Author's Note: I have actually finished this story now, so it's just a matter of getting all the chapters up. :)
Thanks again to my one reviewer :)
Chapter Thirty-Six: My Whole World, Well It's Falling Apart
Tears immediately filled my eyes. This couldn't be happening. Cassy and Mike… they couldn't go through this again! And Molly! She's so small! How could she possibly have such a horrible disease! It just wasn't fair! How could this happen to her?
"Callie? Are you ok?"
I didn't say anything.
"Callie, we'll get her through this. Medicine has come far, we can treat this. Hopefully she'll be able to live a normal, healthy life."
"But Addie, they already went through this once, with Lacey. They can't do it again. They just can't!" The tears were flowing freely down my cheeks now.
"We'll figure it out Callie, we'll figure it. I'm coming to the front entrance of the hospital, meet me there."
I nodded, forgetting Addison couldn't see me, and hung up the phone. I met Addie, who was cradling the tiny baby in her arms, in the front entrance. I was carrying the car seat that I had left in the staff room. I set it on the floor and took the sleeping infant from Addison's arms.
"I'm so sorry Callie."
I just shook my head.
Addison didn't' say anything else as she helped me place the baby in her car seat without waking her up. We buckled her in and Addison carried the diaper bag while I carried Molly.
"I cancelled my surgery this afternoon." Addison told me quietly. "They will make do for another day. I'm going to come home with you. I don't think you should be alone right now."
I just nodded, too exhausted to argue.
I strapped Molly's seat into my car and went to get into the driver's seat.
"No, I don't think so." Addison took my hand. "I'll drive, ok?"
Again, I just nodded.
Addison opened the passenger side door for me and I got in and did up my seat belt. I couldn't focus; I couldn't concentrate on anything except for the fact that I'm going to have to tell a wonderful family, that is finally happy, that their youngest daughter has the disease that almost killed their middle child. How could I hurt them like that? How could I be the one to turn their lives around again?
Addison drove me home and then got Molly out of the back seat. I unlocked the door and let them both in. Addison set Molly down on the counter and I unbuckled her from her car seat. I held her close to me, wrapped up in a blanket. She was warm and smelt like pink. It was hard to describe, that baby smell, but I always thought they smelt pink. I let a few more tears drift down my cheeks while I slowly rocked the sleeping baby. I didn't want to put her down, afraid she might stop breathing at any moment. As a surgeon, I knew that leukemia took some time, and if we caught it early enough, Molly will probably be fine. But as a pregnant woman, holding a tiny baby who has been part of my family for a few months now, I felt hopeless. I felt hurt. I felt betrayed by God, even though it had been a while since I was really able to believe in God.
Addison placed her hand on my arm, my lack of response probably beginning to frighten her a little. She wrapped her arms around me from behind, holding me tight as I continued to let my tears fall freely. She then gently took the baby from my arms. I didn't fight her. She took the baby to the spare bedroom where a playpen had been set up for her. Addison placed Molly in her bed and covered her with her blanket. She set a couple toys in the play pen as well, and then came back to me.
"Callie, this isn't your fault." She told me gently.
"I know." I told her honestly. "But I still feel awful."
"Why?"
"I don't want to have to tell this family that their youngest daughter is dying." I told her bluntly. "They are happy, and they deserve to be happy. I can't do this to them."
Addison wrapped her arms around me once more.
We both sat down on the couch and Addison turned on the T.V. She kept her arms around me almost the entire time. We watched T.V. until Molly woke up at three.
"I'll get her," Addison told me, indicating to me that I should stay sitting.
She went into the bedroom and I could hear her talking to Molly. She brought the smiling baby out into the living room and placed her on my lap.
"Look at her." She told me softly. "Look at how happy she is; look at how healthy she is. She can come through this Callie, and she will. It'll be hard, you're right. It's going to be extremely hard on the family. But this little girl isn't going to have anything bad happen to her. You just wait, she'll survive this."
At five o'clock I packed Molly's diaper bag back up and placed her back into her car seat. "I'm fine Addison, I promise. I'll call you when I get home, ok?"
"Ok." Addison gave me a hug.
I dropped Addison off at the hospital before driving down to the restaurant to meet Cassy, Mike, and the kids for dinner. I left Molly's car seat in the car, carrying just the baby and her diaper bag into the restaurant.
Cassy, Mike, the kids, and Erica were already there.
"You made it," I smiled at Erica. She stood up from the table and kissed my lips before taking the baby from my arms.
"Of course I did. I had to find time to spend with my family before they went back home." She smiled at me.
I tried to keep my fake smile plastered on my face, but I could tell Erica could see right through it. Her eyes told me she was concerned and wanted to know what was wrong, but I just subtly shook my head, indicating I would tell her later.
Erica gave Molly a kiss on top of the head and then handed her to Cassy.
"Did you have fun with Auntie Callie?" Cassy asked Molly in a baby voice. "I'm sure you did, I'm sure you did! Did you miss mommy?" Molly giggled.
"She sure did." I assured Cassy with a smile.
"Was she good?" Cassy asked.
"Oh yeah, she was wonderful. Instead of taking her to the nursery during my surgery I actually had Addison watch her. Addison loved it."
"I'm glad you had fun." Cassy smiled.
Dinner went smoothly. I promised myself I would enjoy dinner and worry about telling Cassy the truth after dinner. Once we were home, the kids in bed, the house quite. I would tell Cassy and Mike their world was about to fall apart then.
Erica kept throwing concerned glances at me, but I shrugged it off. I would tell her when I told Cassy and Mike.
Dinner went to fast. Before I knew it, we were piled back in our cars and headed back home. I took Molly and Erica with me, since Erica had gotten a ride with Mike and Cassy and Molly's seat was still buckled in my car.
"What's up?" Erica asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Callie, I know something is going on, why won't you tell me?"
"I will tell you soon," I promised. "But I have to tell Cassy and Mike at the same time, ok? Don't worry, you'll know soon."
Thankfully Erica didn't push it.
When we got home, Cassy and Mike got Noah and Lacey ready for bed while Owen and Maddy watched cartoons on the T.V. Erica held Molly on her lap and I tried to keep my mind busy by tidying up the kitchen, then the living room, and then Erica and my room.
Once the younger kids were in bed, Cassy and Mike told the older kids to get ready for bed. Mike helped them while Cassy bathed Molly and then fed her before putting her in her bed.
Before I knew it, all the kids were sleeping.
"Cassy, Mike? can I talk to you guys for a moment?" I gestured for them to follow me into the kitchen. I got a bottle of wine out of the fridge and took four glasses out of the cupboard.
"What do you want to talk about Callie?" Mike asked, confused.
"I have some… not so great news."
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