CH.32 Empty without You

Bella

The man should be coming today; it has been 2 days since he was last here.

He comes like clockwork, every 2 days to check on my food supply.

I have watched my face appear on the screen. I have listened as reporters on TV discuss my disappearance; and regaled the viewers with statistics of abductions.

I have marked the days on notebook paper with a pencil I found on one of the shelves. Wondering each morning, I wake if it will be my last. I have been locked in this cell for nine days. Christmas came and went, and I cannot help but wonder how much of my life will pass by while I am imprisoned.

I wonder if I will see Embry's face again, feel him touch me, or hear his voice tell me of his love for me. Without Embry I feel lost, my heartaches. My body feels weak,

and I hurt all over.

I will myself to have strength so that I can make it back to his arms.

I remember the sound of my father's voice as it booms in cheer for his favorite team.

I wonder if I will ever roll my eyes as my mother tells me about another of her hair-brained plans. I think about Paul and Leah and hope they are together; I want to tell them what their friendship has meant to me. I smile as I think of Seth, my puppy. Always loyal, and caring.

I think of Jake and want him to be happy. I want him to know that I love someone so much; that it allowed me to forgive all the hurt I have ever felt.

I write everything down.

I am more scared then I was when James tracked me, I knew he was going to kill me; it is the unknown that lies ahead that is terrifying.

I am lying on the bed, with the blanket around me, I feel so cold even though

it's warm in here, my cell.

I know the man should be coming soon, and I wonder if today will be the day he hands me off. Will that person hurt me?

I heard the door opening, and listened as the man made his way into my hell.

'"I've come to make sure your supplies are still stocked. This will be the last you

hear of me."

He told me.

"Please don't do this"

I begged

He did not answer.

And I could not bring myself to speak any more, I felt the doom sink in, I knew there was nothing I could say that would change his plans. Nothing has any of the other

times I tried.

He may hide his face, but I will remember his voice for the rest of my life.

He walked to the door, turned back to me and began speaking.

"This was never personal, a means to an end"

He told me, walking out the door.

I was left alone once again, my thoughts running wild and my heart clenching so tight I thought it would stop.

La Push:

"Embry, you need to get some sleep. You can't keep going like this."

I told him

"Paul, I can't. I need to be looking for her, what if I could have found her, but I was sleeping?"

I asked.

"Em, I promise you one of us will be looking while you rest, but you need to be well for when she comes home"

I tried again.

I watched as my friend, my brother curled himself into a ball, sobs shaking his huge frame as he drifted to sleep

I do not know how much longer he is going to survive without Bella. It has the whole pack worried. No one has ever seen anything like this.

We are all convinced Bella is Embry's imprint, even if the council refuse to believe it, well a couple of them do.

I watch as Embry finally allows himself to succumb to sleep, and wonder if this nightmare will ever end.

I make my way downstairs where half the pack is stationed, with Charlie, Rene

and Annie.

"Is he sleeping?"

Annie asked

"For now, but he's fighting it"

I told her and the room.

"What are we going to do tomorrow?"

Annie asked

"I don't know, I just don't know"

Charlie said looking exhausted.

"Why, what's tomorrow?"

Seth asked.

"Embry he .. He was going to propose"

Annie told us.

"Oh god"

Leah said immediately jumping up and walking out of the house.

The rest of us just looked around at one another feeling helpless, and wondering how to help our brother through this.

Rene and Annie went outside after Leah, while the rest of us just sat there not knowing what to say or do.

"Charlie, has there been anything new?"

Quil asked

"No, it's like she vanished. No one has called in any tips that are useful. There have been no sightings that came to anything. I don't know what else to do"

He said looking like a dieing man

"What can we do?"

Sam asked

"You all are already doing everything you can."

Charlie said.

Rene and Annie came back inside with Leah, we could tell the three of them had been crying, they just sat down and took in the scene in front of them.

From upstairs, we could hear Embry waking up, his heart beating erratically and his breathing labored. The wolves in the room looked at one another fear for him evident on all our faces.

We spent the rest of the day trying to get Embry to eat, and taking turns on patrol.

Bella

I woke up to my tenth day in captivity. I think its New Years Eve.

I flip through the few channels that I have and listen to yet another news brief on myself. I wonder how long they will keep talking about me before I'm forgotten?

I spend the next few hours watching reruns of some TV show that was not worth watching the first time it was on. I have not read any of the books that are here, I cannot focus long enough to understand the words on the pages.

Hours pass while I think of every moment I have spent with Embry; every kiss shared, the way it feels to make love to him, our bodies as close as they can be.

His skin that somehow taste like both chocolate and cinnamon.

The sound of his voice as he tells me he loves me.

The way his eyes light up when he is building something. His laugh when hears a good joke, his kindness and the way he respects his mom.

I do not know how much longer I can go on without him. I crave him like I crave fresh air.

Embry

I woke up , and looked around my room. I can still feel her here, her scent is still around, but it gets fainter with each passing day. I fear the day I walk in here and cannot

smell her.

The days are passing and I wonder how many will go by before we find her. I know she is alive I can feel her, but no matter how hard or how far I look I cannot find her.

My thoughts are consumed with memories how her bottom lip is just a little bit fuller than her top lip. How her lips feel pressed to mine. The way she smells like honeysuckle and her skin taste like honey.

The way our bodies fit together perfectly when we make love. The sound of her voice telling me she loves me.

How she seems to shine when she cooks, and the way she loves everyone, and takes care of her dad.

I do not know how much longer I can go on without her; I need her like I need water.

I look around outside and can see it is getting dark, the fireworks will start soon.

I was going to ask her to marry me tonight while we watched the fireworks.

I wanted to start the New Year knowing she would become my wife.

I walked downstairs to see my family, all with knowing looks. I wonder if they knew tonight I was supposed to make plans to share my life with Bella, instead I feel like my life ended when she disappeared.

I nodded, and slipped outside. Phasing quickly I needed to be on the cliffs, the spot I where I was going to ask Bella to marry me.

Charlie

I watched as Embry came down the stairs looking every bit the dieing man I felt .

I knew he must have been thinking about what tonight was supposed to be. I cannot help but think about it. I had known he was going to ask her to marry him, I gave him my blessing.

I thought I would be celebrating my daughter's engagement and welcoming a son.

Flashback

I answered the door, finding Embry standing there.

Hey son, Bella's not home yet. I told him, knowing he already knew that.

I know Chief I wanted to speak to you. He told me.

With that simple sentence, I knew why Embry Call was standing at my door.

Come on in Embry. I told him, even though part of me wanted to shoot him. I was not ready, I needed more time with my Bells.

We sat down, and I watched Embry trying to find any hint of nervousness that I could use to argue my reason for telling him they were too young.

I only found a strong, confident young man before me.

Chief, I want to ask Bella to marry me; I want to have your blessing before I do that.

He told me.

I gave him a point for not beating around the bush.

Embry, you kids are so young, why not wait? I asked him.

I know were young, and there are many reasons we should wait, but I love her. I do not want to look back in 50 years and know she could have been my wife for one day more if we had not wasted that day because we were young. He told me.

Well hell, I did not expect that.

Embry what about college? I asked him, knowing this is the trick question.

We both want to go to Peninsula Community, and work on business degrees.

Bella wants to open a coffee shop/ bookstore and serve a small lunch menu and desserts.

I think she can do it, she shines when she cooks.

I plan to have my own Builders Company, I want to design and then build. See the project from start to end.

Damn he is good, I thought.

Embry how will you support a wife? I asked. I know he is going to trip up at some point.

I will not tell you we will be rich and have a fancy house, because I do not know that. And that is not really, what either of us wants.

I do know that I will love her, my whole life. I can tell you that we will build a home and make it a home with our friends and family. We want BBQ's in the back yard, and one-day kids running around. We want the messy life that is not perfect to anyone but us.

I want to share my life with your daughter. I love her.

I was always going to tell him yes, I just wanted to hear for myself that I was making the right choice in giving my blessing.

I knew this young man sitting in front of me loved my daughter and her him, but even still, I hated losing her.

Sir, I don't want to take Bella from you, I just want to share in her life with you.

He told me.

And that is how I knew Embry Call was the best man I knew, no matter his age.

Yes Embry, you have my blessing. Welcome to the family son.

End of flashback

I was brought out of my thoughts by the most haunting howl one would ever hear.

Those of who knew about the wolves knew it was Embry, and he was thinking of what tonight was supposed to bring.

Bella

It had finally gotten dark, I could tell from the tiny window at the top of the ceiling.

I grabbed my notebook and began writing.

Dearest Embry,

Every day without you is like a day without sun, every hour without you, like an hour without water, every minute without you, like a minute without air.

You have made my life so full, shown me love and taught me what it feels like to truly love another. I cannot imagine my life without you; it would be no life I would want to live. Every moment we have spent together has been the best of my life.

I love the way you love me.

I fell in love with you the moment your arms wrapped around me at the dance.

Did I ever tell you that? In your embrace, I felt you touch my soul, and make my heart whole. I can still feel your lips on mine. I long to be wrapped in your body, and hear your breathing as you lye next to me. I want to trace your beautiful body with my fingertips memorizing every muscle and feel your breath on my skin.

I will love you for a lifetime.

My heart is eternally yours,

Bella

I put away the notebook, feeling drained with Embry's absence. I could feel myself getting weaker.

I laid my head on the pillow and began drifting to sleep.

I heard the door opening and looked through the darkened room to see who was coming for me.

I felt the breath leave my lungs.

"Ed..Edw.. Edward?"