Aloha people!
Wow, it's been a while. Sorry about that. I've been busy. This chapter took a while.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who or any of it's characters. However, do keep in mind that the plot line and the things that are put in here are mostly my ideas. The only time they aren't is when there is a question that someone asked. This is a fan made product and is not to be taken seriously. Also, Lady Solarus (Or Lord President Solarus) is a character who belongs to KittenRainbows9.
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HarryPotter4Ever. Always asks:
OK so this is for Amy and Clara... did you two know that people ship you two like they even have fan fictions such as s/10174135/1/The-Impossible-Girl (BTW Rory doesn't exist in that story for some bizarre reason...) not to mention there's a Clara/TARDIS ship too. Then again can't be as bad as 12/Clara ship. XD Oh my giddy aunt... Let chaos ensure. BTW I don't hate the master unlike some people (glares at Jack and Jones family), I just think he was misunderstood having growing up insane from the drumming in his head by Rassilon who used him as pawn in his game (shame on you Rassilon resorting to using little time tots)... Well would you look at that, I have to go to college but on a side note Bow-Ties, Stetsons, Fezzes and Fish Custard are cool (11/Chinny/Doctor (what ever name you like being called) you are my favorite doctor because you remind me of my self, hell my personality is based off you, thought that being said every one of the doctor is cool including you Granddad and
Sandshoes XD)
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Rory: That's my wife you're shipping. Sink that ship. Now.
Clara: Me and Amy?
TARDIS: [muttering] Amy and I.
Clara: Oh shut up. Anyway, don't worry Rory. I'm not interested.
TARDIS: Hey Clara…
Clara: Yes?
TARDIS: Read the second question.
Clara: A Clara/TARDIS ship?!
Twelfth Doctor: What do you mean it can't be worse than Clara/Twelfth Doctor?
Clara: Never mind that!
TARDIS: A TARDIS/Clara ship?! Who are these sick people?!
Clara: That would never work! She hates me and she doesn't have a body that's compatible to mine!
TARDIS: She's impossible! The impossible girl and impossible to live with let alone have a relationship with!
Twelfth Doctor: How can it be worse? Are you saying that we aren't shippable? Because to be honest-
Clara and the TARDIS: Now is not the time Doctor!
Clara: We are at a real crisis here!
TARDIS: Based on this ship I'd say the universe is about to fall to pieces.
Clara: Ok well not to pieces, but I get what you're saying.
TARDIS: See! Even she agrees with me… wow, that's a first.
Clara: What is?
TARDIS: We both agree on something. And it's not the Doctor's safety or wellbeing.
Clara: Wow. I feel like I've accomplished something. So what do we do about these shippers?
TARDIS: I know just what to do. Missy, darling,
Missy: Yes?
TARDIS: Please throw all of these Clara/TARDIS shippers into a pit and then COMPLETELY ANNIHILATE THEM!
Eleventh Doctor: Whoa, calm down.
TARDIS: I am calm.
Eleventh Doctor: No you aren't.
TARDIS: Ok fine I'm not. But I have a good reason not to be!
Eleventh Doctor: I don't see the problem with this.
TARDIS: Of course you don't. THEY SHIP US! THE SHIP CLARA AND I. TOGETHER!
Eleventh Doctor: Ok, ok. Just breath. Like we practiced.
TARDIS: *deep breaths*
Eleventh Doctor: Better?
TARDIS: No. I'm still bothered. I'd rather Jack than her.
Jack: I'm not quite sure whether I should be offended or not.
Rose: I'm pretty sure that that was a compliment. I think.
Clara: So Missy, are you up for the job?
Missy: I get to kill people, right?
Clara: Yup.
Missy: Then I'll gladly-
Tenth Doctor: Decline.
Clara, Missy, TARDIS: Decline?!
Tenth Doctor: Yes. Decline.
TARDIS: Are you insane?!
Tenth Doctor: Actually no. You forced me to take a test. It came out negative. And since when were you all up for killing people?
TARDIS: Not everybody, just people who ship Clara and I.
Twelfth Doctor: there are other ways to do it.
Missy: Personally I think that the TARDIS is right. There is only one way to do this.
Mickey: Actually no. The TARDIS could do something terrible to Clara or Clara could do something bad to the TARDIS. That would break them up.
Clara: Don't give her any ideas.
TARDIS: That's like, a two in one package! Something terrible happens to Clara and this ship sinks. I like that.
Clara: Crap. I'm screwed. See you all in hell.
TARDIS: Aw don't say that. I'll just keep you in the freezer. Then I'll defrost you in an oven. Then I'll,
River: Sweetie, that's enough. You aren't going to hurt her.
TARDIS: But-
River: You're upset. Breathe and count to ten. Like you and the Doctor practiced.
TARDIS: Who are you? My mother?
River: No, I'm your child now breathe or I'll shoot your console.
TARDIS: Fine. *breaths and counts to ten*
Jack: Wait, the TARDIS has anger issues.
Eleventh Doctor: Ah yes. I experienced third degree burn once. And not to mention Clara.
Rose: And Jack.
Eleventh Doctor: And Jack.
TARDIS: Ok so I have some things to fix here and there but I am not as young as I used to be several centuries ago!
Missy: Wait; do I still get to kill people?
Everyone (except TARDIS and Clara): NO!
TARDIS: No but really, why?
Eleventh Doctor: That's against the policy.
TARDIS: Who's policy?
Eleventh Doctor: The one in your manual.
Amy: I thought you threw that in a super nova.
Eleventh Doctor: Not before reading it. Also it's Lord Rassilon's rules.
Master: You actually did something smart for once.
Eleventh Doctor: Oh shut up.
Donna: Rassilon is dead. It's now Lady Solarus. She can change the law or whatever it is that's preventing the TARDIS from murdering people.
Eleventh Doctor: Yes but you cant changes any laws without the approval of the high counsel and I don't think that they're going to do that. TARDISs are more powerful than they appear.
TARDIS: A TARDIS apocalypse. Set off for world domination. We could team with the Master. That'll give her something to do.
Missy: Finally somebody who understands me! Do you see why I need your TARDIS?
Twelfth Doctor: Look what you've done! You've tainted my TARDIS.
Missy and TARDIS: Tainted?!
Twelfth Doctor: She never used to have a dark side.
Missy: True. But I like her better this way!
Twelfth Doctor: I will hit you with my shoe.
Missy: Oh shut up. So when do I get to kill these people?
Tenth Doctor: Nobody is dying. Meaning that you aren't killing anybody.
Missy: But Clara and the TARDIS said-
Twelfth Doctor: I don't care what they said; they are in a state of panic. Don't listen to them.
Missy: You take the fun out of everything.
TARDIS: He's right. I guess we shouldn't go that far.
Clara: Who's side are you on?!
TARDIS: Not yours.
Clara: Fair point. But we are technically on the same side since we are trying to get rid of Clara/TARDIS shippers.
TARDIS: No, I'm doing it next to you. Not with you.
Donna: If you're going to bicker again, we may as well move on!
Master: Oh would you look at that. I found a human who doesn't hate me. How would you like to work for me?
Jack: How could you not hate him? Do you know what he did to me? To Martha and her family? To the TARDIS? To the Doctor?!
Master: Well it was Rassilon's fault.
Tenth Doctor: Now what did we say about blaming other people?
Master: I don't care what we said! You're boyfriend is a freak! How you can go about flirting with this guy who is a very wrong thing?!
Tenth Doctor: Don't bring him into this. It wasn't his fault!
Jack: Don't worry about me. What about Martha?
Master: She was on your team.
Jack: So was the Doctor.
Master: Yes but I didn't torcher him. I just made him older. I would've left him alone but he would've stopped me. Come to think of it, you were the only one I actually tortured for fun. Martha's family only received a few raps on the wrist. And Martha was out traveling the world.
Jack: She was risking her life to save six billion people! (A/N: I know it's about seven billion but back when it happened, it was six billion. Work with me.)
Master: She didn't need to! They were just being replaced.
Jack: You cannibalized the TARDIS!
Master: Because she was the only thing that could sustain the paradox!
Jack: The paradox you created!
Master: Ok so I created a small paradox-
Tenth Doctor, Martha, the Jones family, Jack: Small?!
Martha: You killed everybody!
Master: But our asker has a good point, it was the drums. They made me go mad! No Time Lord in their right mind would do that! Paradoxes are as bad as daleks in our books!
Tenth Doctor: It's true. Unless Lady Solarus changed the rules.
Rose: Lady Solarus…
Tenth Doctor: Sorry?
Rose: Well you call Lord Rassilon only Rassilon. But you address Solarus as Lady Solarus.
Twelfth Doctor: Time Lords do it all the time. We do it to people who we hate or if they're very close to us.
Rose: So you dislike the president? Not very different from humans.
Tenth Doctor: He and the high counsel banished me from Gallifrey!
Master: He put drums in my head!
Tenth Doctor: You were never the same again…
Master: People change. But it's a shame Rassilon died.
Tenth Doctor: Why?
Master: We didn't get to egg his house yet!
Tenth Doctor: We never really did figure out where he lived.
Master: Do you think we could egg Lady Solarus' house?
Lady Solarus: Don't even think about it. Unless you want to be banished to Skaro.
Master: Go ahead. You've screwed with my brain why not put me in a Dalek waste land?! (/sarcasm off/)
Tenth Doctor: You'll have to excuse him, his head isn't on properly.
Master: I'll egg yours and the counsels houses.
Tenth Doctor: Please don't.
Master: Why not? They deserve it.
Tenth Doctor: … Ok so you're probably right about that part. But that doesn't mean we egg their houses. Hell, we don't even know where Gallifrey is!
Master: Point taken. But it would be really lovely to do it. Just be thankfull that I'm not setting their houses on fire.
Tenth Doctor: You'd probably get thrown into a volcano for that. Or a large tub of acid. Whichever one comes first.
Master: Most likely. But it'll be worth it. Setting fire to the houses of the people I hate as my last evil act in my miserable life
Jack: Actually, burning a house down sounds a like a nice plan. Go ahead Master.
Tenth Doctor: Jack, stop that. Nobody is going to burn any houses down and nobody is getting thrown into any volcanoes or acid tubs.
Master: I don't believe it! One of your companions would want to kill me? After all of my hospitality? You've really out done yourself. I'd keep him but he's as bad as the drums.
Tenth Doctor: I will lock in a closet with him for one hour if you don't stop.
Jack and the Master: One hour in a closet? With him?
Jack: Hello.
Master: If I haven't clawed my eyeballs out by the time we're out, I'll be your personal servant for a day, no, a week.
Jack: Ouch.
Tenth Doctor: Anyway, what's this next part…
Eleventh Doctor: So you're basically a human version of me?
Tentoo: That position is taken. Find something else.
War Doctor: Grandad?
Eleventh Doctor: Clara, it's your fault that they now call me chinny.
Clara: I'm sorry if I came up with a nickname for you.
Tenth Doctor: THEY AREN'T SAND SHOES!
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I actually added onto that last part. (Yes, another deleted section)
Tenth Doctor: THEY AREN'T SAND SHOES! *Becomes giant, rampages through a town and buys a chihuahua*
TARDIS: Quick, get the mug blaster!
Rose: On it.
Rory: A mug blaster?
Eleventh Doctor: It's the one item that will save us all.
Rose: Got it!
TARDIS: You know what to do.
Rose: *throws mug at tenth doctor*
Mug: *Explodes*
Tenth Doctor: *Returns to normal size*
Donna: Have a nice time Hulk?
Tenth Doctor: Yeah… sorry about that.
Donna: You destroyed half of London!
Master: And he got a Chihuahua.
Donna: Nobody cares about the Chihuahua! How are we going to fix this?!
Tenth Doctor: Oh easy, wait until the episode finishes. Then everything will be ok.
Donna: Nope, I've got nothing.
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So yeah, questions are open and reviews are welcome. Next time I wont be so late with this.