It's dinner at the grandparents once again, and Emily and the girls are sitting, quietly, at the dining room table. Emily is looking at her watch while Lorelai and her daughter are staring very hard at the roast that is in front of them.
"Mom?" Lorelai says, desperately.
"No." Emily says, sternly.
Lorelai sighs. "We're starving."
"We're waiting for your father."
"It's gonna get cold."
"We're waiting for your father."
"We've been waiting forever."
"We have not."
"Forever. Godot was just here, he said: 'I ain't waiting for Richard,' grabbed a roll and left. It's been forever." Lorelai says, dramatically.
"When we gather as family, we eat as one. We don't eat in shifts, you know that, and so does Richard."
"When did he get that antique car?" Rory asks.
Emily rolls her eyes. "A couple of horrible weeks ago."
"What happened to that oil-painting hobby?" Lorelai asks as she digs around in her purse.
"Well, you know your father. He couldn't foresee raveling Cezanne he lost interest, so he bought that car." Emily explains as she watches Lorelai pass a piece of candy bar over to Lauren. "Lorelai!' She exclaims.
Lauren quickly grabs the candy bar and puts it in her mouth. "Mom, it's not dinner. It's just my private stash." Lorelai tells her.
"It's eating, and we're not eating." Emily looks over at Lauren, who sighs and spits the chocolate out of her mouth.
"You know, you're bound by the rules of the Geneva Convention just like everyone else." Richard walks in still dressed in his mechanic clothes. "Hey. No one told me it was casual Friday." Lorelai jokes.
"Hello, everyone." Richard smiles. "You haven't started?"
"Of course we haven't started." Emily tells him. "We were waiting for you. I thought you were almost done."
"Well, I was, but this car has a mind of its own. As I turned to leave, it began spraying a green solution at me."
"Yuck." Lauren grimaces.
"Yuck, indeed." Richard agrees. "Well, go on, start, no sense in waiting for me."
Lorelai jumps up with excitement as she takes her fork and starts to cut the roast. "Stop!" Emily demands.
"Gomer said." Lorelai says.
"We are waiting for you, Richard. In thirty-five years, I have never started a dinner without you unless you were out of town or ill. Elsa, take everything away and keep it warm." Emily calls out to the maid. She looks back at Richard. "Now, please go upstairs and get ready so we can enjoy a nice family dinner together."
Richard sighs. "I'll be right back."
"Right back, Dad." Lorelai pleads. "In fact, change on the way upstairs, make it a navy shower, quick soap, quick rinse, and no excessive posing!" The maid walks in and clears the table as they all watch in sadness. "Hungry."
Rory and Lauren walk into the diner with Lorelai before heading off to school and work. Luke is standing near the door, pouring coffee to a customer.
"Hey, there. Anywhere?" Lorelai asks him.
"Anywhere you want." Luke tells her.
Lorelai looks around and walks over to a random guy. "Could you move, please?"
"What?" He asks, looking confused.
Luke walks up behind her. "Anywhere where there's no people."
"Like I'm a mind reader." She scoffs. "I was just joking." She tells the guy as she leads her girls to an empty table. "Hm. That's funny."
"What?" Rory asks.
"Something different here, something changed." Lorelai says as she looks around the diner.
"Impossible."
"No. There's something."
"I'd be very disappointed if something changed in here." Lauren says.
"Why are you so anti-change?" Lorelai asks.
"Because most change sucks."
"I agree." Rory says.
Lorelai gasps when she looks up at the wall behind the counter. "The chalkboard."
"What about it?" Rory asks as they look at it.
"Luke's special omelette." Lorelai reads. "That is brand new."
"A new special?" Lauren asks, looking a bit bummed. "His four-slice French toast has been up there since I was born."
"You just got to let that go, baby." Lorelai says, dramatically.
Luke walks up. "What can I get you?"
"You have a new special."
"I sure do."
"Nice." Lorelai smiles. "What is the special omelette.?"
"You won't like it."
"How do you know?"
"Because you've been eating here for years and I know what you like, you won't like it."
"Can I at least hear what it is?"
"Fine. It's three eggs with bits of bacon." Luke tells her.
"I like bacon."
"Cubed tomatoes."
"Sounds good."
"Swiss cheese and a dash of oregano."
"A dash, he says."
"I've got other customers." Luke glares.
"I'm gonna go with the special omelette, with a side of bacon." Lorelai tells him.
"There's bacon in the omelette."
"Skip the bacon."
"The side of bacon?"
"The bacon in the omelette."
"Hold the bacon."
"Can I get Jack cheese instead of Swiss? Swiss is so stringy."
"Fine. Jack cheese."
"Also, I think I'm allergic to oregano, so hold that, too, and some coffee."
"So, just eggs, tomatoes, and Jack cheese?" Luke reads from his notepad.
"Not too many tomatoes."
"Light on the tomatoes."
"Very light, just a teeny, tiny amount, practically none."
"I'm skipping the tomatoes. It's an omelette with Jack cheese."
"Perfect."
"You did this on purpose."
"Did what?"
"French toast for me." Rory tells him.
"And a side of bacon." Lauren adds.
Luke rolls her eyes and walks away as Lorelai laughs. "That was cruel." Rory smiles.
"I know." Lorelai looks back at the sign. "Look how hard he worked on that sign and everything. Look at the handwriting. It's so precise, so determined. It's focused Luke." Lorelai says, amused.
"That's Jess's handwriting." Rory tells her.
"Really? How do you know Jess's handwriting?"
"Oh, well, I lent him a book, and he wrote some stuff in it."
"He vandalized one of your books?"
"No. He didn't vandalize it, he wrote in the margins, thoughts and stuff."
"What, like, 'play basketball, eat a sandwich,' stuff like that?" Lorelai questions.
"No. Like margin stuff. People like Mark Twain wrote in margins." Rory tells her.
"Pilot of steamboat, write Huckleberry Finn."
Rory folds her arms out of frustration. "Forget it."
"No, I'm sure margin writing is common." Dean walks into the diner. "Oh, hey. You didn't tell me Dean was joining us." Lorelai whispers.
"Hi." Dean smiles as he walks up and kisses Rory on her lips.
"What are you doing here?" Rory asks.
"I just dropped by to say hello."
"How'd you know we were here?"
"You're always here."
"We're not always here."
Lorelai and Lauren give Rory a strange look. "Do you want to eat with us, Dean?" Lorelai asks.
"Rory, is that okay?" Dean asks.
"Yes. You don't have to ask." Rory tells him.
Dean sits down and Luke walks up. "Hey. We're four." Lorelai informs him.
"I did the math. You gonna eat something?" Luke asks Dean.
"Sure, yeah." Dean looks at the chalkboard. "I'll take the special omelette."
Lorelai and Lauren laugh. "You put him up to this?" Luke asks, glaring at Lorelai.
"No, I did not." Lorelai gasps.
"Sure. You don't even know what's in it." Luke says to him.
Dean shrugs. "I'm not picky."
"So, you'll send it back after I make it?"
"No."
"Right. I'll come back when I've got time for this." Luke walks away.
Dean looks confused. "What was that all about?"
"I think it was a little something in your attitude, mister." Lorelai jokes.
Dean looks at Rory who simply smiles at him.
Lorelai walks into the kitchen, at the inn, where Sookie is counting her stirs.
"30, 31, 31."
"Sookie, look." Lorelai comes in holding a box.
"33, 34, 35. Can't look. Making marinque." Sookie tells her as she continues to stir. "37. Fine science."
"You got a package."
"39. Got to count to 40. Can't over whip."
"I think it's your wedding invitations."
Sookie flings the spooin in the air, and tosses the bowl aside. "Whoo!" She yells as she and Lorelai jump up and down, happily. "Gimme! I got to see them!" Lorelai sets to the box down and opens it. "Oh, you're gonna love these." Sookie says as they each grab one. "They're pearly white with this beautiful lavender strip." Sookie reads the invitation. "I'm gonna choke somebody by the neck until brains ooze out of their ears." She says, suddenly getting angry.
"What? They're beautiful."
"The name, look at the name!"
"-the marriage of his daughter Susie St. James." Lorelai reads.
"Who's Susie St. James?"
"I think it's you." Lorelai frowns.
"What am I gonna do?"
"It can be changed." Lorelai assures her.
"These have to go out in a week!" Sookie panics.
Lorelai grabs her phone and dials the number to the printing place. "We're calling it right now."
Michel walks in with an unexpected smile on his face. "Good morning. Beautiful morning."
"It sucks from where I'm sitting." Sookie glares.
"Heartbreaking." He says, sarcastically. "Lorelai, you remember I have tomorrow afternoon off?"
"I remember. Big plans?" Lorelai asks.
"Yes. My mother is coming to visit."
"Hello, yes." Lorelai says over the phone. "Customer service, please. Thanks." She grimaces at Michel. "Sorry."
"About what?"
"You said your mother's coming."
"But I'm excited. I never get to see her." Michel smiles.
"Oh. I must be projecting. Your mother's coming for a visit!"
"She's coming for three days."
"Is she staying here?"
"No. She stays with me, of course."
"In your tiny place?"
"Oh, she's fine with it. We stay up all night gabbing and watching movies. We have a ball!"
"Wow. I can't wait to meet her. Oh, hello." She says, through the phone. "We have a problem with some wedding invitations we ordered. Okay. They're transferring me." She tells Sookie.
"I heard that." Sookie says, impatiently.
"He is really happy about this mother coming to visit." Lorelai says, as Michel walks out.
"I heard that, too."
"Totally foreign to me." Lorelai laughs. "Hi. Great! I'm going to pass you over to my friend who has a problem with some merchandise she ordered. Hold on one sec." Lorelai holds the phone to her chest as she looks at Sookie. "Listen to me, I have experience dealing with people who screwed something up. You have a better chance if you don't get all hysterical."
"Okay." Sookie says.
"Okay." Lorelai gives Sookie the phone.
"How dare you do this me!" Sookie yells. "You're ruining my wedding! It's the most important day of my life. It's my life, not Susie St. James! Are you listening to me!?"
Lorelai walks into the lobby and sees Rory standing around. "Hey. I thought you couldn't get here till later."
"Our meeting didn't go as long as I thought it would." Rory tells her as she follows Lorelai behind the front desk.
"Well, lucky for me, more work for you. Here, chronological order, please." Lorelai gives her a stack of folders. "So, how was your day?"
"I got an 'A' on my Physics test and I finished Candide, and convinced a boy that Paris wouldn't attack his Rabbi."
"So, uneventful?"
"Pretty much."
Lauren walks into the inn and over to the front desk. "Oh, yay." Lorelai smiles at her youngest. "Both daughters are here. I can get out of here early." Lorelai kisses Lauren on top her head as she passes by.
"So, that's why you wanted me here." Lauren grins.
Rory slides a stack of folders over to Lauren. "Here ya go."
Lauren grabs a stool and sits next to her sister. "Great."
"How was school?" Lorelai asks her.
Lauren shrugs. "It was school. I went to class, I went to lunch, and I went to class again, and now I'm here."
"I'm so glad my kids aren't bored at school." Lorelai says, sarcastically.
"Hey, Mom." Rory says, looking up at Lorelai. "I know you'll probably not want to do this."
"Yes, I will. Unless it's something I don't want to do."
"Do you want to be the parent advisor on my Economics project?"
Lorelai grimaces. "Oh, Rory."
"I'm kind of in a spot."
"No one else can do it?"
"Nope."
"You checked?"
"Yes."
"Double-checked?"
"Yes."
"And no one else can do it, so you came slumming after me, and I'm your last choice?"
"Of course."
"I appreciate that." Lorelai grins.
"I'm totally sick." Rory frowns.
"If you're stuck, I'll do it."
"Thanks."
"But oh, what about your grandfather, retired business titan?" Lorelai suggests.
"What about him?"
"He'd be perfect."
"But this is a business project and the word 'business' has been taboo in that house since he left the firm. Asking him might remind him of that and upset him."
"Or he'll be thrilled that you thought of him."
"You're not saying that because you don't want to do it?" Rory asks, curiously.
"No. I really think he would enjoy helping you." Rory sighs, thinking about it. "Then I wouldn't have to feel guilty about being so reluctant to help you out myself."
"Alright." Rory says, rolling her eyes. "I'll give it a shot."
"Good girl."
"Would you really have felt guilty?"
"No, but I would have felt guilty about not feeling guilty, and that could go on forever."
"Miss Gilmore in the vicious cycle."
Rory walks up to her grandparents' driveway where Richard is working on his car.
"Hey, Grandpa." Rory greets him.
Richard looks behind him and smiles at his grand-daughter. "Rory, this is a surprise."
"I was just in the area, and I thought I'd pay a call."
"Well, how very Continental of you. I would hug you, but I have various forms of viscous fluid on my clothing."
"I'll take a rain check."
"Very good."
Rory looks at the engine. "How's she running?"
"She's a bit obstinate today."
"Oh, girls can get that way."
"Indeed." Richard laughs. "So, you were in the neighborhood?"
"Yeah, and I actually have a little favor to ask you." Rory tells him, nervously.
"Ask away."
"Okay. There's this project at school, and it's for my Economics class."
"Good subject. Pragmatic."
"Yeah. And we have to come up with a consumer product, all make believe and there's sort of a contest at the end and we sort of need an advisor." Rory tells him.
"An advisor?"
"Someone who's experienced in business who can come to a few meetings, make suggestions. I mean, I totally understand if you can't do it, but I just thought I would ask."
"Well, I'm not sure how much help I could be." Richard tells her. "I've never actually created a consumer product."
"That's okay." Rory smiles. "We kids haven't either."
Richard laughs, lightly. "Yes, I suppose you haven't."
"If you can't do it or if you don't want to do it, I totally understand."
"Well, things are a little hectic right now."
"Oh, yeah, I know." Rory says, understanding.
"And it is short notice, after all."
"Very short." Rory agrees. You know what, forget I even asked."
"Rory, I didn't know you were here." Emily says, happily, as she walks over to the two.
"Hi, Grandma." Rory hugs Emily.
"You didn't hug your grandfather, did you?"
"I took a rain check. Well, I better go."
"You just got here. We have cookies. Would you like cookies?" Emily asks.
"No, thank you. Mom's expecting me at the inn. And Grandpa, really, don't worry about it. I just thought I would ask."
"I'm fine, Rory. Thank you for asking." Richard says, sincerely.
"Bye." Rory walks away.
"Ask what? What did she ask?" Emily asks her husband.
"Oh, something for Economics class. It's nothing really." Richrad tells her.
"That doesn't sound like nothing. What about her Economics class? Is she having trouble?"
No, Emily. She merely asked me to participate in some project at school and I respectfully declined."
"You declined?" Emily exclaims.
"Leave it, Emily."
"Why would you decline?"
"Let's talk about it later, Emily. I'm busy."
"Busy?" Emily argues. "You've been poking around that stupid engine for three weeks and all it does is spray on you. You're not too busy."
"Emily, I am in the middle of something and I don't expect you to understand it." Richard says, agitated.
"You're not going to help her?"
"Can we talk about this later?"
"Well, I never thought I'd see the day-"
"What day?"
"-the day Richard Gilmore would disappoint his grand-daughter like this."
"Emily, please." Richard sighs.
"Is this how it's going to be from now on?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I just want to know what to expect from you because the bouncing from one thing to another, the moping in silence in your den, all of that I accepted, but your turning your back on Rory."
"I did not turn my back on her!"
"You adore that little girl. You grand-daughters mean everything to you."
"Emily."
"Are you that lost?" Richard turns around and turns his radio on, loudly. "I'm incredibly disappointed in you, Richard!" Emily yells.
Michel and Lorelai are standing behind the front desk as Lorelai signs some papers.
"Here, and here." Michel says, pointing to the signature line. "Cleaning supplier, there." Lorelai signs. "Here, staff insurance forms. Initial here. Date it here."
"And I just-"
"You just okayed the vaccination of all those filthy ducks in the souch pond." Michel tells her.
"Oh!" Lorelai smiles. "Aren't I nice?"
"Yes, a regular Dr. Dolittle." Michel says, somberly.
"Michel!" A woman yells as she walks into the inn.
Michel looks up with a huge smile on his face. "Zeely!"
"You are gorgeous. Come!" Michel walks over to his mother and hugs her.
"What are you doing here? I was going to pick you up at the airport." Michel tells her. "You wicked creature."
"I had to come early. I wanted to buy presents before I see you. I know you are a materialistic vulture." She teases. "Alright. Back up. " She demands as Michel backs up and turns around for his mother. "Oh, thank God I have the perfect son. If you had been ugly I don't know what I would have done."
"Boarding school?"
"In Switzerland."
"Come." Michel laughs, taking his mom's hand and leading her towards Lorelai. "Lorelai, this is my mother, Giselle."
Lorelai shakes Giselle's hand. "Well, it's very nice to meet you." Lorelai smiles, kindly.
"Oh! Those eyes, are they real?" She asks Lorelai.
"Yes, they are."
"Oh, God is terribly cruel to bestow those eyes and that to one person."
"I'm sorry, can you be my mom, too?" Lorelai jokes.
"I'm going to show her around, okay?" Michel says.
"Make sure you see Sookie." Lorelai tells him.
"Why?"
"She wants to meet your mom."
"Yes, Michel, I must meet your friends. I did not raise you to be rude." Giselle tells him.
"You did, too." Michel says.
"No, I didn't. Come. Show me off."
Lorelai smiles as she watches Michel and his mom. She was a bit jealous of his relationship with her, but it wore off as soon as the phone rings. "Hello?" She answers. "Uh. HI." Lorelai says, nervously. "Yes, this is Lorelai Gilmore. Uh-huh." Lorelai looks up and sees Lauren walk into the inn. "And for how long?" Lauren gives her mom a small smile before dropping her things and sitting down on the stool, to finish her work from yesterday. "Well, thank you calling me. I will straighten everything out." Lorelai hangs up, still looking at her daughter. "Hey. How was school?" She asks.
"It was fine." Lauren tells her.
"Uh-huh." Lorelai nods. "Didn't you have a test in Algebra? How'd you do?"
Lauren shrugs. "I don't know yet. I'm not very good at math, you know that."
Lorelai nods. "Yeah, I do."
Lorelai couldn't believe Lauren was actually lying to her right now. She grabs the folders away from Lauren. "What are you doing?" Lauren asks, looking confused.
"Lauren, I know you didn't go to your Algebra class."
Lauren frowns. "Yes, I did."
"You have been skipping that class for a week and half now. Your teacher just called me." Lauren sighs, knowing she's been caught. "Why aren't you going to class?"
"I don't know."
"Try again."
"I don't know." Lauren glares.
"Is it because Elizabeth isn't there anymore?"
"Not everything is about Elizabeth!" Lauren says, looking angry.
"Lauren, Elizabeth has been gone for about a week and half, and suddenly you're not going to class. Elizabeth was in that class with you."
"So, what? Why does everything I do have to be about Elizabeth? You can't blame everything on her anymore, Mom. She lives in California, remember?"
"I remember." Lorelai says, because of that Lauren has been acting out more.
"Maybe I just really hate math. Ever thought about that?" Lauren asks.
"You're not great at math, that I know, but you know enough to pass it. What is going on with you?"
Before Lauren could say anything, though, Michel and his mom, Giselle, walk back into the lobby so that Michel can grab his things. "I am just coming to get my stuff, then I am taking my mother out into the town." Michel tells Lorelai.
"Oh, great. Go to Luke's." Lorelai smiles.
Michel glares at Lorelai. "I will not."
"Oh, who's this?" Giselle asks, looking down at Lauren. "You are much too beautiful to be walking around with a frown on that face. Those bright green eyes and that face deserve to be lifted."
Lorelai smirks at how nice Giselle is being to her daughter. "Giselle, this is my daugher Lauren. Lauren, this is Michel's mom."
"Nice to meet you." Lauren says, kindly.
"A daughter?" Giselle asks Lorelai. "You are far too young to have a child."
"I have an older sister." Lauren tell her. "She's perfect. You'd be more impressed with her." Lauren looks up at Lorelai before she walks away. Lorelai sighs as she watches her daughter walk out of the inn.
Rory and Richard are walking down the hallway, of Chilton, to go to the first meeting.
"I really appreciate you doing this, Grandpa." Rory says, sincerely.
"Well, of course." Richard says, even though it was obvious he didn't want to be there.
"I mean, I know you weren't really thrilled with the idea."
"No, no, that's not true."
"But I told everybody to have their idea pitches prepared so that we can get you in and and out quickly."
"Rory, this is an assignment. We will give it the time it requires." Richard tells her.
"Okay."
"However, efficient is always best."
"I totally understand." Rory leads Richard into the classroom where Paris and the rest of the group are waiting. "Hey. Everyone this is my grandfather Richard Gilmore. This is Louise, Madeline, Paris, Brad, and Chip." Rory introduces.
"Nice to meet you all." Richard says.
"So, do you want to say a few words before we start?" Rory asks him while they all sit down.
"Oh, no. I'm just here to advice. I'll sit back here and observe and advice if necessary." Richard says as he sits off to the side of the group.
"Okay. I guess we can start with the idea pitches." Rory tells the group." Who wants to go first?"
"I will." Louise says.
"Okay, Louise has the floor."
"I couldn't find my lip gloss this morning, and I'd just bought it. It's the perfect shade of pink, plus it has this major shine with minor stickiness meaning no fear of your hair sticking to your face when it's windy." She explains.
"A coup." Madeline adds.
"I know. So, of course, fifteen minutes later, tardy and glossless. I left the house, and I had to rely on Madeline for my source of lip color. Not an ideal solution."
"Major skin-ton mismatch."
Paris was getting annoyed as she was listening to this whole thing. "I'm sorry, group leader." She says to Rory. "-could you ask the Pigeon Sisters if there is a point to this opus?"
"Louise, what's your idea?" Rory asks.
"A lipstick LoJack." Louise tells her.
"Excuse me?"
"A lipstick tracking device. You attach it to a tube, hook it up to a remote, and the next time you're searching, just point and shoot."
"I'd buy one." Madeline tells them.
"Okay, Louise, that's a very interesting idea, but I think we should think of something that appeals to both boys and girls." Rory says. "Anyone else?"
"Okay. I've got one." Madeline says. "A locker robot." Richard rolls his eyes. "It would talk and tell you facts, help you with your homework, carry your stuff, and you could fit it in your locker until you're ready to go home."
Rory smiles. "Okay, but that means that we would actually have to build a robot."
"Yes, we would."
"Who knows how to do that?"
"I don't know. He looks like he should know." Madeline points to Brad.
"I've never built a robot." Brad tells her.
"But you've tried, haven't you?" Louise asks, knowingly.
"Yes, I have."
"Okay. Let's just try to keep the ideas down to things that we can actually accomplish." Rory says. Paris gets up and grabs a few binders by her desk. "And I guess Paris is next."
Paris begins handing out the binders to everyone. "The average teenager spends seven hours a day at school. Seven hours where he or she is walking from class to class, indoors, outdoors, in all types of weather. At the same time, the same teenager is going through major physical changes within his or her own body. The combo of the action with the environment in addition to the hormonal imbalance can only lead to one thing: accidents."
"What are you talking about?" Madeline asks.
"Monday morning Muffin wakes up and looks in the mirror. 'Oh, no. I have a zit on my face. I'll just look down when I was so hunky football player won't notice.' And bam, Muffin smacks right into the cafeteria wall. That's got to hurt."
"Who's Muffin?"
"This is why I'm proposing manufacturing something that no teenager should be without. A first aid kit."
"A first aid kit?" Louise asks.
"Specially designed to fit in a locker with minimum space disruption. Band-aids, antiseptic, cotton balls, Q-tips, ace bandages, aspirin."
"I don't know. It's possible." Rory says. "Does anyone have any questions about it?"
"They sell these things in every drug store, right?" Richard asks as he looks through the binder.
"Yes, they do." Paris answers.
"There's also a registered nurse on campus. Her office would contain the products that you're talking about, correct?"
"Possibly."
"Well, what makes you think you could get a young person to spend good money on something that they could get for free, or at least, at a lower cost?"
"Because I know one thing about the modern teenager."
"And what is that?"
"You can get them to buy anything if it comes in a leopard print." Paris states.
"True." Louise agrees.
"We get them with style. We dress up the kits with sparkles, colors, pictures of bands, sport themes for boys, animal pictures for the puppy-and-unicorn bunch, chessboards for the Bobby Fischer freaks. A style for every taste. Plus, we use neon band-aids, pink or blue gauze for the bandages. Anything that seems young or flashy or bright." Paris explains.
"And this is how you intend to set the business world on its ear?" Richard asks.
"That's right."
"Tricked our first aid kits."
"For the locker."
"And you really think that's going to work?" Richard asks.
"Yes, I do."
"So, do I." Richard says, surprising them all.
"Really?"
"It's perfect. It's simple, it's easy to produce. The possibilities are endless. I love it."
"Well, I think we've got our product." Rory tells him.
"Now, we need to go through this point by point." Richard starts.
"Okay, let's do it." Paris agrees.
"Now, the secret to a great campaign is a great idea. We've got that. Let's move to finances. Uh. Do any of you have dinner plans? We're going to be here for a while. Let's all turn to page four. Here we go!"
Rory walks into the house just as the phone is ringing. She walks into the living room and sees Lorelai sitting on the couch, reading, clearly ignoring the phone.
"Hey!" Rory says.
"Ahh!" Lorelai grimaces.
"Mom?" Rory stumbles over to the phone. "Hello?" She answers, but someone has already hung up. "That ringing is not in your head, you know?" Rory tells her mom as she puts the phone back down.
"Oh! You got to read this Motley Crue book." Lorelai tells her as Rory sits on the couch, next to her. "I swear, you get to the point where Ozzy Osbourne snorts a row of ants and, you think, 'it cannot get any grosser.' And then you turn the page, and hello, yes it can! It's excellent!"
"Why didn't you answer the phone?"
"Because once you've experienced something 5,000 times, you need to move on."
"What are you talking about?"
"I knew who it was."
"Who?"
"The same person who's called the machine so many times that I heard it sigh."
"Dean?" Rory asks.
"Dean the Determined."
Rory sighs just as the phone rings again. "Man."
"$5 says I know who that is." Lorelai bets.
Rory grabs the phone. "Hello?" She answers.
"Rory, it's you're grandfather." Richard says.
Rory smiles. "Oh, hey, Grandpa." Rory puts her hand out to Lorelai.
Lorelai grabs her wallet off the table. "He did that on purpose." She says, giving Rory $5.
"I'd like to discuss tomorrow's meeting." Richard tells her.
"Okay." Rory says.
"I was thinking that we should relocate."
"Midtown?"
"Here."
"Your house?"
"It'll be more comfortable with infinitely better snacks."
"Yeah, that sounds great."
"Wonderful. I'll call the group."
"Okay then, I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Bye." Rory hangs up.
"What did he want?" Lorelai asks.
"He wanted to move the location of our meeting to his house and to cost you $5."
Lorelai smiles. "So, that's going well, huh? Grandpa doing that thing with you at school."
"Yeah. I think he's having fun with it."
"See? Did your brilliant mother call it or what?"
Rory rolls her eyes, playfully. "Yes, she did."
"You're damn lucky to have that woman in your life. You know that, don't you?"
"It's whispered in my ear every night."
"Good. Now, tell your sister how lucky she is to have me."
"Why? What happened?" Rory asks.
Lorelai sighs. "Well, your sister has not been going to algebra class for the past week now. Her teacher called me today."
"After a week she's just calling you now?" Rory asks, confused.
"Hey. She's not at Chilton." Lorelai reminds her.
"True. So, I'm assuming it's because Elizabeth isn't there anymore and that's the class she had with her?"
"You are correct."
"So, what are you going to do?"
Lorelai shrugs. "I'm not sure. We haven't really talked since she stormed out of the inn after calling her big sister perfect."
Rory grins. "That's so sweet."
"Yeah, I figured you'd think so." Lorelai laughs. "Hey. Check the machine so I can erase the messages."
"Alright." Rory walks over to the machine and hits play. 'Hi. It's me. It's 4:00. Call me when you get home.' Dean's voice plays through the machine. 'Hey. Uh. It's 4:30. I'm home. Call me.' '4:45. Where are you? I'll try paging you.' '5:30. Did you get my page? Call with the answer.' Rory looks at Lorelai. "They can't all be from him." 'I totally forgot you were getting home at six.'
"And yet, oddly, after remembering that information-" Lorelai says. 'Hey. It's 5:45, and I just thought I'd see if you got home early.' "I swear, that boy would make a good drinking game."
"This is crazy." Rory exclaims. "Ten messages?"
"Plus, the four I took before I stopped answering the phone." Lorelai says, handing Rory the messages.
"Right."
"Honey, you've got to ease up on that love potion you've been giving him or he's gonna start showing up at David Letterman's house soon."
"I know." Rory frowns.
"What's the matter?"
"14 messages." Rory tells her.
"Yeah. So, it's a little-"
"It's a little too much." Rory interrupts.
"So, what's up? You guys fighting or something?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean, did something happen to set off the phone craze?" Lorelai asks.
"No. Everything's been fine. Everything's been calm. No more incidents. I don't get it."
"Well, if I had to guess, I would say he's feeling insecure about something."
"Why?"
"Rory."
"But I spend every free moment with him. I call him. I page him-"
"I know. You've been good."
"Nothing seems to be good enough. Nothing seems to make things normal again."
"Give it some time." Lorelai assures her.
"I just want things to be the way they were."
"Oh, honey, relationships are hard. Sometimes you go through a weird patch and things get funky for a little while. But just give it a chance. Ride it out. Things will calm down again."
"I hope so. I'm gonna erase the messages."
"Can I come down now?" Lauren asks, poking her head out from the banister wall upstairs.
Lorelai looks confused. "I never sent you up there, weirdo."
"It felt like you did."
"Come down. I'm talking to your perfect sister." Lorelai teases.
Lauren rolls her eyes as she comes downstairs. "Very funny." Lauren sits down in the chair.
"You said it."
Rory sits back down next to Lorelai. "I am so glad you think I'm perfect, Lauren."
"Seriously?" Lauren glares at their mom.
"Again, you said it." Lorelai tells her.
"Whatever." Lauren starts to walk to the kitchen, but Lorelai grabs her hand, stopping her.
"Where are you going?"
"Away from you two."
"No. Come here." Lorelai pulls Lauren down between herself and Rory. "We need to talk about it."
"About what?"
"Why you are skipping algebra." Rory tells her.
"I just don't wanna go. It's not a big deal."
"Yeah, it kinda is, since you need to pass that class to get to the next grade."
"Look, nothing's wrong. I'll start going to class." Lauren tells them.
"Lauren, if you need extra help, I can tutor you." Rory suggests.
Lauren shakes her head. "No way. I'm good with my B. I don't want your help."
"Lauren." Lorelai scolds.
"I don't need anyone's help. This isn't about Elizabeth. This isn't about anything. I just don't want to be there. But if I have to go to make you both leave me alone about it, then I'll go. Whatever." Lauren walks to the kitchen.
Lorelai and Rory look at each other. "This is so about Elizabeth." Lorelai says as Rory nods her head.
Lorelai is on her way back to the front desk when Michel and his mom, Giselle, walk in laughing.
"Stop that. Stop making me laugh." Giselle tells her son. "You are trying to kill. You're making me laugh myself to death so you can get away with a crime."
"Your mind is evil." Michel laughs.
"Your soul is empty."
"Do you want some coffee?"
"Yes, darling. Thank you."
"I'll be right back." Michel goes into the kitchen as Giselle walks over to Lorelai.
"Hello, blue eyes."
"Hi, Giselle. How was lunch?" Lorelai asks.
"Oh, champagne, caviar. The usual." Giselle tells her.
"Sure." Lorelai nods.
"And then came the mounds of pasta with terrible things in it. It was perfect."
"You seem to be having a wonderful time."
"I am. I will miss him so much when I go home. But thank goodness he will have an extra five pounds to remember me by after eating all my pasta today, that dirty, thieving boy." Giselle laughs.
"Michel ate pasta?" Lorelai asks, surprised.
"Yes. Michel loves pasta. He eats it all the time."
"Not around us. Here it's all no-carb, low-cal. 'Let me see if I can eat less than lab rats do.'" Lorelai tells her.
"Lab rats?" Giselle questions.
"Better not explained. Anyway, I'm glad you got him eating pasta. He seems really happy."
"Coffee. Coffee." Michel happily walks in with two mugs.
Giselle takes a sip. "This is horrible."
"You will drink it and like it."
"You are a curse."
"Let's go shop."
"Yes. Let's go buy something completely useless and pay way too much money for it."
"I love it."
Giselle and Michel wave to Lorelai as they walk out. "That is so wrong." Lorelai says to herself just as the phone rings. "Hello?" She answers. "This is she. What? I'll be right there." Lorelai hangs up. "Dammit, Lauren."
Rory, Louise, Madeline, Brad, and Chip walk up to Rory's grandparents' door.
"We should have waited for Paris." Rory tells them.
"Hey. She's the one who threw a fit about leaving no later than 3:10." Louise says.
"She could be standing outside the school waiting for us."
"She has my cell phone number." Madeline tells her.
Louise looks confused. "I thought you lost your phone."
"I did. Oh."
Rory rings the doorbell. "We'll call her when we get inside." Paris suddenly opens the door, surprising them all. "Paris."
"Hey. You're right on time." Paris smiles, opening the door wider. "Come on in."
"Uh. Okay."
"In the dining room, everyone!" Richard yells.
They walk into the dining room and find it set with folders at each seat, along with a board for a presentation. "Wow." Rory says.
"Welcome, everyone to the first official board meeting of the Style Aid Corporation." Richard announces. "Will everyone please take a seat?" Everyone sits down. "Rory, you are group leader, which translate into chairman of the board which means you sit at the head of the table"
"But that's where you sit."
"Not today. Come on." Richard pulls the chair out for his grand-daughter as she sit sits. "Now, at the point, I would like to turn the meeting over to Paris, who will bring us up to date on our latest development. Paris."
"Thank you, Richard." Paris says. "First, let me say I'm glad to see you all here today at the beginning of what I think is going to be a very exciting experiment. Now, I'd like everyone to turn to page one in your presentation booklets." Brad picks up a pencil. "Hey!" She scolds. "We haven't got to the pencil part yet."
"Sorry." Brad says, slowly putting the pencil back down.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I give you-" Paris picks up a red box. "-the Rx 2002."
"Nice." Everyone says.
"Now, listed in front of you are all the contents contained in the Rx 2002, plus the additional style options, 12 in all. Every one of them waterproof, fireproof, and comes with a five-year warranty." She explains.
"Which is longer than most of your high school careers." Richard jokes.
"He is funny." Paris whispers to Rory, who grimaces slightly.
"Now, there's also a deluxe model with extra features designed to personalize your kit even more specifically for your needs." Richard tells them. "There will be a snap in C.D. case which can hold up to ten . There's a lighted vanity mirror and a divided compartment for make-up and knickknacks, a picture frame, and a hidden mini-vault for valuables which can be locked for safety."
"Terrific idea, Richard, really. Top-notch." Paris praises.
"Thank you, Paris."
"This is really amazing." Rory says. "I want one of these."
"Exactly the point. Let's check in with our marketing department. Uh. Madeline, Louise, what have you got for us?"
"Okay. First, we go for the obvious. Magazines." Madeline tells them.
"You know, Teen, Young Miss, Seventeen." Louise lists.
"Spin and Rolling Stone, especially to hit the guys."
"I heard that Jane's magazine also has a young, hip following." Richard says.
Rory grins. "How do you know about Jane magazine?"
"I have my ways, young lady."
"We should also place them in certain mall stores." Chip adds.
"I also think we should go straight to the source."
"The schools?" Paris asks.
"Why not? School bulletin boards. Websites. We can set up tables at football games and pep rallies."
Emily walks in. "Well, how is everything doing here?" She asks, enthused.
Richard sighs. "Just fine, Emily."
"Good. Is there enough food?"
"Yes, there's plenty of food."
"What about ice cream? Would anyone like-"
"Emily,-" Richard interrupts. "-we're in the middle of a business meeting."
Emily gasps. "Oh. I'm very sorry. Go back to your business meeting." Richard begins talking again. Emily bends down next to Rory. "He's smiling." She says, happily.
"I know." Rory smiles.
"He's smiling, and there's no oil on the carpet."
"Life is good."
"Yes, it is."
"Emily, please." Richard scolds again.
"I'm going. I'm going." Emily hurries out.
Lauren is sitting in the school office when Lorelai walks in.
"What happened?" Lorelai asks as she sits next to Lauren.
"I told you I didn't want to go back, but I did, and now I'm in trouble." Lauren tells her, clearly upset about whatever happened.
"Come on." Lorelai grabs her daughter's hand and leads her to the principal's office. Lorelai knocks and hears a faint 'come in.' "Hello?" She says, peeking her head in.
The principal looks up. "Oh, Miss. Gilmore. Thanks for coming."
Lorelai and Lauren walk in. "Yeah. Well, when you hear that your kid has been kicked out of class, you kinda want to know what's going on."
"Sit. Sit." The principal points to the two empty chairs in front of her desk. "Well, Miss. Gilmore, Lauren was kicked out of class because right when she walked in she flipped over a desk."
Lorelai gasps, looking wide eyed at her daughter. "You what?"
Lauren slides down into her chair. "There was someone in the seat." The principal tells her.
"Lauren!"
"He was in Elizabeth's seat." Lauren argues.
"We are aware that Lauren and Elizabeth were best friends." The principal says.
"Are." Lauren corrects her, getting a stern look from Lorelai.
"They never left each others side, but Elizabeth has moved away. Lauren, that is no longer her seat."
"Whatever." Lauren sighs.
"Lauren, we won't suspend you, but you will have to go to another classroom for algebra."
"Great!" Lauren jumps up. "I can go now?"
"Lauren, how about you step out while I talk to your mom?"
Lauren looks, nervously, at her mom and then back at the principal. "Why can't I stay while you talk to her?"
"Lauren." Lorelai points to the door. Lauren sighs and walks out. "I am so sorry. Lauren is just going through some stuff right now."
The principal shakes her head, understanding. "I know. I know. Lauren is becoming a teenager. We all understand that. But I wanted to talk to you about something else, actually."
Lorelai frowns. "What? Did she do something else?"
"Well-" The principal takes out Lauren's transcript and hands it to Lorelai. "-Lauren hasn't been keeping up with the class assignments. So, her grades are falling way behind." Lorelai looks through the transcript. Lauren has C's and a D. Her daughter has never got anything below a B before. "And I know she's been skipping class, but this goes beyond Elizabeth's move."
"Okay. Thanks for letting me know." Lorelai says, grabbing her purse. "I will figure it out. Thanks."
"Of course." The principal says as Lorelai walks out.
Lorelai pulls up and they find Dean outside washing Rory's car.
"Dean, hey, how's it going?" Lorelai asks as she and Lauren get out of the jeep and walk towards him.
"Uh. Just washing Rory's car." Dean tells her.
"I can see that."
"I mean, I came by to see her and she wasn't here, so I was gonna wait on the porch, but then I noticed her car looked dirty, I thought I'd wash it."
"Creepy." Lauren whispers.
Lorelai pushes Lauren behind her. "Because sometimes things can get on your car." Dean continues. "Like dirt, certain kinds of sap. They get into your paint. It's really hard to get off."
"Sure." Lorelai nods.
"Even water spots. After it rains, they can be a real problem."
"Okay. Would you like a soda?" Lorelai asks.
"No. I'm fine."
"Let's go get a soda." Lorelai tells him. "Put the squirting water thing down and come in the kitchen." Dean looks unsure. "Squirting thing down." Dean slowly put the hose on the ground and follows Lorelai and Lauren inside.
They walk into the kitchen. "Look, I really didn't mean to bother you." Dean says. "I can wait outside until Rory gets home."
"Honey, Rory's working on her school project today."
Lauren walks out of the kitchen. She didn't want to be apart of this conversation. Dean sighs. "Oh, yeah." He remembers. "I forgot. I mean, she must have told me that she-I'm sorry. I forgot."
"That's okay." Lorelai assures him.
"So, I'll just go."
"No. Come here. Sit down for a sec." Lorelai says, as they sit down at the table. "Are you alright?" She asks.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't remember Rory telling me about her studying today." Dean says. "I swear, I wouldn't have come over."
"Can I maybe give you a little advice?"
Dean shrugs. "Sure."
"Okay. First, I just want to tell you I think you are a great guy. You're soo good to Rory. Even though I hoped she'd be the one girl in the world who wouldn't look at a boy until she was 38, I'm really glad she found you."
Dean smiles. "Thanks."
"And I know things have been a little off between you two lately."
"Did she say that?"
"No. I'm saying that. I can see it. And, by the way, I get it. Sometimes when things are out of whack, it freaks us out a little and makes us feel like we're losing something that's really important and that scares us even more so we try really hard to hold on to whatever it is we think we're losing. And sometimes we hold on a little too hard." Lorelai explains.
"Too hard?" Dean questions.
"Like 'calling ten times in a three hour period' too hard."
"Fourteen times." Dean corrects her.
"Okay. See, I was gonna let you slide, but honest man, I like that." Lorelai smirks.
"You think I'm holding on too hard to Rory?" Dean asks.
"I don't think you mean to."
"You think I'm losing her?"
"I think you think you are."
"I just feel like nothing I do is- I just want things back the way they used to be." Dean says, repeating exactly what Rory had told Lorelai.
"I know you do. And they can be."
"How?"
"I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes giving people a little bit of space is actually the best thing to do." Lorelai tells him.
"Space?"
"Just a little."
"Like what? Don't call her? Don't see her?"
"No. Just let her breathe. Let her relax. Let her come to you for a change."
"You're not telling me this to get rid of me, are you?" Dean asks, insecurely.
Lorelai rolls her eyes. "Please! If I was trying to get rid of you I would've started with 'Let me tell you about my family,' I'm not telling you this to get rid of you." She laughs. "I'm telling you because I think it might help things between you guys." Dean sits there thinking. "Just try it. If it doesn't work, I promise you can wash my car, too."
"Okay." Dean smirks. "I think I'm gonna go now. Uh. Don't tell Rory I was here, okay?"
"Hey. I'm just standing in my kitchen talking to myself. Again."
Dean laughs, lightly. "Thanks."
"Bye, Dean." Lorelai smiles as Dean walks out.
Lorelai walks out the kitchen, deciding to go talk to Lauren, but she stops when she sees Lauren sitting on the stairs. Lauren sighs and heads back upstairs. She knew her mom was telling Dean that because it was true. Rory and Dean had been acting weird with one another and Dean was being a little obsessive. But for some reason Lauren also felt like her mom was talking to her, too. Lorelai decided against going to talk to Lauren just yet, giving her daughter some time to think about what she had said to Dean. If Lauren was going to listen when she was giving advice to someone else, then so be it. Lorelai will take it.
Sookie is still on the phone, in the kitchen, at the inn. "You know what!? Forget it! If that's how you run your business then I deserve this for picking you in the first place!" She yells just as Lorelai walks in. "I hate you!" Sookie slams the phone down on the table.
"Hey." Lorelai says, gently.
"Okay. New plan for the invites." Sookie tells her. "We're getting married May 15, 4:00, front lawn. Pass it on!"
"Sookie."
"That's it. Word of mouth. They used it for the Revolutionary War. Who the hell am I to poo-poo history, I ask you?"
Michel walks in looking upset. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asks Lorelai.
"With me?" Lorelai asks, confused.
"Yes, you. Are you out of your mind?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why would you tell my mother that I do not eat carbs?"
"Because you don't."
"That is private information about me."
"Michel, everybody in Stars Hollow knows you don't eat carbs."
"So, what?"
"Calm down. Have some toast." She jokes.
"Do not talk to my mother ever again. Do you understand me?"
"No, I don't understand." Lorelai laughs in confusion. "You and your mother seem crazy about each other. I just assumed since you gave up carbs a year ago, she knew."
"Yes, well, you know what happens when you assume."
"What?"
"I don't know!" Michel yells. "Something about a donkey. It's a stupid American phrase!"
"I don't understand. You and your mother seem to have the perfect relationship."
"Yes. Because I tell her nothing. We keep all subjects light and fluffy." He tells her. "We talk about clothes, food, Posh Spice, and David Beckham, and that is all. Nothing of value. Nothing of substance."
"I'm sorry."
"Now she knows I've been hiding something from her. Suddenly, she's asking questions. Why did I leave France at eighteen? Where do I go at night? Who are my friends? What do they do? Where do they live? Why have I chosen this career? On and on. It never ends. I can't stand it. She's a complete pain. She won't stop. I took a six hour bath last night just to escape the incessant nagging. You did this to me! You turned my Giselle into a mother, and I hate you for it! I hate you very much!" Michel walks out.
"So, feel better now?" Sookie asks Lorelai.
Lorelai nods. "Yes, I do. Thanks."
Paris walks up to Rory, who is standing around the crowded floor, at Chilton.
"Okay. I've swept the room, and I have to tell you, all sad." Paris tells her, happily. "I think we're locked."
"Really?" Rory says, unsure. "I actually thought the locker alarm was pretty good."
"Please. No one even looks when a car alarm goes off. How effective is a locker alarm going to be?" Paris asks. "Nope. I feel it. We are it." Richard walks up to them. "What's the word?"
"Every single idea in this room is completely worthless." He tells the girls, proudly. "There's a lot of wasted cardboard in here."
"We are going to win."
"Yes, we are."
"Okay. The two of you need to take a timeout." Rory tells them as she stands in the middle of them.
Headmaster Charleston walks up to them and is surprised to see Richard. "Richard, hello." He says, shaking his hand.
"Hanlin, good to see you." Richard smiles.
"What are you doing here?"
"Well, I'm actually advising Rory on her business project. The Rx 2002."
Charleston looks behind Richard at the project. "Oh, that's wonderful. You look great."
"I feel great."
"We don't see you at the club that much."
"I've been very busy lately." Richard tells him.
"And did I hear correctly? Did you retire?"
"Right before Christmas." Richard confirms.
"So, it's true." Charleston laughs. "Biddy and I couldn't believe it when we heard that."
"Well, a man can't work forever."
"No, that's true. I just can't picture you retired."
"It's been wonderful lately. Best move I've ever made. It's given me time to do wonderful things."
"That sounds nice. "What kind of things are you doing."
"Well, this!" Richard says, looking around.
"Well, there you go!" Charleston laughs. "Unfortunately, some of us aren't living the good life quite yet. I've got to get back. It's been wonderful seeing you. Let's have dinner soon."
"I would like that very much."
"I'll have Biddy give Em a call."
"You do that." Richard says as Charleston walks away.
"Did you see the hose-hook idea over at table five?" Paris asks Rory. "A hook on your belt for your garden hose. There's a Buster Keaton routine waiting to happen."
"So, how are we doing?" Richard asks them.
"Paris is practicing spiking the football and doing a back flip." Rory jokes.
Charleston wlks up the podium to announce the winner. "Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen. All the projects have now been reviewed."
"Here we go." Paris says, happily.
"And before we announce the winnder, I must commend everyone for their fine work. There are many good ideas here today. It makes me proud."
"Move it along, Padre." Paris whispers.
"Now, I'd like to announce the winner. Table ten. Miss. Chester's class with the locker alarm."
Paris and Richard look stunned. "I don't understand." Richard frowns. "How's that possible?"
"This is so lame. That alarm doesn't even work. I was just over there." Paris yells, bitterly.
"This is ludicrous!"
"Grandpa, it doesn't matter." Rory says.
"It certainly does matter. You've all put in some extraordinary amount of time and effort and thought into this. It deserved to win."
"Yeah." Paris agrees.
"Well, I wanted to win, too, but we didn't." Rory shrugs.
"I'm going to talk to the headmaster." Richard tells them.
"I wish you wouldn't."
"You were robbed, Rory, and I'm no gonna sit back and simple watch it happen." Richard walks away to find Charleston."
Lorelai and her girls are just getting out of jeep, after the pull up at the grandparents' house for Friday night dinner. Rory had just finished telling them about what happened at the contest and how angry Richard was as he was yelling at Charleston.
"Awful." Rory says. "His face was turning red and he was practically shaking."
"Hey. Did you notice when he gets mad he gets taller?" Lauren asks.
"Lauren."
"No, I've seen it, too!" Lorelai exclaims. "He actually grows." Rory groans. "The day I told him I was pregnant, 24 feet tall. Freaked the birds."
"Hey. I'm upset here." Rory reminds them as they walk up to the front door.
"Honey, you did nothing wrong." Lorelai tells her. "You went to your grandfather, who you greatly admire and actually like hanging out with, to ask for his help and advice. That's lovely and thoughtful."
Lauren rings the doorbell. "Please help me out tonight." Rory begs. "No mention of work, or Chilton, or school, or retirement."
"Nothing but politics and religion. Got it."
Emily opens the door, looking very somber. "Hello, girls."
"Hi, Mom." Lorelai says, looking confused.
"Hey, Grandma." Rory and Lauren both say.
"Come in." The girls walk in and takes off their coats. "Dinner's almost ready. Richard, the girls are here! Richard!" She calls out, sighing. "He came home today, didn't say a word, stomped off to his study, and slammed the door." Emily explains as they walk into the living room. "He's been holed up in there ever since."
"Really?" Rory frowns.
"I can't even get him to answer me."
"Are you sure he's still there? " Lorelai asks.
"Of course. The door's right there. I would have seen if he came out. Not everyone leaves this house climbing out the window and jumping into a waiting hod rod." Emily says, glaring at her daughter.
Lorelai smiles. "Maybe someone should talk to him." Lauren suggests.
"i don't know what to do." Emily says, sadly. "What on Earth happened today?" She asks Rory.
"Things didn't go well at the business fair." Rory tells her.
"What happened?
"It was terrible." Lorelai begins dramatically. "The 10th graders staged a hostile takeover of the 11th graders."
Rory shakes her head. "Our project didn't win. Grandpa took it badly."
"Well, I am at my wit's end. If that man is going to fall apart over a school project." Emily scoffs.
"It was just a weird time for him, Mom." Lorelai tells her.
"I feel awful." Rory says, looking upset.
"Maybe he should go talk to somebody."
"Like whom?" Emily asks.
"Like a psychiatrist."
Emily looks surprised. "What?"
"Maybe it would help." Lorelai shrugs.
"We do not go to psychiatrists."
"Mom, there's nothing wrong with getting help."
"Lorelai Gilmore, are you seriously suggesting that your father go to a complete stranger and talk about his personal life?" Emily asks.
"Lots of people swear by it."
"Yes." Emily agrees. "Disturbed people. Deviants. People with multiple personalities who see things and hear dogs talking to them and roam the streets talking to themselves and licking parking meters."
"Mom."
"Next thing you know, you'll be suggesting I go to a psychiatrist."
Lorelai looks at her daughters. "Hm. Too many comebacks. I cannot pick."
Suddenly, they hear a door slam in the background. "Richard?" Emily calls out, looking around. "Is that you?"
"Of course it's me." Richard tells her as he walks in. "Oh, Rory, you're here. Wonderful! Hello, Lorelai. Lauren."
"Hey." Lorelai says as Lauren gives him a small wave.
"I am starving. What's for dinner?" Richard asks Emily.
Emily looks stunned. "What's for dinner?" She asks. "What do you mean, what's for dinner?"
They walk into the dining room. "Well, I thought the question was relatively clear, but I'd be glad to rephrase it for you. Uh. What sort of food products will appear on various plates this evening?" He asks, sarcastically as they all take their seats.
"Richard Gilmore, you come home in a huff. Then, you lock yourself in that study all afternoon-"
"Well, I had a lot of thinking to do. A lot of thinking." Richard tells them. "I owe that to you, young lady." He says, looking at Rory.
"I'm sorry." Rory says.
"You should certainly not be sorry."
"Richard, what-" Richard grabs a roll. "-put that roll down and explain yourself." Emily demands.
"This whole week, this whole experience with Rory and the locker first aid kit-that is a damn good idea, by the way, no matter what those yarn heads at that school of yours say. Anyway, this whole week make me realize something: I don't want to be retired."
"You what?"
"I don't like it. I hate it, as a matter of fact."
"But Dad-" Lorelai starts.
"It's boring." Richard continues. "i have absolutely no idea what to do with myself. And, frankly, I am tired of trying to find something to fill up my time."
"So, what are you going to do?" Lauren asks.
"I'm going to work."
"Are you thinking about asking for your job back?" Emily asks.
"Oh, no." Richard laughs. "No. I have decided to go into business for myself."
"Wow." Lorelai says, surprised.
"What?" Emily asks.
"Cool." Rory and Lauren says.
"It is cool, isn't it?" Richard smiles.
Emily still looks very confused. "But what are you going to do?"
"I'm not sure yet. Perhaps I'll consult, maybe take on a partner. Maybe I'll even teach."
"What?" Lorelai laughs, lightly. She found it hard to picture her dad teaching.
"Well, you don't have to say it like that." He mumbles.
"Sorry. What?" She says, faking smile.
"I think 35 years of experience will qualify me to teach a course or two at that local college of yours." He tells Lorelai.
"Oh, no." Lorelai frowns. "It's Who's The Boss? The Later Years."
"Richard, are you serious about this?" Emily asks, still looking unsure.
"As a heart attack." He tells her. "I haven't felt this good in a very long time, Emily. I have the buzz, and I owe it all to you." He tells Rory.
"Well, glad to be of service." Rory says, confidently.
"He's going to teach." Emily says, looking at Lorelai.
"Or consult." Lorelai says.
"Consult?"
"So, licking a parking meter is just around the corner." Lorelai jokes.
Lorelai, Rory, and Lauren are on their way home, still thinking about Richard's news.
"Okay. That dinner was good." Lorelai tells her girls.
"All of Grandma's dinners are good." Rory says.
"I know, but this one had the rolls."
"Those were excellent rolls."
"Weren't they? Hot and buttery with that splut top thing. I miss the rolls."
"She'll make some more next week."
"That's okay." Lorelai shrugs. "I got six in my purse."
"You do not." Rory laughs.
"Go ahead and check."
Rory looks inside Lorelai's purse and takes out a roll. "Have you no shame?"
"Ha!" Rory's beeper goes off. "Who's that?"
Rory looks at it. "It's Dean."
"Really? How many pages does that make for today?" Lorelai asks.
"Just one."
"You're kidding."
"In two days." Rory smiles.
"Wow!"
"I know. He hasn't called or mysteriously appeared by my side or anything."
"Oh. Well, maybe he's calming down."
"I hope so. I actually got a chance to miss him today."
Lorelai smiles, lovingly, at her daughter. "That sounds good."
"It is good."
"Do you want to grab my cell phone and give him a call?"
"Oh, no. Tomorrow's fine."
"Are you sure? It's still early. You guys could hook up for a little awhile."
"I'm hanging out with Lane tonight." Rory tells her.
"Lane?"
"Yeah. We have some serious C.D. listening to do. We're way behind on all the Elvis Costello reissues."
"I didn't think Lane could hang out past nine."
"Her mom's at an antique fair in Woodbury until Sunday. And her grandmother's staying with her, but she's asleep by six. So, we thought we'd be really bad and sneak out to Luke's." Rory explains.
"You're going to Luke's?" Lorelai asks.
"Maybe."
"Honey, why go to Luke's? I mean, you just had ten rolls." She jokes.
"No, you did, and I don't even know if we'll go. It's just a maybe."
"Okay, okay. Well, you guys have fun." Lorelai drives up to Lane's. Rory hops out and Lauren jumps into the front seat.
Lauren sighs and looks out the window, watching Rory and Lane. "Mom, I really miss Elizabeth."
Lorelai rubs her daughter's arm, lovingly. "I know you do, sweets. But it'll get better. I promise. You'll see her again."
"How do you know? I mean, she lives all the way in California. Her mom is never home. It just really sucks. And it sucks going to school without her. It sucks not hanging out with her everyday."
"Lauren." Lorelai turns to face her daughter. "It will get better." She repeats, making Lauren roll her eyes. "No. Believe me. But for it to be better, you can't go into classrooms and flip people out of their desk. You can't miss class because it's hard. I know Elizabeth is your best-" Lauren goes to correct her, but Lorelai stops her. "-She is still your best friend, whether you want to think so or not. But I will not allow you to act up. You have never got into trouble before until now. I mean, granted you and Elizabeth did some pretty stupid things, but you never got kicked out of class. Teachers love you."
"No. They love that Rory is my sister."
"But they love you. You make excellent grades, until now." Lauren looks confused. Lorelai grabs Lauren's transcripts out of her purse. "Your grades her falling. I have never seen you lower than a B before."
Lauren takes the paper out of her mom's hand. "Math is really hard." She admits.
"Then let your sister help you."
"But I don't want help. I just fell behind because I missed a few assignments."
Lorelai sighs. "Lauren, for me, please, let Rory help you catch up at least. You need this."
Lauren exhales. "I don't like this." She says.
Lorelai grins. "I know."
Lauren looks up at her mom. "I don't know if I can do this." She says, honestly.
Lorelai grabs Lauren's hand. "You can."
"Mom, if I say something completely crazy, do you promise not to send me to a psychiatrist?"
Lorelai smiles. "I promise."
"I think I want to go to Chilton after my last year at Stars Hollow Middle.
Lorelai looks surprised. She never thought she'd ever hear those words come out of her youngest daughter's mouth. "What?"
Lauren shrugs. "I just think maybe I'd like it more. Maybe I won't be so bored. I can start new, ya know? I mean, I know it's a long way away. I have a whole other year at Stars Hollow, but it's something to think about, right?"
Lorelai smiles. "Definitely." Lauren nods and looks out the window as Lorelai stares at her daughter for a few more moments before she drives away.
They pull up at the house and find Dean sitting on the porch. "Dean." Lorelai whispers.
Dean doesn't look up when they walk over to him. "She likes Jess, doesn't she?" He asks. Lorelai looks at Lauren, who quickly turns her head. She knew the truth, but she wasn't going to say anything more to hurt Dean when Rory hasn't even figured it out herself. Dean looks up at Lorelai, waiting for an answer, but Lorelai wasn't going to give him one. He nods his head, not saying another word, and walks away.