Disclaimer - Guess what! Twilight STILL belongs to Stephenie Meyer and not us. We do, however, have some silly videos of us doing a Q&A posted on our Facebook page, if you'd like to check them out!

Chapter 38 - 2000 Miles

(BPOV)

"Isabella, you can't mope around the entire time you're out of school for Christmas break. I won't let you."

I know my dad means well, and I really have been trying to put on a brave, happy face, but being out of school for break leaves me with a lot of time on my hands to think about Edward and how much I miss him.

"I'm fine, Dad, I promise. I just miss Edward, that's all."

"Just don't let it ruin your holiday, Bells. Go out and do something fun with your friends," he says, with a pointed look, as he gently shuts the door to my bedroom.

My friends have actually been suffocating me lately. They feel the need to include me in everything they do these days. Whether it's going to the gym with Emmett and Jasper, making a cereal run with Alice, or shopping for fabric with Rose; I feel like I've been with them 24/7 since we've been out of school.

I get that they're worried about me, and I appreciate them making sure I feel included, but sometimes when I'm around the four of them...together...it just makes me miss Edward that much more.

So, today, on Christmas Eve, I choose to be by myself.

Besides, Rosalie is at the Cullen's house today for their annual Christmas Eve festivities. Esme called to personally invite me, but I politely declined. I made up some excuse about needing to stay around here and do family stuff. Whatever. Our family time includes my mother sitting around talking about what the Stanleys are doing and my dad rolling his eyes...and me trying to ignore it all.

Alice and Jasper went to buy a Christmas tree. Since neither of their parents wanted to put one up, they are buying one and putting it up tonight at Jasper's house. It's times like these that I'm so glad they have each other, because as shitty as my mom acts sometimes, at least we have a damn Christmas tree.

I'm happy enough just knowing that my friends are happy. Plus, I don't want to miss Edward's call. He said that he would call as soon as he could, but he wasn't sure exactly when that would be. His parents are making him go to some stuffy dinner at their friends' house tonight.

I feel so out of sorts today. I haven't talked to him since early yesterday, and we only got to talk for a few minutes. It seems like every time he calls me, his mom has something for him to do or somewhere he has to go.

He's been forced into more parties and dinners than I can count and I hate it for him. I know he is forced to see people from his old high school, people he used to be friends with...if that's what you want to call them. I can only imagine how uncomfortable that is, especially since the trial and all of that. Most of Edward's old friends are really pissed that he ratted out Demetri and Riley.

I'm just hoping that when he finally calls me tonight, we'll be able to talk for a while. That's all I want for Christmas: a long phone call with Edward, so that I can feel close to him. It's the next best thing to having him here. I miss him so much.

I can't believe that it's been over a month now since the last time I saw him. I mean, I can, because it feels like longer, but I was for sure that he would be back by now. I feel little seeds of doubt being planted in my mind every time I think about it. There's a part of me that worries that he'll never be back. I know that's irrational and crazy, but being without Edward makes me irrational and crazy.

I roll over and get off my bed. Looking around the room, I start to feel a little stir crazy, so I decide to go downstairs and make some cookies. It'll piss my mom off and give me something to take my mind off of missing Edward. That's a win-win situation if I've ever seen one.

As I'm taking out everything I need to make cookies, thanks to Alice and Rose we now have a nice little stash of non-approved items in our cabinets, I start thinking about this totally wretched mood I've been in.

I feel really selfish saying this, but I can't believe Edward didn't send me anything for Christmas. It's Christmas Eve and nothing came in the mail today, and the mail won't run tomorrow. I know it's completely self-centered and the truth of the matter is that he doesn't have to buy me anything. I just want to know he's thinking about me as much as I'm thinking about him.

He already got the package I sent him. He called me right when the postman dropped it off yesterday morning and said he wasn't going to open it until tomorrow. "Such a kid," I think to myself, rolling my eyes. I really hope he likes it. After sending him a mixtape just a couple of weeks ago, I was sort of at a loss at what to get him. I wanted it to be something that reminded him of Chicago and me...us. More than anything, I wanted it to be meaningful and help him to know how much I love him. So, I found a print of the painting he loves so much, A Sunday on La Grande Jatte by Seurat...the one that is hanging at the Art Institute where we had our first date.

After I slide the cookies into the oven, I walk over to the window. Everything seems so peaceful. Snow is now covering every inch of ground and it's literally hanging off of the trees. I remember when I was little, my dad would go out in the backyard and play with me. We would make snow angels and he knew how to make the best snow forts. That was before my mom hated carbs and before she was obsessed with how much money everyone has. Our Christmases were really happy back then.

Now they just seem cold, I think, as a chill runs up my back. Where did the old Christmas go? I'm not sure, but I want it back. Oh, great. Now I'm talking to myself and answering myself.

Rubbing my arms for warmth, I walk over to check on the cookies. I have to take them out right before they get done, so that the center is still soft. Slightly undercooked is the only way to go, next best thing to eating the cookie dough straight out of the bowl.

"Something smells good in here," my dad says, as he pops his head around the corner.

"Don't tell mom," I whisper, holding out a hot cookie on a spatula.

He quickly takes the cookie and makes a motion of zipping his lips and throwing the key over his shoulder.

"Hey, How The Grinch Stole Christmas is on. Wanna take these in the living room and watch it with me?" He raises his eyebrows and gets a crazy look in his eyes. I can't resist that face, or that movie. I love all the Whos in Whoville.

An hour later, we've eaten the entire plate of cookies, drank two large glasses of milk, and learned that the Grinch's heart is now three sizes bigger.

"Thanks, Dad."

"For what?"

"For helping me feel like it's Christmas."

"Any time, Bells."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you, too. Always have, always will."

The doorbell rings and interrupts our moment.

"I'll get it," my dad says, getting out of the chair and heading to the front door.

I take the opportunity to get rid of our evidence of having cookies and milk. A minute later, I hear the front door close.

"Uh, Bella, you should come in here." I hear a rustling sound. "There's something for you."

Walking back into the living room, I can see why my dad sounded so perplexed.

There are dozens of red balloons floating on the ceiling of our foyer. I can hardly see my dad for all of the streamers hanging down. He's just standing there looking up at the cloud of red above him, holding a white envelope in his hand. When he sees me, he reaches up and scratches his head, holding the envelope out for me to take. "This is for you," he pauses, "I guess I'll leave you to...this...whatever this is," he gestures toward the ceiling.

I can hear him chuckle as he walks past me, handing me the envelope, and under his breath, he mutters, "that boy's got it bad."

I open the envelope and pull out the note inside. It's Edward. Well, not technically, but it's his handwriting. I feel a lump form in my throat before I even get past, "Hey, Beautiful."

I'm sorry that I can't be there with you on Christmas. I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me, and assure you that I could never forget about you.

If Emmett did his job right, there should be 99 red balloons floating around...one balloon for every reason that I love you.

1. I love your chocolate brown eyes..

2.. I love that I can't imagine a day without you in my life.

3. I love how soft your hair is.

4. I love the way you smell like cotton candy, and goodness, and flowers...

5. I love when we stay up all night talking.

6.. I love how I know you'll always be there when I need you to be.

7. I love when you fall asleep on the phone. You have the cutest snore..

8. I love the way you make me laugh.

9. I love the way you laugh.

10. I love the way you stand up for what you believe in.

I stop for a minute and think about everything that has happened in the short time since I first met Edward. When the school year began, I never expected my life to be as it is now. Who knew that my senior year at Ridge High would be the most significant year of my life to date.

Wiping a small tear from my cheek, I continue.

25. I love your thoughtfulness, especially when you think no one is watching.

26. I love the way you say my name.

26. I love your nose.

27. I love your boobs.

28. I love the way you don't try to change me...

29. I love the way your voice sounds over the phone...

30. I love it when you whisper in my ear.

31. I love when you hold my hand.

32. I love that I can trust you.

33. I love that you're so smart, and I hate that not everyone knows that about you.

34. I love when you wear strawberry lip gloss.

35. I love when you get mad. It's so damn sexy.

That makes me laugh. Man, when Edward and I first met, we were like oil and water. He knew how to push all of my buttons. I feel my face heat up, thinking about the ways he still knows how to push my buttons, just in a completely different way.

50. I love the way you're willing to help people, like giving a geek your bra..

51. I love when you don't have any makeup on..

52. I love how every time I look at you, you take my breath away.

53. I love when you wear a skirt.

54. I love when you wear that blue sweater.

55. I love when you bite your lip...

56. I love how my heart skips a beat whenever you walk into the room.

57. I love the way you inspire me to be more than I am.

58. I love the way you make me feel like anything is possible as long as I'm with you.

59. I love the way you tuck your hair behind your ears when you're feeling shy or insecure.

60. I love the way you stand on your tiptoes to kiss me.

My hand goes to my lips, as I think about what it's like to kiss Edward.

I miss him so much.

81. I love the way you grab ahold of my jacket when you kiss me.

82. I love you just the way you are.

83. I love your spontaneity.

84. I love that you won't let go when we hug.

85. I love that you let me open doors for you.

86. I love when you run your fingers through my hair.

87. I love how I can make you blush.

88. I love our mutual love of donuts.

89. I love the way you drive me crazy.

90. I love your confidence.

91. I love your ability to make me feel better when times are tough.

92. I love your courage to be you.

93. I love the fact that you want to be with me and only me.

94. I love the way you wrinkle your nose.

95. I love how I feel when I am with you.

96. I love thinking about my future because you're in it.

97. I love that distance has only brought us closer.

98. I love dreaming about you.

99. I love everything about you.

A/Ns:

Jiff: How sweet is that RebelWard?! I still can't stop laughing at the image of Charlie standing in the foyer surrounded by all of those balloons!

Jenny Kate: We should tell them how we were imagining that all you would be able to see is his mustache. LOL. Rebelward is so sweet, he's giving me a toothache! I love him.

Jiff: I love him, too. I know it must be disappointing to know that it wasn't Edward at the door but there must be a method to our madness, right?

Jenny Kate: Bwahahahahaha. Kidding. Of course, there's a method to the madness. Trust us. In case you missed it, we posted our Q&A videos on Facebook and Twitter! So, if you asked a question and you want to know the answer, head over to one of those places and check them out!

Jiff: Also, if you want to see us fangirl over our favorite fics and Rob, you should go watch. Beware, though, our southern accents are pretty strong! You might need subtitles like they have on Duck Dynasty. Hey.

Jenny Kate: You can take that to the bank, Jack! Thanks to everyone who submitted a question! Casper15 was the winner of our drawing! Congrats! We appreciate all of you who read and review every chapter! You have no idea how much it totally makes our day and encourages us to keep writing. So, thank you!