Chap36: Already Fucked-Up

Sasuke's POV

I want destroy something, anything. I left Sakura's house tonight knowing one thing-it's over. I was an idiot to think she feels the same about me, the way I feel for her. I wanted to believe she was holding back because she was scared . . . but in reality she was just using me to get over someone else.

Instead of going hom, I drive to the Sharingan warehouse. On my way, I notice a car in the rearview mirror that I've seen a couple times before. Am I being tailed? I speed through busier parts of town and lose them. At the warehouse, Kiba is sitting with a bunch of guys. Some are drinking tequila, some are smoking dope. It's the scene Mikoto wanted to shelter me from, probably because she knew I'd be drawn to it at some point.

I've reached that point.

"Hey," Kiba says. I can tell by his bloodshot eyes that he's completely wasted. "I thought you were going out with your girl tonight."

"She's not my girl anymore." I grab a shot of tequila and chug it. It's cheap sutff, but I'm guessing it'll do the job.

"Congratulations. You finally dumped the bitch." He holds up his own shot of tequila in a congratulatory salute. "On to bigger and better."

"Right." I throw the shot cup down and reach for a can of beer. Then another. By the time I'm on my fifth beer and had 4 tequila shots, I'm completely wasted and feeling damn good. Like I don't give a shit about anyone, especially Sakura.

I need to tell her tonight was a mistake, and it'll never happen again. I won't give her the satisfaction of letting her think she hurt me. I pull out my cell and call her.

"Hey, Sak." I say when she answers. "I'm with Kiba." I put my around hin and say. "We were just trading stories about you. Ain't that right, baka?"

Kiba laughs. I know she can hear him. I'm being a complete idiot and I'm making this up as I go along, but in my drunken state I don't have a filter. She might as well have stabbed me in the heart.

"I'm hanging up." she warns.

"No.!" I yell into the reciever. "I need to say one more thing."

"What?" she asks.

Time to be the asshole she think I am.

I concentrate on not slurring my words, but I don't know if I'm successfull. "I'm done with you."

She hangs up on me. My words hurt her. I know I'm gonna regret that call in the morning, but right now I'm flying high and don't give a rat's ass.

I stumble over to the cooler and grab another beer. By the time I finish it, I'm seeing double and I'm completely unable to think . . . about anything. I don't even remember what I said to Sakura, or even if I really called her or if I just thought that called her.

"Hey, SAsuke." Karin says, coming up to me. "You're wasted."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Is there trouble in paradise?"

I shake my head and hold up the beer can. "This is my paradise."

"I know what will get your mind off Sakura."

"What?"

"Me." she kisses me, and I'm too weak and too stupid drunk to think about pushing her away. She's not what I want. She knows it, but she doesn't care. I could close my eyes and pretend she's Sakura . . . that would really prove I'm an asshole.

Karin leads me to a room off to the side. I sit on an old, beaten-up couch and she straddles me, but my body won't cooperate-as if it knows what it want and Karin's no it. "I'm in love with her." I say, stopping Karin before this goes any further.

"Why?" Karin asks, annoyed.

"She's my angel."

Karin slides off me and heads for the door. "You don't know what you're missing, Sasuke."

Yeah, I do. I've had one-night stands before . . . they're all the same. With Sakura it matters . . . whih is why tonight hurts so fucking bad.

"Sorry," I tell Karin.

She doesn't answers. Instead, she walks out and slams the door behind her.

In the early morning, I wake up and realize that I fell asleep at the warehouse. Everyone is gone except for a few people that call this shithole their home.

My head is spinning even before I manage to lift myself into a sitting position. I wonder if I look as shitty as I feel. Glancing down at the empty cans of beer beside me makes my stomach churn. I'm gonna puke.

I stumble outside and hurl until there's nothing left. I'm so weak I can hardly stand.

"Rough night?" Pein asks, coming up beside me.

"Hai."

"I used to get fucked up like that when I was your age. Fun times, huh?"

"I'm not having fun right now." I tell him as another wave of nausea hits me.

He laughs as I puke my guts out again. "You still got that key Madara gave you?"

"I haven't had a chance to go to the bank," I tell him. "Besides, I think I'm being followed."

He laughs cynically. "I'm having you followed, Sasuke. You're valuable to me, and the Sharingan."

I glare at him in the corner of my eye, I got to watch my back even closer now, dammit.

Pein pats my back, hard ebough to rattle my sensitive stomach. "All right, baka. You got one more week and then I've got to put the pressure on. Consider this a warning. Go home," he orders. "Itachi and Sai are there, but don't tell them you were here."

"How do you know where they are?"

"Haven't you realized it by now, Sasuke?" Pein says. "Me and Madara got eyes and ears everywhere. Hell, even when we was in jail we knew your every move. When you were in Japan, I had my guys track you."

"Why me?"

"When you're ready to know, I'll tell ya, or Madara. Now get your sorry ass out of here."

I walk through the door of my house, but can't make it to the bathroom so I run outside to puke in the bushes. I ignore the stares from my family as I stumble through the house and head straight for my bedroom. Sleep. All I need is sleep. I fall facedown onto my mattress.

"Sasuke.!" Mikoto says from the doorway. She's pissed, and I'm not in the mood to hear her yell at me. "Where were you? I've been calling you all night, without an answer. What's the use in having a cell phone if you refuse to answer it for your own mother?" She narrows her eyes at me "What's wrong with you? Are you on drugs, Sasuke.?"

Out of the corner of the my eye I think I just saw her cross herself. If she starts lighting the memorial candles and began praying to my dead dad, I'm seriously gonna lose it.

"I was drunk," I tell her. "And now I'm hungover. Answering your call would've killed the buzz, so I ignored it."

I hear her suck in a shocked breath, then I feel something whack me in the back of my head. Her shoe.

"Isn't that child abuse?" I ask her.

"It would be, if you were a child. You're eighteen, Sasuke. You're a man now. Act like it.!"

She slams the door shut. The sound is like a jackhammer banging against my skull, which I'm sure is exactly what she intended. Mikoto isn't subtle, that's for damn sure.

The room is finally a sanctuary, and I close my eyes. My peace is short-lived, though, because I hear the door creak as someone opens it. "You gonna hit me with another shoe?" I mumble against the pillow.

"Nah," Itachi's voice echoes through my head. "Mikoto told Sai and me to come in here to make sure you're not dead, which is pretty much what she thought when you didn't answer your cell last night."

Itachi and Sai-the tag team from hell. They're the last people I need shit from right now. If they decide to trail me, too, I'll have an entire entourage.

"I'm fine."

"Then sit up and talk to us."

"Okay, in that case I'm not fine. Go away." I moan. "Unless you want me to puke all over you."

"What happened to you and Sakura last night?" Itachi asks.

I shrug. "Nothing. We're history."

Sai chuckles. "Yeah, right. Believe me, I've been in the same condition you're in, bro. Getting shitfaced over a girl isn't a solution. Talk to her and work it out."

"I'm not talking about it."

I open one eye and see Itachi crouching beside the bed. "I'm not letting you fuck up like we did."

"Face the fats, Itachi. I'm already a fuckup, and I don't intend to change that fat anytime soon."