The Substitute

Being at college, Dipper expected to see a wide range of students and teachers, unlike in high school. He knew pretty much anything could happen. And by anything, he meant normal things, not 'dream demon from Gravity Falls has come to substitute your history teacher's class'. This was not by any means normal. It didn't help that all over the board was covered in facts about Quinten Trembley, the 8th ½ President.

What was even worse, the first few rows of the class were taken up by people, some of which weren't even in this class, just so they can watch the new substitute. Dipper grumbled, knowing that his seat was taken, not that he would sit in the front now that a certain demon was teaching. He marched up the stairs with a giggling Mabel close behind him.

"To think, he was serious," Mabel laughed as she sat down beside her brother. A few days ago over the phone, Bill had mentioned that he would be visiting their school, saying something about how he doubted the capabilities of their teachers.

"Of course he was serious," Dipper groaned as he glared at the back of that stupid demon's head. He honestly thought Bill would have visited them like a normal person. No, the demon had to come and take over another teacher's job. "Do you know what happened to Mrs. Nickels?" he asked with a sudden dread filling him. That woman never missed class.

"Heard that she's visiting her younger sister," Mabel answered calmly.

Okay, that was a good excuse, though he wouldn't put it past Bill to have something to do with it. "I still don't like this," he whispered as he slouched in his seat.

Mabel laughed. "Maybe it won't be that bad?"

"And maybe Waddles will sprout wings and fly?" Dipper replied sarcastically.

"Never know," Mabel shrugged. "We've seen crazier things."

That was true.

Finally, Bill seemed to finish his amazingly accurate drawing of Trembley before he turned around and gave a bright smile. "Hello class!" His eye scanned the class quickly, only to pause at Mabel before locking on Dipper. He gave a 'wink'. Dipper's face turned pink as he tried to glare at the man, but it turned out to look more like a pout.

"Now, you may call me Mr. Cipher. I will be taking over for Mrs. Nickels until she returns," Bill announced as he walked the desk and sat on top of its edge. "After roll call, we will start the lecture." He pulled out a clipboard with the roster on it and clicked the top of the pen. "Alright, Amanda Anderson?" And so the roll call started. He even listed off the people that didn't even take the class that were just sitting in, much to their shock. It wasn't long before he got to their names.

"Pine Tree?" Bill called out.

Dipper flushed bright red as he glared at the man. He refused to go by that here.

"Pine Tree?" Bill sang as he looked directly at Dipper. "If you announce yourself, you'll be counted absent," he warned sweetly. He mockingly made a show of looking for Dipper, causing a few of his classmates to laugh.

Still Dipper remained silent.

"And such a perfect attendance record," Bill sighed as he moved his pen to the paper. "Such a pity."

Dipper clenched his jaw, grinding his teeth together as he glared at the demon. "I'm here you-"

Mabel quickly covered his mouth before he blurted something he might have regretted. Bill grinned victoriously up at Dipper as his classmates laughed at his expense.

"Glad to see you have joined us, Mr. Pine Tree," Bill said with a serious that made Dipper's blood boil. "But from your acting out, I would request you see me after class." Bill gave him a grin and Dipper gave him a muffled reply. Mabel still hadn't moved her hand, which was probably a good thing now.

"Now, where was I?" Bill muttered as he looked down his list. "Oh right, Shooting Star?"

"Here!" Mabel yelled out before giggling.

After that, the class was long. Learning about Quinten wasn't a problem, it was actually interesting, but Bill was constantly getting interrupted by questions either asking if this guy was real or about his personal life. Bill was obviously getting irritated by both, but he kept calm by telling them that Quinten was indeed real and he dodged the personal questions with easy. By the time class ended, he was forced to stay in the room by Mabel until the other students left.

"Alright, I'm ready to see you Mr. Pine Tree," Bill said from his desk with an air of an aristocrat around him. "That will be all Mrs. Shooting Star," he said as he waved off Mabel.

Mabel gave a curtsy in return before running off, leaving her brother to his fate.

Dipper grumbled something obscene as he walked down the steps to the desk. "What do you want, Bill?"

Bill wagged his finger at him. "You are to call me Mr. Cipher, young man. I am a respectable teacher."

"Respectable teacher my ass," Dipper murmured under his breath.

Bill grinned. "Maybe later," he said while winking at him. "That is if you behave."

Dipper rolled his eyes, but gave a small laugh. "What are you even doing here?"

"I told you why," Bill answered. He sat down in his desk's chair. "I will say that this teacher was pretty good, but she had no idea who Trembley is!"

"Most people don't," Dipper shrugged. He sat back on the top of the front desks and swung his legs.

"No excuse." Bill rolled his chair over to Dipper and smiled up at him. "So, how'd I do?" he asked as he looked up at him expectantly.

"Besides the part where everyone's going to call me Pine Tree now, pretty good," he said reluctantly.

Bill gave a small cheer. "Does this mean we get to do kinky student teacher stuff now? Like the stuff in Monster's little books?" he asked as he rested his cheek against Dipper's thigh.

"Her name is Grenda, not monster," Dipper sighed. He reached out a carded his fingers through Bill's hair. "And no, we are not going to do that now."

Bill pouted as he leaned into the touch.

"But…maybe later. That is if you behave," Dipper grinned.