfy chair.
"I know I may be a stereotype," Wes began, and clearly he was talking first, "but I shouldn't have identified myself as bisexual, because I am gay. I didn't love Alison, and while I can recognize a woman's beauty for the purposes of picking a girlfriend, I'm not attracted to them. If I was, I probably would have slept with Alison, regardless of my love for Dave. I used my announcement of bisexuality to the Warblers as a stepping stone, as a transition from one extreme to the other, because I was too afraid to… But this isn't about me," Wes corrected himself, clearly getting the vibe David had been throwing off throughout his speech. "I know a lot of people don't think there are actually bisexuals, and I don't know or care if you happen to be one of them. A common misconception is that people who come out as bisexual are on their way to either end of the spectrum, either ending up straight or gay. In our popular culture, you'll see that many people think women who have engaged in homosexual relationships are always going to go back to the dick at some point," David snorted at his boyfriend's phrasing, "and if you're a man who engages in a homosexual relationship, you're always going to be seen as gay, mostly because too many people see that as a derogatory… characteristic, and bad rumors stick longer than good ones. Many people see bisexuality as a trendy thing, something people do to attract attention." Wes put a hand on David's knee, but Kurt wasn't sure if it was comfort or solidarity. "A lot of people see bisexuals as not gay enough or not straight enough, or that they just can't make up their minds, and thus they're not really welcome in either community. But being bisexual is real, and it's difficult. It's often tough for people to understand because it's not strictly definable. There are no guidelines, no boxes to check off that define you one way or the other, but in the end, it's how you think of yourself and acknowledge your connections to other people, and it's very easy to find yourself having intimate connections with both men and women, and only trying to focus on one of the other in order to pigeon-hole yourself. But just because you're in a straight relationship or a gay relationship, doesn't mean that you are one or the other, and being bisexual isn't something to be abhorred or revered or scared of, it's just another way of being." At some point, Wes had stopped talking to Kurt and was directing all of his words at David, who was smiling lovingly. "And now," Wes said, taking his hand off David's knee and standing up, "I really should go." Wes leaned down to give his boyfriend a not-so-quick goodbye kiss, both of them muttering their usual chorus of 'I love you.'
"As you can see," David said with a smile once the door had closed behind Wes, "he's very supportive. And in his attempts to be very, very supportive, I'm guessing he didn't answer anything you were wondering at all."
"Not really," Kurt admitted.
"So, let's talk." David leaned back casually in his chair. "What do you want to know?"
"Well, first, is that how you define yourself? Bisexual?"
"I would put myself at a four on the Kinsey scale, but as far as society goes, that's close enough to qualify as 'bisexual.'"
"I guess I just… have trouble believing that someone can be equally, one hundred percent equally, attracted to both men and women."
David nodded, and Blaine had been right. He was very nonjudgmental. "I can see why that's a difficult concept to wrap your head around, and I agree that most people probably tend to be more attracted to one gender or the other, but it's perfectly possible for one person to be attracted to both genders."
"I…"
"I can attest, personally, because I've literally been in love with two people at the same time, two people of different genders. You know how much I love Wes, any idiot can see that, and according to rumor you've seen exactly how attracted I am to Wes." David grinned and Kurt tried to ignore the fact that he was blushing. "And I know you've never seen me with any of my girlfriends, but I've also been with women. And when you're talking about sexuality, you can't put intimate relationships and sexual ones in different boxes, because the fact of the matter it all boils down to who you want to be with, in any way."
"Before, I kind of saw bisexuality as a way for people who were facing adversity to duck back in the closet, but-"
"But it can be that!" David said. "I think a lot of the reason bisexuality has been so illegitimatized is because people use it as a way to deny their sexualities, or as a transition stage, like Wes did, or in a hundred other ways of trying to hide who they really are, and while that might be what's easiest for some people, it's also a difficult reality for others. I think it's possible a lot of people who claim to be bisexual also don't really understand it, and I don't blame you for not getting it. Believe me, it's taken me almost four years to fully wrap my head around it." David tilted his head and stared at Kurt for a moment. "Does that help?"
"I… yes, I guess. Yes, that does," he said decisively. "Thank you."
"No problem. How are you and Blaine, by the way?" Kurt sighed, and David chuckled. "Why does that seem like an actual answer?"
"Because it is," Kurt answered. "It always is."
"See you at rehearsal tomorrow," David said cheerfully as Kurt left the room, trying to mentally reverse the instructions Blaine had given him.
A/N: Okay, now, let me calm down some people. I'm not bisexual, and while I know a few bisexual people, I can't pretend to understand it, and I'm not trying to preach or persuade anyone. However, the only perspective that was presented on the show was Kurt's mild biphobia, so I wanted to present some different perspectives, mostly positive and forward-thinking ones. I apologize if I offended anyone, and that was not my intent, but Glee has completely been skating over the issue for years, and it is mentioned in both BIOTA and Sexy without being as thoroughly examined as homosexuality has been throughout the show. And none of these are necessarily my personal opinion. Chris' opinion is based on the testimony of a friend of mine, Wes' opinion is taken (almost word for word) from an interview with Noah Michelson (HuffPost Gay Voices Editor), and David's opinion is that of a bisexual person I know.
Also, I am happy to report that Noah Michelson also used the phrase 'gold star gay' in his interview, which may just be my favorite phrase ever. And for those of you who don't get the Glee reference, that's a personal problem you need to resolve.
Also, in the second scene, Chris speaks for all Glee fans and Kurt speaks for RIB, because no make up scene? Seriously? Why do issues just magically resolve themselves on television?
Also, I know I promised at least *someone* that I would start Sexy this chapter, but that didn't pan out, so Sexy will start next chapter, and hopefully it won't take too long to get through Sexy (which is another incident that requires a make-up scene never given to us), so we can get to the good stuff :) Oh, and don't worry about Charcas, that will be back in focus next chapter.
Also, it's been three weeks since I posted, so I will apologize. I am sorry. For some reason, I couldn't get past the first paragraph earlier, and then today I just whipped out a chapter. So, yay!
Also, I've used 'also' as the transition between every paragraph in these ridiculously long author's notes, so I apologize.
Songs used/mentioned:
'The Lazy Song' by Bruno Mars (mentioned)
'Pink Houses' by John (Cougar?) Mellencamp (in the style of Glee; mentioned)
'Tik Tok' by Ke$ha (in the style of Glee; mentioned)
'C'mon' by Ke$ha
Reviews are Love.