Disclaimer: See Prologue

A/N: Sorry I didn't update this but there's not long left.

Harry's latest find had revealed his father trying to pull Sirius off a sinister, swarthy eyed man who was taller even than him and Harry thought that an almost impossibility.

"Sirius, what the hell?"

Lupin shook his head, knowing Sirius' answer. It was the same one he had given to McGonagall when she had pulled him to one side on the last day of term and threatened him with a permanent mark of assault on his record.

"I was defending Remus' honour!"

Lupin rolled his eyes.

1978

Two days left. Two days and he would be free of the idiot who had riled him until he was forced to walk out of the library. Two days and he would be free of the heartbreaking bitch who sat beside him. Two days. He could handle that. It was only forty-eight hours. He had to keep thinking like that. Forty-eight hours. He could go to bed and try to sleep but he only ever ended up hitting his pillow against the wall and being shaken awake by an alarmed Peter. No, best stay in the Common Room and hope for the best.

And he would've. He really would have stayed but just as he had calmed himself, she started apologising again.

Lupin leapt to his feet. "You know what? I honestly don't give a damn, now if you don't mind-"

And the fresh air as he slammed the portrait hole shut, calmed him a little.

"Hey Fruit-Loop!"

"Hello," murmured Lupin, hoping against hope that Sirius would bugger off. The last person he needed right now was Sirius Black making crude jokes.

"James! James, I found him!"

Lupin sighed. Great. Bloody fantastic. Sirius and James. "Yay," he muttered, sarcastically to himself.

"Moony, are you alright?" asked James, peering into his friend's charcoal black eyes. "Moons, we're really worried about you."

"I'm not," said Sirius. "He's been through worse than this. Remember the time he had a nervous breakdown after he forgot to finish his Trans homework and had to be taken to Madam Pomfrey? I mean, what's having your girlfriend cheat on you with a guy who's even more of a slime ball than Snivellus compared to forgetting to write your conclusion?"

This evoked a small, weak smile from Lupin.

"That's more like it," said James. "I'm glad you're smiling again."

"Well," said Sirius, sucking on a sugar quill. "I don't know about you Prongs, but what's been worrying me is Moony hasn't taken any dodgy pictures of us."

"Yeah, I'll start again tomorrow."

James grinned and gave the password to the Fat Lady who swung open for him.

"You coming Loop, or what?"

"Hi Lupin, wasn't expecting to see you."

Lupin slowly turned to face the burly Mulciber and managed to plaster on an entirely false and unbelievable smile.

"Really? You weren't expecting to see me outside my own house Common Room?"

James stared open mouthed and speechless but the latter problem was solved by Sirius, who spoke enough for all of them.

"Really Mulciber? I'm with Remus on this one, it's most odd; but then I suppose that's what happens when cousins marry. What are you doing here anyway? Waiting to pick up the tart?"

Mulciber smirked. "No. I wanted to talk to Lupin, didn't I?"

"I don't know," said Sirius. "What do you think I am, your PA?"

Despite himself, perhaps it was the hysteria or the sheer ridiculousness of the entire situation, Lupin had to bite back laughter.

"Well," he managed. "Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of my friends-"

"Let's get Pete here shall we, and have the whole crowd?"

"Sirius," snapped James, eventually coming to his senses. "Shut up! You don't have a wand."

"Well he didn't need to know that did he?" shouted Sirius, exasperated.

Lupin cleared his throat. "Anything you have to say to me can also wait until I have some spare time to give you."

"The twelfth of never, you free then?"

"Sirius!"

Mulciber laughed and Peter turned the corner, Lupin's camera in hand.

"Oh great, Remus, just who I was looking for. I think there's a fault with the flash and- Merlin's pants!"

"Crucio!"

Sirius ducked, narrowly avoiding the spell that bounced off the wall and caused a crack in the flooring. He intended to get to his feet and run through the Portrait Hole as fast as he could but somehow he found himself taking a running leap at his assailant and clinging to his neck for balance, smashing his nose repeatedly and screaming profanities regarding men who steal other men's girlfriends. Which was all fine and dandy until he found himself pinned to the floor and dodging Mulciber's unforgivable curses.

CLICK!

James lowered the camera. "You know Pete, as useful as pictures will be in solving Pads' murder, I don't think it's a good idea to let it get that far." He was smiling now, he could almost hear the cogs of Lupin's brain in motion.

"I've been working on something. No matter what happens, just go with it."

"Remus, you don't have a wand. What are you, nuts?"

"Quite possibly."

Lupin waved a hand as though bringing out an orchestra and they found themselves in blinding darkness where the only sounds were Mulciber's growls of frustration, Lupin's cry of jubilance and Sirius' quip,

"Is it just me or is anyone else reminded of the plagues of Egypt?"

"Shut up," hissed Lupin and in the distance, James heard the sound of their footsteps.

The lights flickered into life and Mulciber glared at Peter who had taken the liberty of photographing him.

"Yeah, sorry about that," said James quietly. "The lights, what can you do?"

"That would have made an epic picture," said Peter.

"Peter," began James, not sure how to remind him of his own stupidity. "Not only was that magic but the flash of the camera doesn't work, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Oh well…"

Lupin dragged Sirius through the Portrait hole where James and Peter were waiting.

"You…ever…do that…to me…again…and I'll…" panted Lupin, doubling over and clutching a stitch. "Six…bloody…floors…sprinting…can't…breathe."

James raised an amused eyebrow. "You realise that as Head Boy, I really ought to report this?"

"After everything I've just done," said Lupin, gasping for breath. "I'd kill you."

"Well I'm not going to but only because the whole lights on, lights off thing was unbelievably cool. You have got to show me how to do that."

Lupin grinned. "Deal. Where's Sirius?"

CLICK!

Peter loomed over the collapsed body, testing out the flash that James had repaired.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" asked James.

"He'll be fine," replied Lupin. "I think he just got a little over-excited."