In a little over two weeks, Detective Jane Rizzoli would be reassigned to the Homicide Department. Granted, she wouldn't technically be allowed to work actively out in the field, but she was delighted at the prospect of being able to help with casework again. Filing. Detective Rizzoli was on cloud nine just thinking about filing for chrissakes. Even though her younger brother Frankie had been assigned to the squad in her absence to assist with the overflowing amount of cases Frost and Korsak were left to handle themselves, Jane knew that they had been struggling with deadlines the past couple of months.
Jane wasn't afraid to admit that she couldn't quite decide which of her emotional responses to the looming date was the strongest. Some days all she could focus on was the excitement and pride she felt knowing that soon enough she would be back behind her desk where she belonged, waiting impatiently for the day her Doctor signed her off for active duty. Other days, the not so good days, Jane was physically weakened by nerves.
However, as the days passed and the day drew nearer, Jane realised that the nerves were slowly lessening as opposed to growing. She took that as a good sign. It was also evident to the Detective that Maura was just as conflicted with regards to her returning to her position with the Boston Police Department. Often, Jane caught the Doctor staring at her with something resembling stark panic in her eyes. It was slightly disconcerting to worry that Maura might not have enough faith in her to believe she would be able to deal with going back to work, but Jane knew that Maura trusted her decision and her abilities. Indeed, Maura's fears lay with the very real possibility that what happened just a few months ago could easily repeat itself in the future. Now that they were a couple it was obvious that these worries had to be addressed as and when they arose.
That particular morning, Jane saw that wide eyed, panicky look on Maura's face once too often. Having only been awake for twenty minutes in total, Jane would be the first to admit that her patience levels were not as high as they might have been, but this had gone on long enough. She couldn't very well allow Maura to worry herself sick about something that was an inevitable factor in their lives. Jane was a Homicide Detective. There were risks, and Maura knew them all like the back of her hand. Now was one of those times Jane truly wished Maura didn't have such a wealth of knowledge of every possible statistic relating to the dangers of her occupation, and the injuries she could potentially have.
Jane narrowed her gaze as she lifted her scalding cup of black coffee to her lips, letting the steam fill her nostrils before taking a careful sip, never removing her eyes from Maura. Her morning coffee had become even more of a blessing now that the colder weather was starting to make itself felt and known. It wasn't quite time to start wearing warm hats and scarves, but Jane, having lived in Boston all of her life, knew that it definitely was approaching on the horizon.
Truthfully, Jane used to dread the cold winter months. When she worked undercover for Vice all those years ago she damn near froze to death doing her nightly rounds. And after Hoyt pierced her hands with his scalpels, the cold was nothing short of a menace. Jane lost count of how many nights she spent clutching a hot water bottle between her palms, praying and bargaining with anyone or anything who might just be listening for the gnawing pain to lessen enough to let her get some sleep. Thankfully, the ache that became more pronounced during winter was now bearable. If asked outright, she would most likely never admit it, but Jane now relished this time of year. It meant more nights at Maura's, watching the TV under a blanket and drinking hot chocolate. She still dreaded her shifts in the driving snow, attempting to secure crime scenes whilst the evidence was being slowly destroyed was a right royal pain in the ass, but the negatives were now far outweighed by the rewards.
However, the mornings were often bitterly cold. Jane was sitting at the kitchen island with her pajama bottoms tucked into a thick pair of socks as well as a jumper thrown over her night shirt in spite of the fact Maura's home was always at a recommended temperature determined by some investigator Jane heard her mention once or twice. The Doctor herself had apparently awoken at the crack of dawn for when Jane eventually dragged her mind into the world of the living; Maura was nowhere to be seen. She soon realised she had spent most of the last couple of hours cleaning. This usually wouldn't have bothered Jane, but she could instantly tell when she exited the bedroom they now shared that Maura was using her current obsession with cleanliness as a distraction.
Friday morning and Maura had the day off work and here she was, scrubbing at the kitchen floor like a woman possessed. Jane watched her girlfriend attacking one specific area that was already absolutely spotless and found her mind moving from one conclusion to the next. Perhaps Maura liked to dedicate her personal days to ensuring her standards of cleanliness were sustained, perhaps Maura had always conducted this morning routine and Jane had simply never noticed it, perhaps she was reading too much into this. This logical reasoning did nothing to dispel the concern beginning to take root within the Detective. She made the decision to speak up in such a way that Maura would not feel like she was being judged or questioned in her own home.
Clearing her throat, Jane peered down and commented, "Y'know, if I'd known you turned into Cinderella every Friday I'd have made you my girlfriend a lot sooner..." Maura glanced up and seemed to stare right through the Detective with a forced smile before returning her attention to the task at hand. "I think you missed a spot," Jane muttered wryly, raising an eyebrow at the gleaming floor.
When Maura stood Jane couldn't help but let her eyes wander over the beautiful body before her. The Doctor was wearing what she regarded as casual attire, which consisted of a pair of gray slacks paired with a deep red, short sleeved blouse that complimented the contours of Maura's body wonderfully. Whilst facing the sink as she rinsed her hands, Maura retorted, "Studies have shown that around 60% of people claim that their preferred time to dispose of unwanted or unnecessary clutter is in the spring. And," Maura added, turning to face Jane with that same glazed look on her face, "Close to 90% of respondents said that they note a clear improvement in their mood when their house has been cleaned properly."
Jane cocked her head to one side, pretending to be interested in the information Maura was currently regaling her with, but her focus was solely directed on the inflection in her girlfriend's tone of voice as opposed to what she was actually saying. She decided that this flat, monotonous speech was quite unlike Maura, who was usually so animated when sharing her facts and statistics with Jane and indeed, anyone she came into contact with.
"Maura," The Detective interjected, noticing the way Maura's hands were insistently and agitatedly fidgeting. As the Doctor had once said she rarely fidgets. This was another glaringly obvious sign that something was bothering her, something she didn't want to say aloud.
"… Some put the figure at 54%, others a little higher, but most researchers agree that about half of American households are thoroughly cleaned weekly, if not daily…"
"Maura!" Jane said, a little more loudly this time. As Maura stopped talking and stood there with her lips slightly parted as though waiting for the opportunity to be put to use again, Jane pushed back the chair and came around to grasp Maura by the upper arms, forcing their eyes to meet.
Maura bit her lip as Jane tenderly gripped her chin between her fingers. For a moment, roles were reversed. When their friendship was still in its teething stages and neither woman was quite sure of how much they could really open up to one another, Maura had held Jane in her hand this way to inspect the damage to her nose. It took only those few seconds for them both to quietly realise that their friendship, though young, was real and honest.
"You're worried about me going back to work, aren't you?" Jane stated plainly, with no hint of accusation in her voice. Instead, she sounded gentle, which matched the slow movement of her thumb beneath Maura's chin, a soothing action she scarcely noticed she was even doing.
For a moment, Jane thought Maura might try to avoid admission. For someone who couldn't lie without erupting in hives, the Doctor was quite adept at avoidance and manipulating her replies so that she wasn't quite being untruthful, but still managed to refrain from being completely honest. But then the façade crumbled and Maura sighed, puffing a few strands of hair on Jane's face, "Yes," she replied, "I'm worried, I'm terrified." Maura blurted out.
"What can I do?" Jane asked, "Is there anything I can do?"
Maura chuckled tearily, "I don't think there is anything either of us can do. I knew this day was coming, I simply didn't realise how difficult it would be to think of you walking back out there."
At a loss of what to do next, Jane pulled her girlfriend against her and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, holding her there whilst she soothingly ran a hand through the soft hair tucked beneath her chin.
"How about we go away somewhere next weekend? Hmm?" Jane whispered, "Maybe that beach house we went to a couple years ago? Or maybe that cabin you were talking about?"
Maura hummed into Jane's chest as she thought about taking yet more time off work. She hated to abandon her duties and her colleagues to the mercy of Doctor Pike, especially since she had only just caught up on everything she missed during the time she spent with Jane after her ordeal. It would be bordering on the irresponsible for her to leave again. There was a moment where Maura briefly considered saying no, but then she remembered the promise she privately made not long ago. If Jane tried to reach out to her, then she would be there. This was a chance for them to escape the pressure of Jane's approaching return to work, and an ideal opportunity for them to have some time to themselves, a rare occurrence these days.
"What do you think? Where do you wanna go?" Jane said again.
It took around twenty seconds for Maura to respond, and when she did, it was with one of the shortest sentences she had ever uttered.
She tucked her head more securely into Jane's neck as she murmured, "Anywhere but here."