A/N: What do you reckon of the story? I have ideas of where it is going, but do you like it?

Dally was running his hand through his hair, still with the pained expression on his face. He didn't really deal well with crying chicks. He went to reach out to touch me again but faltered, thinking I'd pull away again. So I just stood there, bawling my eyes out.

Ponyboy knocked on the door. "Blue? Everythin' ok in there? If not I'll get rid a Dally for ya."

I let out another sob but Dally answered for me. "Fuck off kid, we got this under control!" He was still majorly angry.

"Don't sound like it Dal."

"I said FUCK OFF!"

I jumped slightly at his raised voice, but the sharp inhale caused a shot of pain from my ribs so I gasped. I managed to get out "s'ok Pony, just give us some time."

He didn't sound too convinced. "Ok sis, just holler if ya need me."

"She won't need ya kid she's got me, now beat it 'fore I beat you!" He was turned yelling at the door before turning back to me.

"Just cool it will ya, he's only lookin' out for me, more than what you've done these past coupla weeks." I lowered myself onto my bed with great difficulty, Dal still unsure about offering help, not that I'd have accepted it. I didn't need anything off him right now. I pulled a tissue off the bedside table and used it to try and stop the stream of tears which were still falling.

Dally let out a long exhale and rubbed his face with his hands before sitting down next to me. He looked at his hands for a few minutes before breaking the silence between my sobs.

"I am sorry doll. Sorry I reacted that way. I panicked… I woulda been back that night but I just didn't know what to do." He looked up at me, so I looked down at my hands, not wanting to make eye contact with him. "I panicked cos I got nothin' to offer ya, nothin' to offer a kid. I had a good for nothin' dad and I'm gunna be a good for nothin' dad… already proved that one didn't I."

Another moment's silence passed.

"Just cos you're dad didn't do right by you don't mean you have to follow in his footsteps. You're your own man Dal, you've proven that many times, you make a point of showin' that no one can tell ya what to do. It was your choice to walk out on me like that. No one elses."

He grunted and lay back on the bed, hands on his face again, he always did that when he was uncomfortable or stressed, he'd rub the bridge of his nose or his face and run his hands through his hair. I'd have killed right now to lean over and comfort him, but I restrained myself. I wasn't going to forgive him that easy, he'd fucked up bad this time.

"I don't know what else to say Blue. I fucked up ok? I panicked and fucked off and left ya when ya needed me most. I get that. What can I say, I'm a shit boyfriend ok, I'd have made an even shitter dad, you know that. I ended up in the cooler that night for fucks sake. But after a few days I realised I fully intended on comin' back that night and at least tryin'… the only reason I was gunna try was for you. I don't wanna lose you, although I almost did. I thought of nothin' but you while I was in there, and the kid."

I lay myself back on the bed, so I was lying next to him, sitting was starting to hurt my ribs, this way it was harder to see his face and for him to judge my reactions seeing as we were both staring at the ceiling. But I said nothing.

He sighed again. "When Tim told me what happened when he picked me up it took every ounce of self restraint I had to not go and hunt those bastards down straight away. But I realised I needed to see ya… I'm sorry you had to go through that, sorry that I wasn't there to look after you… I love you babe."

I stifled a sob at that. But I didn't know what to say.

He lost his patience after another moment's silence and brought his fist down on the mattress causing the bed to shake slightly. "Will you fucking say something?! I'm tellin' ya everythin' here!"

"I thought you'd left me for good Dal! When you walked out the door and didn't come back I thought that was it. Then when I realised you were in jail I got angry, angry that you'd chosen that over stayin' with me, as usual. I can't deal with that, every time I need you ya get locked up! Then when this whole thing happened the first thing I wanted to do was have a hug from you, but you were in jail so that didn't happen."

"I'm here now ain't I?"

"It's a bit fuckin' late now Dal."

"No. It ain't. An' I ain't leavin' till this is sorted."

"It is sorted. I can't be around you right now Dal. I'm crushed about this, you ain't."

He pounded the bed again and rolled over to his side so he was leaning over slightly. "There you go again, tellin' me what I feel. I am fucking crushed about this! How many times do I need to tell ya I'm sorry! I wanted to come back and try, I promise you that. So don't fuckin' tell me I ain't sad about this!"

I looked into his eyes; his dark blue eyes looked like they were filling with tears. I was kind of taken aback. As was he, he sensed he was tearing up so he rubbed his face, frustrated.

Maybe I should cut him some slack. I believed him.

I sighed. "I believe you Dal. I'm just upset, tired, confused, angry and broken. You broke my trust by abandoning me and now I'm grieving over the life we coulda had. I just don't know what to do." I started to cry again, everything was just rushing over me all at once and I didn't know what to do.

Dal reached his arm around my head and used his other hand to rub my non broken hand, leaning his forehead on mine he let me just cry, and I swear I felt one or two drops fall from his eyes.

This was a lot of intimacy on his part. I mean sure we'd been "intimate" but this was emotionally intimate, and it was new to both of us. After a while I stopped sobbing and he propped himself back up again.

"So, where do we go from here then?"

I sighed. "I still love you, I'm just gunna need some space to come to terms with this Dal. And so do you."

"Sure. But I ain't leavin' ya. We ain't breakin' up."

"No, I don't want to. I just mean I'm still angry with you, you're gunna need to earn back my trust, you really fuckin' hurt me."

"Ok, I get it." I could tell his patience was wearing thin again, I'd been lucky to get what emotional conversation I did outta him, so I left it at that.

"I'm gunna need some sleep Dal, and some more painkillers, I ain't feelin' so good."

"Sure, yeah. I'll get outta your way." He helped me move so I was lying down the right way in the bed, I let him plant a kiss on my lips before he made a move for the door. "I promise you one thing babe, I'm gettin' ya outta here, you deserve better than this."

I smiled at him. "Thanks Dally."

xxxx xxxx

I woke a few hours later to Soda bringing my dinner through to me. He helped me sit up and sat the pasta on my bedside table before crawling across the bed so he was sat next to me.

"How ya feelin'?"

"Alright I s'pose… pretty quiet out there, wha's goin' on?"

"Pony's got Diane over so he's out on the veranda with her, everyone else has gone round to meet with Tim Shepard. Plannin' a rumble it seems."

"Oh, I see."

"Yeah they've all had enough. Tim had been holdin' off on it for a while seein' as what happened last time. But it's gone too far."

"I see. Dal gone with them?"

"Yeah, he's goin' to see Buck quickly after, but he's comin' back here."

"I've heard that before."

He paused for a minute before asking "What happened with you guys?"

I chewed my mouthful of pasta before answering. "We talked through some stuff. He's sorry, said he was gunna come back and try with the baby and that. But he freaked out cos he reckoned he would be a shit father. Reckoned he had nothin' to offer."

"I could see that. He's not even 20 yet, he's not got a proper job, no money, it's a lotta pressure for a guy. He panicked. But I know he would never have left ya."

"Didn't feel like that at the time… but I can see where you're comin' from. And we made our peace with it. But it's gunna take a while for him to get back in my good books."

"Fair enough. I'm glad though. He needs you, more than he'll let on."

"Hmmm… what did he go to Buck's for anyways?"

"Somethin' about work and a car. Nothin' serious."

"I just hope he don't go anywhere and do anythin' stupid."

"Nah Steve and Two-Bit are gunna go with him, just incase."

"Ha. I'd like to see Steve and him right now. That would be awkward."

"Yeah Steve ain't exactly in Dal's good books is he."

"No way. Not after that night at Buck's that ya'll found out about us… seems like so long ago now."

"Yeah it does. I guess a lot happens in a few months. But look on the bright side, you've got the rest of your lives ahead of ya, ya got plenty more time to mess up in!"

I scowled at him, "Pffff speak for yaself Sodapop… but yeah, I guess we do have plenty more time… he wants to move away from here with me."

He looked slightly taken aback by this statement. "Oh yeah? Where to?"

"Dunno, just away from all this stuff. Somewhere better I guess, fresh start."

"Not too far I hope, can't be too far away from my other half."

"Better half… you should come too. Get a job at another garage, or open your own."

"Hmmm, it's a nice dream."

"It don't have to be a dream Soda. We shouldn't have to fight for everythin' in life. Just put in the hard work."

"True." We sat in silence for a few moments while I ate.

"What's happenin' with you and Janet then?"

"We're goin' great. I really love her, more than Sandy. After her I thought that was it. But Janet is amazin'."

"I'm glad, you deserve to be happy."

"So do you… but that's enough of the sappy stuff for today." He flashed his trademark smile at me and climbed off the bed.

"Make yourself useful Soda and help me up? I gotta pee."

"Well that was a great end to the lovely moment." He smirked and helped me off the bed, taking my plate he went through to the kitchen while I hobbled to the toilet.

I hobbled back to my room, noticing Diane and Pony cuddled on the sofa on the porch through the living room window. It was sweet and I decided that I really needed to patch things up with Dally, sooner rather than later. It'd be hard, but I had to.

As I walked back into my room I stopped to grab a magazine off my dresser, seeing the corner of the box that was behind there poking out, the box from Dally's room at Buck's. I knew I shouldn't but I really wanted to see what was in there. Curiosity got the better of me and I pulled it out and, with great difficulty, picked it up and sat on the bed.

I wiggled the little sliding latch across and lifted the lid. I was surprised at what was inside. A lot of old letters and papers, some quite crinkled. I read the bottom of one to see who it was from, it was from his mum. I placed it back with the others, not wanting to invade his privacy any more than I already had. There were only a handful of letters in there, all from his mum, a couple of keys, some other bits and pieces, then a couple of drawings he'd clearly done as a young child and a couple of photos. The first was of what I assumed to be his young mum and dad. They were dressed up as if they were at a prom and both looked really happy. He got his dark hair off his dad, and looked a hell of a lot like him, but the deep blue eyes were his mum's. She was beautiful, and the resemblance he had to his dad was uncanny. I could see why he worried about turning out like him. They both looked so happy in the picture. I wondered when it all went wrong. The second was a picture of him and his mum when he was a baby and the last was a picture of us all from a couple of years ago. Would only have been a few months or a year after he got here. I remember it being taken, he had me on his shoulders with Darry, Soda, Pony and Johnny doing silly poses next to us. We had been messing around in the garden during summer and mum had brought out her camera and snapped a couple of photos of us playing. There's a couple from that day in frames in the living room, but I hadn't seen this one.

I turned the photo over and on the back in my mum's handwriting was 'for Dallas' and a loveheart. I smiled thinking of how much my mum had liked Dally, and that he'd managed to keep all this stuff over the years. I wondered how he'd managed it being in and out of prison, with or without a solid house to stay in and it made me sad.

He was just scared, that's why he kept running away from things. He'd never had anything permanent his whole life. And I wanted to give him that, come hell or high water.

I put the box back where he'd left it and made my way back to bed. I slept lightly for a while till I heard everyone come back, catching bits of what was said but remaining in a happy sleepy state.

After another short while Dally, made his way into the room. He leaned over and grabbed a pillow and put it on the floor and lay down, wrapping himself up with the blanket he'd brought through from the living room.

I smirked a little bit, waited till he got fully comfortable then said, "What are you doin' down there Winston? Decided to become a guard dog?"

He sat up, "Thought I was in the doghouse."

"Ya still are, but I need someone to keep me warm."

He got up and took off his jeans and t-shirt, sliding into bed next to me in his boxers, careful not to move or disturb me too much with my sore ribs. I cuddled my head into him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"God I missed this."

"Me too Winston, me too."