BioWare owns all; I just play in their pond. Reviews are always welcome!
A/N: The final character chapter before the climax, which I'm both looking forward to writing, and absolutely dreading. I've said before that I feel the need for characters to develop, but I'm incredibly surprised at how easily Fenris came to me this time around. Still suspicious as hell, but given his life experiences I think that will always be in his nature. At least by now, he's accumulated enough facts and evidence to start making some reasoned decisions.
38. Vigilax – Fenris
Hawke stepped through the door into the busy Hightown square, willing the late morning sun to ease some of the strain of anticipation from his shoulders. Beside him, Fenris began walking with purpose, his destination appearing to be a small alcove between buildings up the way. They hadn't yet gotten to the reason for the elf's visit, though in truth Hawke was grateful for a momentary reprieve from the energy and anxiety humming through his estate.
Rounding the corner into the small, almost entirely concealed Hightown cranny, the mage stepped into the shade. As he watched his most unlikely of friends lever himself up onto an abandoned crate for a place to sit, resting his sword against the crate between his legs, it occurred to him that this might be the ideal time to ask a couple of questions of his own.
Fenris, ever cautious, watched the nearby corners for a moment. He didn't resume their conversation from Hawke's parlor until he felt certain there would be no one to intrude. "Anders appears to be… agitated. Do things remain well with the spirit?"
The mage considered his answer for a time, deciding eventually that some degree of confidence in the elf was warranted. "I… don't know, anymore. Our summons to the Gallows this evening has, as you said, agitated the both of them. Anders hasn't had a moment's peace all morning."
"Are you expecting a great measure of conflict?" The elf offered no reservations, simply curiosity.
"I'm not sure what to expect. Orsino made it sound as if the situation is at a breaking point, but he gave me nothing of the circumstances. It could be something that will have blown over by the time we get there, or it could be something that blows up in our faces. Either way, when this is done, I have to find a way to…"
Fenris didn't prompt the mage for more. He'd been present for a sufficient number of delicate situations over the years that he could see Hawke's struggle to decide how much information to offer. When the man finally did speak, his decision to confide was clear, but he was clearly no less conflicted.
"Justice…" Hawke trailed off again.
"…Is no longer Justice, and has not been for some time." The elf finished. Were they discussing anything else, he might have been amused at the shock prompted by his perception. "I recall telling you that I would watch any mages among us carefully. Though I may do so now for different reasons than I have in the past, the trust I have placed in the three of you has given me no call to cease my vigilance."
Fenris leaned back now, hands splayed to support his weight, a foot shifting to hold his blade upright. Before the mage could absorb enough to respond, the warrior continued. "In six years' time, I have yet to see you use your magic for your own benefit. I have never felt your power without seeing in your purpose the placement of all others above yourself. There is within you a nobility I have come to admire a great deal, as you more than any other have shown me the truth behind your conviction that magic is not the mold that makes those of you born with it.
"In this time, I have come to see that for all her lack of understanding, Merrill has been much more cognizant than Anders of the dangers represented by the creatures of the Fade. As impossible as it may be, I have even come to believe that her dealings with such beings, on the rare occasions I have seen her seek them out, have been… moral. And in all this time, I have come to understand that Anders himself is not a mage. He is a healer, a man called to his purpose more strongly than any I have ever met. Whatever other occupations have engaged him, whatever deviation from that nature has been engendered, have been prompted by the creature he hosts. Of this I am certain, however… personal his own motivations for cooperation may be.
"If you will return my trust, I would know of your intentions regarding this spirit."
Ha. Add one more weight to Anders's scale from last evening, then. Hawke blew out a breath. "I've been corresponding with a cousin of mine, a mage who remains in Ferelden. After the Blight, the Circle of Magi chose her as their representative when the king asked for a court advisor to speak for the mages. She's given me valuable information, and has shown me that with the proper resources, a way exists to free Anders from this spirit. Our only complication presently is the reception we'd see from anyone we approached to help, as a number of mages would be required for the task. The minute they see a grown man fully possessed, their inclination will be to kill him without a thought for anything else that might be done. You… don't seem surprised at my intention to rid Anders of Justice."
"In truth, I could envision no other answer. The magnitude of the betrayal that would be required to see you onto the more expedient path is so great I cannot imagine what form such treachery could take."
"Then you should know I've arranged with Isabela for passage, as soon as I can find a reason plausible enough for Justice, to the only place I can believe the spirit's presence will be suffered for long enough to find the needed resources and… allies." Hawke paused here; for much the same reason as he never prompted Anders to dig into his past, he didn't want to send Fenris back to his, either.
"Tevinter." The disgust in the elf's voice was plain.
"Tevinter." Hawke dipped a small nod. "Specifically, Minrathous."
"You will remember that, as you yourself have said in the past, Tevinter is entirely alien to most of the rest of the world. For your purpose, I might normally wish to speak to you at length of the differences you will find, though I am certain that simply hearing of it will not sufficiently prepare you. Dwelling on what might have been being as futile an endeavor as it is, I would offer to accompany you when you go, if you will have me." The offer was casually made, betraying none of the significance behind it.
Then again, some things don't need to be spoken, for one reason or another. "I wouldn't have asked it of you, Fenris." Barely a whisper, and Hawke was grateful that the softness of his words befit the sentiment, as in that moment he wasn't sure he could manage anything stronger.
"Had I thought you would, we would not be having this discussion – any of it. I will not speak of this in the healer's presence; I am aware that the spirit cannot know of our intentions. You will need at your side someone who knows the ways of the magisters and the people they rule. When that time arrives, you will find me there."
Fenris abandoned his seat with his customary grace, leaving Hawke to sort out the gratitude neither man had ever sought to receive. When the mage returned to his estate and saw that his love had also found some measure of calm, brief though it may be, he began to wonder if their way out might just be more attainable than it seemed.