A/N - So, this is a thing that is happening.

First off, sorry about the wait; I was having software troubles on my computer for a bit there, but it's all better now.

Secondly, if you've glanced down to the chapter title, you probably figured out what the thing that is happening is, so I'm not going to beat around the bush anymore and I'll just say, "God, I sure hope I'm not fucking up Kid's character too much!" Medusa was easy. I can do Medusa in my sleep. Writing someone like Kid? Kind of tricky, and I don't want to disrespect the character by throwing all that lovely canon personality completely out the window. So, if I make a goof somewhere along the line, please please let me know. I don't plan on writing too many scenes from the perspective of canon characters, but those that I do I want to get right.

On a completely unrelated note, I've opened up a little poll on my profile, so check it out! It won't affect anything in the story; I'm just curious.

Back to the contents of this chapter. Once again, I am well aware of the historical liberties being taken (the castle in this arc was destroyed way back in the eighteenth century), but I'm still going to use the excuse of "Soul Eater is anachronism central, I'm just following the spirit of the source material! Also, castles are cool, shut up." I imagine this is more accurate than most fictional stuff you all have read about Elizabeth Báthory, if indeed you've read any fictional stories involving her at all. For the most prolific female serial killer in history, you sure don't hear a lot about her. Weird.

This isn't just a filler arc, though; there's stuff that's tied a little into the main plot, just you wait. The main purpose of this, though, is a little experiment to see how far outside of my box I can go.

I'd like to thank MegglesGG for leaving a delightful review! Ha ha, yes, be flabbergasted by the sudden and mysterious plot point that won't be explained for many arcs! I feed off of your surprise. I didn't actually plan on having that scene be in there way back in the beginning (though there were a lot of things I didn't plan, as you'll see), but let me tell you I'm glad I did, and not just because it helps lead up to all the Main Plot Stuff. *muffled evil cackling in the distance*

Notes will be at the end of the chapter.

DISCLAIMER: Soul Eater is the intellectual property Atsushi Ōkubo. I have no intention of monetizing my fanwork, and this is merely an enjoyable passer of time.

Chapter Thirty-Five - Countess of Blood - The Shinigami's Struggle Against Báthory, Part One

In the northeastern corner of Hungary, divided in half by the Kraszna River, lay the old town of Nagyecsed. With a population of about sixty-seven hundred people, Nagyecsed was a very small town, out of the way from the rest of society. There was nothing too terrible notable about the village. Nothing, that is, except for the crumbling, decrepit castle that towered over the rest of the buildings, casting a dim shadow across the town in the light of the chortling moon.

A perfect place, Kid thought, For a Kishin Egg who calls herself a countess to make her home. He glided over Nagyecsed on Beelzebub, yellow gaze scrutinizing the village below. This place was the hunting ground of Elizabeth Báthory, a woman who'd turned into a Kishin Egg and declared herself to be the "Countess of Blood." This place was fairly isolated, and no one from the village had sent a plea for help, so it had taken a while for the DWMA to learn of Báthory's actions. It was only through a tip from an anonymous source, delivered with Maka's feline companion as the messenger, that news had finally reached the Academy. By then, she'd already amassed a sizable body count. But that body count was all that was known about the Countess; any attempts to gather information on her led to the scouting meisters returning to Death City broken and bloodied with nothing to show for it.

This sort of mission would have been far too dangerous for your typical one-star meister, but Kid was anything but typical. Leaning forward slightly, he willed Beelzebub's altitude to lower, hoping to get a better look around.

"Hey, Kid," Patti piped up from her usual spot in his right hand. "Why don't we just go inside the big spooky castle? I bet that's where the blood lady is!"

"You're probably right," Kid admitted, pivoting in mid-air to face the centuries-old stronghold in question. He could tell that it had been beautiful once; whoever had been in charge of the architecture had a keen eye for details, and not a single parapet was out of place. But time had taken its toll on the castle, and now the walls were crumbling and overgrown with ivy and every watchtower except one had collapsed. The roof of the castle itself had partially caved in, exposing the inside to the moon's leer. How disappointing. I wish I'd been able to see it in its prime. "But," he continued, forcing himself to focus on what Patti had said, "we can't just burst in without doing some preliminary reconnaissance. This Elizabeth Báthory isn't just deadly, she's clever. No doubt she knows that someone from the DWMA will have come to deal with her."

"Hey, anything that lets us put off fighting her is okay in my book," Liz said. "But what's flying about overhead going to do? Why don't we just go down and ask the villagers about her? I mean, she's supposed to be like the countess of this place, right? They've gotta know something."

"Because," Kid replied, "there are still some things left unexplained. This place is fairly isolated, but someone would have been able to get some sort of message out about her before now if they wanted to. So why didn't they?" He narrowed his eyes. "It's possible that she's controlling them through fear of death, but it's also possible that they were implicit through free will. I'd rather not be attacked the minute I land."

"Oh. That makes sense." Patti bounced up and down in his mind's eye, cheeks rosy. "But what happens if the people down there do wanna attack us? Are we gonna fight them?" She sounded way too enthusiastic about fighting human foes. Kid had to remind himself that he'd first met the girls when they were street thugs.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "We'll just have to hope that it doesn't come to that."

As if in response, a terrified feminine shriek filled the air. With a strong intake of breath, Kid turned the skateboard around again, desperately trying to pinpoint where the shriek had come from. A second scream gave him the location he sought. He swore under his breath and urged Beelzebub forwards, hoping it wasn't too late.

As he drew closer, he saw what was going on. A tall, thin, warped figure loomed over a girl sprawled on the ground, her platinum-streaked hair sticking out all over the place. It was the girl who had screamed, holding something small out in front of her defensively. "S-stay back!" she shouted in a faint Hungarian accent, brandishing the object in her hands like a small child brandished a toy sword. "I s-said stay back! I h-have a Sharpie and I'm not afraid to use it!"

The figure laughed. It was a harsh, dry cackle, like knives to Kid's ears. "You stupid, weak little girl. What possible use would a marker have against the Countess's hand-picked Constable?" The figure - the Constable - leaned forward, an unnaturally wide and toothy grin stretching across his gaunt and sallow features. "You've been chosen, too," he hissed. "The Countess is running low on beautiful women here in this pitiful little village, so she's resorted to… average ones until she finds a way to expand her influence."

Not if I have anything to say about it. Kid had heard enough. Raising Liz and Patti, he fired, unleashing a barrage of gunfire upon the Constable. He screamed and stumbled back, raising his clawed hands upwards to shield his face. He had very uneven teeth, Kid noticed; all over the place, some sharpened to a finepoint, others broken and dull, and even more missing altogether. The corner of Kid's eye twitched. It was a very unpleasant sight to behold, honestly.

The Constable glared with fury in his pallid eyes up at Kid, who was still hovering several meters above the ground on Beelzebub. The girl was staring too, but her expression was that of marvel and not hatred. "What is this?" the Constable snarled. "What are you, flying boy? Why are you interfering with the Countess's law?"

"You countess's 'law' is murder, and contradicts those of the rest of the world." Kid retorted. He could get a good read on the Constable's soul, now that he was closer; this thing was a Kishin Egg. It seemed like Báthory hadn't been the only one who'd turned to the path of evil in this town. Just how many more Eggs were there? "The DWMA strictly prohibits the consumption of human souls for any reason. Báthory's soul is forfeit."

The Constable burst into raucous laughter, showing off even more of those hideous teeth of his. "Idiot flying boy!" he cackled. "The Countess of Blood bows to no laws, not even those of a god!"

Kid's eyes narrowed dangerously. "We'll see about that." He opened fire again.

The Constable didn't stand a chance against the power of the Grim Reaper and his demon guns; his death was swift enough to barely be worth speaking about. His corpse, just as ugly and twisted and wrong as it had been during the weak facsimile of life he'd led, dissolved away into the frost-hardened dirt, leaving behind the scaly red soul of a Kishin egg.

Kid knew that he'd collected an even number of Kishin Eggs for both Liz and Patti, and he hoped that it was just the Constable and the countess here; he'd hate to have collected an odd number of souls. As he removed Patti's magazine and held her out so that the Constable's soul could get sucked into her weapon form (the younger weapon bouncing up and down in the back of his mind's eye and chanting "yummy yum"), he noticed out of the corner of his eye that the Hungarian girl had gotten to her feet and was staring at him with wide eyes. "Are you a meister?" she asked in a hushed voice.

"I am," he replied. "I'm here to dispose of the Countess. I'm sorry that the Academy wasn't able to send someone sooner; we were trying to get an idea of how bad it was, but…"

He was interrupted by the girl reaching forward and gripping his hands tightly with her own. "It was the Constable," she said. "He kept sniffing out all the meisters who came here, and then he'd punish us for trying to tell them what was really going on. He was the law enforcer here, he and the others killed all the police here, and he also… he also brings the girls to the Countess so… so…" Her voice stumbled and broke, her shoulders shaking as she bit back a sob.

Shifting Liz so that he was pinning her between his arm and side, Kid reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Relax," he said. "You don't have to worry; we're here to help."

The girl nodded. "R-right," she said, wiping at her eyes. "Sorry. I guess that I'm just a bit shaken up. Nearly getting dragged off and exsanguinated and all. My name's Diana, by the way," she added. "You probably haven't heard much, s-so I'd be happy to tell you what I know. Which, really, is not that much either."

"Well, we'll need to know everything we can about the Countess," Kid said. "Judging by how she controls this place, I'd say she has an advantage over us right now. So any information you might have will be greatly appreciated." Diana's cheeks turned an interesting shade of red. "Now, you mentioned earlier how there were 'others.' Are there more Kishin Eggs here than just the Constable and the Countess?"

Diana nodded. "There were four of them in total." At least it's an even number. "You already know about the Countess and, well… I guess the Constable isn't a problem anymore, thank god." Her gaze flicked to the spot where the Constable had stood and back. "There's also the Seneschal. He manages all of the domestic stuff, I think. He decides who gets granted an audience to the Countess and all that. He comes down every so often to make sure we're all… compliant. And then there's the Cook. I've only ever seen him once, and that was when they were… they were taking this place over. Ever since then, he's always been in the castle. I don't think that I want to think about what he does for the Countess."

Kid nodded. So, the Countess wasn't alone in her takeover. But she's still probably the most powerful; no she used that power to keep the other three in line. "What about Báthory herself?" he asked. "Do you know anything about her?"

Diana's eyes widened and she took a step back. "You're not supposed to use her name!" she warned. "You're supposed to call her the Countess, or the Constable will… wait. Right, crap, he's dead. Scratch that, call her whatever you want. As for what I know about her… how much does the Academy know about her? Besides the fact that she's evil, I mean."

"That's about it."

"Oh. Did you know that she only feasts on the souls of women? Do you know what she does with their bodies?"

This was definitely news to Kid. "No, I haven't heard about any of that. Why is she only targeting women?"

"Because…" Diana looked like she was about to be sick. "I heard the Constable and Seneschal talking about this. I don't think that any of us were supposed to hear about this. The Countess… she bathes in the blood. Of the girls she takes."

Kid instinctively took a step back, eyes widening as he processed what he'd just been told. "What?" he hissed. Normally, a Kishin Egg was only interested in the soul of a human. There were those who believed that consuming the blood as well as the soul made them stronger, but they were few and far between. To hear of someone bathing in blood...

Diana nodded, locking gazes with him. "She wants their beauty," she said, "as well as their power. She thinks that bathing in the blood of beautiful women will make her the same way, and that eating their souls were make her strong enough to eventually become sovereign over everything."

Kid remembered what the Constable had said, about this young woman being "chosen" for something. "So, the Countess chooses the women from the village and has the Constable and the Seneschal stealing them from the streets," he said, frowning in disgust.

"That's the tee-ell-dee-ar version, yeah." Diana fiddled with the marker in her hand, pulling the cap off and putting it back on again, and for a moment Kid was reminded of the way Alecto fiddled with her hair ribbon. "I don't really suppose I have to warn you to be careful? I mean, you seem like you know how to deal with this problem better than I ever could. I'll be heading home now. I'm sure my little sister is worried about me; she told me not to go out, that it wasn't worth walking the streets at night for a damn marker. Shoulda listened… dunno why I'm the older sister, really…" She devolved into unintelligible mumbling, the flush of her cheeks deepening.

"It's probably best that you get back home as soon as possible," Kid agreed. "Be careful. The Constable may be dead, but that doesn't mean the village is safe. Not yet." By morning, he planned to have changed that.

"All right. Erm, one moment, please." Diana reached out and grabbed Kid's hand, pulling it close. Popping the cap of the sharpie off with her thumb, she scrawled something onto his palm. Kid was far too shocked by the sudden boldness that he could only stammer out a, "What are you doing?!"

"Writin' my number," she replied. She paused to inspect her work, then released his hand and stepped back with a nod. "Feel free to call when you're done saving the town and everything." She turned and jogged off towards the direction of the more well-let part of the village.

Still a little stunned, Kid stared down at the small, eight-digit string of numbers on his hand. Liz and Patti turned to their human forms, each one leaning on one of his shoulders and peering around him to get a better look. "Ooh, look who's popular," Liz teased.

"Kid's got a giiiirlfriend, Kid's got a giiiirlfriend," Patti chanted, resting her chin on his shoulder and giggling.

Now it was Kid's turn to blush. "The two of you are being ridiculous," he said, trying to rub away the offending digits with the corner of his jacket sleeve. If she was going to write all over his hand, couldn't she have at least written on the other one as well?

"Yeah," I guess you're right," Liz agreed, moving away and stretching her hands behind her head. "Besides, that girl doesn't stand a chance, not when you and Alecto are a thing. You guys are a thing, right?"

Kid looked up at his partner sharply. "What could have possibly given you that idea?"

Liz shrugged. "Well, you're heading over to her place for a tea date, right?"

"It's not a date."

"Denial's a pretty big river, Kid. Don't you think she's kinda cute?"

"I think she is!" Patti piped up. "She's got really fluffy hair, it's so curly and pink and pretty."

"She's certainly got a lot of that, yeah."

There was certainly something about the way the time meister looked that was appealing, but… "What I think about Alecto's appearance," Kid said, thoroughly flustered now, "is not the point. The point is that we are two friends having some tea and talking. That's it." He turned his attention to the important matter at hand: the numbers written on his hand. No matter how hard he rubbed at the ink, it just wouldn't come off. Did that girl really have to use Sharpie?! "Damn it," he grumbled. "Girls, we're going to need to make a quick stop at the local store before we do anything else. I need to get some rubbing alcohol…"

"Kid, did you really need to spend ten minutes trying to figure out which brand of rubbing alcohol would get the ink off your skin fastest? It would have probably been quicker just to grab the nearest one and use that."

"Well, if someone ever writes on my hand again, I'll now be able to get it off quicker." At least, that was Kid's defense. The truth was, he was just trying to distract himself from the growing knots that formed when he thought about how his balance was off. (Well, more off that usual no you idiot don't think about the stripes.) But he'd gotten the marker off in the end, and now he and the Thompsons were standing in front of the decrepit old castle, ready to go inside and face Báthory and her lackeys.

"Jeez, that's a lot of house!" Patti commented, raising her hand to shield her eyes from the bright moonlight as she gazed up at the towering walls and massive wooden door in front of them. "Hey Liz, why did kings and queens always have such huge castles? What was the point?"

"You mean besides the fact that they were rich and spoiled and wanted to show it all off?" Liz deadpanned. "Probably because they had lots of servants and helpers and they needed room for all of them, too."

"Ohhh, okay! That makes sense."

Kid straightened the sleeves of his blazer and stepped forward. "I don't think we'll be able to get this door open by ourselves," he said. "We'll need to find another way in." He held out his hand, ready to call Beelzebub to him, but before he could, a deep, groaning creak split the sky, catching the attention of the three students. They stared upwards in surprise as the the doors began to open, swinging inwards ever so slowly.

"Hello, hello." A person stepped into few, a tall, rounded man dressed to the nines in velvets and silks, with slicked-back hair that was dripping some sort of red liquid. Kid didn't need to guess what it was. "I am the Seneschal," the man said, dipping into a low bow with a flourish of his hand, "and I welcome you to my mistress's castle… young Reaper."

A/N - "Hey, Nocte, isn't your real name Diana and that's why you always sign off as Diana 'Nocte?'" Yeah. "And you have an extra named Diana who wrote her number on the hand of the character you're attracted to." Yup. "You're shameless, Nocte, did you know that?" Oh, yes. Well, kinda. I needed an extra to be the exposition source for this chapter, and my sister jokingly suggested that I just toss myself in. Now, if Alecto's retconned bisexuality is any indication, my sister should never make joking comments around me because I will take them 100% seriously and they will actually happen. So, yeah, fictional Hungarian me actually serves a bit of purpose beyond shameless cameo.

(I'm not actually Hungarian, though. Never even been to Europe.)

Also, the Sharpie bit really did happen… sort of, in a way. I'd been partnered up with someone for a science project, and since a lot of what we needed to do needed to happen outside of school, I wrote my number on their hand so we could communicate and figure out schedules and stuff. Why their hand? Because they didn't have any paper on them. Why Sharpie? Because I was a goddamn idiot who didn't stop to think about whether or not scribbling on someone's skin with permanent marker was a good idea. No harm was done, but I felt a bit embarrassed by it all. Which is obviously why I revealed this story for dozens of people to see.

Jeez, my only role in my own story is to dump exposition and inconvenience the characters I love. Story of my life, right there.

No Alecto, no Latin. Maybe next arc.

Chapter 36 will be up at some point. In the meantime, feel free to favorite and leave a review telling me what you think!

- Diana "Nocte"