Disclaimer: Everything familiar belongs to JE and the creators of Criminal Minds.
Warning: Adult Situations
Chapter 38: Friday, August 26th, 1500-1800
Mrs. Morelli's House
Joe's POV
During the flight back to Trenton I tried to evaluate how everything went from being good between Stephanie and me a few days ago to be so horrible. I guess she figured out that I was with Connie and Terry when she called, but hey, my boys were lonely. I have a high libido. Even though we had sex all day on Friday, she doesn't allow me to do anything that I like. She wants oral sex and foreplay; I want to take her in the ass. Then, I get down to Miami, and I see that she and Manoso are all cuddly and close. It still haunted me that he said that when they shared a bed, Stephanie was all over Manoso. I've tried cuddling with her at night, but she pushes me away, saying that she's too hot or that she can't sleep if I'm touching her, but she has no problem sleeping wrapped up in with Ranger.
I can't help but think back to the morning when Ranger was staying with Stephanie during Scrog. I went to her apartment, determined to move in with her because I was afraid that Ranger was staying with her and putting her in danger. I thought that he would be sleeping on the couch like she claimed she did when she stayed at Rangeman, but I knew, deep down, that they were sharing a bed. I was outside of her apartment for a few minutes before I attempted to open her door, and I could have sworn I heard her moan. I don't think they were having sex, yet. I think they were starting to engage in foreplay. I sure hope that I broke the mood. But then again, why would he engage in foreplay. My morning wood is so hard that I can cut diamonds with it. I don't need any foreplay to get my engines revved. I usually kiss my Cupcake then bring it home. She never complains.
But I digress. I know my mother is going to question me on where Stephanie is and why she didn't return with me from Miami. I don't know how I'm going to deal with her questions. I'm sure she has been on the phone with Mrs. Plum, who is assuring my mother that Stephanie will do her Burg duty and come back with me, to support me in my time of need. Hmph. She doesn't want to support me, only to support that thug and his daughter.
I can't blame her for wanting to help Julie. The little interaction I've had with Ranger's daughter shows me that she is a strong young lady, resilient and kind. She is innocent and didn't deserve to lose her family or the rape that occurred. I do understand why Steph is there, it hurts, though. As I pull up to my mother's house, I brace myself for the Italian Inquisition. Grandma Bella Morelli is dead. The Burg often forgets that she was my father's mother because my mother and she got along so well. My mother's mother died when I was three, so I don't remember her. None of the men in my family lived beyond forty-five years old, so I feel like my life is ticking away.
I leave my car and walk into my mother's house. I hug her and kiss her, sharing in the grief of losing Grandma Bella. We sit down at the kitchen table, and mom informs me that my sister-in-law Theresa and my sister Cathy helped to make the arrangements for Grandma's wake and funeral.
"Joseph, where's Stephanie?"
"In Miami, Mom."
"Why is she still in Miami?"
"Manoso's teenage daughter lost her parents and siblings in a home invasion last week. The men who killed her family also raped her. Manoso asked Stephanie to help him with his daughter. His daughter, Julie, has a broken arm, broken ribs, and several cuts and bruises."
"Doesn't he have any sisters who can help?"
"I think he has a few, but from what I understand, three are married with kids of their own and live in Newark. The youngest is unmarried and is also helping, but Julie wants Stephanie. Do you remember when Stephanie helped to get that kidnapped girl?"
"Yes, that was when the poor girl shot a man in Stephanie's apartment."
"That girl is Julie. Stephanie and Julie e-mail or talk on the phone several times a week. They developed a strong bond. I've heard her talk to Julie when Steph has stayed at my house. Julie feels comfortable with Stephanie."
"Joe, are you and Stephanie ever going to get married?"
I sigh. Here is the million-dollar question. "Mom, I don't know, but I'm leaning towards no, but hoping fo yes. She is mine, and has been for years."
"Joseph, your grandmother left you a letter, along with your siblings and the rest of the grandchildren. I want you to read it before we continue this conversation."
I take the letter from my mom and read it. The words are haunting, and they make me question my thought, my beliefs, and my future dream. I am broken from my musing by my mother's next question.
"Why do you think Stephanie is yours? Do you love Stephanie?"
How do I answer that question? The answer is complicated. "Mom, I love Stephanie, I have never pictured myself married to anyone else. I've been thinking about what I want in a mate, and I want a woman who wants to be a housewife. Heck, I really don't mind if she has a job or wants to work, but only if she is working in a school or as a nurse, secretary, or factory worker. I want my wife to have a safe job, to always be there for the kids. I know that every day that I go to work could be my last. I don't want that risk with my wife as well. I want a woman who will stay home with our children, participate in the PTA, and take care of my house. I want a woman who will have dinner on the table every night, dinner that she cooks as opposed to buying from a restaurant. I need a woman who can match my libido. Stephanie is not that woman right now, but I think that someday, she will be that woman. Yes, someday down the line she may consent to have children, but I don't picture her as a stay-at-home mom. I picture her always working. Then again, I know that once she has children, she'll quit her job to keep her child safe. I know she has motherly instincts, they are just buried."
"You can't force her to change for you. If that's what you want her to do, then you need to let her go, Joseph. However, you are not getting any younger. You need to find a woman and settle down. You need to stop cheating, stop trying to justify your actions. Your father cheated on me, and it killed me. I can only imagine how upset it would make your wife, or how upset Stephanie would be if she found out. Unless you sit down and have a serious conversation with Stephanie about what she wants for her future, you won't know if you are compatible. From where I'm sitting, I don't think that you will ever marry Stephanie. If you were that important to her, if she were in love with you, she'd be sitting next to you right now, not in Miami helping her friend and his daughter."
I look down at my shoes, knowing my mother is correct. "You're right mom; I do need to change. I'm going to reevaluate my relationship with Stephanie and work to determine what I really want for my future. I'm going to stop my womanizing ways. If I decided that Stephanie is not who I want or need, then I will let her go. Thank you for listening and helping me, Mom."