A/N: This is the last regular chapter of Lover of The Light. After this, there are 3 lengthy epilogues, but from here I'm wrapping everything up.

Thank you guys, so, so, so much for sticking with me through all of this. It's been a bumpy ride, but this is the beginning. Thank you SunflowerFran for all of your beta skills, and Fyrebyrd89 for prereading and re-prereading this.

I own nothing.

November 22nd, 2012

You can spend weeks, months—years contemplating the most important decision of your life. You can fear every outcome, dread every possibility, worry, worry, and worry some more.

Nothing can possibly prepare you for the moment when it happens. There's this moment when I think I finally have it all figured out, and then my decisions come alive, and I doubt everything all over again.

My decision is born on a Thursday, Thanksgiving evening to be exact.

I don't know it's happening yet. I'm oblivious to anything going on outside the walls of my own home.

Emmett's pissed that he can't beat me at Mortal Kombat. I told him once and I'll say it again, "You'll never destroy Johnny Cage."

"Douche." He throws his controller. It knocks me on the foot, and I chuck it back at his head.

The first time she calls, Emmett has me in a chokehold on the living room floor.

I'm laughing too loudly to hear the sound of my phone buzzing away on the end table, and Rose doesn't notice either because she's screaming at us to stop killing each other.

The second time she calls, my mom is yelling at the three of us.

She slaps Emmett upside the head and tells him he's an idiot for almost killing his brother. Then she turns to me and says that I need to grow up, that I'm going to be a father soon so I need to start acting like one.

I'm holding an ice pack to my neck when I tell her, "I don't know how a father is supposed to act." Which is around the same time that Bella leaves me a voicemail.

Mom laughs. She hugs me and tells me to take out the garbage for starters.

I miss two more calls when I'm taking out the trash. For some reason, I feel a little off as I'm stuffing garbage bags in the dumpster back in the alleyway behind my house. I don't know what it is; just that something feels out of place.

For once in my life, I brush the feeling to the side. I tell myself that I don't have any reason to worry. I'm the anxiety kid, mr. freakoutovernothing.

Everything is okay, I tell myself, because it is.

Ironically, it's not. For once, I do have a reason to worry.

I don't know yet that Bella is at the hospital and that the other life wants to come two weeks early. Not until my mom tells me to clean up the living room and I notice the light flashing on my phone.

All my life, I was sure I knew what panicking was. I mean, I experienced an almost-not-really-heart-attack at least five times in the last six months. Admittedly, I know a thing or two about anxiety.

Panicking:

It's when I pick up my phone to discover that I've missed six calls from Bella and two from her mother and my heart stops completely. My chest gets really warm and tight, and I can't breathe because I know that in just a few short hours, my entire life is about to change.

It's when I'm halfway to the hospital and Emmett has to drive the rest of the way because he thinks I'm going to get us killed. I don't want to die yet, so I let him take the wheel.

"Hey bro, you have to relax." He puts his hand on my shoulder, and I nod. I shake my head. I nod again.

Calm, calm, CALM … I can be fucking calm.

My life is sort of spinning away, right before my eyes. One second I'm freaking out in the car, the next I'm at Bella's side, and everything stands still.

"Edward!" she cries out, but she's laughing for some reason. Her face is flushed, eyes bright, and a brilliant smile spread across her face. "Holy cow, I didn't think you'd make it."

"It's Emmett's fault," I blurt out, enveloping her in my arms. "What the hell happened?"

Bella tells me that she was about to go HAM on a chocolate pie when her water broke.

"Did you at least get to eat the pie?" Is Emmett's greatest concern.

Bella shakes her head and purses her lips, looking gravely disappointed. "No."

Charlie snorts. I look up to see Renee under his arm. He throws me a wink. "She tried."

Bella shrugs, shameless. "You'd try too."

I laugh.

Learning that I'm not the only one who's afraid.

Afraid.

It's when we're alone in the room and Bella is crying in her hands. "I'm so scared, Edward. What if we mess up?"

We're going to mess up … over and over again. But instead of dwelling on this fact I kiss both of her cheeks and hold her hand. Her brown eyes are lined with tears when I pull away.

"We're going to make mistakes, Brightside." I kiss the inside of her wrist.

Realizing that I don't know what to do is a whole different ordeal.

It's when she says:

"I can't do this."

"What if I do it wrong?"

"What if I accidentally kill him?"

I don't know where she comes up with this shit, but I try to tell myself that it's going to be okay.

For three hours, anyway.

Until Bella starts pushing, and then I start doubting.

Doubting:

It's watching the girl you smile for scream bloody murder as the other life rips its way through her.

It's glaring at her mother and wanting to rip her head off for convincing her daughter not to take the fucking epidural.

Again, it's when she says:

"I can't do this."

And then there's the most important part of our decision…

Having the confidence to hold her head, look into her eyes and say, "Yes you can, and you're so fucking beautiful but, Brightside, you're hurting my hand."

Moments after, there's a cracking sound, but it's not my hand this time; it's the beginnings of the sound of a loud, squealing infant.

Seeing him for the first time is so simple. I'm not doubting, panicking, I don't have any reason to freak out at all because he's here and he's okay. He's screaming his head off just to let us know, and we do. It's absolutely the most amazing thing I've ever felt in my entire life.

And then Brightside—the girl who taught me it's okay to smile without a reason—turns to me and gasps. Her eyes look wide, kind of terrified, but the curve at the left corner of her lips would suggest otherwise.

"Channel three?"

Everyone looks at us like we're fucking crazy, and I can't help but bust out laughing. It's choked, kind of terrified.

We don't know where we go from here, but we do know that we're not alone. Our whole world is here, and I don't have a doubt in the world that he belongs with us.

Love:

It's crazy and confusing, and more than anything, I wish I knew sooner that this was going to be us.

This is new beginnings.