Thirty-seven
By the time Connect 3 hit the stage, she and Caitlyn and ready to take to the crowd. Mitchie gives one of the boy's assistants Shane's coat and a security guard leads them across the front of the crowd in front of the security barrier. Those fans up front go crazy seeing she and Caitlyn there, they reach out to grab their hands and Mitchie stops for a few photos before stopping in the centre.
"Do you think we look like total groupies?" Caitlyn yells out to her over the screaming.
Mitchie cannot help but laugh, moves to speak into her ear so no one else can hear, "Well you're sleeping with a member of the band aren't you?"
The moment the boys are on stage, craziness ensues. Shane gives Mitchie a wink as they begin to play their newest song and she and Caitlyn are instantly dancing a long to the upbeat tune with all of the Connect 3 fans.
By the time the chorus comes around, Mitchie and Caitlyn are literally jumping up and down.
"The two of us tonight, we can make it last forever. We're in the neon lights, it's just you and me together. Hollywood, it's the time, the stars are shining for you and me tonight in this city that dreams are made of."
After a couple of hours and different takes, the boys are finished. Mitchie tries to hang around to take as many photos as she can over the barricades with the fans. Security is at her side a few minutes later and she knows Shane has sent him over.
"I wish I had known you'd be here Mitchie, I would have brought your album along." A red head tells her after taking a photo together.
"It's okay. Give me your phone." She says, signs the back of it.
She's signing for as many as she can until finally a second security man comes over to tell her she needs to leave. Unwillingly she does where she is ushered back behind the stage onto the beach where Shane is waiting for her, "You okay?"
"I'm fine." She assures him, "They weren't psycho or anything."
"Yeah, I just get worried that I can't protect you. You never know there could be a psycho one, it happens. I just don't want anything to ever happen to you. I love you."
"I love you too." It's sweet really that he wants to be protective of her, most of all it's still the best when he tells her he loves her.
They go back to Mitchie's place that night to be alone, her parents are vacationing down in Mexico and she feels like it's been the longest time since she's been there.
It's a little after eleven at night and they are starving so she decides to cook up a big serving of pasta for the two of them.
Shane's sitting on the kitchen counter watching her, asks her how she liked the song.
"I loved it. You know, for cookie-cutter pop star stuff." She quotes him from the second time they met, that very first year together at Camp Rock.
"Well aren't you funny." He pretends to laugh, "Speaking of which, we're in London in about a week. Your promo is going to be full on you know?"
"I know, which is why we shall rest the next week. Then when we are back from doing promo from over the pond, we have a few weeks before i'm in South America touring and then a month off together before we get to tour Europe together. Busy busy busy."
"It's been a while since i've been to South America, i'll be glad to do so with you. They're quite passionate down there."
"Are you jealous of some male attention I may get?"
"Well no, because i'll be there besides you."
She smiles, as she drains the water from the cooked pasta and tosses it in the pan on the stove to mix in with the chicken she had cooked, "Can we just turn it all off for this week, try and remain as normal as possible until we have to fly again."
"Of course, I know just how normal we can be upstairs." He chuckles.
There are some leftovers once they're done eating and she wants to throw them out, knowing they probably won't be back to eat it.
"No, i'll eat it later. It was really good." He compliments her, grabbing a plastic container to put it into before popping it into the refrigerator.
Upstairs in the comfort of her very own bedroom, she doesn't hesitate in pushing his jacket off his shoulders, he pulls his shirt over his head as she does the same with her own.
His hands are on her in a moment and it's just like the world stands still under his touch. By the time clothing is out of the equation, Shane has lifted her up and placed her on her bed.
It's like a hundred camera flashes are going off in her mind in that moment, the way Shane's lips are upon hers, their laboured breathing and racing hears synchronised together.
He makes everything okay, he makes everything better.
…
Arriving in London, she is only allowed a couple hours at the hotel before having to hit her very first interview. She's jet-lagged as hell and thankfully they are staying at the SoHo hotel which is relatively central to everything.
Shane is exhausted having got no sleep what so ever on the flight so he had fallen asleep in the hotel room almost immediately. Mitchie however was operating on a few hours sleep, with a coffee in hand Brown was leading her to an awaiting car that was taking her to an interview with 'The Hits Radio'.
Brown had been visiting family and had already arrived in London a few days beforehand. Mitchie hadn't seen him in a few week and had missed him.
"You look positively exhausted, love." He notes as the arrive at the studio.
"I am." She says light heartedly, "But you know what, I came here to promote my album and that's what I am going to do."
By the time she's on air her head is spinning just a little, she's trying to focus the best she can as she was quite tired, hungry and just plain exhausted. She's glad however that this is an interview where she's not required to worry about her looks.
"Here with us in the studio we have Miss Mitchie Torres who we believe only landed in the country a couple hours ago. How are you Mitchie?"
"I'm good, really tired but good. Extremely happy to be here."
"You're second album entitled 'Here We Go Again' came out earlier this year and we understand you just finished your American leg of the tour."
"Yes, I did. It was great to be able to share new music with my fans and see such a positive response."
"And you're back here touring with Connect 3 on a joint tour in August and we're more than excited."
"I am too. I fell in love with Europe when I toured here last. I'm just so excited to be able to be here this week and to be able to share my music and meet as many fans as possible."
She knows it almost too good to get through the interview before Shane is mentioned right at the end, "Has he come here with you? We believe he just finished his own tour in the states as well."
"He has just finished and he has come with me. He's currently at the hotel sleeping, he was even more tired than I am." It's not that she's ashamed of him or anything, it's just that she's promoting her album and it had gotten to a point where everyone just had to know everything about them.
"We've been hearing a lot about the two of you lately, rumours you're engaged, rumours you're releasing an album together, the rumours go on."
"Look they're just that, rumours." She affirms, "When it comes down to it, I know what is and isn't true. Ultimately I try not to let anything anybody else says affect me too much. At the end of the day, Shane is my best friend and has been so since I met him three years ago. "
By the time she has left she is taken to 'BBC Radio' for another interview and she is more than starving yet is super relieved that the station has a bunch of food waiting for her seeming as it's been a number of hours since she's eaten.
She is more than relieved once the interview is done as she is able to go back to the hotel, where a few paparazzi are waiting. How they found she was staying there she'd never know. Smiling confidently with her sunglasses on, she strolls inside with Brown, lets them take her shot.
Parting from Brown at his room, she continues on to her own and unlocks the door to find Shane inside in bed, shirtless. She momentarily loses her thought for a second before locking the door behind her and making her presence known. "I need to sleep or i'm going to die." She declares dramatically, takes her boots off before stripping down to just her singlet top and underwear.
"How were the interviews?"
"You know, the normal." She answers, hops into bed and closes her eyes.
"You've lost a lot of weight." He notes, "You look really thin..." He trails off. She doesn't open her eyes, she just doesn't know what to say so she just rolls onto her side to face him. And for a moment she thinks he must know, she hasn't been sick since two days beforehand.
"And you seem more muscular to me." She says and really she can even hear herself, how pathetic the response is. Opens her eyes and kisses him, bites his lower lip gently, tugs at it just a little as she feels a hand rest on her inner thigh.
She's as tired as hell, yet she cannot stop herself when it comes to Shane. She doesn't want to face up to her demons.
Waking up later that evening she is surprised to find Shane has ordered room service for them and seems to have ordered and exorbitant amount. A note besides it all indicates he's gone to the hotel's gym. So she does what she thinks is best, eats as much as she can stomach because she doesn't want him to think anything is wrong. She doesn't want to break his heart because really, Mitchie knows it will.
Before she can process it, she's being sick in the bathroom. In this beautiful en-suite in this beautiful hotel where Shane could walk in the door at any moment. She stares at the toilet bowl for a really long time and debates calling him but decides not to, gets up and decides she just wants to be better, that Shane deserves better. He doesn't deserve this broken girl that she had become.
Brushing her teeth repeatedly and running the water for the free standing bath tub in the centre of the room, she grabs a hotel note pad and a pen and just writes the first words that come to her head.
'I'm gonna love you like I've never been broken. I'm gonna say it like it's never been spoken. Tonight, tonight, i'm letting go.'
Sitting on the edge of the bathtub, she scribbles down more lyrics as it fills up with water. By the time it's filled up, Mitchie has literally written an entire set of lyrics for a song. She never had so quickly before.
Switching the television on the wall in front of the tub on, she gets in the tub and just closes her eyes, enjoys the heat and how it seems to relieve her mind.
Around ten minutes later, she hears Shane come in the room, she yells out she's in the bathroom and a moment later he enters and upon seeing him all sweaty from working out, Mitchie just wants to have him hold her.
"Join me." She beckons him over and he does, strips down and gets in the tub behind her so she can lean against him, "How was your work out?"
"Good," He answers her, places a kiss on the back of her head, "What's on the agenda for you tomorrow?"
"Photo shoot with Company Magazine then a performance of 'Remember December' on the X-Factor. You want to come and get scared shitless by Simon Cowell?"
"Simon is a pretty nice guy, i've met him a couple times now."
"It's just kind of daunting, he seems so mean on television." She laughs, turns her head around to kiss his jaw.
"You have the most amazing voice, Simon will see that, all of the UK will see that."
"It's really exciting all this, i'm just glad I have you here with me."
"I am too."
…
It's a surprise to herself when her nerves disappear on the X-Factor the following night, she's backstage about to go on and she just feels at complete ease.
Shane and Brown are in the audience and she's extremely excited to get out there. She's even more surprised at how well it goes, how her throat just allows her to hit notes effortlessly and how she just cannot seem to stop smiling.
It's all over in a whirlwind and before she knows it, Shane has her out the back in an awaiting car that's heading in the opposite direction of the hotel.
"I thought we'd take a little detour." Shane tells her knowingly, seeing the look on her face.
They arrive out the front of Buckingham Palace a little after ten o'clock and it's beautiful against the night sky with barely anyone else around. Asking their driver to take some photos of the two of them in front of the palace, Mitchie cannot help but take it all in.
…
She's up early the next day for a fan signing at HMV. Normally she would hate being up so early, but to meet with fans is definitely as good as an excuse as any to get up.
Staying back to sign for more fans by the end of the morning, Brown eventually whisks her away to another radio interview before she's allowed to head back to the hotel for some movie premiere that night.
In a way it felt weird promoting an album that had come out around two months beforehand, but she was glad to be able to share it with more people.
Doing her own hair and make up and getting into a little black dress and heels for the premiere, Shane seems overly impressed.
"You look fantastic. I know i've told you before but god I love your hair dark, especially when you're wearing all black like that."
She kisses him gratefully, proud because she has kept her food down all day regardless of the fact that she knows she'll be in front of the cameras soon enough. Shane is in a black suit and looks charming as always, "I guess I won't become a blonde anytime soon then." She grins.
"Please don't, you look hot with black hair." He tells her huskily, wraps his arms around her.
On the red carpet that night, it's Mitchie's first official event anywhere with Shane that isn't related to them. Proudly she holds his hand and poses with him for photo after photo.
A few reporters interview them and they talk about her album and Mitchie doesn't mind answering questions about their relationship with Shane besides her.
"So we know you aren't engaged." One lady laughs lightly, holding the microphone in front of them, "But we are dying to know about the diamond ring you've had on your finger since earlier this year."
Shane looks at her with that old lopsided smile on his face, "It was a gift from a certain someone." Is all she says. Prays they don't ask Shane about his missing ring that now belonged to her.
…
Her secret show is the following afternoon and there are only a few hundred fans in attendance making it a rather intimate show. She's backstage doing her vocal warm ups before Shane pops into her dressing room.
In between perfecting her vocals and finalising her hair, Caitlyn is messaging her wishing her good luck She misses her and plans to catch up with her when she's home again.
It's such a wonderful feeling being able to perform for her fans and it's even more wonderful that afterwards Shane surprises her with tickets to see Rock Of Ages on the West End.
Mitchie cannot believe how thrilled she is to be seeing a show, if she wasn't already a performer the show would have been enough to make her want to be one.
Heading back to their hotel they are surprised that a group of fans are waiting for them, having worked out where they were staying. Happily, they sign and take photos before retreating upstairs together, more than happy to have some private time to themselves.
Their last day in London they are scheduled to arrive at the 'Top Shop' summer and autumn catwalk show. Sitting snuggly in the front row with their hands intertwined Mitchie is more than thrilled to be there. She's excited to say the least and is glad Shane is with her as she is sure it will probably bore him.
By the time the show is over, they are invited backstage where there are models just everywhere and Mitchie has never felt more subconscious in her life. And there's Shane with her staring at all these skinny girls, not that she's jealous of him looking at them, she's jealous she can't look like that for him.
"Babe, you okay?" Shane asks clearly sensing something's wrong.
"Yeah, there are just so many beautiful models around." She admits and she knows Shane just gets it immediately, he pulls her close to him and tilts his chin up with his hand.
"You are the most beautiful girl in this room." He tells her for only her to hear with all the commotion going on backstage. This time she pulls him towards her, kisses him softly in front of every person there.
"Can we just go? We have an early flight in the morning and I just need you."
"Sure, we'll grab a cab."
"I'm just going to go to the bathroom first." She excuses herself with a kiss on his cheek.
Before locating a bathroom backstage one of the models stops her and asks for a photo with her. Graciously accepting, Mitchie wishes her the best before heading into the bathroom. It's completely empty thankfully and Mitchie immediately locks herself in one of the stalls.
Shane was good to her, too good most of the time and she just wanted to be good for him. He deserved a model, deserved her to look her best. She needed to look good for everyone, the fans, the media. For Hollywood. She really had succumbed to the pressure of it all, she just wants Shane to be happy though.
After being sick and cleaning herself up a bit, she stuffs a handful of mints into her mouth and makes her way back out to find Shane who instantly takes her hand in his. He kisses the side of her head and takes her back to their hotel.
The moment she's back in the room she's in the bathroom brushing her teeth and getting changed into one of his t-shirts. Staring at herself for just a little too long in the mirror, she can tell that she looks different. She's definitely skinnier in the face and has lost over ten pounds now, but she could easily lose another five without looking too thin.
Shane is shirtless when she comes out and for what seems like the longest time she's just staring at him.
"I ordered a couple pizzas." He tells her, indicating to the cardboard boxes on the coffee table.
Not hesitating to sit down besides him and grab a slice, "What better way to burn off eating this than some activity in the bedroom later on?" She says with a huge grin on her face.
"What would you be insinuating Miss Torres?"
"Oh, you know exactly what Shane."
…
Back in Los Angeles, Mitchie and Shane are invited to dinner with everyone at his parents house the second night they're back.
"Mum is cooking up a feast." Shane tells her as they get out the car.
Mitchie had been cautious since they'd been home, having photographers following them around everywhere. She had been making sure she looked her best whenever she stepped outside and the thought of so much food with people around was daunting.
By the time dinner is over, she feels so full that she just needs to release it all. She feels sick.
Excusing herself to 'call her mother', she makes her way upstairs to Shane's old bedroom and into his own bathroom.
She feels relief immediately, breathes heavily before getting herself up and over to the sink to wash her mouth out. Looking at herself in the mirror her heart falls into the pit of her chest to see Shane's reflection staring back at her, anguish on his face.