Sheldon didn't let go of Amy's hand even after they had sat back down on the sofa. She was guessing it was as much to reassure himself as her and she was fine with that; comforted that she was not alone in her nerves.
"Can I kiss you?" Sheldon asked shyly making Amy smile.
As their lips touched Amy wondered why it felt so new. They had kissed before, Sheldon had touched her breasts before; but to have the words spoken aloud rather than a spontaneous action made this feel more intimate in a way Amy had not anticipated. Sheldon's lips as always were gentle as they pressed against her own. Even with her eyes closed she could anticipate his actions and the feel of his lips against hers calmed her. Pulling back Sheldon blinked as he looked at her and smiled. "I like kissing you." He said simply.
"I like kissing you too."
Releasing the fingers he had been clutching Sheldon moved his hand to brush the hair that had fallen across her face. Cupping her cheek he moved to kiss her again this time letting his tongue stroke her lip before retreating, then repeating the action until Amy moved her own hands from her lap to his neck holding him close and trying to capture his tongue with her own. This little chase soon gave way to a more sensual dance. Them both stroking and retreating, unknowingly imitating an act they were both so innocent in. It was Amy who pulled away this time panting and flushed. Slowly opening his eyes Sheldon groaned.
"What's wrong?" Amy asked concern in her voice.
"Nothing I just... its just..."
"What? Sheldon what is it?" She was certain now something was seriously wrong as Sheldon had squeezed his eyes tight shut again.
Forcing himself to open his eyes and look at her Sheldon said "each time we kiss it gets … worse... better... I'm not sure. I want to do things Amy but I don't know how. I feel things that I have never felt before and I don't know how to react. I want to touch you, have you touch me; but even a simple kiss makes me feel so out of control I don't know what to do."
"You want to stop?" Amy asked.
"God no!" Sheldon practically shouted, then in a calmer tone. "No, I definitely don't want to stop. Show me what to do Amy."
His tone, asking for help which Sheldon never did, had her melting in his arms pulling him close against her so she could bury her face into his neck and just breath in the scent of him. His confused "Amy?" Had her reluctantly pulling back and admitting "I don't know either Sheldon. I know I like kissing you. I like how you make me feel."
"How do you feel?" Sheldon questioned, curious to know if the feelings were the same for her.
"Hot. My heart is racing and while I am scared it is exciting too. I don't think I ever thought this would really happen. I cant believe I am sat here in just my night gown and we are kissing like that."
Sheldon nodded, taking her hand that she had been resting on her knee he placed it on his chest. "My heart is racing too. I am calculating that it has gone from my normal 61 beats per minute to nearly double that. It has only ever been that high when I had to run away from the dog who was chasing me for sausages." Seeing her confused look he continued "You do this to me. Not just kissing you. Just being close to you is enough."
Amy nervously took Sheldon's hand and brought it to below her breast "I know." she said simply. Sheldon could feel the rhythmic pulse of her heart and knew she understood. Moving his hand slightly he let his fingers trace the underside of her breast. Feeling her breath catch he looked at her face to check she was OK with his sudden advance. Her eyes fixed on his and he could see she was enjoying the soft stroking action as her pupils dilated and she shifted closer. Feeling braver now that she hadn't slapped his hand away Sheldon used his other hand to undo the buttons on her night dress, his smile as he did so made her ask "What are you grinning at?"
"I was just thinking that as much as I like the dress you wore yesterday this is my favourite. Look how easy it is to unfasten!"
With a final flick of his finger Amy felt the cold air touch her skin making her shiver then gasp as, feeling bold, Sheldon covered both her exposed breasts with his hands. Holding her gently he let his mind register the feel of her skin, the weight of her against his fingers and the softness in comparison to his own body. Using his eyes to now trace over her exposed curves he moved his thumb to trace the edge of her nipple and his eyes widened at the reaction; not only in her breathing but in the tightening of her skin. Slowly releasing her Sheldon sat back; the only point of contact now his hand holding her own again.
"You OK?" Amy asked watching his face closely wondering if this had this been to much.
He nodded, not speaking for several seconds making her anxiety grow before he said "Your body is so different to mine. It feels so different. I knew of course but to see and feel you." He shook his head then looking at her asked "Could we stop for now?"
Amy smiled "Of course." She moved to cover herself suddenly feeling very exposed but Sheldon reached the buttons first and began to refasten them. When he had finished he said "Thank you for trusting me."
Amy frowned" Of course I trust you Sheldon, I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
"I know but I suddenly thought of you touching me and looking at me in the same way and I realised I how scared I would be."
"Scared you wouldn't like it? Or scared because it would be someone else's hands on you?"
"Nervous because it was someone else touching me, but scared because I have a feeling if you touch me like that I may like it too much."
"Like it too much?" Amy was more confused now.
"Yes. The feelings build so quick and that is just touching you. If you touch me and I like it even more I don't know how I will handle it. Suddenly I can understand why Howard has always been so obsessed by it... I don't want to be Howard Wolowitz."
"Sheldon you would never be Howard. Believe me if you were Howard you would have had me stripped naked and been climbing all over me in seconds."
"I wanted too..." Sheldon whispered looking ashamed with himself "That's why I stopped."
"Do you think Howard would have stopped?" Amy asked secretly thrilled she may have the power to make Sheldon feel like this. When she saw he had shaken his head, agreeing with her statement, she continued "No one has ever wanted to do these things to me, with me, Sheldon."
"Stuart did." Sheldon stated firmly.
"No. Stuart just didn't want to be alone." Amy replied with conviction. "And even if that were not the case there is no way I would have done this with him. Only you Sheldon."
"Do you think we could go out?"
"Of course" Amy grinned. "I need to go to the library anyway. I want to see if they have a book I read about online. Let me go get dressed I'll be ready in ten minutes."
As he sat waiting patiently Sheldon cursed his own inhibitions. He had always thought he wasn't interested, was above such needs; but one look at a semi naked Amy and his fear was not that his mother may know what they were doing, but that he would not be able to stop if he had an audience of a thousand.
He had not mentioned to Amy how she affected his body other than to let her feel his heart racing, but the other manifestations would be more obvious to not just her but all observers, and his very real fear now was he would only have to glance at Amy and the image of her sat there, her breast nestled in his hand her breathing fast in his ear and once again he would be lost.
As Amy re-entered the room in another outfit he had not seen before he stood quickly moving to the door.
"OK lets go."
He was out of the door and half way to her car before she had even reached reception. When she finally caught up with him he was on his phone tapping away so she left him in peace and drove to the library. Once inside she wandered off knowing he was in need of space, and grateful for a little time herself she wandered through the books gravitating towards the science section before making herself focus and instead turning towards travel. She had been sat at a table surrounded by books for a long time when Sheldon eventually found her.
"What are you doing?" He asked curiously.
"Sheldon come look at these." Soon the pair of them were working together to find facts, making notes with Amy flicking through books and Sheldon checking and rechecking facts on his phone. Finally satisfied he grinned. "My mother will be so impressed with this that there is no way she is going to have time to notice anything we are doing. Her shock that I have even suggested visiting a church was going to be good, but this! Amy how did you find out about it?"
"When I couldn't sleep I did a little research. I wanted to check it was the same chapel. When I read about the legend, the miracle, I knew it would be the perfect place."
"Will you take the book with us?"
"No. With what we have written down and your eidetic memory it is not really necessary is it." she smiled. "Are you hungry? I though we could go get a snack maybe."
It was only after they had arrived back at the hotel in the late afternoon that Amy noticed the bag Sheldon took with him everywhere was heavier than normal as she moved it from the bed to the floor.
"Did you check out books at the library?" She asked.
"Yes." he nodded not looking at her but busying himself with the remote, flicking through he channels.
"There was a comic book section there? Or did you get something for work?"
"Err... yes just a little research." Sheldon muttered finally glancing in her direction. "Shall we book for dinner again?" He asked hoping the change in subject would take her focus away form his bag which she had now placed by the door.
"Yes we can, or if you would rather have room service?" Amy left the option open but couldn't help but grin when he replied "Oh the restaurant was nice. It will help me get used to non cheesecake factory type establishments too I guess."
"Yes as long as you don't order the food you would normally have at home here."
"But I like my routine."
"I know, but in New Mexico it is unlikely you will be able to stick to your routine and," Amy grinned "just think how impressed your mother will be to see you trying something new."
"Oh Amy my mother knows full well I have my schedule."
Amy shrugged. "OK well it is up to you, you book the table and I will go get ready; but make sure you give me half an hour."
As he watched her head towards her bathroom Sheldon grabbed his bag and shouting "I will be back in half and hour." returned to his own room. His finely tuned bathroom schedule had him showered and changed with 13 minutes to spare, so opening the bag he had tried to keep Amy from observing too closely he pulled out the book he had borrowed from the library. He hadn't lied, he had borrowed one book of the transcripts of Stephen Hawkins lectures and also a batman annual which he had had as a boy; but it was not this book he held on his knee staring nervously at now.
This book he had found in the Health section and he hoped the claims on the sleeve purporting to offer everything he needed to know about relationships and sex were not as far fetched as they seemed. Opening the book to the contents page he ran his eye down the list and deciding he was much more comfortable with the emotions and dating part of his relationship now he skipped straight to the physical relationship section. He grimaced as he was immediately faced with drawings of a naked man and woman. Body parts labelled, all of which he had covered in biology classes years ago and he admitted now, he had maybe dismissed from his mind as information never to be needed; much the same way he had dismissed why Shakespeare wrote in iambic pentameter. Unnecessary clutter!
Looking at the female drawing now Sheldon read the captions and noticed that Amy's reaction to his touching her earlier was described as a state of arousal. Satisfied, and a little smug, he had obviously been on the right tracks he let his gaze travel down the picture to see what other signs he should look for. "Oh boy!" He muttered, wondering if he would ever be brave enough to venture touching Amy there! He sat studying the picture for a while only to be jolted out of his thoughts by banging on the door. "Oh dear lord!" He shoved the book under the pillow and rushing to the door said "Amy I am sorry I got distracted."
"Everything is OK though, we are going to dinner?"
"Yes of course, it is all booked." Shutting the door behind him he looked at her and letting his gaze roam her figure and the block print simple A-line dress he said "That is another of Pennys choices?
"You like it?" Amy grinned.
"Well I can see the attraction of the shorter skirt" Sheldon stated plainly "and those shoes combined with the skirt certainly make your legs look most attractive."
"They do?" Amy grinned delighted Pennys assessment that Sheldon would be staring at her legs all night may prove accurate.
"Yes they do." Sheldon looked at her legs once more before holding her hand and heading towards the restaurant without further comment.
Once seated Amy decided to be more adventurous in her ordering and chose a dish of fajitas while Sheldon frowning said "Are you sure? Have you had them before?"
"Well not recently but it is nice to try new things."
Sheldon who had been on the verge of ordering the pizza he had had the previous evening said "OK, in that case I will have the same but I warn you Amy if I am ill I will be holding you fully responsible."
Grinning Amy said "If you are that unsure why don't you just try a different topping on your pizza for now, you can try some of my dinner then if you like it you can order it another time."
Considering this option far more acceptable Sheldon ordered a pizza with Chicken and vegetables explaining the ingredients were not so different from Amy's meal.
When their food arrived Sheldon looked at the sizzling dish placed before Amy and was more than a little grateful he had listened to her and not been so wild in his own meal. He was brave enough to try a little she offered him and was forced to admit it was very tasty and maybe he would consider it in the future.
"So what had you so distracted you were late?" Amy asked as she watched Sheldon finish his own dinner with enthusiasm to the last mouthful, upon which point he nearly choked and was forced to gulp down water. "Err... I was reading."
"Good book?"
He blushed so red Amy knew she was missing something and eyeing him curiously she said "What books exactly did you borrow today?"
"Batman, and Hawkins lectures." Sheldon replied quick.
"And?" Amy asked knowing neither of these would have caused him to go quite that shade of scarlet. "Hhmmm" Amy pondered grinning, "is it a book Howard would have chosen'?"
"Amy!" Sheldon whined. "Not here."
"So what? You will take me upstairs and show me?"
Shaking his head vigorously "no" Sheldon said "OK it was a book on …" Stopping abruptly as the waiter arrived with more drinks Sheldon muttered "I will tell you later."
"Not show me?"
"No! I need to process the information first."
"Colour me intrigued!" Amy laughed pretty sure she had a good idea what the book may be about and curious to see if Sheldon had enjoyed it.
As they made there way back to their rooms Amy said "So this book..."
"Amy you are not going to let this go are you?"
"Well" Amy said in a tone hinting at consideration but grinning at the same time, "I am curious I admit. And I suspect that my suspicions on the content may have something to do with out little encounter earlier. By the shade your face went I am guessing it is not a biology text book so maybe to stop me speculating further it would be easier for you to just show me."
Grumbling as he fumbled with his room key Sheldon entered his room and waiting until he was satisfied the door had been firmly closed behind her he moved to the bed and reaching under the pillow he retrieved the book shoving it at her.
"Why was it under your pillow?" She asked.
"I panicked." he admitted.
"Sheldon there is nothing to be ashamed of. We are both adults, everything we choose to do we choose together."
"I know." He nodded. "As I say I panicked."
"So was it informative?"
Sheldon shrugged. "I only read a page or so." He noticed Amy hadn't made to open the book at all just held it in her hands while watching him and his reaction to her questions.
"What exactly were you hoping to learn from this?" she waved the book slightly "I know your basic biology knowledge is sound, so it cant have been for reference of what to do exactly."
Sheldon shrugged. Then sighing at the conversation he knew he was not going to be able to avoid he moved and took the book from her and holding her hand led her to the sofa.
"OK, of course I know the mechanics. That is basic science knowledge. But you know I am not good with emotions. Up until today I have always struggled with dealing with the emotions of others, but today I realised my own emotions that as mysterious as yours. Why when I had held and kissed you before did the mere fact you had no clothes on the upper part of your body render me incapable of all thought? I knew the moment I saw your body that the image would be in my mind forever. When I touched you the reaction in you triggered a similar one in myself, yet you had not touched me at all. How is that possible..."
Amy felt her heart pound at the admission and smiling said "I take it we are talking arousal here, that you know you aroused me and you felt the same?" At his affirming nod she said "That's good. This is new to us both. I am guessing we are both going to find it a little overwhelming and maybe the fact you have this book can help us."
Sheldon frowned. "I am not sitting looking at dirty books with you!"
Amy grinned "It is not a dirty book Sheldon, I am not judging you either. I just think that maybe we can use it to highlight any fears we may have."
"The whole point of this trip was to make being with you easier but I feel in the space of a weekend it has got a whole lot harder."
At her snigger Sheldon blushed and scowled and muttered "I didn't mean that!"
"I'm sorry" she tried to control her grin. "Look we have had a good day forget the book now, lets have some tea and maybe I will let you see if you can work the fastenings of this dress!"
As the implications of her words sunk in Sheldon made to the phone to order room service as he watched Amy settle herself down on the sofa he tried to establish from this safe distance whether the large buttons on the front of the dress were functioning or merely decorative. Deciding he would need to be a whole lot closer to determine this fact he moved to the seat next to her and said "Tea will be here soon."
"Have you enjoyed the weekend?" Amy asked watching him sat nervously not looking at her but instead fiddling with his fingers.
"Yes, but I am not sure it has helped as I hoped it would."
"We have 3 weeks before our trip. Plenty of time to decide how you wish to proceed."
Nodding but too confused to answer Sheldon jumped up as the knocking on the door indicated their tea had arrived. Fussing over the cups and saucers Sheldon handed Amy her cup and settled back down.
"We could stop all contact," Amy said reluctantly. "Until after the trip. That way you will not have to lie to your mother."
Sheldon shrugged. "Maybe," he muttered his mind seemingly focused on his tea. Then placing his cup down he said "or maybe for tonight we forget the trip and just enjoy being here."
Smiling Amy said "I'd like that very much."
Relaxing further Sheldon shifted nearly closing the safe gap he had purposely left and placing his arms around her pulled her close. "I like it being just us." he murmured as his lips closed over hers. Pulling her closer Sheldon ran a hand the length of her back pulling her closer into his chest. Her own hands at his neck stroking. As Amy let her lips part to Sheldon invading tongue she grasped his short hair holding him close squeezing her eyes shut tight to the sudden emotion she felt. She was in a hotel room with her boyfriend making out and there was nowhere else she would rather be. A blast of cold air on her back had her gasping and pulling back to see Sheldon grinning. "You thought you would fool me with these!" he flicked the decorative buttons on the front of her dress.
As he moved back to kiss her Amy felt his fingers gently stroking her skin. It was as if he was memorising the feel of her back, from her shoulders to the dip of her waist. As he moved past the strap of her bra he made no move to open it, just repeating the stroking action until he pulled slowly away from her.
Amy noticed how heavy his eyes looked and knew her own were probably the same. She felt torn between wanting to take her dress off completely, to let Sheldon continue his exploration, and the need to reciprocate. Deciding to see if he would protest Amy watched his face for a reaction as she tugged his shirts from the waistband of his pants. His eyes widened a little but instead of the protest she had expected Sheldon grabbed the hem of his shirts and pulled them over his head. Amy greedily ran her eyes over his upper body. Slim and pale, just as she had imagined in her fantasies. Tentatively she reached her hand to his shoulders and let it run over his collar bone and pecs. Glancing at his face she saw he was watching her hands. Taking this as a sign he was happy for her to continue she moved to first stroke his chest hair before circling his nipples. His own gasp at the touch made Amy feel empowered, and not waiting to see his reaction she let one hand trail down to the softer skin of his belly.
"Amy stop!" Sheldon gasped and stilling her hands she looked back up to see Sheldon eyes squeezed shut breathing heavily. As he opened his eyes to look at her he said "I'm sorry. I need a minute."
Nodding Amy sat up and reached for her tea. She could feel the cool air on her back but noticing Sheldon did not reach for his shirts she ignored the draft and sipped her drink. Watching him closely she saw he had calmed his breathing and appeared to be searching for words that were making him nervous. Deciding to help Amy said "We can stop Sheldon. It has been a lovely weekend. The best."
Nodding he watched her closely and said in such a quiet voice she had to strain to hear him. "I was going to suggest we maybe..." he gulped nervously, "maybe we could spend the night together."
At her stunned expressions he added hastily "Not to have coitus. I just meant I don't want you to go back to your room. I want you to stay. Just to sleep."
"I will have to get my night things." Amy said a little nervously. And at his nod she made to stand up.
"Not yet." He held her hand to keep her next to him before saying, "When we go away with our parents I am not sure I will feel comfortable being like this. But when it is just us, well it feels right. Like I have been fighting against it for too long."
"It does feel right, scary but right." Amy agreed. "Maybe we will never be like
Penny and Leonard, happy with public displays. I thought I wanted that but now I am not sure. I like this. Just us. It feels right."
Nodding Sheldon said "I think while you go get your night things I will take a shower." And waiting for her to leave Sheldon stood and made his way slowly and awkwardly to the bathroom.
On her return having grabbed her nightdress, dressing gown and her toothbrush Amy let herself back in with the key she had picked up on leaving, and hearing Sheldon in the shower loaded their tea things onto the tray she put them outside and sat down to wait. Checking her phone she saw Penny had sent her several texts checking she was OK and making sure she hadn't killed Sheldon. She also had a message from her mother saying she was looking forward to thanksgiving and had received a call form Sheldon's mother.
Rereading the message Amy frowned. How had Sheldon's mother got her own mothers number? Why on earth were they talking? Moving to the bathroom door Amy knocked and opening it was greeted by Sheldon squealing "What are you doing? You can not be in here!"
"Its OK I cant see through the curtain. Sheldon how did your mother get my mothers number?"
"What? Really Amy I am in the shower can this not wait?"
His frustrated, panicked tone had her rolling her eyes and saying "OK, but hurry up!"
"It is you that is making the process longer!" He muttered.
As she closed the door she heard him mumbling. Deciding she may as well get changed, she quickly stripped of her dress and bra and pulled her night dress on. The bathroom door opening and Sheldon appearing glaring at her caused her to frown. "What?" She asked unsure why he was looking so hostile, this had been his idea after all.
He didn't reply just passed her and climbed into bed as she went to brush her teeth.
It felt strange getting into bed with him there. Laying close to the edge she said "Good night Sheldon."
"Goodnight Amy." He turned of the light and they lay in darkness.
Amy was just on the verge of falling asleep when suddenly she felt Sheldon shift.
"This is your fault!" he said into the darkness and sitting up he swung his legs over the side, his back too her.
"What's wrong?"
"This isn't going to work?"
"Me being here? You want me to go? What's wrong?" As much as she had not expected to be in Sheldon's bed this weekend, the thought of being here then having to leave seemed to much to handle and she sat up too, trying to find his shape in the darkness.
"Sheldon what's wrong? Talk to me."
Sighing Sheldon said "A combination of that damned book, my blasted memory and you laying there means I will get no sleep tonight!"
"I haven't done anything!" Amy stressed a little indignity.
"No, but I can smell you! And I know how easy it is to undo that night gown and you came back too soon."
Frowning at the last part of the statement Amy said "Too soon?" As the words had passed her lips the meaning became clear and she said "Oh... you were... in the shower... oh Sheldon. I'm sorry!"
"The book said if I did that it would help. Relieve the tension. But you came in and... now I cant sleep." Sheldon muttered the words half ashamed half frustrated.
"I'll go." Amy stood up quickly grabbing her clothes from the side. "We can meet for breakfast." And without waiting for his reply she left.
As he lay back down Sheldon groaned. It didn't matter. She may have left the room but he could still see her when he closed his eyes, still smell her.
It was a long while and a cold shower later that Sheldon finally drifted off to sleep that night
73
A/N: Sorry for the wait. The next few weeks here are going to be strange. This story is actually becoming my grounding point! (Does that make me sad!?) Things between our couple will now move forward hence the change in rating ;-) A x