"I know you have saved my ass Vera... But guess what, I saved yours too and the truth is you're only keeping me in any kind of position of power because you're scared. You've always been scared of Franky and now that Stella's there too you're terrified they'll over throw your little facade... And they will, or Joan will, either way you're fucked unless you play your cards right. So I sincerely suggest you keep yer mouth shut about me and Franky and let me see my girl and Stella whenver I need to." I hung up the phone abruptly blowing air hard off my lips like Franky would do. I'd never been so mad or treated a governor so unprofessionally but I didn't give a shit anymore. I slurped back my wine hastily and looked around my empty house. I couldn't believe how quiet it was without her... it had been 3 weeks since she was arrested and ended up in medical and she had made little to no improvement. She looked frail and she was so far past depressed I had no idea if she was going to live... All I wanted to do was bring her home and hold her but I didn't think I was ever going to be able to do that again.
I had the best lawyers I could afford working on her case but the fact was there was hard evidence to prove she had murdered her mother. I really didn't have a leg to stand on and the worst part was several girls had come forward and confessed to the brutality that Franky had subjected them to the first time she'd been in prison thinking there was no way she'd survive to end up back in general... I feared for them to be honest. She had so many charges stacked against her and there was so little I could do without bringing myself down with her as an auxiliary to her crimes... I was surprised Joan hadn't sold her out too... That worried me as well... I needed to know what she was playing at. I slammed my glass down hard on the counter watching it shatter into hundreds of pieces at the thought of everything. Fucking hell Franky what have you done...
I walked the hallways of my house searching for a piece of her somewhere in the midst of it all. I grabbed her black jacket off the coat rack that she'd wore the day she got her job and draped it around me desperately trying to get her smell all over me. I held on to the thought of her beside me flicking her fingers like she was knocking the end off her cigarette. I pictured her fidgeting in her seat telling me about her day and asking me to tell her about my past two pieces at a time because she constantly wanted to know more about me as long as I didn't pry too much into her. I fabricated our first weeks together in my mind, brought them back to life in front of me so vividly I could feel her jerk against me as we cuddled on the couch in my mind. She was warm and rigid and not bony the way she felt now. I felt tears well up in my eyes knowing this could be the end for us and that she would never be coming home again... There's no hope...
I thought about her wet tears on my shoulder and her tongue up and down my neck. I shivered as I recalled how she looked at me each time we had to leave each other and how I never understood why she held on to me like she'd never get that chance again and finally I understood she already knew... I sobbed into her jacket and worried about the future for her and how I was ever going to pull my life together without her in it...