36: Withdrawal
09/26/97
Week Six

"She locked me in here, man!"

It was too early for Shawn and Fallon's bullshit, Hunter thought, trying not to yawn. Actually, it might've been afternoon… he had woken up feeling less than fantastic, Hunter was not a big drinker and he had drank quite a bit the night before. "Why?"

"Who the hell knows?" Shawn sounded pissed, nothing unusual there. "She's got a stick up her ass, Hunt. Had one ever since we had a talk about not wanting a commitment."

More like, Shawn didn't want a commitment, not that Hunter was going to point that out.

"She's fucking Austin too!"

"Wait, what?" Now that got his attention, ignoring Jeannie's 'what's wrong', too busy now looking for his pants. That right there was enough to make him seriously question what was going on. There was no way Fallon was fucking Steve, just wasn't happening, and now that he was really listening… Shawn sounded messed up. "I'm on my way."

"What, here?"

"Yeah, there, twit." Hunter snorted, finally locating his jeans. "And don't bother trying to break any doors, you'll only wind up hurting yourself."

"How the fuck would you know?"

"Because I've been there and those doors are solid oak?"

"How many motherfucking men has she brought home?"

Hunter hung up, planning on beating Shawn to hell and back for that.

"Congratulations, Earl has a concussion."

Shawn looked up when Fallon entered the room. He hadn't hit the old bastard that hard…

He had hit poor Earl that hard, not helped by Earl cracking his head against the wall on his way down. Fallon wasn't surprised to find the bedroom trashed, folding her arms over her chest. "You attacked an old man, nice one, Michaels."

He didn't say a word.

"Out of everything you have ever said or done to me, including your last kind words about me being easy, a bitch and a slut, this is the worst." It was also officially where she had drawn the line. Fallon walked over to his bag and pulled out what remained of his coke, carrying it into the bathroom.

Shawn listened as she flushed it, still not moving from his place in the corner of the room. His eyes remained locked on her when she came out of the bathroom.

"I will work with you but that is it. We're done. You can now get your shit, get out of my house and out of my life." She had no idea why she had locked him in here, it had seemed like a good deal at the time. Maybe so Earl could kill him… But Earl was now at the hospital. She had called an ambulance and… yeah. Hell, maybe she had just wanted the last word in all this.

"Here, I'll even give you one last ego boost: I never slept with Steve, or anyone else. It was just you. Feel free to add me to your list of conquests." Egg on her face, and it was cooking. She had known all along that was what she would be, a conquest, silly girl.

"You were never just a conquest to me, Fallon." He said quietly, clearing his throat when he heard how raspy he sounded, all the earlier anger having left him to be replaced with melancholy. "How did we get here? How did everything fall apart this quickly?" He didn't understand it, he knew he loved her and she loved him, whether she would directly admit it or not. So how had things gotten this bad? He had never been in a relationship like this before, he didn't want this… none of it.

Fallon shrugged, her lips compressing in a grim line.

"I'm sorry, Fallie, I'm sorry for hurting you, but you were not a conquest." He pulled himself out of his corner, approaching her. "I love you Frogger, no matter what you think of me right now."

"I think you're an egotistical prick who only throws out the L word when you know your play toys are about to slip away before you've had your fill." She said coldly. Why did he have to do this? Now? Seriously? She wanted him out so she could cry over her broken heart and drink herself into a coma. "What you wanted was to have your damn cake and eat it too." She scoffed, sounding just a bit bitter. "Well, it doesn't work that way Shawn, welcome to the real world."

Fallon stuffed her fingers in her ears when she seen his lips forming that damn L word again. "Would you quit? You don't love anyone but yourself!"

"That's not true, don't tell me what I do and don't feel, Fallon! I love you!" He shouted, making himself heard over her stupid, childish gesture. He ripped her hands away from her head, eyes blazing down at her. "I love you, I love you, I love you, I fucking love you!"

She shook her head rapidly back and forth.

"You are not a conquest, you never were!" He yanked her against him, refusing to let her go. "You're the one who started this jealousy shit, you made me believe you fucked someone else!"

"I wouldn't have down it if you hadn't started flirting with every woman you passed! Or told me it was alright to explore other options!" She shot right back, not appreciating him bellowing in her face.

"I've got news for you; I haven't slept with anyone but you since we got together! You're not a play toy, you're something more, and you know it!"

Her hands were on his chest, trying to push him away as she fought back tears. Withdrawal, this emotionalism was withdrawal, nothing more! Finally, she slumped against him, crying openly. "I hate that I love you." She whispered raggedly. Because he could hurt her so easily, and they both knew it.

Well, that was something… in the way of her saying she loved him… and he held her gently, resting his head on top of hers. "You've ruined me, Fallon… I love you, I don't want anyone else. You can tell me to go burn in hell all you want, you can push me away all you want, but I'm not going anywhere." He ran a hand up between their bodies until his palm was resting against her heart. "We belong to each other, whether we like it or not."

She simply nodded, too tired to argue, and he was right, as much as she hated admitting it. Fallon allowed him to pull her down onto the bed, nestling into his side and just rested her head on his shoulder. She was emotionally drained; there really wasn't much else to do than lie there. Everything hurt, inside and out, and she was regretting flushing that bag. Withdrawal, she was strong enough, she could handle it. God, let her handle it.

"You're apologizing to Earl." She murmured finally, looking up at him, still finding it hard to believe he had punched Earl. What if she had opened her door? Would that have been her on the floor?

Shawn had absolutely no intentions of apologizing to Earl, the old prick had been planning on attempted murder, not that he would mention that. Not right now anyway, not with them on such an edgy precipice. "I don't think I'll come here again, Frogger." He said softly. "I think I'll just let you come alone on your days off, give us some space. I think part of our problem is that we don't get enough space from each other and we're driving each other up a wall."

That was understatement of the century, but… it was also probably true.

"I do love you," He whispered, kissing the top of her head. "You believe me, right?"

"Get away from her!"

They both jumped, looking towards the door where a very livid Hunter stood. The room was trashed, Fallon was still a little weepy, and she and Shawn both probably looked like hell frozen over. She could easily see why this seemed so wrong. That hadn't stopped her from nearly shitting a brick at the unexpected bellow or sitting upright so fast it made her already aching head spin, clamping both hands at her temples.

Hunter was staring at her intently, his furious eyes softening only a little as he took her in, and the softening wasn't pity but concern. She really had no idea how she was already starting to change, and Hunter was just now realizing it. She was thinner, not by much, but considering he had spent an obscene amount of time with the woman before she and Shawn had started whatever the hell they called this thing between them, he could clearly tell when something about her was changing –physically at least.

She wasn't wearing make-up, or even properly dressed, and her pale face was gaunt, slight circles under her eyes. The way her face was scrunching and the hands at her temples, she was suffering a headache and her eyes were watery, as if she were sick.

In fact, Shawn was looking the same way.

"What are you doing here?" She asked quietly, tiredly, not surprised at all when Shawn moved her onto his lap as a shield. Hunter was looking a tad murderous.

"Now… Huntie…" Shawn was seriously regretting that rash phone call, having completely forgotten all about it until now.

"Shut up, Michaels." Hunter growled, picking his way through the room until he was at the bed. He bent down and gently extracted Fallon from the other man's grip, pulling her up onto her feet and instantly steadied her when she wobbled. "God Fal…" He whispered, tearing his eyes from her, and moved his gaze back to Shawn. "You really fucked up, didn't you?"

"I-"

Fallon interceded when Hunter firmly, but carefully, pushed her aside, knowing he was about to go after Shawn. "No."

"Move Fallon, he needs to be tossed out on his ass for what he's done." And he had every intention of doing the tossing.

Shawn's figurative feathers were ruffled and he got off the bed angrily. "What's the matter, Huntie boy?" He taunted, clenching his fists at his sides. "Upset that it's me here and not you?"

Hunter audibly gnashed his teeth.

"You've always wanted her, admit it!"

They were going to do this, have a dick measuring contest, right now… Fallon's headache was getting worse.

Hunter took a deep, calming breath. "Yeah, it's all true, everything you just said." He admitted gruffly. "But that's not the point here, Michaels, the point is: you're fucking her life up and it stops."

"Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you!"

Fallon wedged herself between them went it appeared they were about to get toe to toe, arms outstretched and looked back and forth from Shawn to Hunter. "Guys, stop it." She pleaded. "Please, just quit…" Her headache was getting worse with each word they shouted, pretty sure it was going to explode and cover them both in brain matter. "Would you fucking stop?" She finally screamed, hands over her ears, eyes squeezed shut.

Hunter and Shawn both shut up, staring down at her with identical expressions of surprise on their faces.

She was never doing coke again, or drinking, or herb… not if this was the end result. But… at least one of those items might fix this problem… but the liquor was all downstairs and she had hurled her coke and herb out the window… and this hurt!

Shawn knew she was going through withdrawal, probably not helped by all the fighting and stress and shot Hunter a hateful scowl. "Shut the fuck up about shit you don't understand."

"No, you-" Hunter caught Fallon when she collapsed against him, cradling her against him cautiously. "What's wrong with her, Michaels?"

"Withdrawal."

The simple, matter-of-fact way Shawn said it made Hunter hate him all the more. Cussing under his breath, he scooped her up into his arms. Making his knowledge of her house quite clear, he walked out of the room and across the hall into hers, not surprised to find she hadn't changed a thing. Everything was still girly, and still yellow.

Shawn followed, not even bothered anymore by the fact that Hunter had been here before, and even in her bedroom. The man had admitted he loved her, but Fallon had also made it quite clear she and Hunter had never done anything together, as much as dear Huntie wished it. If he wasn't feeling so shitty, he might've smirked.

Unaware of his rival's thoughts, Hunter lay Fallon down on her bed. "This is withdrawal from that shit she smokes?" He asked, confusion lacing his tone, the thought that maybe she was trying to get clean flickering through his mind.

Shawn didn't answer him, busy staring down at her.